Her voice, when she sang, was music; and her body, slender as a deer, was love. She did not care if the stab came from behind or in front, for she continued to dance. She was not worried by the thought of death. She was not a member of Hizb Allah nor of Hizb al-Shaitan, she was not a man nor a woman, and she was not a human being nor a devil, but she was all these things at once, and even if a part of her happened to fall off, the whole was always there to continue the dance.
The Trial
While they were trying to pull out her head from her body, they discovered that her roots were plunged deep into the soil, and they became as afraid as they were tired, so they hid their fear behind their exhaustion and sat down in the shade to protect their heads from the sun. They wiped the sweat on their faces with their handkerchiefs, and from under the cloth their faces were featureless, as though everything had been wiped away, leaving no trace of anything which could distinguish one face from the other, or distinguish one person from the other except a badge on the head or on the shoulder.
She managed to recognize the shoulder of the Chief of Security as he stood in front of her, wiping his face with his handkerchief. He said to her, ‘Have you got anything to say before we execute the order?’
‘What order?’ she asked.
‘The order willed by the Imam, the nation, and God,’ he said. She remained silent, not troubling to answer his question. ‘Do you not believe in the Imam, in the nation, and in God?’ he asked.
‘All three of them at once?’ she asked.
‘Yes,’ he said. He wrote something down in the book with a pen. Silence means that she is thinking, and thinking indicates a lack of faith. He wiped his face with his handkerchief again and asked, ‘Do you have anything else to say?’
‘I want to say that I am innocent and have committed no sin, and that I have one mother and she is the sun, and innumerable fathers whose faces and names I do not know. I also do not read the letters of words written on paper and I live in the House of Joy, but in my heart there is sadness. What is day for you is night for me, and what is happiness for you is sadness for me. Pleasure for you is pain to me, and victory for you means defeat to me. Your Paradise is my hell and your honour is my shame, whereas my shame is to you an honour. My reason is madness to you and my madness becomes reason for you. If my body dies my heart will live, but the last thing to die in me is my mind, for it can live on the barest minimum, and everything in me dies before my mind. Not one of you has ever possessed my mind. No one. And no matter how often you took my body my mind was always far away out of your reach, like the eye of the sun during the day, like the eye of the sky at night.’
She saw them standing in front of her in a long line, striking one palm against the other in great surprise. They said, ‘She is neither a sorceress nor is she mad.’ They said, ‘She is in complete control of her mind and what she says is reason itself.’ And her reason to them became more dangerous than any of her madness, and they decided to condemn her to death by a method that was more rapid than stoning to death so that she would not have the opportunity to say anything further. They also decreed that her trial should not be published in the newspapers and that her file should be definitely closed and buried deep down in the earth for ever.
Glossary
Bint Allah
Literally, ‘Daughter of God’.
Bank of Faith
Banks which call themselves Islamic Banks and engage in all kinds of speculations, maintaining that they do not pay interest but rather profit, since to pay interest is usually prohibited by Islam.
Fadl Allah
Literally, ‘God’s bounty’.
Gahglouls
Names given in folk tales to those who are failures or slothful.
Hizb Allah
Literally, ‘Party of God’.
Hizb al-Shaitan
Literally, ‘Party of Satan’.
Imam
Religious leader and ruler of the Muslims.
Imam Allah
Religious leader and ruler, representative of God on earth.
Kaaba
The black stone around which pilgrims to Mecca circle seven times.
Khawaga
Literally, ‘Foreigner’; a slightly derogatory term.
Law of Obedience
A ruling in Muslim jurisprudence which obliges a wife to return to her husband if she has left him without obtaining a divorce.
Marzouk
Meaning, ‘Fortunate creature of God’.
Mawlanah
He who is responsible for the people; the religious leader.
Milk brother
Children breast-fed by the same woman; foster-brother.
Namrud, Safrut, Awisra’a
Imaginary devils or evil spirits mentioned in incantations.
Nemat Allah
Literally, ‘Blessing or gift of God’.
Night of the Revelation
The night when the full moon appears at the end of the month of Thoul Higa, indicating the first day of the Big Feast.
Shari’a
Muslim jurisprudence, which allows amputation of hands and legs for theft.
Siti al-Haja
Literally, ‘My mistress who has done the pilgrimage to Mecca’. Used as a term of respect when speaking of or addressing a grandmother or an old woman with whom there is some intimacy.
Sourat
Literally, ‘Chapter’.
Tree of Thorns
The thorn tree from which twigs were taken to make a crown for Christ when he was crucified.
Vizir
Literally, ‘Cabinet minister’.
eISBN: 978-1-84659-139-6
First published by Methuen, 1988
First Telegram edition, 2009
This eBook edition published 2012
Copyright © Nawal El Saadawi, 1988 and 2012
Translation © Sherif Hetata, 1988 and 2012
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The Fall of the Imam Page 19