The Soft Whisper of Dreams

by Christina Courtenay

  Soon after she heard Alex join her in this heaven on earth and when their heartbeats eventually returned to normal she fell asleep, cradled in his arms, utterly exhausted, both mentally and physically.

  Sometime during the night Maddie woke up and stumbled to her feet. There was sufficient light from the moon for her to be able to gather up her articles of clothing and, this done, she left the room, closing the door softly behind her.

  Alex was awake, but had feigned sleep in order to see what she would do. As he heard the soft click of the door, however, he turned over and buried his face in his arms.

  ‘Oh hell, what have I done?’

  She obviously regretted what had happened between them to such an extent she couldn’t even face waking up next to him in the morning. He knew he shouldn’t have taken advantage of her vulnerable state when she returned from the hospital, but she’d just been too tempting. When she nestled close to him he’d lost all reason; rational thought fled out the window. The smell of her was intoxicating and he had been drunk – drunk with love and wanting. The love-making had been inevitable.

  Still, he knew he shouldn’t have done it. Will she hate me now? Or will she act as if nothing happened? He groaned.

  ‘Damn it all.’ He wanted her again, now and for always, but she had to want it too. He’d wait and see how she reacted in the morning.

  ‘Auntie Maddie, I can’t believe you’re still in bed! Do you ever do anything except sleep?’

  The sound of Nell’s voice woke Maddie from a sleep so heavy she felt drugged. With great reluctance her eyelids parted and she squinted at the little girl.

  ‘Nell? Are you back already?’

  ‘What do you mean already? You knew we were coming today, Kayla told you.’ Nell was sitting on the end of Maddie’s bed, bouncing up and down to release her pent-up energy.

  Maddie ran a hand through her hair and tried to swallow. Her mind didn’t seem to work properly and she couldn’t quite grasp Nell’s words. She attempted to sit up.

  ‘Auntie Maddie, you haven’t got your PJs on!’ Nell squealed gleefully and Maddie pulled up the sheet in embarrassment. She’d completely forgotten her naked state.

  ‘Er, it was, um, a bit hot last night,’ she mumbled.

  ‘Kayla’s downstairs, but she’ll be up to see you soon I think so you’d better get dressed.’ Nell giggled.

  ‘Right. Okay. I’ll, er ... I guess I’ll have a shower then. You run along.’

  ‘Oh, Auntie Maddie, where’s Annie?’

  ‘Annie?’ The memories came flooding back into Maddie’s fuzzy brain and her eyes opened fully at last. ‘Annie! I’m afraid she’s in hospital. We had a little accident yesterday, but she’ll be fine. I think she might come home today. You’d better tell Kayla she has to cook breakfast herself.’

  ‘Breakfast? It’s nearly lunchtime.’ With another giggle Nell skipped out of the room.

  Despite a long, hot shower, Maddie still felt completely drained when, half an hour later, she made her way downstairs. She found everyone in the kitchen, including Alex, whose gaze she couldn’t quite meet. A warm sensation shot through her at the thought of what they’d done the night before, but she pulled in a deep breath to calm herself. No doubt he wouldn’t expect her to make a big deal out of it. Perhaps it hadn’t meant anything to him? He hadn’t actually said he loved her or anything, but then they hadn’t really talked much at all … She took a deep breath. Probably best to just play it cool for now.

  ‘Good morning.’ Kayla jumped up to greet her with a hug and Maddie turned to make herself a cup of tea to hide the blush which she knew was creeping up on her. How she wished she could stop that childish habit, but it seemed impossible, especially around Alex.

  She sat down at the table and listened to the general conversation which naturally centred on all that had been happening at Marcombe in Wes and Kayla’s absence.

  ‘I can’t believe it,’ Kayla was saying. ‘We only go away for two weeks, and this quiet backwater goes crazy. Nothing ever happens here normally.’

  ‘Believe me, we would have preferred to live without such excitement,’ Alex put in. ‘I’m sure Maddie agrees with me.’ He looked across the table at her.

  ‘Definitely.’ She nodded for emphasis. ‘I’m totally shattered by everything that’s happened. I think I need a holiday now. Oh, wait a minute, I am on holiday, right?’

  The others laughed, but soon grew serious.

  ‘What are the police doing about it?’ Wes asked.

  Maddie told him about the arrangements she’d made with the officer the day before and he nodded. ‘I don’t think I’ll be going out much, though. Somehow I feel safer in here,’ she added.

  ‘Yes. You mustn’t go anywhere alone and we’ll make sure the cars are checked regularly.’

  ‘My friend Foster’s already taken care of that,’ Alex said. ‘He’s, um, quite good at that sort of thing.’

  ‘Foster? Who’s he?’ Kayla looked confused.

  ‘Oh, he’s a friend who’s working for me. I’ll introduce you later.’ Alex glanced at Maddie as if he wondered whether she would tell the others that Foster was an ex-criminal, but she remained silent. Foster seemed a nice enough guy to her and she wouldn’t judge him on what he had done previously, whatever Alex thought. He’d certainly been very helpful the day before and it had been a wonderful coincidence that he’d happened to be coming down the road at the same time. No, Maddie wouldn’t criticise Foster.

  She suddenly felt extremely weary. ‘I’m sorry, but I think I’ll go back to bed if you don’t mind. I’m still a bit shaken up from yesterday and the day before.’

  ‘Of course, do that. I’ll bring you a cup of tea a bit later on and we can have a chat,’ Kayla said. Maddie thanked her and headed for the stairs. It was all too much. She needed time on her own.

  By the time her friend arrived with the promised cup of tea, Maddie had recovered enough to retell her story to Kayla, who couldn’t contain her excitement.

  ‘Oh Maddie, that’s brilliant. So you found your mother at last. I’m so pleased for you.’ She hugged her. ‘Mrs Blake-Jones, who would’ve believed it?’

  ‘Yes. “In the deepest waters ...” and all that. But I really could have done without the rest.’

  ‘The Reverend, you mean?’ Maddie nodded. ‘Yes. I suppose it’s some sort of insane jealousy. Some men simply can’t accept that their wife comes to love someone else. It’s very sad really, especially for your mother. What a life she’s had.’

  ‘Absolutely. We didn’t have much time to talk about it and she was too exhausted anyway, but she promised she’d tell me the whole story next time we meet.’

  ‘Poor woman. Well, she’s safe now hopefully and your sister too. How wonderful to find a sister as well.’

  ‘Yes, I really like Jane. She’s exactly the way I would imagine a sister should be, not like that spiteful cat Olivia. I forgot to tell you, but would you believe, Olivia tried to get me to give back some of the stuff I took from our parents’ house? Unreal.’

  ‘I suppose she suffered from jealousy too. Some siblings want their mothers all to themselves and take out their aggressions in different ways. I try to be fair with my children, but it’s very difficult to give them all attention at once. And I have to try extra hard to include Nell so she doesn’t feel as if I treat her differently to my own two.’

  ‘You’re right. I’m sure that’s why Olivia acted the way she did, but you would have thought she’d grow out of it.’ Maddie shook her head. She didn’t want to think about Olivia, the wound was still too raw.

  ‘No one stopped her so she just continued. It’s really up to the parents to do something about it, you know, and your adopted mother sounds as if she was too nice.’

  ‘She was. I’ll always be grateful for her love and for treating me like a true daughter. She did her best.’

  ‘What will you do now, Maddie? Do you want to go back to London?’

  ‘No, I think I need to stay he
re until all this has been resolved one way or another. At least here I have protection now and sooner or later Blake-Jones must be caught. Then I’ll be able to breathe more easily.’

  ‘Good. I’m glad you’re staying.’

  ‘Thanks, Kayla. Thanks for everything.’ Maddie squeezed her friend’s hand. It was good to have her back.

  Chapter Seventeen

  ‘Maddie, can we talk for a minute?’ Alex had cornered her after dinner under the pretext of helping her to carry dishes to the kitchen.

  ‘There’s nothing to talk about, Alex.’ Maddie tried for a nonchalant tone and thought she succeeded fairly well. He hadn’t so much as looked at her all day, so she’d concluded he would prefer to forget their encounter of the night before. Although perhaps he was worried she’d tell Kayla and Wes?

  ‘Really?’ He sounded angry and she couldn’t understand why. He should be happy she wasn’t making a fuss. Most men would be.

  ‘Yes, don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone if you don’t. Let’s just forget the whole thing. I already have.’ She actually thought she heard him grind his teeth and turned to stare at him. He looked like a thundercloud and it made her angry. He had no right to look like that. ‘What’s the matter? You got what you wanted, isn’t that enough?’

  ‘Is that what you think? That all I wanted was one night of ... damn it all, Maddie! I want more than that.’

  ‘What, you think I’m going to fall into your arms every night? Well, think again, mister. I may have been tired enough to give in to you yesterday, but it won’t happen again. I don’t do one-night stands, and definitely no repeats. Understand?’ And she marched out of the kitchen, head held high. She wouldn’t cry in front of him again. Under no circumstances. In fact, she was done with crying altogether.

  ‘He’s not going to break my heart,’ she vowed to herself. Let him go and break someone else’s. She had enough to contend with without adding that to the list.

  Maddie successfully avoided Alex for the next two days. She only spoke to him if it was absolutely necessary and he spent most of the day overseeing the work on his holiday cottages. She never ventured further from the house than into the garden. A policeman sat patiently nearby as she passed the time by painting flowers and trees, or by playing with the children, and slowly her fears diminished. There was no news about Blake-Jones, but she reasoned that they must surely catch him soon. He couldn’t stay hidden forever.

  On the morning of the third day Maddie was having breakfast in the kitchen when Alex came in, looking grimly determined. Kayla, who was doing the dishes, smiled at him and said, ‘Good morning.’

  ‘Morning. I’m taking Maddie out for a drive as soon as she’s finished,’ he announced, and Maddie choked on a piece of toast. Kayla came over to thump her on the back, and looked from one to the other.

  ‘Are you?’ she asked mildly.

  ‘Yes. She needs to get out a bit, she’s been cooped up in the house for days now. It can’t be good for her.’

  ‘Excuse me.’ Maddie managed to control her coughing at last. ‘But maybe I don’t want to go for a drive.’ She looked daggers at Alex and added mentally, ‘especially not with you.’ She could see that he read her message, but he ignored it.

  ‘You don’t have a choice in the matter. Wes agrees it would be a good idea. Don’t you think so too, Kayla?’

  Put on the spot like that, Kayla faltered, torn between loyalty to her friend, who was obviously not willing to go, and good sense which must have agreed with Alex. ‘Well, yes, I suppose so, but ...’

  ‘There. You see?’ He turned to Maddie. ‘I’ll meet you outside when you’re done.’ And he turned on his heel and left the two women staring after him.

  ‘Well. What was all that about?’ Kayla turned suspicious eyes on Maddie. ‘Am I missing something here?’

  Maddie felt her cheeks heat up and cursed inwardly. ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’

  ‘Well, he obviously does. I think you’d better go for a drive and have it out with him. Alex is nothing if not determined.’

  Maddie sighed. ‘Oh, okay then. If I must. Really, there’s nothing to talk about though.’ She stomped off to change her clothes and heard Kayla chuckle as she left. That only made her even more furious.

  ‘So where are we going?’ Maddie sat stiffly upright, with her arms folded across her chest as if he was going to jump her or something. Alex sighed inwardly. This was going to be awkward. She stared straight ahead of her, obviously cross at being out-manouevred.

  ‘Just for a drive along the coast.’ Alex tried to sound calm and he saw Maddie twitch, as if she had to try hard to resist the impulse to glance at him. Well, that’s a good sign, isn’t it?

  Alex steered the car along the tiny winding lanes, keeping as close to the sea as possible. When fifteen minutes passed and he still hadn’t stopped, Maddie became visibly impatient, squirming in her seat and sighing.

  ‘Aren’t you going to stop soon?’ she asked, frowning.

  ‘Nope.’

  ‘What do you mean “nope”? Maybe I’ve got better things to do than going for a drive with you.’

  Alex gave her a small smile. ‘What, painting flowers? No, we need to talk.’

  ‘Fine, but we don’t have to go sightseeing just to have an argument.’ She turned to glare at him, then looked away again when he raised his eyebrows at her, still smiling.

  ‘Just relax. We’ll go and have lunch at this really nice little restaurant I know of and then perhaps you’ll be in a better mood.’

  ‘Better mood for what?’ she bristled.

  ‘You’ll see.’ He smiled again, an enigmatic, infuriating sort of smile, he knew, and Maddie gave it up. She seemed to realise he wasn’t going to tell her anything else, so she would have to be patient.

  Alex concentrated on the road. I’ve got to get this right. Mentally, he began to prepare what he was going to say.

  Maddie stared out the window at the passing scenery which, despite its incredible wild beauty, hardly registered with her at all. Her mind was elsewhere. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Alex’s capable hands and her heartbeat increased a notch as she remembered what those hands could do to her. She glanced at his profile, then realised immediately that this was a mistake. She didn’t need to be reminded of how gorgeous he was, how utterly irresistible. What did he want to talk to her about? Was he hoping to seduce her again? She was afraid she’d have great trouble resisting.

  The problem was, it was so much like last time. She’d felt this way with David – although perhaps not quite as strongly even if it had seemed like it then – and he’d turned out to be a complete bastard. Did she really want to put herself through that kind of pain and humiliation again? But maybe Alex was different? A little voice inside her said she should at least give him a chance and she was torn.

  The little car sped along, expertly guided by Alex, and some time later they drove through a small fishing village nestling close to the sea. Maddie watched the houses and people they passed, idly noticing a detail here and there. On the outskirts of the village, however, she sat bolt upright and gasped.

  ‘Alex,’ she shouted, ‘stop the car!’

  He stepped on the brakes and they stopped with screeching tyres by the side of the road.

  ‘What the hell? What’s the matter? Are you going to be sick?’ Alex looked perplexed, but Maddie ignored him and pushed open the door. Without explanation, she dashed off down the road. Vaguely she heard Alex curse, then slam his own door shut. His footsteps could be heard crunching behind her on the gravel as she came to a skidding halt and he managed to stop next to her, grabbing her from behind. ‘Maddie, for God’s sake, what’s going on?’

  ‘It’s that house.’ She pointed to a property on the other side of the road.

  ‘What’s so special about a house?’

  ‘It’s the house from my dream. Remember I told you about it? Look! See those pointed windows and all the climbing plants? It’s exactly like the house
I dream about all the time.’ On the gate was a sign bearing the name ‘Wisteria Lodge’, which seemed an apt choice in the circumstances.

  Alex shook his head and rubbed his forehead. ‘Maddie, there could be any number of houses that fit that description. Why should it be this particular one?’

  ‘I don’t know, but I can feel it in here.’ She tapped her chest. ‘Oh, please, can we go round the back? I have to see the garden.’

  ‘Maddie, I don’t think ―’

  ‘Please, Alex? Please? I promise I won’t say another word after that and you can drive me wherever you want,’ she pleaded with him.

  He sighed. ‘All right, but if we’re caught trespassing you’re on your own.’

  ‘Thank you, Alex. Thank you so much. Now come on.’

  In her excitement, she grabbed his hand, twining her fingers with his, and this apparently mollified him because he followed her silently across the road. There was a field to one side of the house, and they climbed over the fence and made their way towards the back, keeping an eye out for any bulls or other surprises. A huge hedge surrounded the garden on one side, and it wasn’t until they reached the end of this that they could see in across a low fence. Maddie stopped dead.

  ‘Oh, my God,’ she whispered and squeezed Alex’s hand so tight he winced.

  ‘Is this really it? You’re sure?’ He sounded surprised.

  ‘Yes. See the swing? It’s my swing! And all the roses? Exactly the same, just a bit more wild.’ She drew in a deep breath. ‘I must have been here once. Oh, Alex ...’ Instinctively she turned to bury her face in his chest and his arms closed around her. He held her in a steadying grip, offering support without any kissing this time, and eventually her breathing calmed down and her heartbeat returned to something approximating normal.