by Lizzie James
“She’s got everything to do with this,” she replied coldly. There was no emotion in her voice. Lucy didn’t care who she hurt here today. She cocked the pistol.
Johnny tensed in front of me, raising his hands in surrender.
“I love you, baby,” he stated, his voice choking with emotion.
Before I could blink, Lucy pulled the trigger and in that exact moment, Johnny was swiftly knocked to the side, his body narrowly missing the damage that Lucy had fired at him. Johnny went crashing into the coffee table. Sammy grabbed my arms, leaning his weight on me before standing upright.
I was relieved for a few seconds before the trigger sounded again, hitting Sammy in his back. My eyes shot down to his chest, gasping when I saw blood begin to spread over the front of his t-shirt. My own chest felt tight with pure emotion and fright before I realized I also had blood on me.
Looking down, my head began to feel woozy when I realized that there was a lot more blood on me compared to him. It’s silly to make that comparison but it’s just something you notice.
“Sammy…” I whispered, before my legs went from beneath me, crumpling to the floor.
My eyes remained open long enough to see Johnny crawl over to me, taking my face in his hands. I closed my eyes, my body giving in before another bang sounded. Darkness then took me, and I gave in, allowing it to swallow me whole.
20
Johnny
Standing there with Tillie tucked behind me away from the gun was pure hell. I wanted to charge at Lucy—to use my brute football strength to knock her down and take that gun from her. I just couldn’t. Not with Tillie here. If I moved away and unblocked my girl, Lucy wouldn’t hesitate in putting a bullet between her eyes.
I’d take the bullet.
Tillie would go on.
She cocked the gun, aiming it straight at me.
I closed my eyes, accepting that this was it—this was the end of my time with Tillie. I could see Sammy by the doorway and I knew that he would protect my girl. He would take Lucy down and stop her.
“I love you, baby,” I declared, wanting those to be the last words she ever heard from me.
I closed my eyes, ready for it before I was roughly knocked to the side, crashing into the coffee table. I looked up shocked when I saw Sammy standing and holding onto Tillie. Sammy and Tillie both seemed to be in a trance before her legs slowly gave way, her small body crumpling to the floor. Sammy followed, hitting the hardwood floor and crumpling into the foetal position.
I crawled over to them, kneeling in between them. Sammy was gasping for breath, but Tillie was silent. She was staring upwards, taking small and shallow breaths. I took her face in my hands before another gunshot sounded in the room.
Logan stood in the doorway, his arm raised with a small pistol in his hands. Lucy was on the floor, but I couldn’t pull away.
Tillie’s brown eyes slowly closed, her body going limp in my arms.
“No, no, no…” I roughly shook her. “Tillie, wake up! Wake up, baby!” I shook her hard, her head knocking against the floor beneath her. “She’s not waking up, man. She’s not—”
Logan leaned over Sammy, checking his pulse before pulling his phone out and dialing the emergency services. It felt like forever that it took them to get to us but finally the paramedics were coming in with stretchers and first aid kits.
I rocked Tillie in my arms, my eyes never leaving her face. She couldn’t leave me. Not like this. I had only just gotten her back.
Logan pulled my arms, forcing me to let go of my hold of her.
The paramedics muttered some stats back and forth to each other before lifting her and Sammy both on to stretchers and taking them out of the house.
I followed them, needing to go with Tillie, but they shook their heads at me forcefully. She was too critical, and they needed the space to work on her. The ambulances pulled away, their lights flashing in our dark street, carrying the two pieces of my heart with them. My knees crumpled, hitting the hard road below me.
I fisted my hand in my hair, defeated on the cold floor. I wanted to be with Tillie and I needed to be with Sammy. I sobbed, not knowing what to do. Not knowing where to go. Blue lights flashed down our street, two vehicles coming to a stop in the middle of the road.
Logan ran up to the first car, explaining who he was and what had happened all together. The officers from the other car went straight past me, going inside the house. Logan gave me a quick head nod, pointing at the car he was standing beside.
Once we were inside, the officers drove us straight to the hospital.
Thankfully, one of them had the sense to come in with us and take us through the emergency department. Tillie and Sammy had both been taken straight to surgery to remove the bullets from them.
Sitting in the waiting room was pure hell.
A few hours later, my patience was wound tight. I needed to know what was happening. Was she alive? Was Sammy as critical as Tillie seemed to be? Sammy had at least been conscious when the ambulance had taken him away from the house.
I sat there on my own for an hour, during which time I paced the floor and stared at the door, completely forgetting about Joy. She must have been worried sick. Logan was with Sammy; I didn’t want him alone.
Still I had heard nothing.
I shot back in my seat when I heard a male voice shouting Tillie’s name in the foyer.
“Tillie! Tillie! Where is my daughter?”
I walked out into the corridor and saw an older man with brown hair but grey on the sides looking exactly how I felt. His eyes met mine before he ran up to me.
“Are you Johnny?” He looked angrily at me. As he should. It was my fault his little girl was lying in surgery with a bullet in her chest right now. “Where’s my baby girl, Johnny?”
I didn’t even have a chance to say anything before two nurses flanked him on each side, pulling him away to a doctor. He looked back at me before pointing at me.
“He can come as well.” He looked distraught, but I was glad he still thought to include me.
“Sir, I’m sorry but only family can—”
“He’s her fiancé. He’s family.” He nodded his head toward the doctor, indicating for me to follow.
Sitting in the room with him, I waited with bated breath, both dreading and needing this update. The doctor sat opposite him after the nurses left.
“First of all, I’m happy to say that they are both out of surgery. It was successful, and the internal bleeding has been stopped.” He turned to me with a serious look on his face. “Sammy was hit in the back and the bullet punctured his left kidney. I’m sorry to say that we had to remove it.”
“Will that…” I swallowed loudly, my nerves getting the better of me. “Is that going to affect his life?”
“It shouldn’t,” the doctor replied.
I nodded, cringing at that response. It didn’t sound very hopeful.
“And Tillie?” I asked, my voice sounding croaky.
The doctor turned back to Tillie’s father, his hands tensing on the clipboard in his hands.
“When the bullet traveled through Sammy, it punctured Tillie’s lung and got trapped near her windpipe. Her lung collapsed during surgery and Tillie had a reaction to the anaesthetic during surgery. Her heart rate dropped, and she required chest compressions and a shot of adrenaline.”
There was no hope in his tone at all. My blood ran cold at his words.
“The good news is that we have removed the bullet, the bleeding has stopped, and she is breathing on her own.”
“Is my baby girl going to be okay?” her father choked out.
“That depends on Tillie at the moment. Due to the anaesthetic we gave her, we need to give her the rest that she needs. She is currently being moved to our high dependency unit where she can have closer one-to-one care from our nurses there.”
“Can I see her?” he asked, desperation laced in his tone.
“Of course.” The doctor nodded, respectfully stan
ding up. “Johnny, you’re welcome to come and see her once you’ve checked on your brother?” He ended it as a question, probably unsure about what I wanted to do.
“Can I see Tillie first, please?” I would beg them if I had to. “I need to see her—see that she’s…”
“Of course you can,” her father answered me, tapping me on my back. “Let’s go and see our girl, okay?” He rubbed my shoulder, trying to lend some support no doubt, but I couldn’t feel anything.
I needed her to be okay.
Walking into her room, I felt like my body was going to give out at the sight of seeing her in that bed.
She was tiny.
She had a needle going into her hand and a bag of fluid pumping into her. A thin oxygen pipe went up her nose and down the back of her throat.
I took a seat next to her, gently picking up her free hand and holding it in both of mine. She had a hospital gown on, but I could see some bandage wrapping going over her left shoulder beneath the gown.
“Her body was low on oxygen as were her blood sugar levels, so we’ll be feeding her oxygen through the night. As I said, she’s breathing on her own, but we would just like to give her that little extra help.”
The doctor excused himself from the room, leaving us alone with Tillie. Her father took the seat on the other side of her, stroking his fingers over her arm. He looked over at me, his eyes glistening.
This was not how we were supposed to meet. It was supposed to be over dinner. In a perfect world, I was supposed to take him aside and tell him how fascinating I found his daughter and how I couldn’t live without her. I would ask him for his blessing before getting down on one knee for his baby girl. Instead we were sitting at her bedside, praying to the gods of fate for her to wake up.
I spent the night in the chair at Sammy’s bedside. Only two visitors were allowed to stay by their patient in the intensive care unit though the day, but Sammy’s nurse in his ward had obviously developed a soft spot for him. If I didn’t disturb his sleep, I was welcome to stay and sleep in the chair through the night.
The next day, my world was crushed when I went to visit my girl. She still hadn’t woken up and my heart broke seeing the oxygen tube hooked up to her and hearing her little heart beat on a machine…
I was broken.
A few days slowly passed.
Sammy was discharged from the hospital with strict instructions to rest at home. Logan had changed all the locks in the house and had also arranged for an alarm system to be installed at the house.
Due to Tillie’s condition, only one visitor was allowed at her bedside at a time. It was devastating, but I had to step back and allow her father to be the one to spend most of his time with her. I wanted it to be me, but I had to remember she was his little girl.
I had no clue what to do.
Where did I go.
What should I be doing?
Without her, I had nothing. I was nothing. She had come to believe in me in a way that I had come to depend on. I had gone from being the most insensitive asshole on the planet to being wound around her little finger. Only hers.
And then there was Sammy: my clueless little brother.
Logan had become a wreck since the incident. He wouldn’t leave Sammy’s side. Couldn’t. They had been best friends since they were three years old. Logan blamed himself for everything—for not being there; for always being busy.
I closed my eyes, thinking back to our memories over Christmas.
It had been only a few days before New Year’s, but it had been perfect. I had been nervous the whole day, worrying about her finding my little surprise in my pocket. She had kept asking me why I was stammering all the time. I had always been confident around her and I had suddenly turned into a bumbling idiot.
It had been New Year’s Eve and I had decided I wanted to take her somewhere—some place where it could just be me and her. I’d gotten us invited to the swanky party at the art museum in town.
She had loved it.
Her face had lit up so brightly when I’d danced with her beneath the stars.
Asking her to move in with the boys and me had been the right decision and I had been so happy that she had said yes.
I smiled, thinking back to that day. It had been perfect. If it were still that day: I would keep her there with me forever.
My smile slipped, picturing her where she currently lay. My eyes filled, thinking of her. The doctors had tried to inject some positivity into their tones, but I could tell by the way they looked at Tillie that they were not hopeful, even though the waiting room had been busy with constant visitors: Bex, Logan, Sammy, Tillie’s dad, my mom, the coach, my team mates…
They had all shown their love and support in our darkest moments.
It was no good, though: she was still sleeping, and I was still waiting to see her beautiful eyes open.
My face crumpled when a final image went through my thoughts: the bullet wound that caused all this. One bullet fired in hate from a gun that went straight through Sammy into my beloved Tillie.
My legs gave way, collapsing me to the ground where I allowed myself for the first time to break.
That’s what I was. Broken.
Walking to her room, I jumped in shock when Logan came barrelling down the hallway, shouting my name.
“Johnny! Johnny!” His eyes landed on me. He was as white as a ghost. My chest tightened with fear. “Johnny, quick!” He waved me toward him, turning around and running back in the direction of Tillie’s room.
I ran after him, terrified. Praying to the man upstairs was useless now. I just needed her to be okay. Stopping in her doorway, I froze, shocked at what I was seeing.
“Hi,” she whispered, her beautiful Bambi eyes on me.
I had no words. My feet carried me until I was on my knees in front of her. I slumped, my head resting in her blanket-covered lap where I sobbed. She threaded her fingers through my hair, massaging my scalp with her fingers.
“It’s okay,” she whispered. “It’s okay, Johnny.”
Her voice was music to my ears. It was a sound I never thought I’d ever hear again.
I leaned up, taking her face in my hands and kissing her. I poured every ounce of passion that I felt for her into that kiss. She would never doubt how much I loved her—no one ever would as far as I was concerned.
I took a seat on the bed sitting next to her father. We both breathed a sigh of relief at the same time, making us both chuckle. He placed his arm across my shoulders, giving me a one-armed hug.
It was several weeks later before Tillie was moved to a private room. The guys hated not being able to visit her. The nurses were strict and would only let her father or me in to visit.
She smiled over at me, looking as beautiful as ever. “My two favorite guys.”
“Excuse me?” Logan asked, standing by the doorway. “I thought I was your favorite guy.”
Tillie laughed at his cockiness, a blush stealing across her cheeks.
Tillie’s final visitor of the day had arrived. He had been back and forth several times, leaving more disheartened each time. Sammy had begun to feel guilt that he hadn’t been able to protect Tillie from the bullet that had torn through him. I hadn’t been very supportive in that area. I had been too consumed by my worry for Tillie, but I was proud of Sammy’s actions on that day. He had put his life on the line to save not just Tillie, but also me. He had saved my life.
He walked into the room with Bex following behind him. He was still moving slowly and holding his left side stiff. Chunk was behind him, standing close enough to catch him if his balance went.
Tillie held her hand out to me, silently asking for help.
I stood, pulling her up gently. I walked with her, keeping my hand on the small of her back. She was dressed in her black leggings and her favorite Yoda t-shirt.
“Hi Sammy.” She smiled up at him.
“Hi yourself.” He grinned down at her. He fidgeted, his feet twitching. I could tell that he fe
lt awkward having everyone staring at him, but it couldn’t be helped.
“Thank you so much,” she rasped, taking both of his hands in hers.
“For what?” He frowned down at her in confusion.
“For what?” She chuckled, repeating his words back to him before shaking her head. “What you did.” Her voice wavered, indicating that she was barely holding it together. “You saved Johnny. You tried to save me.” She wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his chest.
He squeezed her gently, rocking her from side to side and resting his head on hers.
“You’re my hero, Sammy.”
Sammy looked over at me, his eyes glistening with unshed tears at Tillie’s declaration. She slowly moved to the side, taking a seat on the bed in between her father and Joy.
I wrapped my arms around Sammy, pressing a quick kiss to the side of his head.
“I love you, bro.”
He nodded his head, not saying anything back. It had been an emotional day, but everyone knew that we were all here thanks to Sammy.
21
Tillie
It was several weeks later before the hospital allowed me to go. They wanted to make sure that my lungs were back to full working condition. I also required several heart scans to make sure that I didn’t have a heart condition. Once I was given a clean bill of health, they allowed me home.
The sad thing was that my father had lost his job. He was basically given an ultimatum to either return home and return to work or they would have to replace him. He soon told them where to shove it and decided to move here so that he could be closer.
I was happy about that. He had already gotten a job in town at the art museum. They had taken him on as their graphic designer. They wanted to branch out more with marketing their events and I was super excited that he would now be here full time.
I wasn’t allowed to return to college yet. I had received several visits from my professors, which was so sweet of them. I had also received a bunch of flowers from my life studies professor with a report sheet. My portrait of Johnny on his arena field had meant I had passed with flying colors and he had recommended me for an internship at the museum. Five students were up for the position and the successful applicant would be appointed at the end of the school year.