That evening, Cal picked up Min in his ancient Mercedes. She was sitting on the bottom step when he got there, dressed in a plain black dress that she’d pulled over her knees. She looked like a cranky nun.
“What are you doing down here?” he said when he got out of the car.
“You have to put up with my parents,” she said, standing up. “It didn’t seem fair to make you do those steps, too.”
“I don’t mind climbing as long as you’re at the top.” Cal looked down at her feet. She was wearing plain black flats, no toes showing at all. “Why the awful shoes?”
“They’re not awful,” Min said. “They’re classic. Like your car, which is very nice and yet somehow not what I’d pictured you in.”
“Graduation present.” Cal opened the door for her. “Never look a gift car in the mouth. Get in, Minnie, we do not want to be late.”
When he was in the driver’s seat, Min said, “For the MBA?”
“What?” Cal said as he started the car.
“The car. A graduation present for the MBA? I got a briefcase, so I’m trying to put things into perspective here.”
“High school,” Cal said and pulled out into the street. “High school,” Min said, nodding. “What did they get you for the MBA? A yacht?”
“A place in my dad’s firm.”
“But—”
“I declined the gift,” Cal said. “How’s Elvis?”
“Really healthy,” Min said, sounding mystified. “I took him to the vet and he says he’s in great condition. Just weird.”
“Like so much of my life lately,” Cal said. “Speaking of which, is there anything I should know about your family before I get there?”
“You don’t have to do this,” Min said.
“Minerva, I am going. Prep me for your parents, please.”
“There’s nothing, really,” Min said. “My mother is always polite, and my father is not talkative unless you hit a nerve. Don’t hit a nerve.”
“Right,” Cal said. “Could I have a list of nerves?”
“Insurance fraud, younger men who want his job, music after 1970, and sex with his daughters.”
“Sex with his daughters,” Cal said.
Min nodded. “My father will assume you’re trying to debauch me.”
“Your father is a keen judge of character,” Cal said. “How about your mother?”
“Well, normally, she’d be scoping you out for son-in-law potential. There would be a quiz by dessert.”
“Written or oral?”
“Oral.”
“Good. Oral I’m good at.” The silence stretched out until he said, “I didn’t mean that the way it came out.”
Min stared straight ahead. “Perfectly all right. There won’t be a quiz. My mother has other things on her mind at the moment.”
“Does she have any other issues I should know about?”
“Yes, but they’re all about me.”
Cal shook his head. “I don’t care. Give me that list, too.”
“Eating carbs, wearing white cotton underwear, not losing weight, failing to hold onto my ex-boyfriend whom she loved,” Min said. “I don’t think any of those are going to come up in your conversation with her.”
“My mother likes my ex, too,” Cal said. “I think it’s laziness. She just doesn’t want to learn a new name. Who else is going to be there?”
“My sister, Diana. You’re safe with her. She’s nuts right now because she’s getting married in a week, but she’s great just the same. If things get too awful, you can sit and look at Di. She’s beautiful.”
“Good to know,” Cal said. “Mom, Dad, Diana, you, me. Cozy group.”
“And Greg,” Min said, trying to keep her voice from going flat. “My sister’s fiancé.”
“Right. Greg of the faulty memory. How’s that going?”
“Something’s wrong,” Min said. “I don’t know what it is but he’s not helping. The thing is, he’s not a bad guy, except for dumping Wet which he had every right to do, and he adores Diana, so I can’t figure it out.” She looked over at Cal. “See what you think of him.”
“Me?” Cal said, surprised.
“You’re a good judge of character,” Min said. “Intuitive. Intuit Greg for me.”
“The chances of me figuring out what’s wrong over dinner are slim,” Cal said as Min’s cell phone rang.
When she pulled it out of her purse, he said, “A plain black cell phone. You lied to me that first night, Minnie.”
“Which you knew,” Min said, and answered the phone. “Hello. What?” She listened for a minute and then said, “Oh, for crying out loud.” She listened again and said, “Di, it’s Saturday evening. I don’t know where . . . Wait a minute.” She turned to Cal. “Greg promised to get the wine for dinner.”
“Let me guess,” Cal said.
“You wouldn’t have a bottle or two at your apartment, would you?” Min said.
“Emilio’s,” Cal said, and made a U-turn.
Min turned back to the phone. “Cal’s going to fix it.” There was a note of pride in the way she said it, and Cal grinned. Then she turned off her phone and said, “You are a prince.”
“Thank you,” Cal said. “Say something bitchy to me, will you? You’re confusing me.”
He stopped and got the wine, and when he was back in the car, Min looked at the labels on the bottles. “These were expensive, weren’t they?”
“Not really,” Cal said. “About forty bucks each.”
Min started to laugh. “Serves Greg right, the dumbass.”
Ten minutes later, Cal had followed Min’s directions and parked in front of a fairly large, fairly new house. Min said, “You know, you can still get out of this. Drop me off and I’ll tell—”
“Nope.” Cal opened his car door. “Stay there.”
“Stay where?” Min said, reaching for her door handle.
Cal came around the car and caught the door for as she opened it. “You cannot leap out of cars without assistance.” He caught her hand and pulled her to her feet as she got out, and she ended up closer to him than he’d planned, which was fine by him. “It makes me look weak and powerless when you get out without me,” he said, watching the breeze ruffle her curls.
“Yeah, weak and powerless,” she said. “I bet you get that a lot.” She detoured around him as he shut the car door, and he caught sight of someone vanishing from a window. “Well, the good news is, you just made points with my mother. She was scoping you out from the window.”
“Great,” Cal said, taking her elbow. “Now all we have to do is survive dinner.”
Min’s father met them in the hall, a lumbering man with a shock of blond hair and heavy white eyebrows who should have been hearty and welcoming but instead had the vaguely paranoid look of a sheepdog whose sheep were plotting against him.
“Dad, this is Calvin Morrisey,” Min said. “Cal, this is my father, George Dobbs.”
“Pleased to meet you, Calvin.” George’s gruff voice was firm as if to belie any indication that he wasn’t pleased, but his eyes telegraphed, What are you up to?
“Pleased to be here, sir,” Cal lied, and Min patted him on the back, which was more comforting than he could have imagined.
“You’re late,” George said to Min. “We’ve already had cocktails.”
“Sorry, sir,” Cal said, and Min said, “No, you’re not. It was my fault, Dad, we had to go back for something.”
“Well, come in now,” George said, and Min sighed and went into the dining room, and Cal followed and met Min’s dragon of a mother.
The house was a showplace, clearly done by a decorator, and Min’s mother, standing in her perfect living room, matched it: Both were designer creations with no warmth whatsoever. The house at least had some color, but Min’s mother was small, thin, dark-haired, dressed in black, and groomed to within an inch of her life, the exact opposite of Min. “This is my mother, Nanette,” Min said, practically chirping. “Mother, this is Calvi
n Morrisey,” and Nanette Dobbs said, “Welcome, Calvin,” in a voice that could have flash-frozen fish.
“Did I do something?” Cal whispered when she’d turned to speak to George.
“You frenched me in the park on a picnic table,” Min whispered back.
“How do they know that?” Cal said.
“Greg ratted us out,” Min said. “He also mentioned your hit-and-run past.”
“And I got him wine,” Cal said.
“And here he is,” Min said. She lifted her voice and said, “Greg! This is Cal Morrisey.”
Greg was young and smooth, clearly polished by prep schools and buffed in the gym until his surface gleamed. He smiled at Cal and then realized who he was shaking hands with. “Oh,” Greg said.
Cal waited for something more, but that was it. “Yep,” he said and leaned forward. “The wine is in the front seat of my car.”
Greg exhaled in relief. “Thanks, man,” he said, clasping Cal on the arm. “Be right back,” he said in a voice that was a fraction too loud. “Left the wine in the car.”
“And this is my sister, Diana,” Min said, her voice softening, and Cal looked up to see a younger, sweeter version of the dragon. Diana was slender, dark, and lovely, and clearly the princess in the family. She beamed when she saw Min, and welcomed Cal with more warmth than everyone else in the room put together, and asked about his baseball team.
“Nice kid,” he told Min when Diana had gone to find the amnesiac she was marrying.
“Kid?” Min said.
“Cute,” Cal said. “But she’s not you.”
“You’re not the first to have noticed,” Min said. “Listen, don’t let the ’rents get you down. They’re just . . .” Her voice faded away as she tried to think of something to call them.
“Fine,” Cal said, and then Nanette called Min away as Greg showed up with the wine.
When Min came back a few minutes later, all her curls were pulled back in combs, and they went in to dinner.
“What’s with the hair?” Cal said in her ear when they were seated.
“It’s not flattering to my round face when it’s left loose,” Min said. “I knew better.”
“I liked it,” Cal said, and Min said, “I did, too,” and then dinner started.
“So what is it you do for a living, Calvin?” George asked when the soup had been dispatched with small talk and the prime rib had been served.
“Training seminars,” Cal said, keeping a wary eye on Nanette, who had been staring at him throughout the soup course. He couldn’t call it a frown since her forehead wasn’t furrowed, but it was not warm.
“So you’re a teacher,” George said. “There much money in that?”
“Dad,” Min said.
“There’s enough,” Cal said, distracted because Min had discreetly begun to pat his back again. He was grateful to her for the support, but it felt way too good to be something he should be enjoying in front of her father.
“What firm are you with?” George said.
“Morrisey, Packard, Capa.” Cal smiled at Min’s mother. “This beef is excellent, Mrs. Dobbs.”
“Thank you.” Nanette Dobbs did not look appeased.
“Morrissey,” George said. “So you work for the old man. Not too hard getting that job, huh?”
“Uh, no,” Cal said. “I’m the old man. It’s my company.”
Min stopped patting and glared at George. “I wonder what the statistics are on the number of daughters who return home to visit after their guests are harassed by their fathers.”
“You inherited it?” George said.
“I started it,” Cal said.
“I’m guessing they’re pretty low,” Min said.
“But your old man bankrolled you,” George said.
“No, he didn’t,” Cal said. “He wanted me to go into his business, so I went outside the family for capital.”
“For crying out loud, Dad, that’s enough,” Min said, taking her hand away from Cal’s back. “Let’s talk about something else. I got a cat.”
“So it’s a start-up,” George said. “Thirty-three percent of start-ups fail in the first four years.”
“It’s sort of a mutant cat,” Min said.
“It was a start-up ten years ago,” Cal said to George. “It’s up.”
“It annoys all my friends,” Min said. “I’m thinking of calling it George.”
“Minerva,” Nanette said. “Not your loud voice.”
“Bread?” Min said, shoving the basket under Cal’s nose.
“Yes, thank you.” Cal took a roll and handed her the basket back. She took one, too, and her mother spoke again.
“Min.”
“Right,” Min said and put the roll back.
“So you own your own business,” George said, skepticism heavy in his voice.
“Yes.” Cal frowned down at Min. “Why can’t you have a roll?”
“I told you, I have this dress I have to fit into,” Min said. “It’s all right. I can eat bread again in July.”
“Min is Diana’s maid of honor next weekend,” Nanette said. “We don’t want her to get too big for the dress.”
“I’m already too big for the dress,” Min said.
“You should come,” Diana said to Cal, leaning across the table. She hadn’t touched the bread, the butter, or her beef, Cal noticed. Her water glass was getting quite a workout, though. “To the wedding. And the rehearsal dinner. Min needs a date.”
Before Cal could answer, George said, “Who are some of your clients?,” and Nanette said, “How long have you and Min been dating?,” and Min tugged on his sleeve. When he looked down at her, she said, “Do you have family?”
“Yes,” Cal said, trying to sound noncommittal about it.
“Are they this awful?” Min said.
“Minerva,” Nanette said, warning in her voice.
“Well, they do let me eat bread,” Cal said, keeping an eye on Nanette. “Other than that, pretty much.”
“I beg your pardon?” George said.
“Look, I don’t mind you grilling me about what I do for a living,” Cal said. “Your daughter’s brought me home and that has some significance. And I don’t mind your wife asking about my personal life for the same reason. But Min is an amazing woman, and so far during this meal, you’ve either ignored her or hassled her about some dumb dress. For the record, she is not too big for the dress. The dress is too small for her. She’s perfect.” Cal buttered a roll and passed it over to Min. “Eat.”
Min blinked at him and took the roll.
Cal looked past her to her mother. “I’ve never been married. I’ve never been engaged. My last relationship ended about two months ago. I met your daughter three weeks ago.” He turned back to Min’s father. “The business is in the black and has been for some time. I can give you references if you’d like to check. Should things between Min and me ever grow serious, I can support her.”
“Hey, I can support me,” Min said, still holding her roll.
“I know,” Cal said. “Your dad wants to know that I can. Eat.” Min bit into the roll, and he looked around the table. “Anything else anybody wants to know?”
Diana held up her hand.
“Yes?” Cal said.
“Are you Min’s date for the wedding?”
Min tried to swallow the bite she’d just taken.
“She hasn’t asked me.” Cal looked down at Min. “Want to go to your sister’s wedding with me?”
Min choked on her roll and he pounded her on the back.
“Of course she wants to go with you,” Nanette said, smiling for the first time. “We’d be delighted to have you. The rehearsal dinner, too.”
“Good,” Cal said, feeling progress had been made as Min gasped for air.
“This wine is excellent,” George said to him.
“Thank—uh, thanks to Greg,” Cal said. “Knows his wine.”
“Uh huh,” George said, looking at Greg, who smiled back at him feebly.
“You have a cat?” Nanette said to Min, and the evening rolled on while she harangued Min about cat diseases, and George asked questions about the seminar business, and Greg glowered, and Diana smiled, and Cal’s head pounded. He’d had worse evenings, but not many.
Then Min smiled up at him and said, “I’m sorry” so softly he almost missed it. He said, “For what? I’m having a great time,” and felt better about everything.
After dessert, which only the men ate, Min dragged Diana into the hall. “Are you out of your mind?” she whispered. “Why in the name of God did you ask that man to the wedding?”
“Why not?” Diana said. “You needed a date. He’s darling. I don’t see a problem.”
“That’s because you don’t know our history,” Min said.
“Well, at least you have a date now,” Diana said. “I think it was a pretty good idea.”
Min stabbed her finger at her. “Don’t do anything like that again. Ever. Ever.”
“Okay,” Diana said. “But you’ve still got a really hot date.”
Her really hot date came out in the hall, said a pleasant good-bye to her parents, walked her down the front steps, handed her into his car, got in the driver’s side, reached over and pulled the combs out of her hair.
“These are ugly, Minnie,” he said, and threw them out his car window into the street.
“I know,” she said, trying not to feel rescued. “Thank you.”
The next day, Min dressed very carefully for her dinner with the Morriseys, pulling out her plain black dress again, polishing her black flats, and trying to make her hair lie down. Things didn’t get better when Nanette called.
“Darling, your Calvin is lovely,” Nanette said.
“Thank you, Mother,” Min said, bracing herself for whatever was coming next.
“And Daddy checked his financials and he’s very solvent,” Nanette went on.
“He checked on a Saturday night?” Min said. “How?”
“You know your father,” Nanette said in a tone that said she wished she didn’t. “And your Calvin seems very taken with you. That was very sweet, the thing with the bread and butter. You won’t eat it again, of course, but still . . .”
“A man who will feed you is a good thing,” Min agreed.
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