Crying meant living. Go ahead, little dude. Cry. Live. Make your parents mental. It’s your job. Grow up to be someone you believe in. Be someone you like.
Up here, on the 18th floor, he was completely alone. Alone to think, alone to breathe a few deep breaths. He’d wanted this, hadn’t he? Yeah, sure he did. He’d wanted to get away, get some space. Mostly he wanted to get away from Dani. He scrubbed a hand over his eyes to brush away her image, but she stayed put. Shoving away from the wall, he stalked across the patio, zeroing his gaze on the park so far below him. Dark now, there wasn’t much to see.
Three years! He’d given her three years to come around! He felt like such a dumbass now. He’d thought he had everything all figured out. She had to be into him, didn’t she? The signs were all there. They’d hung out together. She’d been sweet to him, right? She’d shared a kiss or two and a few other things that kept him waiting for more. He was pathetic. He hoarded those kisses like morphine, dragging the memories out when loneliness got to be too much. She laughed at his jokes... and most of them were pretty lame, too! She wouldn’t do that if she didn’t really like him, would she? In his mind, the biggest sign was jealousy. Dani had a fit every time he even friggin’ looked at Abby. He slammed a hand into the railing and closed his eyes.
Abby.
With her rebel pink hair and grass green eyes, she was a pretty little thing. She wore a funky diamond nose stud that made him stare at her face. Pretty sure that was the point. She didn’t need to bother with that, though. Fit, adorable, and energetic, it was impossible to ignore her. God knew he tried hard enough for more years than he could count. She just wouldn’t give up on him. She’d be a friggin’ stalker if she wasn’t so damn likable.
He’d hurt Abby’s feelings so many times his karma was on life support. She deserved better than him. He was dangerous. His life was dangerous. Abby didn’t know all that. She’d wormed her way into his heart without him even knowing it. He’d tried to keep her at a distance for what felt like forever. She was Mica’s baby sister, for crying out loud! He couldn’t hook up with her. Wouldn’t hook up with her. Even though he’d drawn that line, he still spent more time with her than he should.
How could he say no to a woman like her? He honestly didn’t want to. He liked her. She was so in love with life, with living each and every day. She was fun to be around. He felt damn good around her. He loved her wide-eyed approach to new things, her passion for the people around her. She cared about people, truly cared. It was a rare thing these days. In the past few months, he found himself looking forward to seeing her when she wasn’t around… the second he realized this, alarm bells, whistles, and sirens went off inside his head.
Time to walk away.
Her humanity would weaken him, would change him. It’d taken him centuries to finally be the Primani he was today. The future was murkier than ever and he, none of them, could afford to be vulnerable. Besides, she was human. That alone was a deal breaker. He wanted a forever kind of love.
He’d thought that love would come from Dani. After all, she was beyond death; an angel in the truest sense of the word. She could stand by him for his eternity. But Dani... well, she was just jerking him around all this time. Damn it to Hell anyway. Mica was right. He wanted to kick himself for being so blind. Flopping down onto a chaise, he remembered Dani’s last words. Was it really only three days ago? Yeah, guess so. Time flies when you’ve been kicked in the teeth by a pain-in-the-ass, blond working angel.
Before he left for Manhattan, she’d followed him to his car and watched silently as he loaded it with a couple of suitcases and a backpack. The new Dodge Challenger was a gift to himself for not murdering her. The iridescent blue paint sparkled in the morning light. Feeling a wee bit heavy hearted, he’d closed the trunk and turned to find her waiting.
“What do you want, Dani? Come to make sure I leave?”
“It’s not like that, Declan. You should know better.” She was using a snotty tone that he was just about sick to death of. She pulled it out when she knew she was wrong, but didn’t want to admit it. He’d heard it more times than he could count. With any luck at all, he’d never hear it again.
Her fine hair fluttered in the breeze, and he pulled his eyes away from it. “Really? What’s it like then? ‘Cuz I sure as hell don’t know what to think anymore.”
She sighed and tossed her hair like he was being a difficult child. He really hated when she did that. It made him feel childish, unreasonable. Who did she think she was? “Tick-tock. I’m waiting. No words now? Not another insult to send me on my way? That’s a surprise.”
Her eyes flashed, and she snapped, “You have no idea what I’m thinking, so give it a rest.”
He flinched at her tone and studied her face one last time. He’d really thought he might love her, but she was right. He didn’t know her at all. That’s exactly how she wanted it, too. Sharing next to nothing about herself, she had kept him at arm’s length all this time. He’d been stupid. Shrugging with nonchalance he didn’t really feel, he buried the pain behind sarcasm. “And that’s our problem, isn’t it? You never talk to me. So I don’t know you at all, do I? And now, I’m not sure I want to.”
She grimaced at his words, grabbing at his arm to stop him. “Wait--”
Jerking his arm away, he cut her off. “No, Dani. I get it. You don’t want me. You don’t need to beat me over the head with it. I’m finally seeing things clearly. Shit, girl, I just wish I’d seen the truth years ago. I’ve wasted too much time waiting on you. I’m through.” He gave her a hard look and got into the car.
Even here in Manhattan, she followed him. It was beyond annoying. She didn’t want him, but he couldn’t get her out of his head. He was a moron. Go away, Dani! Mentally scrubbing her face from his mind, he stomped back into the kitchen. A quick recon through the pantry turned up a nice fresh bottle of Jim Beam. Just what the doctor ordered. He’d just downed a double when there was a subtle shift in air pressure. Company. Please don’t be Alex. He wasn’t in the mood for their boss.
“Yo, Dec!”
He perked up. Now Sean he could stand in the mood he was in. Sean was his other Primani ‘brother’. More like him than Killian was, Sean was practically his twin. Except he had a sense of humor and Sean, well, he just didn’t. Ha. His timing was perfect! If anyone understood misplaced love, it was Sean. After all, Mica had ended up with Killian... after starting out with Sean. He’d get a ton of sympathy from Sean. “In here drowning Dani in bourbon. Come on in.”
Sean strolled into the kitchen and frowned at the bottle. He shook his head and straddled a stool. “Don’t drink alone, man. It’s lame.”
The morning brought a brand new day full of sun, and sunlight, and more sunlight. All of it was trying to kill him. Swearing very quietly, Dec shoved his head under a pillow and wished for the energy to close the blinds. Just the idea of getting up sent a shaft of pain through his skull. Not gonna happen. A few hours later, he dragged himself out of bed and stumbled into the shower. While the scalding waterfall sluiced over his back, he let his saol purge the toxins from his body. With arms folded against the glass, he rested his cheek on his crossed forearms and sighed. Breathing slowly and deeply, he let nature do its thing. At his command, the saol released a gentle pulse of healing energy that raced through his cells, burning off the garbage that was making him feel like crap. The rhythmic vibrations were soothing, so he took the world’s longest shower.
Hot water on demand was a blessing that no one who wasn’t immortal would ever appreciate. Two hundred years ago, he was lucky if he got a bath in a tub. Most of the time, the Primani settled for a scrub in a creek or a swim in a freezing lake, unless of course, they were working ops in Paris or another cultured city. The wealthy had bathtubs, sometimes. He smiled at a flash of memory. Mmm, Paris. He’d had a few girlfriends there. The last one died in 1777. Beautiful, pampered…blond and sweet, Justina. The youngest unmarried daughter of a fat, old count, she was left to her own devic
es more often than not. They’d met at a winter ball, of all things, and the chemistry was potent. At 23, she was potent. Tall, willowy, with lush breasts, she was stunning. She also had all of her teeth, which was a rare thing back then.
It had started out as a simple fling. She wouldn’t take no for an answer, and he didn’t really want to say no. Despite the work he was doing, he was able to squeeze in time to see her. Day visits turned to night visits faster than he could say ‘ménage a trois.’ Apparently, her bedroom was soundproofed, because they never got caught by her parents. He still wondered if they ever found her toy box.
Justina.
He’d never met any woman who had such a passion for sex, before or since. On their third ‘date,’ they were at a party when she suggested a visit to the stables. She had to see the horses. After oohing and ahhing over the horses for about, oh, ten minutes, she unlaced his breeches and gave Mr. Crowley the royal treatment. Twice.
On their fifth ‘date,’ she smuggled him into her bedroom via the servants’ stairs and a secret passage in the wall. They’d laughed and kissed and drank wine until after midnight. As the clock struck 12:00, she gave him a sly grin and dragged a carved wooden chest out from a hidden cabinet in the wall. Grinning hugely, she popped it open and told him to take his pick. Judging by her cries of pleasure and the claw marks on his back, he’d chosen well.
The chemistry burned too hot to last though. He knew that now. Then? He was addicted to Justina and the joys of her box. More than once, Sean warned him that nothing good could come from seeing her. They couldn’t get married, and the count would demand it if she got pregnant. He accused Sean of being jealous. Sean shrugged it off with a knowing look and let the matter drop. But it turned out he was right.
The girl might have seemed innocent on the outside, but she did things that rocked him to the core. Worse, she let him do things that should have terrified her. But she begged, demanded more, and he gave it. God help them both, he gave her whatever she asked for. On more than one dawn, he’d crawled home feeling as though she took his soul along with his seed. The last night they were together, she drugged him. In his stupid lust-crazed head, he thought that was a good plan. On one level, it was the best sex he’d ever, ever had. Hallucinations blew his mind while she blew his… Every cell in his body burned, no exploded, with even the lightest touch of her tongue. And God only knew she touched him with way more than her tongue.
They’d emptied her entire box.
The overwhelming physical sensations were downright evil, and he still twitched at the memory of that night. Sometimes evil could feel heavenly…
He’d woken up to find both Sean and Killian shaking their heads at the foot of the huge four-posted bed. As he’d yawned awake, he realized the bed curtains were ripped down, the pillows scattered across the room. He, himself, was lying spread-eagled across the bed, shaved clean.
He tried to sit up and hissed at a sudden prick of pain on his stomach. Killian nearly died laughing. All he could do was point. He followed Killian’s finger and nearly stroked out. Oh, my God!
The brilliant hummingbird’s beak was poised to suck nectar from his cock.
At least it would if it ever got erect enough to reach his stomach again… right now, it was curled into a fetal position searching for the warm nest of curlies that were long gone. At this point, Killian had collapsed against the side of the bed. Sean was torn between humor and sympathy. Having been busted in inappropriate beds a few times himself, he understood the draw of forbidden sex way more than Killian. The fact that he’d been caught with his dick in a sling just a few months earlier didn’t stop him from laughing out loud. As Dec struggled to sit up, he realized he was tied to the bed. Even now, he could just imagine the look of shock on his face.
Sean had finally given in to the urge that was strangling him. “I tried to warn you.”
He shifted so the shower spray hit his stomach and let the memory surface. Ah, good times. He had millions of memories inside his head. Most he shuffled to the back and never brought up to the light. You’d go mental if you tried to keep up with that many. All of them did that; it was how they kept sane after all these years. Justina though... Well, she had been some kind of woman. It had taken him a month of focused healing to get that tattoo to vanish. He had to admit, it was amazing work. The artist had been talented. The tiny bird wore a studded collar around its delicate throat. He didn’t know what that meant back then. Now? He was a little shocked. He didn’t realize she wanted him to own her. He was up for kinky fun and games, but it never crossed his mind to take it to another level. Not that level, anyhow.
Probably just as well they never saw each other again. After Killian stopped laughing, he’d announced they were done in Paris. Time to move to America… wherever the hell that was...
A face full of cold water snapped him back to the present. Time to get his ass in gear. The past is the past. Justina’s long dead, and he had more important things to do in this century. First thing on the agenda was following up on that pretty little accident victim. After all, he had saved her life. He should at least make sure she was still alive.
Rori. Her name was Rori. Pretty name. It meant ‘brilliance’ in his home country of Ireland. ‘Brilliance’ was a lot to live up to. Still, maybe it fit her. He’d have to judge that for himself. He ran the word around his head and finally said it out loud, “Rori Austin.”
The instant the words ran off his tongue, an odd chill rolled across his skin. With a slight shiver, he opened his sight. A fleeting glimpse… an impression of something hovered out of his vision. Was it a shadow? A light? It was gone too fast to see. A sense of sorrow and pain lingered. Was she in trouble? There was something about her that tugged at him a little. He was always a sucker for a sad face, but this was… different somehow. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he was going to keep an eye on her. If nothing else, she was a diversion.
Rori closed her eyes and let the dream pull her under again. It was maddeningly close to the surface, the images skipping through her vision like an old black and white film. Again and again, she saw what she didn’t want to see, what she would never remember. The dream’s images were blurry, indistinct... the barest hint of reality. Flames licked at the edges, darkness lingered in the center. Framed against a gleaming arched window, the wings spread wide... the wings, the wings...
With a sharp cry, she jerked upright, heart in her throat, hand on her chest. Squeezing her eyes closed, she clung to the last rays of golden light that had appeared so suddenly in her vision.
The light was gone. Again.
Damn it!
Shoving her tangled hair away from her eyes, she squinted into the darkness of her room. Every day for three days, she’d had this same dream. It was making her crazy. Before her accident, she’d dreamed of the wings and the fire. But now there was a new element--the golden light. It invaded the darkness and chased the wings away. It radiated safety, escape, protection. Symbolic? Maybe. What did it mean? Shit. What did any of this mean? Most people dreamed random, disjoined images that were dredged up from their subconscious, their brains tidying up the loose ends of the day’s work. She liked to think of it as the brain dumping the cookies and temp files it created after a long day of functioning. Kind of like a wicked powerful computer. Most people wouldn’t find any significance in what they saw floating around inside their skulls at 2:00 in the morning. Huffing with frustration, she looked at the notepad and read her scribbled words.
What she wouldn’t give to be like most people.
Chapter 3: The Devil You Don’t
APPLES? ORANGES? BOTH? A girl needed fruit, right? It was healthy. Prevented scurvy and shit like that. Dec shrugged and tossed both into the basket. It was the least he could do, really. All things considered, he owed it to her. Right? Sure he did. Then why did he feel like he was doing something wrong? Guilt nibbled at his good intentions even as he dropped some cereal in with the fruit. He followed it with milk, bread, a
nd some chicken breasts, crossing his fingers she wasn’t vegan.
Trying hard to respect her privacy, he’d been sneaking up to her door and leaving boxes of food for the past two weeks. She needed a break. He could give her one. It was simple. He’d saved her from death, so he wanted to keep her healthy. He did not want to hook up with her, no matter how cute she was. It was not on his radar. Still…he felt a little dirty sneaking around like this. She’d probably think he was stalking her if she caught him. Good thing he could teleport!
Spring’s Grocery was a typical NYC grocery store. Arizona Spring opened her little family business here in 1952. It fit the needs of the neighborhood and thrived even when money was tight. After all, who didn’t need to eat? Most people who lived in the city shopped at these cramped little markets. It was one of the things he liked about living in a crowded city. He loved the energy of millions of souls converging in one place! He loved to walk down the street and watch the kaleidoscope of colors swarming around him. The hum of the people was music to his ears.
Mrs. Spring had recently put in a fresh grub bar with a broad selection of takeout items. Since restaurant food was insanely expensive, a ton of people started coming here to grab lunch. The narrow aisles couldn’t exactly accommodate the crowd, but everyone was usually patient about it. It was odd how a shared love of eating brought people together. In this case, they were all very together as they inched their way to the cash register at the front of the store. Always polite, he raised the small basket over his head to make room for a Marilyn Manson groupie edging past him. The asshole didn’t return the favor and thoroughly invaded his personal space with a full frontal slide-by.
Broken Souls (Primani Book 4) Page 3