by Melody Grace
“Please,” I gasp again.
“I’m going to taste every inch of you,” Blake vows. He grips my thighs and slowly eases them apart, settling between them.
My stomach turns over.
Hooking his thumbs under the edge of my panties, Blake slowly pulls them down my legs and casts them aside.
Now I’m totally naked, bared to him.
I flush, self-conscious, but Blake just gazes at me reverently. “God, you’re so beautiful,” he breathes. “How did I not see it before now?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I whisper. “All that matters is right now.”
Here. Us. His hands on my body, and the heat that’s going to burn us both if he doesn’t make a move—and soon.
As if reading my mind, Blake suddenly leans down and licks up across me in a single, glorious stroke.
I cry out in pleasure.
“Goddamn, Zoey,” he growls, and then his mouth is on me again, licking over my clit and swirling in a hot, wet frenzy that drives me to the brink in seconds.
I gasp, overwhelmed with sensation. Blake’s fingertips dig into my hips, holding me in place as I buck against him. It’s too much, too good, I can’t take it, but he doesn’t let up, not for a moment. His tongue slides over me in an intimate caress, and God, now he’s dipping lower, inside me, into the wet, aching core that’s crying out to be filled.
I lose my mind, and God, it feels so good. Nothing but heat and pleasure and dark, glittering desire. Blake laps at me, pulling back, teasing me now with infinite soft licks around my clit and lips until I’m writhing, whimpering in his arms. But still, he grips me tightly, pinning me in place, totally at the mercy of his wicked tongue.
I turn my head and moan into a pillow, my whole body strung so tight I could shatter. But Blake stops.
“No,” he growls. “I want to hear you. I want to hear everything. Look at me, Zoey.”
My cheeks burn, but I force myself to lift my head.
He’s poised between my thighs, his broad shoulders rippling with tension; his eyes hot with desire. “That’s my girl,” he murmurs, sliding one hand up my thigh. “Don’t hide from this. Don’t you dare.”
And then, before I can look away, before I can brace myself at all, he slides two fingers deep inside me.
Oh. My. God.
I can’t bite back the moan that echoes, loud in the empty apartment. Blake smiles, and curls his fingers up inside me, rubbing high against my walls.
“Blake!” I groan, hurtling to the edge. “Oh God…!”
He bends his head, and then his mouth is on me again. Mouth and tongue and fingers sliding deeper, and holy shit this is incredible, more intense than anything in the world. He laps at me, licking my clit in a relentless rhythm as his fingers slide into me again, stretching me open, so tight, so fucking good.
I clutch the sheets for dear life, my body twisting tighter, the ache curling into a knot of pure liquid need. Blake swirls his tongue over my nub, again and again until the pleasure is too intense and I try to shrink away, but his strong hand pins me to the bed as the other slowly thrusts and God, I can’t take it anymore, it’s too much, too good. “Please, Blake, please—”
He closes his lips around my clit and sucks, and I come apart with a scream. Pleasure slams through me, waves so intense I fall into the bliss of it, as Blake slowly licks me through it, riding each wave until I’m breathless and dizzy in his arms.
13.
Blake
I wake up to the sound of a cellphone ringing. I roll over, groaning. It’s way too early to be awake: it’s still nearly dark outside and my call time for the movie isn’t until noon.
There’s a soft sigh, and then Zoey presses against me, her body warm and soft.
Suddenly, it all comes rushing back. The heat, the frenzy of passion. How goddamn amazing it felt to bring her to the edge, and feel her body break against me.
I carefully sit up. Zoey’s still sleeping beside me, oblivious. She lets out another breathy sound, wriggling under the covers. I gently brush a lock of hair back from her face, trying not to wake her.
She’s beautiful like this. Sure, the glamorous Zoey turns my head every time, gets my blood boiling and my body wound tight. But asleep, naked, there’s an innocence to her, a softness I haven’t seen in a long time. She sighs again, her lips curling into a smile. I wonder what she’s dreaming.
I hope it’s about me.
Shit.
I catch myself mid-thought. This is Zoey. I swore I’d keep her at arm’s length, but she pushed me to the edge—and I hurtled right over it, too caught up in the heat of her body and the sweet sin of her kisses to think twice. Now it’s morning and I’m watching her sleep, so fresh-faced and defenseless, it doesn’t feel so casual anymore.
What the hell have I done?
I quickly scramble out of bed and head to the en-suite bathroom. I turn on the shower and don’t even wait for it to warm up before I dunk my body under the icy jets, trying like hell to blast away the warm feeling cocooning my whole body.
Zoey. Naked. In my bed.
Gasping in pleasure. Moaning my name.
Damn.
I bend my head and let the cold water douse my lust away. But I know it’s not what we did that’s the problem, it’s what came after: holding her tightly and drifting off to sleep together, feeling like she belonged right there in my arms.
Last night, and every night to come.
A man could get used to feeling that way. Like I was safe. Loved.
Home.
But I know feeling that way is just a lie: a way to lull me into a false sense of security, right before the world gets yanked out from under me and everything falls apart. I swore I’d never believe it again, never think for one second that anything good could last.
Lying there with Zoey, I felt a peace like I haven’t known in years. Something deeper than the surface contentment I’ve been skating along with all this time. Something realer, something true.
So what the hell do I do now?
I shut off the water and towel off. I have no idea how to get myself out of this one. The girls I usually hook up with are quick to take the hint: I tell her I’ve got an early session at the gym and kiss her on the cheek on her way out the door.
I’ve never wanted to slide back under the covers and wrap myself around her warm, sleeping body. Lie there together, just talking and laughing as the sun rises outside the windows. But with Zoey still sleeping in the next room, it suddenly sounds like the best plan in the world.
And the worst, all rolled into one.
I fight to keep from striding out into that bedroom and diving straight into her arms. Remember the reasons you stayed away from her in the first place, my voice of reason demands.
Because she deserves more than you can give her. Because you’d only fuck this up and hurt her—and then there’d be no escape.
The thought puts out the fire the way a cold shower didn’t even come close. She’s already a part of my family; there would be no quick fade out, no ignoring her calls and avoiding her at parties. No, Zoey is a fixture in all our lives. She’ll be right there at the table come Christmas; out by the pool for the barbecue on the Fourth of July. Her parents haven’t given a crap about her in years, and I know that Tegan and me and Ash and Dex are as close to family as she’s got.
I can’t ruin that for her.
The distant sound of my cellphone comes. I quickly wrap the towel around my waist, wanting to shut it off before it wakes her, but when I step back into the bedroom, Zoey’s awake, tugging her dress from last night over her head.
She freezes, looking tousled and flushed. “Hey.” Her gaze drifts lower over my tiny towel then snaps away, blushing furiously, so fucking adorable I want to kiss her right now.
I hold back. Remember what you just decided, I order myself. Let her down easy.
“Hey.” I keep a safe distance away from her. “Was that my phone?”
“Yes. I let it go to voicema
il. I wasn’t sure…”
“No, that’s great. Thanks.”
Zoey finds the rest of her clothing while I go check my messages. It’s Josh, big surprise, calling from London.
“Big news, superstar. They’re holding a first screening of Judgement Day next week for all the top brass at the studio. Let’s get ready for the offers to roll in once they see you in action!”
I hang up. My big action movie, one step closer to release. I haven’t seen anything from the shoot, so I have no idea what’s in store. But everything’s on the line with this: the chance to make or break my whole career.
I hope I’m good. I need to be good.
“You hungry?” Zoey’s voice pulls me back. She’s hunting down the side of the bed for something. “There’s a great little breakfast spot nearby, we’ve got some time before we need to head back. I could kiss Dash for moving call time until noon,” she grins, finally pulling a slim gold chain loose. She tries to fasten it, but before I know what I’m doing, I cross the room and take it from her. I stand behind her and brush her hair aside, carefully fastening it around her neck.
“Thanks,” she murmurs.
I catch a breath of some scent, sweet and light that makes my head spin. Slowly, she turns so she’s facing me, and I can’t resist leaning in to capture her lips in a soft kiss.
Zoey sighs, melting against me. And for a moment, I’m caught in that vision of the morning in bed. Breakfast in a little cafe together, holding hands and kissing her anytime I choose.
And then what? Remember, getting close will only make this worse in the end. You can’t risk it, the stakes are too high.
I pull back. “We should really hit the road,” I say awkwardly. “I want to go over the script pages, and talk to Dash before we shoot.”
“Oh. Sure.” Disappointment floods Zoey’s face, and right away, I feel like a total ass. But then the frown is gone, and she’s all bright smiles again. “It’s probably for the best, I need to stop by the B&B before heading to work, and Kira is bound have a pile of stuff for me to do.”
“Another time,” I promise, despite myself, but Zoey doesn’t reply.
We go pick up her car from where she parked near the club, and we hit the freeway back to the coast. As Zoey drives, music playing low, I try to distract myself with useless emails and bullshit on my phone, but I can’t relax, not with my thoughts spinning like this.
Last night was a mistake.
Not because it wasn’t amazing—because it was. We were so in tune, so connected. It’s never been like that with anyone before, and if I let myself remember it for too long, I feel my resolve slip.
What would be the harm in trying? A voice whispers in my head. Be with her for real. Take that risk.
The thought is terrifying as hell. I wouldn’t know what to do, I’ve already fucked up this morning by blowing off her plans for brunch; when I think about how many ways I would disappoint her, all the boyfriend stuff I’ve never done…
Boyfriend.
It sounds too damn good to me.
I look over at Zoey. She’s not stressing like I am, she’s perfectly at ease humming along to the radio, happily focused on the road.
She glances over, catching me staring. “What?”
“Nothing.” I cover quickly. “You look…different.”
It’s true.
Zoey flushes. “That’s because you gave me like, five minutes to get myself together before we hit the road.”
“No, you always look beautiful. I don’t know…” I pause, trying to figure out this girl I thought I knew so well, and it turns out I don’t. Not even close. “Maybe I’m still getting used to the new you.”
“I’m still me,” she argues, grinning. “Just…with better fashion sense and a good conditioner, that’s all.”
I laugh. “It’s more than that.” I study her, until I can put it into words. “It’s like you finally got comfortable in your own skin. You seem so confident now.”
“I do?” she looks surprised. “I guess that old saying about faking it until you make it really did work out. You know, I was always envious of you for that,” she adds.
Now it’s my turn to be surprised. “How do you mean?”
Zoey bites her lip. “Just, the way you always seemed to know exactly who you are and what you wanted,” she explains. “I don’t know if you knew it, but I felt so invisible back then. Or, the center of attention for all the wrong reasons. But you… It seemed like other people’s opinions never mattered to you. You were just you.”
Her words sink in. I’m silent for a moment, trying to figure them out.
Is that how she sees me? Confident and self-assured? The truth is, I’m faking it just as much as anyone these days, playing the part for Dash and Josh and everybody back in LA. They want me to be the golden boy, their leading man, and sometimes it’s so easy to give them what they want that I forget where the act ends and the real me begins.
If anything is real anymore.
“That was a compliment,” Zoey adds, smiling.
“No, I was just thinking.” I shake my head. “I didn’t realize that was how you all saw me. And now what other people think of me matters more than ever,” I add, thinking of the screening coming up, and all the craziness still to come.
“The movie. Right.” Zoey shakes her head. “I don’t know how you do it, being the center of attention like that. All the cameras and people focused on you.” She grimaces.
I laugh. “That part’s fine, but there’s a whole lot of rejection too. You walk into an audition, and someone barely looks at you. They’re just like, ‘Next!’ And then agents and managers and publicists all wanting a piece of me too…” I trail off.
Damn, I know my head is all over the place this morning. She must think I’m a total mess.
But instead, Zoey gives me a mischievous smirk. “A piece of you, huh? Like this one?”
She grabs my hand and pretends to take a bite out of it. “Or maybe this one…” She drops a casual kiss on the inside of my wrist.
Heat surges through me.
“Possession is nine tenths of the law, right?” Zoey continues, twining her fingers through mine. “So they’re tough out of luck.”
She sounds so sure, so casual, like nothing about last night has affected her. I try to relax and play along.
I’ll set her straight back in town. There’s no point doing it now, with a whole trip ahead of us. Just for the journey, I’ll pretend this could be real. That she could be mine. I’ll give myself that much.
“We’ll have to update my resume,” I smile, squeezing her hand. “‘Available, one actor, minus his left hand.’”
She giggles. “I’m sure they can work around it. Doesn’t Tom Cruise insist on only being shot from one side?”
Her silly jokes break the ice. We chat easily for the rest of the drive; about her time in Paris, and my stories from the movie. I try to keep it casual and banish all the voices of doubt still spinning in my mind, savoring these last moments together, but too soon, she’s turning up the sandy beach road towards Dex’s place.
A tightness forms in my chest. Lead weight, dreading what’s to come.
“So…” she puts the car in park. “I guess I’ll see you on set today. Try not to let me distract you too much,” she adds with a smirk.
I brace myself. This is when I have to end this: give her that whole “we’re better as friends/it’s not you it’s me” brush-off. It’s the right thing to do, I know, but somehow everything in my body screams not to do it.
Zoey suddenly leans across and and kisses me, slow and sweet. She melts against me, her mouth easing open as our tongues find each other, savoring every moment.
Heat and lust and pure instinct take over until there’s no room for reason, no room for anything but her.
To hell with doing the right thing.
I pull back, trying to figure this out. A way to keep from moving too fast. A chance for her to have second thoughts. Because Lord k
nows if we dive straight in, I’ll never want to come up for air.
“Listen,” I start, “about being on set… Let’s just keep it quiet for now, OK?”
Zoey blinks. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know,” I try to explain. “It gets so high school sometimes, all the gossip. We don’t have to flaunt it.”
Maybe if I can keep this in a bubble, it will be contained. Controllable.
“Like a secret?” Zoey says slowly, still looking confused.
“Exactly, our sexy secret.” I try to charm her with a smile. “You don’t mind, right?”
“No, that sounds great,” Zoey smiles. “Who needs the attention?”
“I knew you’d understand.” I exhale in relief. “OK, now I really have to go. See you later!” I kiss her lightly, and then get out of the car, striding towards the house before I can take it back: kiss her so hard we’re both undone, march right into the town square and announce for everyone that this girl belongs to me now.
But I keep walking instead.
This will all be OK, I promise myself firmly. Zoey’s a cool girl, she’ll want to keep it casual. We’re just playing around, nobody’s making any promises or planning the rest of their lives. We can be light and fun, and not let this go too far.
So why does it feel like I’m a huge fucking liar?
14.
Zoey
“Quiet on the set!”
A week later, I brace myself as Dash’s yell echoes through the bedroom we’re using as a set. All eyes—and cameras—are focused on the bed in the corner: the sheets artfully rumpled, the light soft and romantic. Today, Blake and Lila are filming their big love scene together.
Naked.
OK, well maybe not naked. Lila has a skimpy slip on, and Blake is wearing a pair of briefs, but still. That doesn’t make it any less weird for me, watching the two of them together… His hands on her perfect body, her lips caressing his skin…
I knew the scene was coming, I read it in the script, but still, there’s a big difference between words on the page and watching it play out in front of me: a gorgeous, barely-dressed actress rolling around in bed with my boyfriend.