They rocked in silence for another minute. “Do you want to go for a walk?” he asked.
She shook her head. “I really don’t. Can we just stay here?” Not that the back porch was any better, but she wanted to be able to yell and have Wesley hear her. Patrick made her feel extremely uncomfortable.
He nodded. “Sure.” Again nothing was said for a full minute.
She was beginning to feel even more uncomfortable when he put his hand on her cheek and turned her face to his. He looked deep into her eyes and said, “Your sister is the most beautiful woman in the world.”
Malinda stiffened up. “I’m going inside.” Really, the man was insufferable. He acted like he had feelings for her all evening just so he could tell her that? She was glad he cared for Ellen, she really was, but to have him say her sister was the most beautiful woman in the world as he stared into her eyes? She stood and rushed into the house. Wesley would make her feel better. He always did.
She hurried into the parlor and saw Wesley sitting on the sofa with Ellen. Neither of them looked terribly comfortable together or happy to be there. Malinda was relieved. She was afraid both of the brothers would fall for Ellen. Ellen was just so….well…perfect, and Malinda was nothing compared to her sister.
She walked to where Ellen and Wesley were sitting together on the couch and immediately plopped down between them, wedging them apart. Malinda glared at Wesley. “I don’t like your brother as much as I like you.” She knew she was frowning, but she didn’t care. He needed to know his brother was rude.
Wesley put his arm around her shoulders and smiled. “I’m glad to hear you say that.”
Malinda saw Ellen slip out of the room as she wrapped her arms around Wesley’s neck, initiating a kiss with him for the first time. She pressed her lips to his, touching her tongue to his lips as he’d done with her on more than one occasion. His lips parted for her, and she moved her tongue inside his mouth to touch his. She needed to feel like she was special and wanted, and in Wesley’s arms, she never felt like she was anything less than the most beautiful woman in the world.
When she broke the kiss she rested her forehead against his shoulder. “I don’t ever want to have to spend a night with Patrick again.”
He laughed. “I think Ellen feels the same way about me.” He stroked her cheek. “Do you think you could talk her into agreeing to marry Patrick tomorrow? We could have a Saturday wedding.”
Malinda shrugged. “I’m not sure if she’s ready to make a decision yet.” She felt so safe with his arms around her. He’d protect her from the world, wouldn’t he? She wouldn’t have to worry about poverty as long as he lived. She knew she wouldn’t. Maybe she could make a decision….
After the men left for the night, she floated up the stairs in a cloud of happiness. Maybe she could agree to marry him tomorrow if he’d be willing to put off the wedding for a month or two. Or she could marry him and he could put off consummating the marriage for a while. Surely he’d understand she wasn’t ready for that if she just talked to him about it.
She fell asleep with a smile on her lips. She loved the idea of being married to Wesley, but not having sex with him. It would be perfect. He could have the cleaning and housework done just like he wanted, while she could have the time she needed to get used to the idea of intercourse. And they could spend long evenings on the sofa kissing and hugging. Of course he’d do that for her. He cared about her, didn’t he?
*****
“I think that went just as we’d hoped,” Patrick told Wesley as they walked toward Wesley’s house.
“You sure made Malinda angry! I don’t even want to know what you said to her.” Wesley grinned at his brother.
Patrick laughed out loud. “You should have seen the look on her face when I told her Ellen was the most beautiful woman in the world.”
Wesley laughed. “Why did you lie to her?”
“I didn’t!” Patrick walked into Wesley almost knocking him over.
“You really think she’s prettier than Malinda?” Wesley asked in surprise.
“Absolutely! You don’t?”
Wesley shook his head. “I’ve never seen a woman more beautiful than Malinda.”
“I guess you can believe that if it makes you stay away from Ellen.”
“They’re turning us into a couple of love-struck idiots.”
Patrick nodded. “Yes, they are. I don’t mind, though. Ellen’s worth it.”
*****
First thing the next morning, Ellen cornered her again, demanding she make a decision. If she hadn’t been so bossy about it, Malinda had planned to tell her she’d made one. She’d been planning on telling her that she was going to marry Wesley. She still wasn’t certain she was making the right decision, but she knew she couldn’t marry anyone else while she was in love with him.
Ellen’s bossiness made Malinda so angry she said she wasn’t making a decision until she was ready, though. Malinda loved her sister, but her bossiness was her one contention with her.
After breakfast, they went for a walk to a park down the street that Patrick had walked Ellen to earlier in the week. Malinda liked the looks of the small town. Everything seemed peaceful. At the park, she heard a mother call a little boy named Tommy and she smirked, wondering if it was the same boy Wesley had put in jail.
Soon after they arrived, Ellen left to go and help take care of a group of children across the park. Malinda would have helped, but Ellen didn’t give her the choice, so she settled herself under the shade of a huge tree to enjoy a book. She read several chapters before Ellen came back.
“Are you ready to go?” Ellen asked, standing in the shade of the large oak tree where Malinda was reading. Ellen’s cheeks were flushed from running across the park to her, and Malinda wondered if her sister would ever stop running in public. Malinda had always liked to run but at least she knew that it should only be done when there weren’t people watching you.
“Yes. Did you have fun with the children?” Malinda could see by her face that she did, but if she was talking about the kids, she wouldn’t be trying to force Malinda into a decision she’d already made.
“I had a wonderful time.” Ellen grinned. “I was holding this sweet baby for most of the time, and when the woman, Ida, came back, I called him a ‘he’. I guess I probably should have checked down the front of her diaper, but I just assumed it was a boy. The baby was bald. I guess it never occurred to me that girls are born bald as well.” She laughed at herself as they walked.
Malinda laughed. “It never occurred to me either, so I guess we’re together in our ignorance of small babies.” She’d never really thought of having a baby before, but she liked the idea of having a little Wesley.
Once they were back at the house, she went up to the spare room where she was sleeping and changed for dinner. She loved dressing up for Wesley. Seeing his eyes light up when she walked into a room made her day.
They had a good dinner, and afterward she went with Wesley into the parlor to talk to him. Somehow, the talking never happened. She had hoped she could get him to agree to marry right away, but to wait to consummate the marriage. But as soon as they sat together on the couch, their lips met and his arms were around her, and all thoughts of anything but him left her mind immediately.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him. His hand skimmed up and down her side, much too close to her breast for comfort. She could tell he wanted to touch it, but it wouldn’t be okay to let him do that, would it?
She was practically sitting in his lap when Ellen and Patrick came into the room. She turned to her sister with a blank look, barely registering she was there. “Hmmm?”
“Patrick and I have been talking, and we’ve made a decision.” Ellen said, watching Malinda.
“What’s that?” Ellen looked guilty and that meant only one thing. They were going to go ahead with the wedding no matter what Malinda’s decision was. The fact that she’d decided to go ahead with the wedding herself made
no difference. Ellen was betraying her.
“We’re getting married tomorrow morning. We’d like the two of you to be there with us.”
Malinda glared at Ellen. “What do you mean you decided? I thought it was a decision for the four of us?” What made Ellen think she had the right to make that kind of decision without her?
Ellen walked to one of the chairs across from the sofa and sat down. “The fact is, I wouldn’t marry Wesley and Patrick wouldn’t marry you. Whether you two get married or not doesn’t change the fact that Patrick and I will get married in the morning.” She looked over at Wesley. “I don’t mean to offend you. You’ll make a wonderful brother to me.”
Malinda was furious. She didn’t want to marry Patrick, but the fact was she’d come out there with all intentions of marrying him, and Ellen was betraying her. “You can’t just announce to me you’re marrying him. He’s my fiancé.” She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at her sister.
“No, he’s not. He’s my fiancé. You don’t have feelings for him, Malinda. You care for Wesley. There’s no need for you to be upset if I marry Patrick.”
Patrick looked at Malinda sympathetically. “It’s true, Malinda. Having spent time getting to know you both, I know that the only woman I have any desire to marry is Ellen. I’m just not interested in you as anything more than a sister.”
Malinda refused to acknowledge Patrick and continued to glare at Ellen until the other couple got up and left the room. She turned to Wesley. “I’m sorry.” It was only then she realized that he’d heard her little tirade. What would he think of her?
Wesley stared at her for a moment. “I thought Ellen was the one who was holding things up. You don’t want to marry me?” He looked hurt, and Malinda immediately felt terrible.
“Of course I want to marry you!” She paused looking down at her hands, trying to find the best way to explain. “I just wanted a little time to get to know you better. I knew from the moment I met you I couldn’t marry Patrick.” She didn’t add that she hadn’t been sure until the previous evening that she had known she could marry him.
Wesley nodded slowly. “So are we going to get married in the morning as well?”
“I think so. I’m pretty sure so.” She closed her eyes for a moment. “I’m confused. Can I let you know in the morning if I’ll marry you tomorrow?” Now he’d hate her. She’d ruined everything between them.
He stood abruptly. “Of course. You can tell me tomorrow. It’s not like it’s my life hanging in the balance, is it? It’s just about you and only you. Why would I care what your answer is?”
He stormed out of the house and she wanted to chase after him, but she just didn’t know what to say. She put her head in her hands and cried. Why did Ellen have to mess things up so badly?
She went straight upstairs to her bedroom, lying on the bed crying until she heard Ellen come up the stairs. She debated for a moment if she wanted to talk to her sister right away or wait until she’d cooled off a bit. Finally she stood and went to her sister’s room, knowing she couldn’t go to sleep until they’d talked it out. She was much too angry.
After Ellen had explained her reasoning, she asked, “Are you going to be at my wedding tomorrow or not?”
“Of course, I’m going to be at your wedding. I wouldn’t miss it.” How could she not go to her only sister’s wedding? No matter what had passed between them, Ellen was her sister and Malinda loved her.
“I’m happy to hear it. For a while there I was certain you were going to ignore nineteen years of sisterhood over money.” Ellen reached out and took Malinda’s hand.
Malinda shook her head, hoping she could make her sister understand it wasn’t about the money at all. “It’s not just that. I’m scared. I care about Wesley. I really do. But I’m not sure that I’m ready to be anyone’s wife.” Her eyes, still red from the tears she’d shed, met Ellen’s.
“I know. I don’t think anyone is ever sure of that. You just have to trust your heart and move on with your life.”
“Aren’t you scared?” Malinda’s eyes searched Ellen’s face, looking for some of the same fear she had inside her.
Ellen looked embarrassed. “Sure, a little. But I know Patrick well enough to know he’d never do anything to hurt me. He cares about me.”
“And I know that about Wesley too, but I talked to Harriett about…well, marital relations. She said the first time really hurts.” But it was more than just what she’d said. It was the look on her face. Malinda could tell that Harriett had held something back from the conversation. As if there were more to it that Malinda wasn’t allowed to know about. “Aren’t you worried about the wedding night?”
“Obviously not as much as you are. When Patrick touches me, I don’t want him to stop. God wouldn’t have made the way to make children pleasurable for just men. Besides, I’ve had friends who have married and they said only good things about the marriage bed. I really don’t think we have anything to be afraid of.”
Malinda bit her lip, which she always did when she was thinking hard about something. “Do you think if I married Wesley tomorrow he’d agree to wait for relations until I felt comfortable with it?”
“I don’t think you should even ask that of him. I think if you marry him, he has every right to expect a wedding night.”
Malinda wondered if Ellen was right. “Well, if I marry him and I’m not having relations with him, I’ll still be cooking and cleaning and doing all the other things he needs his wife to do. I’ll just sleep in his spare bedroom.” If only Ellen would agree with her it wasn’t a bad idea, she’d feel like she could do it. She was too afraid to do anything else.
Ellen laughed. “You wouldn’t like his spare bedroom. Patrick says the mattress is lumpy and almost impossible to sleep on.”
Malinda was certain she could put up with a lumpy mattress better than letting a man do that to her. “Well, I may talk to him about it in the morning before the wedding. I decided to go in my wedding dress just in case I decide to marry him tomorrow as well. It seems unfair that you and Patrick are marrying before Wesley and I are.” She made a face at the thought. How could their double wedding be turning into Ellen getting married while Malinda watched?
“That’s your decision, though. Patrick and I decided we wanted to marry and left it at that. You’re the one dragging your feet.” Ellen looked like she wished she could take the words back as soon as she’d said them.
Malinda stood up. “I’m sorry I was so mean to you about your decision to marry Patrick. I know you care about him, but I know you care about me as well.” How was she going to figure it all out?
Ellen smiled up at her sister. “I’m really glad you’re going to be there when I marry Patrick.”
“How could I miss that? Of course I’ll be there!”
Malinda lay in bed awake, staring at the ceiling most of the night. How could she talk to Wesley about such an embarrassing subject without either blushing or making him angry? There had to be a way. There just had to.
Chapter Five
Malinda woke with a positive attitude the next morning. She’d talk to Wesley about waiting to consummate the marriage, but either way, she was going to marry him that day. She was pretty sure he’d wait because he obviously cared about her, but she was also sure she could handle it if he said no. She just wanted a little longer if he’d agree to it.
She practically danced down the steps for breakfast, extremely excited about her wedding day. As usual, Ellen had already eaten. Alice said she was in the bathtub, so Malinda asked for a bath to be arranged for her as well. She hated the idea of getting ready for her wedding without her sister beside her, but she knew Ellen was getting ready for her own wedding and she didn’t want to disturb her.
She’d finished her bath and was just brushing her hair dry when there was a knock at her door. Wearing just her robe, she opened the door to see Ellen standing there, in her own robe, but her hair done perfectly. She looked better than Malinda had ever
seen her. There was a young red-headed girl beside her.
“Malinda, this is Angela. She’s just finished fixing my hair for me, and I thought maybe you’d like her to do yours as well.”
“Oh, I’d love that!” She pulled the younger girl into her room with her, finding a chair and dragging it to the center of the room. She sat down and smiled. “I was afraid I’d have to try to do my hair myself, and for such an important day, I really wasn’t sure I could do a good job. Thank you so much for helping me!”
Angela nodded. “I’m happy to help,” she said with a soft voice with the musical lilt of an Irish accent.
Not good at talking to strangers the way Ellen was, she sat quietly wondering if she should be talking to the girl doing her hair or just sitting there letting her work her magic. The girl was fast and efficient and seemed happy without talking, so Malinda sat and waited.
When she was done, she looked in the mirror over the dresser and saw her own face light up. “It’s wonderful! Thank you so much!” Her hair had been arranged in a complicated mass of curls on top of her head. She knew she’d never looked as good as she did at that moment. “How did you learn to do this?”
Angela blushed with pleasure and shrugged. “Mum would sometimes do hair for the ladies in town before she died. I watched her, and sometimes practice on the other girls down at the orphanage.”
Malinda’s heart went out to her. “I’ve lost both of my parents as well. It’s hard, isn’t it?” It would have been so much harder without Ellen beside her. “Do you have any brothers or sisters?”
Angela shook her head. “I’m an only child.” She indicated Malinda’s dress on the floor. “Would you like some help putting it on?”
“Would you mind? I’m all thumbs today. It’s not every day a girl gets married.”
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