by Nicole René
“You did mess up,” she said seriously. “But it was understandable. Namoriee is so young, Tyronian. You must be patient with her. I was in her shoes once, and I believe that she is struggling with the same thing I did.”
“Which is?” Tyronian asked.
“Falling in love with a man she should resent.” She smoothed back a loose tendril of his hair before cupping his cheek.
The move was so nurturing that it instantly made him feel like he was wrapped in a cocoon of love and that everything would be alright. Now more than ever he understood Xavier’s obsessive need to possess his wife and his unnatural love of her. Leawyn was like pure sunlight, warm and able to keep the dark at bay. She was the beauty who tamed the beast, and she was exactly what Xavier needed.
“Be patient with her, Tyronian, and never give up. She just needs time to accept that she’s just as in love with you as you are with her.” Tyronian stood and helped Leawyn up when she went to stand and escorted her to the door. Xavier would start to look for her soon, and he wouldn’t be happy to know that she’d left their hut. He opened the door, but before she could leave, he asked the question that plagued him.
“What made you fall in love with Xavier?” Leawyn tilted her head up at him questioningly.
“When did you stop resenting him?” he clarified. His brows rose in surprise at the bubbly laugh she let out in response.
“Don’t be daft, cousin! I still resent him, but now it’s for a different reason.” Leawyn grinned at him. “I hate the fact that he was right—he really does own me. He owns my thoughts, my body, and my heart. That bastard.”
As if summoned, they heard him.
“Leawyn!”
They turned, watching Xavier stomp towards them with an angry scowl on his face. “You shouldn’t be out of bed! I told you to stay in the hut.”
Leawyn winked at Tyronian before Xavier snatched her up. He watched his cousin, amused, as he started to drag her away, though Tyronian noticed he wasn’t as forceful as he usually was. “Calm yourself, Xavier. I was only visiting. He was upset.”
“I don’t care!” Xavier snapped. “You shouldn’t be up. Now I’m going to have to punish you for disobeying me.”
“Ohh, promise?” Leawyn teased. She squealed when Xavier growled down at her and threw her over his shoulder.
“Ow!” Leawyn laughed when he smacked her on the ass.
He smacked it again, harder. “Quiet, wench,” Xavier said, but Tyronian could hear the smile in his voice.
Leawyn rolled her eyes, a smile lighting up her face. She waved cheekily at Tyronian before Xavier crested the corner and carried her out of sight.
Tyronian chuckled as he closed his door. He had no doubt that Xavier would punish her. He smirked at the thought. He doubted that Leawyn would mind though.
Tyronian looked around his room and sighed. He didn’t want Namoriee to come back home to this mess.
If she comes back at all.
Tyronian frowned at the thought. No, they were married. He wouldn’t allow Namoriee to leave him, even if she could. Whether she liked it or not, she was stuck with him. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t strive for her forgiveness and trust again. Tyronian didn’t accept failure.
He needed her to come back to him because he was lost without her.
She didn’t come back that night, and it took everything Tyronian had not to go get her and drag her back. To force her to stay and listen to him, to believe that he loved her. But Leawyn was right, as she often was. He needed to give Namoriee time.
He needed to be patient.
It just about killed him. So, when night turned into morning, and morning turned into afternoon, and she still didn’t come back to him, he was about to lose it.
But just when he was about to go scouring the tribe for her, the door opened, and there she was. He faced her, taking in her disheveled state, her bloodshot eyes, and the heavy bags underneath them. Her appearance told him that she’d gotten just as much sleep as he had.
She looked miserable, but she was still the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
“Namoriee . . .” He winced at the sound of his voice. It sounded like he’d swallowed sand. “You came back.”
She nodded, turning to close the door behind her before she faced him again, taking a step in his direction.
“I was worried that . . .” He stopped, looking down, not wanting to admit it.
“You were worried that I wouldn’t come back,” she finished for him. Her eyes danced across his face, like she was reading every emotion that filtered through and made his expression change.
He only wished he could do the same.
“I almost didn’t,” she said.
He flinched. She didn’t add anything more, just continued to watch him. He was at a loss. He didn’t know what to do about this tension between them. For once, he didn’t know how to handle her. She wasn’t letting him in.
“What happened last night,” he started, searching for the right words. “I never meant to hurt you.” He made sure that he kept eye contact with her, wanting her to believe him, to feel the words deep inside of her.
“I’m sorry, my sweet. But you must know that I kept it a secret to protect you. No one knew the truth except for myself, Xavier, and Tristan. We agreed that it didn’t matter. You became an Izayges that day, and that hasn’t changed. It never will. What Samanthia told you was wrong.”
He got a reaction for that. It was minimal, but there. “Where you come from won’t affect my taking over the Siraces. I don’t know why she said that, but I’m guessing it’s because she was trying to break us apart.” He paused, trying to gauge her reactions, but her expression was carefully blank.
“Something she’s excelling at, it appears,” he said.
Her lips twitched. It could have been a smile, but wasn’t. He inhaled softly, trying to shake off the uneasy feeling her detached approach to their conversation was making him feel.
“When I pictured my future, it didn’t include you. It didn’t include a man who was so possessive that he would marry me to make sure that I did not go with another.”
The sound of her voice was shocking at first. It broke the weird silence between them, but then her words registered, and he instantly felt annoyed.
“How can you possibly doubt me still!” Tyronian exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration. “What do you want from me?” His shout was the echo of a man who was at the end of his wit.
“You want me to say I’m sorry, Namoriee? Well I am! I’m sorry. I’m sorry I messed up, Namoriee. You’re right, you deserved to know the truth about your origin, but I didn’t think it mattered because you’re an Izayges, blood or not. Just . . .” He trailed off, his voice desperate. “Tell me what to do to fix this.”
“I want you to admit that you don’t love me!” she snapped.
He was across the room in an instant. His hand gripped her arms with more force than he had ever used before, and he slung her so that her back was against the wall, making her flinch. He lowered his head menacingly.
“You ask the impossible,” he hissed before slamming his lips down onto hers. She gasped, and he used that to push his tongue inside her mouth.
He wasn’t gentle.
He was forceful, angry, and commanding.
He poured all his frustration, hurt, and anger into that kiss. He hurt her lips, the only physical part of her he was willing to abuse. As quickly as it started, it was over. Tyronian wrenched himself away from her and didn’t spare Namoriee another glance.
“Where are you going?” Namoriee asked bleakly. He paused, keeping his back to her.
“I would do anything for you, Namoriee. No matter what you believe, I do love you. But I can’t stay in this room with you a moment more.” His fist clenched when she let out a little strangled sound in response. Maybe he didn’t have the right to be feeling this way. He had hurt her, kept a secret that wasn’t his to begin with. She had a right to be angry with him.
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But from the moment they married, she had resisted him for no apparent reason other than the fact that he’d married her. Maybe it was because he had forced her affection when it wasn’t his right to demand it in the first place.
Perhaps he wasn’t as noble as he thought he was.
It was a bitter realization to have, and he knew only one way to rectify it.
“I’ll give you until the snow falls. If you truly believe that your life would be better off without me . . .” he exhaled shakily, “I’ll take over the Siraces, and you will never have to see me again.”
She stayed silent, and with the last bit of dignity he had, he walked out and left his heart at the door with the woman who owned it.
The next day, he was gone. And after a month, he stopped waiting for her to come to him.
She had made her choice, and it wasn’t him.
Namoriee was miserable.
It was clear as day to see, but for the life of her, Leawyn couldn’t understand why she was being so stubborn. Her friend hadn’t been the same since the man she refused to admit she loved had left. Namoriee put up a good front at first, sure. But it was so painfully obvious that she was falling apart inside.
Leawyn tried to be a good friend. She tried to be understanding. Tyronian had betrayed her trust, she got that. But come on. Enough is enough already!
“Get up,” Leawyn demanded, marching into her hut like she owned the place.
Which, technically she did, being the lady chief and all.
She threw a clean dress at Namoriee’s face when she sat up, groggy.
“Leawyn?” she mumbled, squinting at her. “Whaddya doing?”
“I’m tired of you moping around like the sad sap you are. You haven’t left this bed in days, and you stopped attending to your duties. You need to get up, take a bath, and then go to the Siraces tribe and beg for Tyronian’s forgiveness.”
“Beg for his forgiveness?” Namoriee scoffed, throwing the dress back at her. “I did nothing wrong! He was the one who lied to me my entire life! He was the one who forced me to marry him, knowing that I didn’t want to be married. He’s the one who slept with a whore when—”
“Oh, grow up, Namoriee!” Leawyn snapped, effectively silencing her. She’s had enough of her whining. “So you were arranged to marry Tyronian—so what! Lots of women are arranged to marry. So he fucked a whore—big deal! You weren’t married then, and we all know he could have made you marry him whenever he wanted. He was being honorable! You talk as if your life is over, as if being married to Tyronian was some great burden.”
Leawyn’s eyes were fiery, and Namoriee could do nothing but stare as she marched the remaining distance between them and yanked her up so that they were face to face.
“You’re lucky,” Leawyn hissed. “You think your life is hard? Huh?” She tightened her grip on her, her nails pricking her bronzed skin. “You think that it’s some great tribulation to be married to Tyronian? I was given to someone who was more monster than man. I have been beat, I have been kidnapped, and I have been branded. Did I feel sorry for myself at times? Yes. But I took my shit situation and turned it around because I refused to live the rest of my days in misery!”
Namoriee flinched at the level of Leawyn’s voice. Her breath shuddered out of her when Leawyn skewered her with a look. “You’re lucky that you got to marry a man who loves you. You’re lucky to have a man who treats you well,” Leawyn said, shaking her a bit with her anger.
“Maybe when you stop feeling sorry for yourself, you’ll see what’s right in front of you. What’s been in front of you this entire time. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll be brave for once in your damn life and go after what you want! Perhaps you’ll start to finally live for yourself instead of dying for others.”
With a scoff, Leawyn released her, turning on her heel like she couldn’t stand the sight of her. She paused, her hand hovered over the door handle and looking back at her, glaring.
“Or maybe not. You’ll probably continue to be the coward that everyone believes you are, but I guarantee that if you don’t go now, you’ll spend the rest of your days miserable, looking back at the time when you could have taken the chance to be happy and didn’t.”
The door slammed behind her. She wouldn’t be surprised if she splintered the wood from the force. She had only taken a few steps before her smile broke. It didn’t leave her face, even after she met up with Xavier. Her heart melted a little at the sight of her scary warrior man holding one of his newborn sons in one arm, while with the other he rocked the bassinette their other newborn was sleeping in.
He did a double take, looking at her weirdly.
“What’s with you?”
Her grin grew, and she paused to drop a kiss on his bearded cheek, Xavier bending so that she could do it easily. She pulled back and patted the cheek she’d just kissed.
“You can thank me later. Preferably with your tongue.”
His brow cocked, but she simply winked and took Rhoxon out of his hands and sat, unclasping her dress so that he could feed.
“Am I going to have to kill someone?”
“Only if she didn’t listen to me.”
“Good to know,” he mumbled before he shook his head. Like the smart man he was, he learned that sometimes it was best not to question his wife.
4 DAYS LATER
The first snowfall was bittersweet for Tyronian. For the longest time, snow had been a blessing to his eyes.
It had been his timekeeper, the beautiful miracle of nature that lifted his spirit up. Because each winter, each snowflake that fell brought him closer to the time that he’d go after the woman he wanted, closer to the day he could fulfil his promise and make Namoriee his wife.
But what used to be his joy was now his greatest sorrow. A cold reminder that, even after all his waiting, he was left alone.
With a heavy sigh, he turned away, banishing the sight of it falling from his eyes by looking down. He’d been chief of the Siraces for three months, and he hated it just as much as he thought he would. He missed being able to do what he pleased, and he missed his cousins. He wondered who in his recruits had finished their trials and went on to being warriors, or if any of them had failed.
Being chief was hard. You constantly had people coming to you, telling you what to do or what they needed, and how you were expected to make things right. He was in a constant worry, about the people, about his performance, about his duty.
It was exhausting, and he feared his perfect hair would gray and shrivel away.
He did not have the bone structure to be bald.
He kept his head down as he trudged through the snow that was quickly starting to coat the ground, cursing at himself for even wanting to go out and witness it fall in the first place. By the time he got into his house, he’d worked himself into such a frenzy that he didn’t comprehend he wasn’t alone.
“I realized something.”
Tyronian cursed, his hand flying to the long knife he kept strapped to his person in an instant. He faltered when he saw Namoriee there, looking as beautiful as ever in a soft blue gown. Her hair was longer than he remembered, tumbling around her in soft waves. His fingers were itching to bury themselves in it.
He didn’t say anything right away, too stunned to see her in front of him. She looked down, biting the bottom lip that he loved to taste. She fidgeted, showing her nerves.
He snapped out of his daze, shaking his head. He looked down, waited a beat, and then looked back up. Seeing her still there, he realized that he wasn’t seeing a hallucination his heart had conjured up. His wife really was standing in front of him.
“What’s that?” he asked, breathier than he would have liked. She didn’t look back up at him right away, which was fine, because it gave him more time to stare at her without her knowing.
He couldn’t believe that she was here.
“I thought I had been alone my entire life,” Namoriee started, her voice soft and hesitant, with only the slightest
of trembles.
“I always relied on myself for survival, because that’s all I had.” She took a deep breath and then tilted her head up, looking straight at him.
His breath was knocked out of him from that look alone.
“But then I thought back, and I realized that you were always there. For every big moment in my life, you were there. I know now that it was you who looked after me.”
He didn’t try to deny it. She smiled.
“It was all because of you. That day in the woods was the day you made Aggod make me her apprentice, and my punishments stopped. Likewise, Samanthia stopped tormenting me because you sent her away.”
She moved closer to him, her voice gaining more strength with each word.
“I didn’t know why Xavier made me Leawyn’s handmaiden. There were plenty of other women he could have chosen, but he picked me . . . because of you.”
She wasn’t asking him, but he nodded anyways. His heart was pounding when she kept walking towards him, his breathing growing increasingly unsteady.
“You cut off a man’s head because he attacked me. You made sure that I didn’t suffer, but you let me make my own mistakes. You allowed me to grow into a woman, but protected me as a girl. You did what no man would have done, and waited to claim me.”
She was practically upon him now, and he savored her sweet scent when she was close enough. He shuddered when her hands landed on his forearms, her touch tentative. He released the breath he wasn’t aware he was holding when she brought his arms up until they rested on her hips. His fingers twitched, wanting to grab on and not let go.
She closed her eyes for a moment, as if she were savoring the same thing he was; their closeness. Her breathing was shaky, and he was momentarily startled to see the tears in her eyes when she raised them to meet his own.
“I’ve never had much, I never did. But with you?” A tear slipped past her eyelashes and trailed down her cheek. “I have everything.”