by Virna DePaul
I stalk out of the coffeehouse. I look up at the snow falling and realize that I’ll probably have to shovel out my car, it’s been falling so quickly. I curse under my breath. Of course my car would be buried in snow when I need to get away from Bastian Rich! I hear him following me, and I’m about to turn around and push him into the snow when he touches me on the shoulder.
I stop, but don’t turn to look at him. I’m staring off into the horizon instead.
“Look, I saw you and I just couldn’t stop myself from telling you how much I wanted you back. But that’s not why I came here. At least, not the main reason.”
I’m starting to melt, like the snowflakes falling on my cheeks. I shouldn’t listen to him, but his voice is just pleading enough that I want to hear him out. Finally, I look at him and sigh. “Fine. You only get five minutes, though.”
He leads me to his car and I’m grateful for it, because it’s still somewhat warm inside and not buried in snow. Bastian turns on the engine and blasts the heat, brushing the snow off the windshield with his wipers. We don’t say anything for a moment.
“I went looking for you today,” he says, not looking at me. “At Cooper’s, that is. When I saw that you weren’t there, I was afraid you were home sick.”
“No, I don’t work there anymore.”
“That’s what Kevin told me. He also told me you’re going back to school.” He turns toward me now, and when our gazes meet, electricity zings through my body. “I’m so proud of you. This is a big first step. You’re going to be the woman I always knew you could be.”
I’m both flattered and annoyed. My annoyance wins out this time. “That’s a different opinion you have of me. Last time, correct me if I’m wrong, you called me a coward? That I was too afraid to do what I wanted? Yeah, I see that you remember. But I guess you were wrong.”
“I was wrong,” he replies instantly. “That’s the real reason I came here: to tell you I was wrong and how sorry I am. So, so, sorry. I fucked up, Julia. I said you were a coward, but you know what I figured out?” I shake my head, and he laughs a little. “You’re not a coward, but the bravest person I know. I’m the coward. And because of that, I lost you.”
The ice around my heart is still melting, and his apology makes a serious dent. I don’t want it to. God, I don’t want it to, but I’ve never had much self-control in regards to this man. And despite everything, I love him still.
“I was a coward,” he continues, “because I thought you deserved a better man. A man who isn’t sick and who you wouldn’t have to take care of. The thought of you putting your life on hold for me? I couldn’t bear it. So I pushed you away.” He looks out into the distance at the falling snow. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I needed to tell you how sorry I am for what I did.”
I look out the windshield, too, watching the snowflakes. I’m breathing hard, and I can feel the press of tears on my eyes. I want to cry and cry—for me, for Bastian, for us—and the despair in his words is slowly cracking that last barrier around my heart.
I say in a quiet voice, “You were right, in a way.”
He looks at me.
“I was scared. I was so scared of failing again that I stayed at a job I hated and lived in a place I hated and I was miserable, but I was safe. You made me realize that—even if it made me mad as hell.” I smile. “So I decided to give you a huge ‘fuck you’ and go back to school. ‘This will show how wrong Bastian is.’ But I know now that you were right. In the end, we were both cowards, weren’t we?”
His gaze is roving over my face, drinking me in, and I do the same. I need to touch him, but I can’t let myself. Not yet.
“I’m going back to school in the spring,” I say, because I know Bastian is going to say something he can’t take back. “I’m moving away from Rutherford. I have to get away from here. I wasn’t supposed to end up here, handing out Q-tips to old men at Cooper’s.” My voice rises, and I realize that I’m almost yelling. I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Bastian.”
“For what?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know. Just, for everything. Even if we could make things work…” I shake my head again. “It doesn’t matter: your job is in Rutherford, your family and friends—everything.”
He doesn’t say anything, and I know I’m right. He’s not going to abandon his job to follow me. Why should he? Just because we had some great sex and developed feelings for each other doesn’t mean he’d give everything up. I lean my head back on the leather seat and sigh.
That’s when Bastian takes my hand. I turn toward him, and his gaze won’t let me go.
“Julia,” he murmurs. “God, Julia, I love you so much. I can’t live without you.” I tremble, and he grips my hand harder. The love shining in his gaze makes my tears overflow. “I don’t care where you go. We’ll work it out. I’ll do long distance; I’ll drive to see you every weekend. The logistics don’t matter.” He takes a deep breath. “Will you give me another chance?” he asks softly. “Or are we really over?”
No, we’re not over! I want to scream. I want to beg him to be with me. I can’t move. I can’t believe that he’d want me that much. But as I gaze into his eyes and see the truth there, I know I can’t ignore it.
He loves me. I let out a little sob at the realization.
I lean toward him, pressing my forehead against his. “I adore you, Bastian Rich,” I whisper. “You’re my true love, and although I want to shake you until your teeth fall out, I want to be with you more.” I sigh. “Everything about this terrifies me—you know that, right? I told you in the beginning I wanted to keep things casual, but I know I can’t. I fell in love with you the first time you came into Cooper’s.”
He smiles. “I fell in love with you the day I saw you trying to keep that guy from eating all of your chicken wings.”
I laugh and then sob. I lean back and wipe my eyes. “You’re sure about this? I’ll be in school full-time plus doing my internship. I don’t know if you’ll see me much.”
His smile is so bright that it lights up my entire body. “As long as I can see you, and hear your voice, that’s all that matters. You’ve made me into a better man, Julia. A man who believes I’m worthy of love again.”
I can’t stand it any longer. In a shaky voice I say, “Kiss me, Bastian?”
He growls low in his throat. “With pleasure.”
He cups my face, and smoothing a thumb across my cheek, kisses me. I make a sound that’s between a groan and a sob as our lips meet. It’s a homecoming and it’s what I’ve been waiting for all this time. As angry as I was with him, I wanted him to return to me even more. His mouth is gentle and seeking, and it’s a communion of the purest kind of love. I clutch at his shoulders because I’m afraid I’ll melt into the seat otherwise.
He keeps saying my name over and over again. I kiss his face, his nose, his chin, and then he’s doing the same to me. We both laugh. I’ve never kissed someone with so much joy between us. I’m about to suggest we climb into the backseat and let this kiss become something more when a cop taps on the driver’s-side window.
I jump. Bastian pulls away from me and fumbles with the window button. As the window lowers, he says, “How can I help you, officer?”
The cop eyes us, as if he’s trying to figure out what we were doing, exactly. I’m blushing and trying not to act like we were about to have sex in the back of Bastian’s car.
Then the cop shrugs. “The storm’s getting worse. You two should probably get on home. There’s a warning out.”
“Thanks for letting us know,” Bastian says. “We’ll be sure to get going soon.”
The cop nods and walks back to his vehicle. When I look at the windshield, I burst out laughing: it’s all fogged up, and I know the cop had to have seen it.
“Oh my God!” I say, still laughing. “Did you see that cop’s face?” I wipe my eyes, squinting at the foggy windshield. “I feel like there’s some kind of Titanic joke here. But my brain is too mushy to think
of one.”
“I’d rather not drown in icy water, if it’s all the same to you.”
I grin. “I’d share my floating door with you, Bastian Rich.”
“You’re too kind.” He puts the car in drive. “Let’s get out of here. We’ll come get your car tomorrow.”
“Deal.”
He kisses me again, and as the snow falls around us, I know that I’ve made the right choice.
Bastian is the only man for me.
Epilogue
Bastian
It’s been over four months since Julia and I got back together. She goes to school full-time and has her internship with the music composer, and I have my business, but we somehow manage to spend any free time we have with one another. Luckily, she found a place halfway between Rutherford and her university, which makes things easier. She likes the town, and I like the idea of someday finding a house there for the two of us.
I never thought I’d find a woman who fascinates me as much as Julia does. She’s blossomed, going back to school, and I’ve even gotten her to play for me. Her voice is exquisite, just like I knew it would be. I told her I intend to introduce her to a music agent when she’s ready, but she’s being stubborn, saying she wants to do things on her own. I’m fine with accepting her answer for now, because she hasn’t even finished school yet, but I’m already planting the seeds.
One thing I didn’t tell her and probably never will: I had a little meeting with Professor Macintosh, who denied spreading rumors about Julia all those years ago. Still, I made it crystal clear that it would be in his best interest to stay away from Julia and forget any notion he might harbor about denigrating her talent. A few months later, he handed in his resignation, something Julia never even mentioned, and I loved that—that she’s been so focused on her schooling and her future that she hasn’t spared Macintosh even a passing thought.
I’m finishing up for the afternoon when I get a call from Ryland Masters. His investment ended up being great for everyone, and we can be mostly civil with each other. I try my hardest not to allude to anything Julia-related while around him, but sometimes if he gets on my nerves, I’ll mention something offhand about her. Julia’s told me I’m being petty, but she smiles each time.
“A meeting on Tuesday is fine. Yes, we can go over your portfolio.” I listen as Ryland asks if I can look at the portfolio by this weekend. I shake my head. “I have plans this weekend.” Ryland goes silent, and I feel a little guilty, but only a little.
“Well, whenever you get a chance,” he finally says, sounding kind of sulky.
“Will do. Talk to you later. “Bye.”
Glancing at my watch, I see that it’s close to 5:00. I’d better get out of here before traffic gets too bad; otherwise my plans are going to get all messed up. And tonight has to go perfectly.
I’m proposing to Julia tonight at dinner. I’m picking up flowers and the ring before heading home to change and then picking her up at her place.
I stuff documents into my briefcase, grab my phone, and head out, waving goodbye to Holly and Lucian. If I didn’t know better, I’d think those two are an item, but I’ve been too focused on my own relationship to think about it too hard. Julia thinks they’d be perfect for each other. Now that she’s found love, she’s gotten the matchmaking bug.
I pick up roses at the florist and then get the ring. It’s not a giant diamond, but instead a striking and gorgeous emerald. Julia once told me she preferred colorful stones, so I ended up choosing an emerald for her, which I think suits her perfectly. After paying the jeweler, I head home and get dressed before going to Julia’s place.
Although I have a key to her place—and she has a key to mine—I knock on the door and wait, holding the roses. Finally, she opens the door, a beautiful smile on her face. She gasps when she sees the flowers. “They’re gorgeous!” Taking them from me, she kisses me and then walks into her kitchen, grabbing a vase from a cabinet. “And you remembered that I love white roses!”
I pull her close, kissing her neck and smelling her hair. She’s wearing a slinky white dress that complements the roses. I wonder if the restaurant would get upset if we were late…
Julia places the roses in water, arranging them before turning to me. “Ready? I’m starving! Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise,” I say.
I take her to the tapas restaurant where I apologized for ghosting on her all those months ago. Her eyes widen, and then she laughs when she realizes what I’ve done.
“I hope you don’t have to apologize for something,” she says, raising a blond eyebrow.
“Nothing that I’m aware of. But I’m sure you’ll tell me if I do need to apologize.”
She giggles as we sit down. “You know me so well.”
It’s hard to believe that I’m here with Julia right now, watching her laugh and smile and chat, candles making her glow. Not only have I found the love of my life, but my lupus is in remission once again. There’s no guarantee it won’t return, but I’m hopeful, and so is my physician. Julia also makes sure I eat right and get enough sleep—well, as much sleep as you can get when you just want to make love to your girlfriend every night—and we go to the gym together. Having her in my life keeps my stress levels down, which I know will keep me in remission longer.
I know it sounds cheesy, but Julia’s my angel, always watching out for me. I just hope I can do the same for her.
We eat and chat and drink sangria. I feed Julia bites of tapas, and although she blushes and smiles, she takes the offered bites and may have licked my fingers more than once.
While we’re waiting for the check, I know the time has arrived. I can feel the ring case burning a hole in my pocket. Nerves burst through me, and I’m surprised at how anxious I am. I’m sure she’ll say yes, but this is a huge step. Yet as I look at her, I know it’s the right step. I can’t imagine marrying any other woman.
I get up, and Julia looks at me. “Where are you going…?” She gasps when she realizes I’m kneeling in front of her.
I take her hand, the ring in my other hand. “Julia Louise Rominger,” I say in a low voice, “I hope you know how much I love you. I love you from here to the moon and back. I wish I could come up with artistic metaphors to tell you how much I love you, but I’m not that kind of man.” She’s shaking a little, and I press her fingers. I then open up the box with my right hand and take out the ring. It winks in the candlelight.
“Oh, Bastian,” she murmurs.
“I adore you, Julia. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Will you marry me?”
She’s crying now, and wiping away her tears, and then she’s nodding before she wraps her arms around me, hugging me close. She keeps whispering yes against my neck, and I hold her close. I don’t even notice that the restaurant is applauding, or that I’m still holding the ring. When Julia pulls away to wipe her eyes again, I take her left hand and place the ring on her finger.
“It’s beautiful. I love emeralds. I love it. I love you!” She kisses me, and then she laughs. “I’m going to be Mrs. Julia Rich!”
The restaurant applauds again, and then we’re given a congratulatory cake from the staff as a result.
I’m not interested in the cake, though. I just want to take Julia home and make love to her while she’s wearing my ring.
I practically carry her into my house when we arrive, and we’re kissing the entire time. As I shut the front door, I flip the lock just as she’s unbuckling my belt. I’m trying to find the zipper on her dress, and curse when it gets stuck. She laughs, pulling away and unzipping the dress herself. She’s now clad in a matching white lace bra and panties, and I’m almost drooling. I can see already that she’s wet, and it only makes me wilder.
We run upstairs, stripping off the last pieces of clothing until we’re completely naked. I play with her breasts, kissing between them. I lick her, tasting salt and roses, and then I move down until I bury my face in her slick pussy. She arches and moans, and I h
ave to grip her hips to keep her steady. Her clit is swollen beneath my tongue. I lick and suck, and just as she’s about to come, I stop.
“Bastian,” she whimpers in a needy voice. “I was so close. Please…”
I spread her legs farther, settling between them. As I kiss her, she groans, especially when my cock brushes her sensitive flesh.
“Patience is a virtue,” I say.
She just curses.
But I’m losing control, too. She’s too hot, too wet, too sexy and gorgeous, and I can see the ring sparkling in the light. My fiancée, my soon-to-be wife. The thought just makes me harder, and I thrust inside of her all the way, my pelvis pressing against her.
She undulates. Playing with her breasts, she opens her eyes, her gaze starry-eyed, as I fuck her. Her breasts bounce, and I’m gripping her legs just to give myself some kind of leverage. I know I’m close: I can feel that familiar tingling, centered in my lower back. I thrust harder, glancing off her clit each time.
She arches her head back and moans. And then just as she pinches her nipples and I lean down to bite her neck, she orgasms. I can feel the waves along my cock, and then I’m coming along with her. I explode. I moan, loud and long, emptying myself inside of her for long moments. The smell of sex and sweat fills the room, and it’s a heady, erotic combination.
Hours later, we’re exhausted. I’ve lost count of how many orgasms we’ve each had. My limbs feel like they’re about to fall off, but it’s a sated kind of exhaustion. Spooning, I brush Julia’s hair over her shoulder and kiss the nape of her neck.
That’s when she starts laughing.
“What’s so funny?” I ask, confused.
She tries to wave away the question, but I’m persistent. Finally, she sighs and admits, “I was just thinking about how Kevin and I nicknamed you ‘Big Sexy.’ Before I knew who you were. You’d come into Cooper’s looking like the sexiest thing ever, and the best part of my day was checking you and your ass out.”