I cast around for a chair, my eyes landing with unhappiness on the one I’d been tied to way back when this whole mess started. I walked over to it in the vast concrete basement and made to drag it over with what was left of my energy.
“What are you doing?” Danny asked, intercepting my effort. He was starting to treat me like he did Mariang when she was ready to pass out. This acted as a rapid fuel for me to get better fast.
“I’m staying with Von until he comes back to himself. Can you get me a book from his bedroom? Maybe if I read to him it would calm him down.”
Danny blanched. “You’re not serious. October, he doesn’t even see you as you. All you are to him is a giant blood sack. Whatever gesture you’re trying to make, he won’t see it.”
“The gesture isn’t for him, it’s for me. Von stayed with me while I was sorting through stuff. He stuck by my side and gave up his life to spend it with me. I know it’s for the greater good and not for just me, but it can’t be one way. I’m not a taker. This is finally a way I can be there for him.”
Danny shook his head, setting the chair down six feet from the cage, but he stood next to it wearing his angry face, so I didn’t dare go near Von. “That’s not your job. Your job is to reap souls, not be his therapist.”
“I’m allowed to be friends with my Pullers, Danny. If Mason’s well enough, could you send him down here? The three of us are in this together. When one of us is broken, we should all feel it.”
“No. You’re getting this backwards. When you’re broken, they should feel it. They’re not allowed to burden you with being broken.”
“Oh, you’re hopeless. This is what family is,” I informed him, feeling like I was a first grade teacher, and Danny was the mouthy kid at the back of the class.
“Whatever. I’ll send Mason down to make sure you don’t get eaten by your family pet.”
My tone turned sharp. “You’ll not run Von down in front of me anymore. He just went through something in Sakuna, and this is all you’ve got for him? The same old bag of flipped-up garbage? Your brother was being tortured in prison! What’s the matter with you? Whatever sibling stuff you two’ve been married to for this long, get over it.”
Danny reared back, and I saw out of the corner of my eyes Mariang retreating up the stairs to escape our fight. “Get over it? Get over it? You’ve known him only a few months. Von’s got a trail of wreckage behind him, but he’s a tortured artist half-vamp, so it’s all okay.”
I remained firm. “Get over it.”
“He let my car get dinged when he was teaching Bishop to drive!”
“Get over it.”
“He slept with the girl I liked in high school!”
“Oh, boo-hoo! Get over it.”
“He’s… He’s irresponsible, but the worst part is that he didn’t used to be. He knows how to do right by us, but he gave up.”
“Get over it.”
“He was a prostitute! That’s the lowest kind of profession for Duwendes. He’s a disgrace!”
I heard Von whining to snatch at me. Though I knew he couldn’t understand that I was standing up for him, I felt finally right in my own skin at putting a stop to the aggression Danny always had ready. I lowered my voice and tried to iron out the frustration from my tone. “Danny, I know it’s hard, but trust me, I’m telling you to get over it for you, not for Von. I know the boat you’re in.”
Danny scoffed, his Frankenstein eyebrows pushing together. “You couldn’t possibly.”
“No?” My temper started swinging like a pendulum. “Bev forgets us on Christmas every year. Allie and Ollie used to buy a present, wrap it and say it was from her. Bev let men into the house who were… They were the worst kind of men who shouldn’t be allowed around young girls.” I shivered. Perhaps it was because of the cold I still couldn’t shake, or maybe it was from the memory of Bev’s old boyfriend Gideon always trying to “accidentally” brush up against me and touch me where he shouldn’t.
Danny’s eyes went wide as his mouth closed, ceding the fight for the moment.
“Bev didn’t feed me, drive me to school, take me to the doctor, come to graduations – none of it. And you know what I had to do? I had to get over it. Sure, it still stings, but being mad at this point? It only hurts me. You being mad at Von for something he did in high school? You’re hurting yourself, not just Von. Did he even know you liked that girl before he slept with her?”
“No, but he should’ve. I only sat at the same lunch table with her every day for a month.”
I let out a raspberry of disbelief. “Wow. And I thought I had problems. Can you really be the best at your job if you’re carrying around all that anger? You have to find a way to let it go. Anger clouds your judgment, and you can’t afford to be compromised on the job like this. Find a way to look at Von and not see all the ways he’s failed you. It’s a sucky way to look at people, how you’re doing it. It’s toxic, and you’re addicted to the poison.”
Danny chewed on his bottom lip, his arms crossed over his chest like armor to shield his heart so my words couldn’t touch the tender, shriveled organ. “I can’t see him any other way. Von knows how to be great. He was the best big brother when we were younger. Now he chooses not to be worthwhile. He chooses the gutter. Bev was always hopeless, but seeing your own personal Superman choosing the gutter? I can’t stand for it.”
I shrugged. “Then you’ll just keep being unhappy. You’ll keep hurting yourself.” I looked up into his blue eyes, searching for something human lurking beneath all the steel he wore just to make it through the day. I saw the overburdened brother clearly, and felt truly sad for the Ollie of it all. “Danny, you’re so tired. You work so hard. Can you really afford to carry around all this extra weight? Man, that must’ve been a high pedestal you had him on before he fell off of it. It’s a wonder Von can stand at all.”
With his mouth in a tight line, Danny watched my face, searching out signs that I was wrong or trying to get him to let his guard down for some shady purpose. “You… Don’t… I don’t care how dreamy you think Von is, you’re not staying down here without Mason or me to watch you.”
I nodded, expecting as much. “That’s fine. And for the record, Von’s my friend, nothing more. It’s Mason I was aiming at.”
“Was?”
“It’s complicated. You’ll be happy to know it’s more complicated than I have the energy for. Your buddy’s safe from my womanly wiles, as is your brother.” My legs were tired from the mere effort of standing. I hadn’t finished my stew, and was still starving and worn out.
Danny seemed to see all of this. He was well-trained at anticipating needs that might interfere with a Death Omen’s ability to do her job. He moved the chair toward me and lowered me down into it by holding onto my elbows. “Steady,” he warned me when my arms started shaking. After I was safely seated, he leaned my temple into his hip to make sure I didn’t fall over. “You’re still cold.”
I took a few breaths, trying to iron out my weakness that threatened to make me pass right out in the middle of the basement. My eyes widened when I felt Danny’s fingers brush back the errant curls that had come loose from my bun. He… He was being nice to me. I wasn’t sure if I liked him better like this, or if I preferred him shouting like a fool. At least I could predict the fool.
“You know,” he began, his voice quiet, “I’m going to have to tell Ezra everything. I haven’t told him about Bev’s trailer yet because I thought you should know before I did, but it’s coming. He deserves to know the pile he’s stepping into.”
My lashes swept shut, fending off the arguing I wanted to do. “I don’t want to take things away from Ezra. If Bev makes him happy, he should have that.”
“Bev won’t make him happy if she’s this person you’re telling me she is.”
I didn’t want to lean on him, but staying upright was problematic after enduring such malnourishment. “If they don’t get married, then there goes my chance at having a dad.” Moisture prick
ed at my eyes. “Could you go? I’m about to lose it, and you’re like, the last person on the planet I want to cry in front of.” I heard Von’s grating howl to get at me, and I welcomed the distraction from my pain.
Danny palmed the side of my face and squeezed me to his hip. It was his version of a hug, and it served us both fine – jaded as we were. He exited up the stairs, leaving me alone with the monster who used to be Von. I soaked in my vampire’s growls and snarls; they were far more eloquent than the taunting of the voices in my head.
6
Just One Kiss
One look at Mason took my breath away. Von had changed in the couple of weeks we’d been locked up, but Mason had been altered on too many levels. His seven long dreads had been cut off. Actually, he’d been shaved. I didn’t know everything about the Matruculan race my biological father and Mason stemmed from, but I remembered one key element: their inhuman strength was tied to not cutting their hair. It was why Ezra wasn’t a Hulk of a man, and I wasn’t body slamming people more than the average girl with nine chips on her shoulder.
Mason’s spirit was utterly crushed. Though I could now see his handsome face more fully without his beard (and truthfully, he looked a lot more like a hot guy from my world than a ruthless Viking), he was not himself. I’d fallen hard for Mason, and what Sakuna returned to me was a pretty shell. Mason came to me because Danny made him watch to make sure Von didn’t eat me, but I could tell he’d rather be anywhere else.
“A lot of good I could do if Von actually broke loose,” Mason countered.
Danny’s thin lips were set in a tight line as he took in the tenor of his best friend’s sunken mood. “You’re every bit as strong as I am now. I’m not Matruculan, and I can guard my charge well enough. You still have strength; you’ll just have to work a little harder for it from here on out. And your body compensates for what October needs to stay safe, so it’s actually easy for you, me and Von to build muscle.”
Mason pfft’d and sat down on the concrete floor, not bothering to spread out the blankets Danny had brought down for us. He didn’t want comfort. I couldn’t say I didn’t understand. There were soft beds aplenty upstairs, but I was adamant about not leaving Von when he was so distraught.
Danny sighed, a hard look in his eyes as he watched his best friend sulk in what felt like a new permanence rather than a passing rough patch. When I got up off the chair to fan out the thick blankets Danny brought down for us, Danny helped me spread them on the floor, reaching out and brushing my fingers when we were finished making a nest for Mason and me. “You’re still freezing. You shouldn’t sleep down here. You know it’s warmer upstairs.”
“I won’t leave one of my team when they’re down and out. I don’t want Von to come back to himself all alone. He doesn’t deserve that. They were tortured because they were with me. I can be a little uncomfortable for them.”
Danny shook his head at me, on the edge of exasperation. “You don’t understand how this thing works. We follow you. You don’t follow us.”
“I don’t much care how it’s supposed to work. This is who I am. Deal with it.”
So focused on smoothing out the wrinkles was I that I didn’t see the luscious bowl of beef Danny set down beside me. I barely chewed as I wolfed down the remainder of the meal, so grateful to be full and on the way to feeling normal again.
Danny still didn’t get why I needed my little team to stick together through Von’s torment, but he didn’t say anything more about it. He simply sat on the blankets near my head after I laid down, watching Mason stare off vacantly from his seat on the concrete.
“Danny?” I said just loud enough to be heard over Von’s growls and snorts.
“Yeah?”
“Do you ever resent Mariang for all the work you have to do?”
Danny was thoughtful for a moment. “Some days are more intense than others, but in the end I know I chose this life. Why?”
I pulled the hunter green comforter up to my chin and stared up at the concrete ceiling. It had wood beams running width-wise across it, and not a single cobweb. “I have a hard time living with the fact that I’ve pretty much ruined their lives.” I spoke of Mason as if he wasn’t there, which was basically the case. “Sakuna put us in prison, but now that we’re out, they’re not actually free. They’re still sentenced to lifetime duty. I’m wondering at what point they’ll start taking their resentment out on me.”
When Danny spoke, he sounded confused. “You really care about them.”
“Of course I do.”
Danny cleared his throat. “I wouldn’t worry so much about the resentment thing. It’s not a huge issue, no more than it is with any relationship.”
I nodded, wishing I could do anything for Von, who was whining to get at us, reaching through the bars of his cage to snatch at me. I wished I could help Mason, who was utterly not himself. I sat up and crawled over to my Viking, kneeling in front of him to show him my hands before placing them on his shoulders. I massaged the meat that was tense from too many zombie-ridden battles, knowing it wouldn’t fix him, but it was at least a start. He couldn’t look at me, even as I pulled him up to stand. I laid him down in the makeshift bed and scooted in next to him.
“If you don’t need anything else, I’m going to go upstairs to be with Mariang. She’s had a long day.”
“That’s fine. Thanks for everything.”
“No problem, kid.” Danny turned off the overhead lights and left on the stairway bulb so we had just enough illumination to see.
When we were alone, I turned on my side to face Mason, reaching out to touch his shaved cheek. He was even more handsome now, like a cowboy model on a smutty porn-for-women book cover, but utterly destroyed. When his eyes finally met mine, a small amount of life flickered when he whispered, “Kara. I need to see Kara. Please.”
My heart sank. Of course he would want his wife in this situation. We barely knew each other. What use could I really be to him? I was the conduit for giving him access to the woman he truly loved. Though it tore me up, I felt like I owed him that for all he’d suffered through on my account.
“Sure, buddy. Anything you need. Just one kiss, though, okay?”
“Okay. Thank you for this.”
I sighed, gearing myself up to rip my heart in two all over again. I closed the gap between us and stroked his lips with mine. They were soft and supple, tasting like the beef he’d no doubt been fed earlier. He was delicious. My intention was to take it slow as I indulged us, but by the second kiss, our passion took my senses by storm. The red and yellow colors blasted into my vision, swirling around Mason and tying us together in our nest.
My stomach jumped up, did a backflip into my esophagus and landed with a splash in my midsection. Soon I was the desperate one, clinging to his hard body with hands that read his chest like it was covered in Braille. He was warm, like sun-baked earth, and I had been so cold.
And then he was crying. I didn’t have a ton of experience making out with older men, but something told me that tasting tears wasn’t as sexy as, well, not. I pulled back to gauge his expression, but when we parted those few inches, he grew immediately frustrated. “Where is she? Kara? Kara!” He grabbed my face like he wanted to punish it, and crashed his lips down on mine, rolling atop me. Then he pulled back with a mournful wail. “No! Kara! Come back to me!”
The pleasant sensory overload melted away, and I lay beneath him, horrified. I apologized for not being able to produce his deceased wife on command, unable to stop myself. “I’m sorry, Mason. I don’t know what happened. You can’t see her anymore?”
“I know she’s in there! Let’s try again.”
“I don’t think we should. Mason, let’s…” But Mason swallowed the rest of my protest in another kiss. The flutes were screaming at me now as the colors flung themselves on my body like the splash of a rotten tomato, as if warning me to get away.
Believe me, I was trying. “Mason, it’s enough. I can’t…” His body was heavy, and
weighted my weakened one so I couldn’t get out from under him. My pulse spiked when I realized that this wasn’t a kiss; it was an attack. “Mason, calm down a little. That’s too rough!”
“You’re being stubborn! Give my wife back to me!” His cry broke my heart for too many reasons.
Mason pinned my arms out to the sides when I tried to gently extract myself, his demanding lips seeking out mine that were now protesting his bruising force to no avail. “Mason! Stop it! Let me go!” When his hips pressed down atop mine, fear lit me up like a Christmas tree on fire. I screamed to the upstairs for help, but Mason ignored me, frantically searching my lips for someone that just plain wasn’t there. Maybe I could’ve thrown him off on my own, but the whole thing was so confusing and scary. I didn’t think I had the wherewithal to hold my head up under the crushing weight of the worst love life in the world. Also, I was pretty undernourished, and didn’t have my usual throw-a-Viking-off-me oomph.
“Give her to me!” Mason shouted as he mashed his lips to mine again through my scream, rough and angry, like he wanted to punish me for not producing his wife on command. “Kara!”
Von’s first human words erupted from his pained expression as he gripped the bars like he wanted to bend them. “Danny! Help!” Then he went back to growling and snapping his teeth to get at me.
I heard heavy footsteps pounding down toward us. “Ah, guys! I thought you were in trouble,” Danny groused, embarrassed as he turned to stomp back up.
“Help! Get him off me!” I shouted, trying to twist away, but unable to escape from under him. Mason caged me in with his arms, shoving his lips down on me again, searching in vain for something I didn’t even know how to give him.
The next thing I knew, Mason was ripped off of me, looking like a wild animal in Danny’s grip. Danny had him around the chest and the waist from behind, his eyes wide as he tried to make the scenario mean anything other than what he’d seen. “Get ahold of yourself, mate!” Danny squeezed, and Mason started to view the room with new clarity I could see slowly dawning on him that hadn’t been there before.
Torture (Terraway Book 3) Page 3