‘Kettering?’ The woman pursed her lips and looked towards the ceiling as if for inspiration. ‘Can’t say as it rings a bell. What did you want him for?’
‘My father would so like to get back in touch with his old friend and I thought I’d surprise him by trying to find him.’
‘Oh, what a lovely idea!’ The woman beamed.
‘Thank you. It would mean a lot to my dad.’ Maddie felt bad about lying, but didn’t know what else to do. I can’t tell her the truth, after all.
‘Well, the only thing I can suggest is that you talk to the vicar. He’s been here forty years at least, so if anyone knows it would be him.’
‘That’s a brilliant idea. Where will I find him?’
‘He’ll either be in the church or pottering around his garden which is right next door. Red house with white painted windows, you can’t miss it.’
‘Thank you very much. You’ve been very kind.’
‘Not at all.’
Maddie left the shop and had to stop and rest for a moment. Her legs were trembling and she closed her eyes to regain control. It had seemed like such a good idea to come, but now she was actually here she found it extremely difficult.
‘Don’t be so stupid,’ she admonished herself. ‘No one here would ever guess the real reason for your questions.’ With renewed determination she set off in the direction of the Norman church – the square tower clearly visible some fifty yards further down the road.
As luck would have it, she passed the vicarage first and there was an old man in the garden, bending over his roses with a spray can of insecticide. Maddie cleared her throat noisily and he looked up and smiled a greeting.
‘Excuse me, but are you the vicar?’ she asked.
‘Indeed, young lady, I am. Are you in need of my services?’ He approached the fence, leaving the can on the grass by the flowers.
‘Well, not exactly,’ she began, and repeated the story she had told the shopkeeper.
The old man’s face clouded over while she spoke and he shook his head.
‘I’m terribly sorry, dear, but John Kettering is no longer with us.’
‘You mean ...?’
‘Yes, he died two years ago. He’s buried over there.’ He nodded towards the cemetery.
‘Oh, that’s too bad.’ The grief Maddie felt was genuine enough, although it wasn’t for the reason the vicar would think. ‘Dad so wanted to see him again,’ she lied, crossing her fingers behind her back in order to somehow make it better.
The old man patted her arm. ‘Don’t worry, dear, they’ll meet again. The good Lord will make sure of it.’
‘Yes, I suppose so.’ Maddie tried to think rationally. It was really bad luck that the only lead she had should end this way. She decided to try one last thing. ‘Didn’t Mr Kettering have a sister? I think I heard my dad mention her.’
‘Yes, I believe he did, although I’ve not seen her for years. Didn’t even come to her brother’s funeral, so she might be dead herself for all I know.’
‘You didn’t know her?’
‘Not very well, no. She came to stay with John just after he moved here. She was pregnant at the time, I believe, but after that she never visited once. I must admit I thought it very odd.’
‘I see. Is there anyone here who would know where she lives?’
The vicar shook his head. ‘No, I’m sorry, my dear. She kept herself to herself, if you know what I mean. Didn’t make friends with anyone. And it was a long time ago, must be thirty years at least.’
Twenty-seven, she longed to shout. It was twenty-seven years ago and she was my mother. But of course she couldn’t do that. Instead she thanked the old man for his assistance and made her way back to the shop.
‘Oh, you’re back. Any good?’
Maddie made a little face and smiled sadly. ‘Yes, but it turns out Mr Kettering is dead.’
‘Oh, dear, how sad. Never mind, you’ve done your best, haven’t you? Can’t do no more.’
‘Yes, I suppose so.’ Feeling depressed and dispirited, Maddie bought several bunches of flowers and returned to the cemetery. She found the grave of her uncle and arranged the bouquet in a vase she found nearby, before sinking down onto the soft grass. She buried her face in her hands and gave in to the sadness and despair which engulfed her. Sadness because she would never know her uncle now, and despair because she had come all this way for nothing.
Finally, with a whispered goodbye to John Kettering, she set off back to Devon with yet another headache and eyes that stung from tears and having to concentrate on the road.
Life was so unfair sometimes.
Chapter Eleven
There was a telephone on the landing outside Maddie’s room and its shrill old-fashioned ringing woke her the next morning. When no one answered it, she stumbled out of bed and rushed out to pick up the receiver.
‘Hello? Marcombe Hall.’ She cleared her throat to stop her voice from sounding like John Wayne with a cold.
‘Maddie, it’s Jessie. I’ve got some news for you.’ Jessie’s cheerful voice grated on Maddie’s ears. She had spent most of the night awake, tossing and turning, before finally falling asleep, only to be haunted by the dark nightmare once more. She felt completely exhausted.
‘Well, I’ve got news for you too. I went to that damned village yesterday and all I found was a grave.’
‘A grave? Whose grave?’
‘John Kettering’s. My uncle, remember?’
‘Oh, well never mind. It doesn’t matter.’
‘What do you mean it doesn’t matter? It’s a bloody disaster, that’s what it is!’
‘Oh, shut up, Maddie. I’d forgotten what a grump you are in the morning.’
‘I’m not a ―’
‘Listen, I went back online and checked the records for the years before your birth, and guess what I found? Ruth Kettering’s marriage. She wasn’t a single unmarried mother at all.’
‘What? But then why didn’t I have a father?’
‘I don’t know. I sent for the marriage certificate and it just arrived this morning. She was married in 1981 to someone called Saul Blake-Jones.’
Maddie gasped and sank slowly down onto the floor with her back against the wall. Her vision swam and her legs refused to support her. She had to grip the receiver harder as her hands began to tremble violently.
‘B-Blake-Jones? That awful man? Oh, my God! No, it can’t be true.’ On top of her wasted journey of the previous day, it was simply too much. She felt physically sick and swallowed down the bile which threatened to choke her.
‘Awful man? You know him?’ Jessie sounded perplexed and Maddie told her about some of her strange experiences in Dartmouth.
‘Well he might not be your father,’ Jessie said. ‘Perhaps they had been divorced by the time you were born. I didn’t check that, but I will. Why would she put her maiden name otherwise and not name him as the father?’
‘Great. This just gets better and better,’ Maddie muttered. ‘Shit, I’ve got to talk to Jane.’
‘Who’s Jane?’
Maddie swallowed hard. ‘Blake-Jones’s daughter.’ She added the details about her meeting with the girl.
‘Then you definitely need to talk to her. She might be able to find out more somehow.’
‘Yes, you’re right. I’ll ask her if she knows whether her father has been married more than once and I’ll call you when I have more news. And Jessie, thanks for your help. I’m sorry if I was a grouch, but this whole business is getting to me.’
‘Don’t worry, I understand. Let me know what happens, okay? Bye.’
For fear of missing Jane’s phone call, Maddie stayed indoors all day trying to concentrate on a book. When she had read the same page five times without being able to make sense of the words, however, she gave up and went to the kitchen to do some baking.
‘What do you want to do baking for in this weather?’ Annie asked suspiciously. ‘You should be outdoors, so you should.’
‘I�
��m waiting for a phone call and it’s very important. Sorry, I don’t mean to get in your way, but I need something to do.’
‘Oh very well, help yourself to whatever you need.’
Maddie had produced a batch of brownies and a sponge cake by the time the phone finally rang and driven Annie nearly to distraction by being underfoot all day. Fortunately for Annie’s sanity it was Jane calling at last.
‘Thank God it’s you! I’ve been waiting all day hoping you’d call.’ Maddie heaved a sigh of relief.
‘Oh? What’s up?’
‘I need to see you. Can we meet this afternoon?’
‘Well, I don’t know, it’s a bit difficult, but perhaps I can get away for a short while. I’ll try to meet you in the car park at half past four, all right?’
‘Great. I’ll see you there.’
Jane was ten minutes late, and Maddie’s fingernails had once again been chewed to within a hair’s breadth of their lives by the time the girl slipped into the seat next to her.
‘Shall we go outside town like before?’ Maddie asked.
‘Yes, please. I don’t want anyone to see us if we can help it.’
They were both silent on the ride to the little lay-by, but once there Jane started talking in a rush. ‘So what did you want to see me about? Have you found something?’
Maddie nodded. ‘Tell me something first. Do you know whether your father has been married more than once?’
‘No, not that I’m aware of.’
‘And what’s your mother’s name?’
‘Ruth. Why?’
Maddie took a deep breath to slow down her heartbeat, which had suddenly escalated to an almost unbearable frenzy. ‘And do you know what her maiden name was?’
‘Yes, of course. It was Kettering, but why do you want to know?’
Maddie drew in another deep, steadying breath. ‘I’m not sure I should be telling you this, but … I think I may be at least your half-sister. Ruth was my mother too.’
Jane’s mouth fell open. ‘You’ve got to be kidding, right?’
‘Nope. I just found out today that my birth mother, Ruth Kettering, married someone called Saul Blake-Jones. I thought perhaps she’d been his first wife or something. I never dreamed … I guess I should have asked you what your mother’s name was last time we met, but it didn’t occur to me she could be the same person.’
Jane pulled herself together. ‘That explains her reaction, I suppose, and her fear. Do you have any other details?’
Maddie sighed and told Jane of her trip to Wiltshire and Jessie’s findings in London. Jane was quiet while Maddie talked, but burst into speech as soon as the story was finished.
‘But that’s incredible! How could my mother have an illegitimate baby? And when she was already married too. I just can’t believe it.’
‘I know it seems strange, but unless there’s another Ruth Kettering somewhere, it must be true. It’s quite an unusual name.’
‘Yes, it is. No, I’m sure you’re right. That must be why my father called her a “sinner”. I thought it was just because she had lied about her friend. But my mother ... good grief, she must have had a secret lover.’ Jane shook her head and blinked. ‘I’m sorry, this is quite a shock. I guess it must be for you too.’ Her eyes were huge in her pale face, but she didn’t look unhappy. Suddenly she giggled. ‘But it’s wonderful too in a way, you know. If we’re really sisters I mean. I’ve always wanted one.’
Maddie smiled back. ‘Me too. A nice one, that is, not like Olivia.’ She explained to Jane about her adopted sister.
‘I promise I would never behave like that,’ Jane said. ‘I’d love to share things with you. But what should we do now? Do you want me to confront my mother?’
‘I don’t know. If only we could find out what happened all those years ago without asking her. I don’t want to upset her again. Even the sight of me made her cry, although how she recognised me after twenty-four years I don’t understand. Unless she’s seen me after the adoption? Do you think that’s possible?’
‘Maybe, I suppose she could have done secretly. Hmm, let me think. There must be some other people who were around at the time. Perhaps one of them would be willing to gossip. Leave it with me, I’ll see what I can do. I visit a lot of old ladies on Father’s behalf and they do tend to talk a lot. Some of them are pretty senile, but they can remember stuff that happened years ago quite clearly, even though they have no idea what they had for breakfast.’
‘Sounds promising.’
‘Okay, I’ll call you if I hear anything. If not, I’d still like to see you again.’ Jane seemed almost shy suddenly, and on impulse Maddie leaned over and hugged her.
‘I’d like to see you too and I really hope you are my sister.’ She felt a lump in her throat and resolutely swallowed it down.
Jane nodded mutely. Her eyes had become suspiciously misty as well, and Maddie concentrated on the task of driving back to town. Perhaps she wasn’t alone in the world after all. It was a comforting thought.
Although Jane called almost every day after that, she had nothing to report, but told Maddie she was still working on the old ladies.
‘I think we’ll have to be patient,’ she said. ‘Their memories are very random, but I’ll keep trying and will let you know as soon as I find anything out.’
‘And what about your mum and dad – they haven’t mentioned it again?’
‘No, although come to think of it, Father has been frowning even more than usual and glaring at my mother. That makes her very nervous. And the other day when I came out of the house, he was standing outside the church, whispering something to the organist, Mr Morris. They both stopped talking when they caught sight of me, looking kind of suspicious, if you know what I mean?’
‘The organist?’
‘Yes, he’s my father’s right-hand man, always ready to follow his lead. A horrid little man, I can’t stand him. Brrr.’
Maddie could almost hear Jane shuddering. ‘That bad?’
‘Yes. I wonder what they were cooking up between them. Probably some punishment for a member of the congregation who’s strayed. They’ve done that before and I’m pretty sure I heard the words “keep watching” and “accident”. As I told you, my Father is very strict and he considers his flock as family, with him as their kind of father or guardian. Some of them have had, uhm, “accidents” in the past.’
‘And they accept that?’
‘Yes, well, mostly. Anyway, got to go. I’ll be in touch.’
Jane hung up abruptly and Maddie got the feeling she was embarrassed by her father’s bullying tendencies but was too scared to do anything about it. If only there was some way I could help her … But Maddie didn’t have the right to interfere, at least not until they had more information. And that, it seemed, would take time.
Maddie tried to keep occupied while waiting for Jane’s calls and Kayla’s return. She told herself she was on holiday and had to enjoy it to the full, so that was what she did.
She was just on her way out with a bag full of painting materials when the doorbell rang just after lunch a few days later. As there was no one else about, she opened the front door, and was startled to find a rather unkempt individual outside. He had a shock of hair standing on end which looked as if it hadn’t been combed in years, and he was wearing a dirty T-shirt and a pair of extremely faded blue jeans. He was also chewing gum as if it was his main aim in life and looked from side to side furtively. Maddie blinked.
‘Can I help you?’
‘Mm-hmm, I’ve come to see Alex,’ the man said, shoving his hands into his pockets defensively and gazing over her shoulder, his eyes opened wide in awe at the sight of the grand hall. Despite the fact that he was a very large man, Maddie had the distinct impression he wanted to turn tail and run when he saw the opulence inside.
‘Oh, I see. Er, well, come in. I’ll get him for you.’
‘No need, I’m here.’ Alex had come up behind her unnoticed and he stretched out a hand in
welcome towards the stranger. ‘Foster, nice to see you. So you decided to give it a try, eh?’ He smiled at the big man.
‘Yeah.’ The man nodded. ‘Nothing to lose by trying, like you said. You haven’t changed your mind?’
‘No, not at all. And I promise you won’t regret it.’ Alex turned to Maddie, who had watched this exchange with mounting curiosity. ‘Maddie, this is Foster, one of my criminal friends. No doubt you won’t want to know him either, so we’ll let you be on your way.’
Maddie’s mouth fell open, then she snapped it shut in anger. ‘Now look here, Alex, I never ―’
‘Later, Maddie. I have to talk to Foster.’ And without another glance, Alex led his friend into the office and shut the door. Maddie was left fuming.
‘Ohh, annoying man!’ She picked up her bag and stomped to the front door, slamming it shut behind her as she left the house. There was nothing for it, she would have to have a talk with him, otherwise there was no way they could keep up a friendly façade in front of Wes and Kayla when they returned. She kicked a rock out of her way and regretted it instantly as it hurt her toe. ‘Damn it all,’ she muttered. Why did men always have to be so complicated?
The breathtaking views along the coast soon soothed her ruffled feathers slightly, however, and she determined to put Alex out of her mind for a while. The urge to paint had been strong today and she wouldn’t let anything interfere with it. Since arriving at Marcombe Hall, she had sketched continuously, and today she felt ready to tackle watercolour painting. She’d been considered quite good at it when she was at school, but had only ever pursued it as a hobby.
‘There’s no future in painting, sweetheart,’ her father had told her. ‘You get yourself a real job and then you can dabble to your heart’s content in your spare time, eh?’
It had seemed like sensible advice and Maddie had followed it without hesitation. Now she wasn’t so sure she’d done the right thing. Perhaps with further training she could have made a career out of painting, even if she would never attain the heights of a Picasso or Monet. It would have been infinitely more rewarding than slaving over a keyboard eight hours a day, at the beck and call of a string of different bosses, she was sure.
The Soft Whisper of Dreams Page 9