by E. L. Todd
I’d give anything to know what he was thinking.
I wished he would come inside. It was a disconcerting feeling. I wanted him to come even though I wanted him to stay away. If he came to me, I would act like I didn’t want to see him even if I really did. My emotions were complicated and undecipherable.
Slade spotted the box of his belongings on my doorstep. He walked over then examined it. But he didn’t pick it up.
I heard the rustling of the lock of my front door. Then it creaked as it opened. I moved back to my bed, pretending I hadn’t been watching him, pretending I didn’t care.
His footsteps were heard in the living room. Then I heard the sound of something heavy hitting the coffee table. It was probably his box of stuff. Then footsteps came down the hallway, thudding and becoming louder.
My heart was beating so fast I thought it would break.
He opened my door then stared at me.
I didn’t bother pretending I was asleep. I sat up and looked at him.
He stared, his features blank and his eyes unreadable. It was dark without the lights on, and I could barely distinguish his face.
He came inside then moved to the edge of my bed.
“What do you want?” I whispered.
He stared at my dresser, so still it was like he hadn’t heard me.
“I asked you a question.” My hardness came back, feeling all the anger from earlier.
“Yeah, I heard you,” he snarled.
“Then don’t waste my time.” I was being so cold, unable to control my words.
“Waste time?” he asked with a cold laugh. “God, you wasted an entire night.”
The rage came back. “Give me my key and get the hell out. And don’t come back.”
“Can you stop being a bitch for even a second?”
I raised my arm to slap him but he caught it.
He gave me a merciless stare then gripped my leg. He yanked me down, pulling me toward him. Fury shined in his eyes and I thought he might hurt me. He clearly wanted to. His hands lifted my t-shirt then he ripped off my underwear, tearing it into pieces. His jeans were lowered until his cock was out then he slipped it inside before I could stop him.
I gasped loudly then dug my nails into his forearms.
He rocked into me hard, grunting and moaning while he did.
My anger suddenly channeled into something else. Aggression and need overcame me. I gripped his shoulders and used mine to move him into me, fucking him harder than he was fucking me.
“I hate you,” he said between thrusts. “You drive me crazy.”
“I hate you,” I snapped, breathing hard.
He pressed his head to mine when his thrusts started to slow and become deliberate and purposeful. His hand fisted into my hair and he kissed me while he moved, touching our bodies together in a binding way.
His slow movements accompanied with his kiss made me come undone. My legs tightened around his waist as my body felt the pleasure he gave me. I moaned his name over and over again while I enjoyed every second of it. Just as I was finishing, he released.
He made his final thrusts, adding a quiet moan as he depleted himself inside me.
I lay back on the bed, feeling exhausted from the way we took each other so savagely.
Slade pulled his pants back up and buttoned them. Since my underwear was in shreds, I had nothing to pull on. Without saying a word, he walked out of my house and locked it behind him.
I went to the window and watched him. He didn’t take the box with him and he didn’t leave his key.
What did that mean?
Chapter Two
Slade
I was pissed at Trinity. I wanted to wrap my large hands around her throat and squeeze.
Hard.
She drove me absolutely crazy. Everything between us was going great, and then Stacy had to come over and invite me to her place. The fact I already fucked her and told the details to Roland and Conrad didn’t help.
But Trinity had nothing to be jealous about. I didn’t even check out other girls anymore. And I wasn’t even flirting with Stacy. In fact, I told her about Trinity right in the beginning. Then we discussed the game.
Then Trinity had to be a drama queen about it.
Fucking annoying.
When I went to her place after the big fight, I wasn’t sure what I was doing. I’d never had a fight with a girl before and I wasn’t sure how to behave. I wanted to fix it but I didn’t want to cave either. And since our relationship started with sex, I figured that was the best way to repair the damage—at least some of it.
Then I left. I wasn’t going to sleep beside her and act like everything was okay.
Because it wasn’t.
“I’m here if you want to talk…” Cayson dribbled the ball then made the shot.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Skye told me you guys broke up.”
“No.” I grabbed the ball then ran past the free throw line. Then I made the shot.
“Are you sure…?”
“We aren’t broken up,” I snapped. “I don’t know what we are but we’re still together.”
“I’m not sure if Trinity agrees with that…”
“Well, she probably said that to Skye before I went to her house and fucked her last night.”
Cayson watched me dribble the ball. “Actually, she told her this morning.”
I dropped the ball. “What?”
He shrugged. “That’s what she said.”
“Well, we aren’t.”
He scratched the back of his head. “Maybe you should apologize…”
I glared at him. “You better not be taking her side!”
“I’m not…but if Skye was flirting with an ex I wouldn’t be too thrilled about it.”
“I wasn’t flirting with her!” I wanted to scream. “All we did was talk and Trinity made a big deal out of it. It’s like she doesn’t trust me, which she should.”
“Well, letting Stacy touch you didn’t help…”
“So, Trinity can hug other guys but some girl can’t touch my arm?” I asked incredulously. “Yeah…that makes total sense.”
Cayson shrugged, not having an argument against that.
“That’s what I thought.” I grabbed the ball and passed it to him, not wanting to play anymore. “She owes me an apology. I’m not going to let her boss me around. I’m faithful to her and give her whatever she wants. I don’t even care that she came over and claimed me. That was fucking hot. But she doesn’t have the right to get mad over something so stupid. If she wants to make it right, she needs to apologize to me. I’m not going to cave.”
“First of all, there’s no such thing as ‘caving’ in a relationship. You compromise and move on.”
“Well, she needs to make the first move.”
He sighed. “Don’t lose her over something stupid.”
“You should tell her that.”
***
A week passed and neither one of us made the first move. I avoided the library and places she would normally go. I assumed she did the same even though I wasn’t sure. Cayson stuck by my side but didn’t bring her up again. As the silence stretched, I wished Cayson would bring her up. But I still didn’t ask.
Every night, sleep evaded me. I couldn’t sleep without her. Being alone in my bed made sleep impossible. I tossed and turned all night, dreaming of her smell and her touch. Countless times I woke up in the middle of the night and checked my phone, imagining it ringing because she called or left a message.
She never did.
I was going crazy without her. I even considered apologizing just to end the feud. My stubbornness was waning with every passing day. Eventually, every hour was an ordeal. Did she miss me? Was she going crazy too? Could she sleep at night without my arms around her? Why hadn’t she just apologized?
One night, I didn’t even bother sleeping. I stayed on the couch and drank beer while I watched the crap on TV at the odd hour. My eyes ne
ver grew heavy even though I was exhausted. I hadn’t been this depressed in a long time, not since her accident.
My phone vibrated in my pocket.
Who would be texting me at this hour? Hopefully, it was Trinity. Anxious, I pulled out my phone and checked the message.
It was her. I’m horny. Are you?
It wasn’t an apology but at least she missed me. Always.
I’m outside your door.
She was? I turned off the TV and left my mess of empty beer bottles and trash on the table. I opened the door, relieved to see her face even though I didn’t show it.
Judging the scowl on her face, she was still mad. Without saying a word, she walked inside and headed to my bedroom.
I followed behind her then joined her in the darkness of my room. My sheets were unkempt, and judging the mess and disarrayed sheets, I’d been thrashing rather than sleeping.
She undressed herself, not looking at me.
I’ve had sex with strangers, but nothing was nearly as awkward as this.
When she was naked, she got on all fours, facing the opposite way.
I took off my clothes then came behind her. But I flipped her onto her back, forcing her to look at me. My lips found hers and I kissed her the way I wanted, telling her I loved her without actually saying it. I slid inside her because I was desperate for her. Then together, we started to move.
Her hands dug into my hair and she held onto me, clinging to me. She tried to hide how much she needed me, tried to pretend she was indifferent to me, but she couldn’t fool me.
“Baby, I love you.” It came out as a whisper, barely audible.
“I love you too.” She said it with the emotion she’d been hoarding all week.
“We aren’t broken up.” I kept moving inside her. “So stop telling people that.”
“Okay,” she said with a moan.
“And I’m here whenever you’re ready to apologize.”
She flinched for a moment but kept moving. “Me? I didn’t do anything wrong.”
I shouldn’t have said that last part. “Yes, you did. You got mad over something so stupid. If you trust me, watching me talk to some girl shouldn’t bother you.” I thrust into her like nothing was amiss.
She grabbed my arms and pushed me off. “Flirting with a girl you used to hump is never okay.”
“I wasn’t flirting with her!” I climbed back on top of her and held her down. “You can hug other guys and that’s okay?”
“I don’t hug anyone!” She tried to push me off but I wouldn’t let her.
“So, if I ever see you with anyone I have the right to get upset?” I demanded. “If that’s true, I’ll apologize.”
“If it was Reid you’d be pissed.”
“No, I wouldn’t.”
“What if I flirted with Reid?” she snapped.
“I really don’t want to talk about some guy you used to date while I’m trying to make love to you.”
“Make love?” she snapped. “That’s what you call this?”
“I’m certainly not fucking you. Now hold still.”
“How romantic,” she hissed.
“You’re the one who came here in the middle of the night to fuck. I tried to make it meaningful and romantic so we can just get back together already.”
“I thought we weren’t broken up?” she hissed.
“I thought the same until you kept telling everyone otherwise.”
“Well, you gave me an ultimatum.” She swatted me away. “Did you sleep with anyone this week?”
I suddenly went limp. And my anger increased by tenfold. I was so furious I couldn’t speak. I got out of bed and pulled my clothes on. “Get out of my apartment!”
She sat up and pulled the sheets over her chest. “What?”
“How dare you ask me that!” My eyes were wide and about to pop. “You really think I would sleep with some girl the second we broke up, even though we didn’t break up? I always thought I would be the one to struggle in this relationship and burn it to the ground, but you’re the one sabotaging it every chance you get. Grow the fuck up, Trinity.” I walked out and slammed my door. Then I headed to Cayson’s.
***
He answered the door, half asleep with messy hair. “Hmm?”
“Can I sleep on your couch?”
“Cool.”
He was clearly still asleep.
He walked away and headed to his bedroom, where Skye was sleeping alongside him.
I lay on the couch and stared at the ceiling. My phone started to vibrate, and when I looked at the screen, I saw Trinity’s name. I ignored her call and turned off my phone, knowing nothing good would come from answering it.
The next morning, I had breakfast with Cayson and Skye. Skye made breakfast and put it on the table. The smell of the food immediately reminded me of Trinity. She used to cook every morning.
Cayson sipped his coffee. “What happened now?”
“We hooked up but it turned into a fight.”
“What more could you fight about?” Cayson asked.
“She asked if I slept with anyone while we’ve been apart.” I shook my head. “She should have just slapped me across the face. It would have saved us both some time.”
Skye sat across from me. “She just said that out of anger. Give her a break.”
“No,” I snarled.
“Weren’t you the one who said you were going to hook up with some girl?” Skye pressed.
“Well, yeah…but I didn’t mean it,” I said.
“And I’m sure she didn’t mean what she said,” Skye said softly. “Just make up already. This fight has gone on long enough.”
“I’m not going to apologize unless she apologizes first and meets me half way. If we’re going to be together for a long time, she needs to understand I’m not going to sweep everything under the rug. I’m not you, Cayson.”
He bit into his toast. “Maybe you should be.”
“Come again?” I said.
“Skye has…done a few things. It’s not worth staying mad over. I’m far happier with her than without her, so is it really worth it?”
“I’m standing my ground,” I said firmly.
Cayson sighed. “You’re just going to drag this out…”
“Then she’ll learn her lesson.”
Skye studied my face. “I think they are both so hot-headed that their fights are different. They’ll figure it out on their own—in their own way.”
“You better not be on her side,” I said. “I know she’s your best friend and all, but she’s being a brat.”
“Actually, I’m not. I think she’s being immature.”
Did Skye just say that? “Really?”
She nodded. “But I understand her fear. She knows what kind of guy you used to be. But she should trust you since you’re together. Being paranoid and threatened is no way to have a relationship.”
“She knows from personal experience,” Cayson said with a smirk.
“Don’t gloat,” Skye said. “It’s not a good color on you.”
He rubbed her back. “Baby, I’m kidding.”
She buttered her toast and didn’t say anything.
“Well, she’ll come to me when she’s ready.” I downed my orange juice.
“Or you could just take the hit…” Cayson gave me a knowing look.
“No.”
***
I was depressed all over again, just wanting this fight to be over with. I missed reading in bed with her, listening to her quiet breaths while she slept, and I missed our relationship.
Being without her was torture.
I went to the bar alone because I had nothing else to do. Alcohol was my friend now. It attempted to replace everything Trinity gave me but did a lousy job. I sipped my brandy while I stared at the TV screen.
“The blonde is really hot.” The guy next to me was talking to his friend.
“Yeah.” The friend nodded. “She’s got a nice ass.”
I kept watchi
ng the TV.
“I’m going for it. Wish me luck.” He stood up and walked away.
Curious, I turned and looked. Across the room, he headed to the blonde at the table. On closer examination, I recognized her.
That was my blonde.
Trinity was with a friend she had a class with. It was Cindy or Carrie…something like that.
The guy reached the table and struck up a conversation with her. When Trinity laughed, I was pissed. I didn’t like seeing her respond to him warmly. I wanted her to tell him to fuck off and throw her drink in his face.
Not thinking, I marched over there, my arms swinging by my sides.
“Fuck. Off.” I stared down the guy, threatening to break his nose and every other bone in his body.
He immediately stepped back. “Sorry, I thought she was alone.”
“Well, she’s not,” I snapped. “Now go.”
He held up his hands and walked away.
Then I turned my fury onto her. “Who the hell was that?”
“I don’t know,” she snapped. “He just came over here. He barely introduced himself before you came over and acted like a total jerk.”
Cindy grabbed her drink and drifted away. “I’ll see you later, Trin…”
Trinity ignored her. “You didn’t need to act like that.”
“Well, you’re mine. I don’t want guys hitting on you.”
“Too bad,” she hissed. “It’s going to happen no matter what.”
“You could have told him to—” I stopped when I realized my mistake.
Trinity smiled in victory. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that last part?” She cupped her ear and leaned forward, waiting to listen to my upcoming words.
I shut my mouth and brooded in silence.
Trinity didn’t let up. “Were you going to say something, Slade? Come on, spit it out. Why didn’t I tell him what?”
I looked across the room, staring at nothing in particular.
“Why didn’t I—”
“Shut up.”
She closed her mouth and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Okay, I see your point…”
“You got jealous for no reason.”
Yeah, I did.
“You should trust me.” She was feeding the same lines back to me. “And grow up.”