You can’t sleep. Stay awake.
I nodded dumbly, answering the voice even though all I wanted to do was sleep. “Okay. I’ll stay awake.”
Adawolfa answered me as if I were speaking to her. “Good, good. That’s perfect. The attack has stopped and we can already hear…”
“Kill him!”
Chapter 3
A howl unlike anything I’d ever heard brutally shattered the supercharged air. Aldrich crashed through the barrier surrounding the courtyard. His usually sleek body moved with deadly grace, and his clothing was torn in several places as if his form had simply gotten too big for the material. His eyes blazed black, as dark as his hair, and his smoldering gaze settled on me. Adawolfa stood slowly while he huffed, violence spilling from his every pore. “Mate.”
His voice pounded in my ears, laced with murder. All of the wolves in my immediate view took a hurried step back, falling to the ground in a show of absolute submission. Adawolfa was the only one who stood standing and even she tilted her head, revealing the thundering pulse beneath her skin.
Aldrich would never hurt me, yet my survival instincts screamed at me, heightening as his fingernails lengthened into harsh stiletto knives. The fight-or-flight reflex that had told me to step under a barrage of arrows suddenly wanted to hide under the covers and get as far away from danger as possible.
Ignoring it, I dragged my throbbing body up. Blood from my wounds collected in a puddle at the base of the Irminsala, vanishing from view as I stumbled forward. “I’m okay, Aldrich. Don’t worry…”
An animalistic snarl was my only answer. He crouched low, his form ready to spring. The eastern wall trembled and Ulric appeared with the rest of the hunting party. They pushed a boy I’d never seen forward. He was a set of squares stacked onto squares and connected with rectangles. Lanky but chunky. He would be huge when he filled out, though for now he was little more than blocky feet and hands. He lumbered forward, almost hitting the ground when his body swayed with more momentum than he could compensate for.
Behind me, I heard the snap of bone breaking and remolding as Aldrich morphed into his Alpha form, a hulking hybrid of man and wolf. The rest of his clothing fell off as the hair on his head spread down his muscular form. Instead of the purple-grey I was used to, the inky fur was completely black. His muzzle stretched and a mouthful of sharp teeth gleamed in the darkened depths. “Kill him.”
No one moved. I’m pretty sure no one but me breathed. Adawolfa finally spoke, her voice thready and fearful. “Al, what’s going on?”
The boy was the one to answer, his huge eyes leveling on me. Something flashed beneath those watery depths and I heard the same voice that had warned me of danger before. Only this time the voice commanded I protect. “I didn’t attack anyone! Let me go!”
Aldrich threw his head back and howled again. The sudden movements made my already traumatized body vibrate and my knees weakened. As I came crashing down, I couldn’t help but smile. There was no way Aldrich would attack the boy if I needed him.
And for some reason, I desperately wanted the boy intact.
* * * *
I must have lost consciousness for a few minutes, because when I woke up Aldrich was kicking the door to our bedroom closed. He settled me carefully on the bed and ignored my weak protests when I tried to warn him about the blood.
A lethal claw arched through the air and cut through my clothing, leaving the fragile and abused skin underneath untouched. My head swam but I was too weak to do anything more than scold him. “That was brand new.”
“Be quiet and heal.”
I had no intention of obeying him, but my eyes slid closed on their own. My wounds were just too much.
Ice and pain spiraled through my mind. All I knew was the jaw-clenching throb of exhaustion as I did my best to keep from crying out. My teeth chattered, even as I knew sweat was running over my body.
There was no way for me to tell how much time slid by, but I slowly became aware of Aldrich outside of my sick world. He bathed me, feeding me warmth when all I knew was freezing cold. His energy was intense and worried and I could almost hear his thoughts singing in the air. “I command you to get better. Now.”
I chuckled and it came out a harsh, pathetic sound. “I don’t think it works like that.”
His face appeared in the hazy line of my vision. Distress marred his hard mouth and I would have reached up to touch him if my arms weren’t so heavy. “No, you must stay still.” He remained in his Alpha state, his elongated teeth and modified jaw making his words clumsy and harsh.
“I don’t want to.” I could have wept at the sorrow in his voice. His eyes tracked over me and I wondered at their once again darkness. While before they had been a whorl of black and white, now they were nothing but jet black, the same black I’d noticed his hair was earlier.
He spoke again and there was unchecked pain in his voice. “This is my fault. If I hadn’t put my claws to your thighs you might not have stumbled before making it to the Irminsala.”
“That’s not true. I was down before…”
His big hand reached up, as if to push me down again when I tried to pull myself into a sitting position. He jerked away before he made contact. “Roux, just … lay down. Please. You’re already sweating with fever.”
I collapsed backward and my eyelids immediately fell. I dragged one open and did my best to glare into his shining black eyes. “You didn’t cause this … so put Wolf away.”
Atop his head, one black-furred ear twitched. I did my best to smile, even as the scowl deepened across his face. “Rest.”
“Okay … just for a little while.”
* * * *
I don’t know how long I was out. He was gone for a time, only to come back … different. I immediately felt the change. Suddenly, the energy that was him shifted violently. It felt wrong … angry, like something was threatening it.
I cracked my eyes and thought for a moment that I was seeing things. Aldrich was covered in blood and naked from head to toe. He left crimson streaks on the window, where I assumed he crawled into the room, but I couldn’t figure out why. Lines of strain marred his overly-bulky muscles. The cords on his neck stretched taut and I could almost hear the hum from his vibrating body.
He was in full Alpha form, a sleek but powerful creature that stood up on its hind legs. Every inch of him was covered in black, glossy fur and a thick tail swept the ground as he walked.
I opened my mouth, but his head jerked to the side. Flat black eyes leveled on me and a frisson of fear crawled up my spine. I pushed it to the side trying to force my weak limbs to obey my commands. “Don’t look at me like that.”
He paused his advance, seemingly confused by my tone, the blood covering his body seeming to swirl under my stressed eyes. “Like what?”
“Like I’m an enemy. Usually you reserve that look for people who are attacking me.”
He took a threatening step toward me, his claws sliding free. Hot saliva dripped from his mouth and hissed as it landed on the polished ground. I knew of the healing properties of wolves’ saliva, but never knew it could also react like acid in other situations. The knowledge certainly didn’t bring me any comfort.
“They’re never going to let me in. Never.”
His elongated teeth made it hard for me to understand what he said. “What?”
“You’re keeping me out, aren’t you? You’re the reason they won’t accept me.”
He stalked toward me, but my neck wasn’t doing a good job holding up my head. The bed dipped slightly and I laid back. It took all of my strength but I managed to pry my sticky eyelids apart again. Aldrich loomed over me, his body poised for attack. “You have to die. They will let me in after. After.”
I couldn’t have heard right. He would never hurt me. Laughter spilled out of my throat and I reached for him. I was still cold, still shivering, but he was so warm. I managed to pull him down onto my chest, even while he snarled and snapped. “Stop that.”
He stilled, little by little and I pressed my face to his neck, inhaling deeply. “You reek … of blood.” I said it with deliberate slowness, giggling afterwards.
“I’m going to kill you.”
A snort left my face. “No you’re not. You’re going to be nice to me because I don’t feel well.”
“You’re a danger. You’re a danger to the Pack, to our way of life. You’re a danger to me.”
I giggled again, reaching up to capture one pert ear between my fingertips. I stroked it playfully. “If I do this long enough, will your leg start to kick?”
A low rumble of pleasure hit my ears and for some reason I could tell this was different. It was as if Wolf had snuggled up against me and decided to take a nap. This was the wildness inside of Aldrich. His animal liked me.
I deepened my caress, scratching behind his ears. That big tail thumped against my leg and I laughed before letting my arms drop back to my sides. “I love you, my Wolf. You wouldn’t hurt me.”
He paused and I felt, rather than saw, his body relax. The scent of blood slowly vanished, leaving nothing but wonderful Aldrich behind. The fur receded, along with the ears. I clung to him, burying my face in his neck while he panted against my skin.
“You are correct … I don’t know … what came over me.”
“It’s all right. We all have our moments.”
His lips captured mine, tongue sweeping into my mouth. I moaned, the weakness weighing me down slowly receding as he gently worked me over. He stole my breath, dragging it into his own lungs and leaving me with nothing but fire in its wake.
His hands cupped my breasts lightly and I was able to open my eyes and wind my fingers into the hair at his nape. My blurred vision cleared just as his fingertips were about to find my hard nipple. “What happened to the blood?” I gasped.
He paused and I giggled drunkenly. He looked so confused, all dark hair and barely contained fury. He may have shed his lupine form, but his eyes were still the same shadowed color. His nostrils flared and bent down to take my scent in deeper. “What blood? You are still injured?”
A hand waved dismissively in front of my face. It took me a moment to realize it was mine. I must have imagined the blood as well as his transformation because now all I felt was hard, happy Aldrich. “How is everyone else?”
He hesitated, visually coming to the same conclusion as me when I didn’t answer him about the blood. “The arrows contained no silver. All will recover, though you are the most injured.”
I smiled dreamily. “I’m glad. That boy seemed so scared.”
A rumble of anger hit my ears and I was forced to pry my eyes back open –when did I close them? The fur around Aldrich’s neck was sticking straight up and his head was lowered threateningly. Running my tongue over my lip, I focused enough energy to poke him in the chest. “What’s up with you?”
“You would defend the boy who attacked our family?”
It took me a muddled minute to grasp that he thought I meant the captured bear boy. I chuckled at his anger. “No, no. There was a pup. A wolf. He was trapped and I tried to protect him. Though I didn’t do a very good job. I think he was hurt.”
His featured softened as I spoke and by the time I was finished, the fur on his body had begun to bleed back to the purple tone I liked. “Irit will be fine. The moment his hand was healed, he demanded to be allowed to see you.”
My mind was working sluggishly but my body was responding just fine. I ran my tongue over my lips, hoping he would kiss me. Maybe he would do more. It’d been too long since he’d gotten in a good grope.
I frowned, realizing I’d been out for longer than I thought. “How long ago was that?”
“You’ve been asleep only a few days. Your wounds were extensive, but most of them healed under my ministrations.”
I would have blushed but I don’t think my body had enough blood to move around. He’d had his tongue on my skin –healing only, of course. Still, I was glad I hadn’t missed the Storm Ceremony. Shifting my weight I tried to sit up, only to have him gently push me back down. “Have you been like this the entire time?” I asked grouchily.
He shrugged and I couldn’t help but notice that even though his fur was back to normal, his eyes remained jet black. It felt like he was seconds away from snapping back into lupine state.
“Finally, you’re awake.” A breathy sigh sounded from the entrance of our bedroom. Adawolfa took a hesitant step forward and for the first time I could remember, she looked frazzled. Her usually flawless crown of curls was frizzy, as if she’d repeatedly run her fingers through it. There were stress lines around her mouth and she looked like she’d been without sleep.
Cundrie appeared behind her, looking just as torn up. “Princess, I’m so glad that you’re–”
Aldrich moved so fast I never saw him leave the side of the bed. His lips peeled back over his teeth in a snarl. “Get away from her.”
Cundrie practically collapsed on the floor and Adawolfa quivered with fear. He looked as if he wanted to tear both of them into ribbons of bone and blood.
“Aldrich!” I snapped it before the wave of fear could become contagious.
He didn’t turn, but his tone softened. “Shadows. Both of them. Their only duty was to ensure your safety. Both of them failed. They’re lucky they’re still breathing.”
Moving was painful, like my body wanted to rip the seams of the shiny pink flesh holding it together. Even so, I hobbled over to Aldrich. The wolf ears high on his head twitched when I got close but he never took his eyes off the women.
I kept my tone low and even, smiling at both of them in order to keep them from screaming when he jerked his head from left to right.
“You know they did their absolute best. No one in this room wants me hurt.” I ran my hands up and down his back, ignoring the way he flinched. “Someone tell me what happened.”
Adawolfa’s voice cracked but she muscled forward. “A boy was found after the attack. A bear. He’s being held for questioning.”
I frowned. “Questioning?”
Cundrie didn’t bother getting up from the ground. “No one has tortured him. He’s mostly been left alone, though he’s not allowed to leave.”
“Mina convinced Al that’s what you would have wanted.”
My shoulders slumped under the weight of my relief. Good old Mina, always knowing what to do. “And where is he now?”
Aldrich snapped his teeth angrily. “That doesn’t matter, since you will not be going near him. Ever.”
I kept my mouth shut, willing to let go of this argument for now. But I had no intention of letting the boy be harmed. “Is the moon up yet?”
Everyone in the room went still. Aldrich turned his head slowly, looking me up and down. I shrugged a delicate shoulder, swallowing my wince when everything tugged along in pain. “You cannot be serious, mate.”
I counted to three before continuing. “Look at you. You’re a mess. A second ago, you were a heartbeat away from striking Adawolfa down. Adawolfa.”
His chest rumbled with displeasure but he allowed me to continue.
“You need the Blut-kette. It must be summoned and tonight is the best chance we have to do so. Also, Hrodulf is tired. He only has one day a month he can step down without being killed. Tonight is the night. I will not have him suffer because I needed more downtime.” I held up my hand when Cundrie opened her mouth to disagree. “Go. Find Frauke and tell her I’m ready to begin the rituals.”
Strength like not
hing I’d known until this moment flooded me when she stood slowly, tilting her chin far back in respect. She was gone in the next breath, hastily doing as I bid. I’d never been much of a person for authority, and the acknowledgment of my own power left me trembling inside. On the outside, though, I was steady as a rock. My body hummed with pain but I refused to falter. There was too much riding on this. Too many people needed this to happen. Aldrich, most of all.
And I would do anything for him.
“Adawolfa, if you are well enough, I need you to get everyone else in gear. I don’t know if the preparations continued, but we need to make the Ceremony happen. Now.”
She mirrored Cundrie’s sign of respect, her steady heartbeat bared to me. When she straightened a corner of her mouth was uplifted. “As you wish, my Princess.”
I flashed a grin, touched by her show. She left me alone with Aldrich and I did my best not to deflate with a sigh. Several moments of heavy silence ticked by and with them my bravado fell apart. There, in the quiet of our bedroom I wasn’t sure I was ready to be the person they seemed to need me to be.
“You don’t have to do this.”
Aldrich had summoned enough calmness to regain his human body while I issued my orders. His eyes remained as black as before but I looked past them, seeing the warm gaze of the man I loved. “You know I do. This is my life now, I’ll just have to get used to it.”
He watched me for a moment. I felt as I always did, like he saw through my shields and saw how scared I was. “I … do not doubt you.”
I smiled, but in my heart of hearts, I could only wish for his confidence.
* * * *
I asked for this, I asked for this. I asked for this. I repeated the mantra in my mind as Frauke and I walked down the long hallway leading to a different courtyard than the one that had been attacked earlier in the week.
After Aldrich and I spoke, there was nothing left to do. He kissed my mouth and I made to wrap my arms around his neck. He jerked away when his canines lengthened, sinking into his bottom lip. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, mate. You are what you are and I love every bit of you.” I put on my brave face and reached up to stroke one of the wolf ears sitting on top of his head. “Even when you can’t control half of yourself and are forced to walk around with cute little fuzzies on your head.”
The Big Cry Wolf Page 4