by Sam Crescent
Duncan didn’t know what was happening. When he’d plunged inside her pussy and felt her resistance he hadn’t thought much of it. Then he’d heard her cry of pain followed by her attack, and it had killed him to know he’d hurt her.
She’d been a virgin. He ran his fingers through his hair. When he glanced down at his shaft he saw the blood from her innocence. He felt like a total scumbag for the way he was treating her. Her innocence annoyed and scared him.
“I’ve never had the chance to be with a man before.” She whispered the words. He looked at her. He saw the embarrassment on her face. He’d have never guessed at her total inexperience with men. He must look like a complete fool. Duncan had never thought for a second she’d be a virgin. Virgins were the no-go territory.
“How could you not have any experience at all?” His anger was scaring her. He saw it, but couldn’t stop his anger rising to the surface. Duncan was horny and downright fucking annoyed. Tess was a virgin. Why wasn’t her father taking better care of her? A woman with her innocence still intact deserved love and flowers. His plan had been to use her to get what he wanted.
“Not everyone sleeps around like you do.” Tears slipped down her face. She hugged the pillow to her like a shield. Did she have no clue that if he wanted her, the pillow would be no protection?
He stopped thinking about taking her. His cock pulsed with the need to be inside her. Duncan knew he couldn’t do it. In the beginning he’d thought she was a woman of experience. With a body like she had, he knew why he’d been misled.
“You’re twenty-three years old. How could you not have had at least one sexual experience? You’re extremely beautiful. Men would be falling at your feet.”
Like you did.
From the moment you saw her, you knew you had to have her.
“That’s all you care about. If a woman’s beautiful she must have had several sexual experiences because she cannot avoid temptation for too long?” Duncan knew how it sounded. He wouldn’t apologise for his own thoughts. He let Tess continue with her speech. “My looks don’t appeal to everyone. I don’t want a man who only cares for what’s on the outside. I’m more than a woman or a shell. You want to know why I was a virgin?”
Duncan nodded his head. Her tears were cutting through to his soul. She looked so distraught.
“I was saving myself for a man who’d appreciate what I’d saved for him. Instead, it was wasted on you. You don’t care what I had. You only see it as a hindrance. You want me because I look the part as your homely wife. That is the only reason you forced me to marry you. I fit the image of the woman you would marry.” The tears fell full force down her cheeks. He ground his teeth together to stop himself from reaching out to her. Every word she spoke was the truth.
Duncan swore causing Tess to flinch at his cruel words. He didn’t like scaring her. Seeing her reaction upset him. Her first sexual experience had turned into an awful encounter, and he’d been the one responsible. His first sexual experience would remain with him always. Her cry of pain would stay with him always.
He got up from the bed to pace. His thoughts were killing him. He was fighting with the need to walk out and not look back and the need to take her. She deserved some happiness. Her father didn’t care about her. He saw that more clearly with every passing second. She had no one in this world looking after her.
Duncan paced oblivious to his nakedness. This changed everything in their agreement. He’d never deflowered a virgin before. It was part of his rules to stay well clear of them. They caused too many problems. He preferred experienced, welcoming women who knew the score. He couldn’t walk away carrying on with his own life like he’d planned. Tess was his responsibility. His to care for.
Every other person in her life had given up on her. The file he’d acquired on her made more sense to him now.
Tess Williams, Tess James, had no one but him.
Duncan stared at her as she laid her head on the pillow with tears seeping out of her eyes. She should have someone to lean on.
His heart broke that little bit more.
He began pacing once again. No matter how much he thought or paced, he’d hate the way this night panned out.
He stopped in his pacing when he heard Tess moving. He turned and saw she’d gotten a robe to cover herself. She appeared so small and fragile, compared to moments ago when he was about to make love to her. Her hair was a rumpled mess. She still looked as sexy as sin. He wanted her so bad. But there was something else inside him that he couldn’t describe.
The desire to rub his chest was strong. His heart ached for the woman before him. There was so much that needed to be said. Instead, she stood with her head bowed waiting for him to talk.
He wished he knew the answers.
Duncan shook his head. His thoughts were threatening to drown him in a sea of emotion.
“I’ll go to another room for tonight. You need your rest.” Duncan went to her capturing her face between his hands. He stared into her tear-stained gaze. “We’ll talk tomorrow. Get some sleep.” He kissed her head then left the room. Duncan didn’t trust himself to spend the night with her. He felt too raw at the situation already.
You’re falling in love with her.
Like so many times before, he cut the thought off.
****
Tess watched him go. She walked into the bathroom and ran herself a bath. In many of the books it said a warm bath would ease any pain. The tears dropped off her cheeks. She let them. It had been way too long since she’d cried. When there was enough water in the bath, she dropped the robe and got inside.
She eased back allowing the heat to do its job.
Once the bath was finished she got out, dried, and wore the robe to bed. She lay curled up on the side of the bed where they had begun to make love. She felt so alone. Her father had never spent the time to tell her these things. With no mother either, she’d been on her own in everything. Up until that moment she’d never felt as alone as she did now. Duncan was the first man she’d let pass through her defences.
Her heart ached for what had happened. She refused to believe she could love a man who hated her innocence. Her pillow was little comfort. As she lay on the bed, she knew there was no one else to hold her. For the first time in her life she craved the touch of someone else. Where was her white knight?
No answers came to her. She cried throughout the night wondering what was wrong with her. What had she done wrong, and why was her inexperience such a problem?
When sleep refused to come she got up and went to the window. The moonlit sky greeted her. She held onto her pillow hoping for peace to claim her. The stars began to disappear as she thought about her night with Duncan. In all her life she’d never behaved with such wild abandon.
It was the first time she finally let go, and she felt as if she’d been cast aside. Tess watched the sun come up basking in the light morning glow. She heard people moving around the house, but she didn’t want to see or speak to anyone; so she stayed sitting in her robe looking over the grounds.
Vibrant flowers in a variety of colours covered the gardens. It was a summer wonderland, the smells so wonderful and romantic. She saw a patio in the middle of so much beauty. She thought it would be the perfect location for a wonderful romantic meal for two.
Romance, she thought.
Something she wouldn’t be experiencing for some time.
She laid her hand against the window pain. The hours passed by. Tess refused to move from the spot. Her pillow was her only lifeline.
Chapter Twelve
When Duncan had woken the following morning, he’d walked past his bedroom and gone straight to his office. He’d struggled to sleep after the nightmare the night before. Tess didn’t make an appearance, and he left her. At around lunchtime his housekeeper, Grace, walked in. She slammed his coffee tray down on the desk.
“What’s the matter?” he asked not taking his eyes away from the screen.
“What’s the matter? You�
�ve been married less than twenty-four hours, and you’ve managed to ruin that poor girl upstairs.” Grace had her hands on her hips.
“Tess is fine. Feed her something.” He shook his hand at her dismissing her.
“She’s not come out of your room. The gardener has come to the kitchen to tell me a black haired woman is sitting in a robe at the bedroom window. She’s holding a pillow.”
Duncan stared at Grace. “She hasn’t come out of the room at all?”
“No. She doesn’t even respond to the knocks on the door.”
He ran fingers through his hair.
“I’ll go and talk to her.”
“You’d better. She’s not like your usual women. You treat this one with care. I don’t care how much it takes. I’ve got a sixth sense for this kind of thing. Treat her well, and you’ll reap the benefits. Do you understand?”
Grace had been one of the few women who refused to be pushed around by him. He adored her loving nature and the way she wasn’t afraid to say what she thought. Duncan found her briskness refreshing after spending quite a bit of time with men who liked to kiss his ass. Duncan nodded his head then made his way up to the bedroom. He saw it was lunchtime already.
He opened the door to his bedroom. Tess sat at the window, the pillow clutched in her fingers. She looked smaller than the night before. One of her legs peeked out of the end of the robe. For several minutes he looked at her leg remembering the feel of her underneath him. Then her scream permeated his mind cutting off his thoughts. He closed the door noisily making her aware of his presence.
He saw her stiffen, but she remained sat looking out the window.
“You’ve not been down for breakfast,” he said, folding his arms. She kept her gaze out the window.
“I’m not hungry,” she said, pulling her robe more tightly around her.
Duncan was entering new territory, and he didn’t like it. She didn’t acknowledge his presence at all.
“Starving yourself is childish and ridiculous.” He didn’t know what else to say.
“I’m not hungry. If I were, then I’d eat, but I’m not hungry.” Her attention remained out of the window.
He rubbed his eyes. He didn’t know what to do. Last night had been one of the worst night’s sleep he’d ever experienced. Her cry of pain still echoed around his head. His beautiful wife, a virgin—he still found it hard to believe.
They’d been close last night. The chemistry had burned brighter between them. Yet, all that passion was dead at the moment. He felt lost with the way she blanked him.
“We need to talk about last night,” he said as he moved closer to where she sat at the window. The closer he got the tenser she became. Her fingers were white-knuckled on the pillow she held in her hands.
“No, we don’t need to talk about it. I was a virgin last night. Then you pushed inside me, and now I’m not. You didn’t like it, so you left. Fine. There is nothing else to discuss.” She kept her head turned away from him. He couldn’t see what she was thinking about or how his reactions last night had affected her. Her voice held all the hurt.
She thought he didn’t like it. It was far from the truth. He’d liked her innocence too damn much.
“I reacted too harshly,” he said. Tess snorted interrupting him.
“Don’t worry about it. They say when you lose your virginity it should be a memorable night. I can promise you last night will be hard to forget.”
He physically winced at her words. All his lovers had praised him on his skills in the bedroom. Duncan had spent years learning the art of love. He liked being a generous, considerate lover. For the first time ever the woman who happened to be his wife had commented on his lack of skill.
Duncan knew he’d need to make it up to her. She deserved to have a night to remember. First, he needed to build their relationship. There was no way he was letting her go. He’d taken one of the most precious things a woman had to offer. For the rest of his and her life he’d make it up to her.
Last night would be forever seared in his mind. His lack of finesse wasn’t surprising as he’d never taken a virgin to his bed.
He needed to make it up to her for now. Everything else would fall into place. At the moment he needed to repair the damage of his words. He knelt at her feet waiting for her to turn and acknowledge his closeness. She kept her body averted from him. Even when she’d gone to beg for his help with her father she’d been more open than now. In the end he cupped her cheek and turned her face to look at him.
Tears fell from her eyes cutting him to the core.
“I’m sorry I hurt you last night. I never expected to be given such a gift. I should never have reacted like that. I feel the world I live in has made me cynical about the opposite sex.”
“That’s not fair, Duncan. I have nothing to do with your life. I’m not some woman who wants this lifestyle. I only agreed to this to save my father.” He watched as she tried to pull away from him. Her tears falling thicker and faster as his words hurt her.
“I know you’re not like anyone else. We’ll get through this. Please, forgive me.” He’d never begged a woman for anything in his life. Not even his own mother. She stared at him then nodded her head. He watched as she took a deep breath closing her eyes for a second.
“All right, I’m fine.”
“So can we start over?” he asked.
****
Tess nodded her head. What else could she do? He was giving her a peace offering. If she didn’t agree, she risked living a life filled with unhappiness, or she walked away causing problems for her father. This marriage had been her decision. She wasn’t prepared to live her marriage hating every second of it.
She’d been right to keep her virginity. Next time she wouldn’t let passion get in the way. No man was going near her again.
“I can start over.”
“Great.” He went to touch her knee, and she pulled away. The less he touched her, the better she’d be. She lifted her leg under the robe. He remained by her side kneeling. “Will you join us downstairs?” he asked. “Grace is having a fit at your lack of presence.”
“Who’s Grace?”
“The housekeeper. I guess last night was rushed, and she missed the introductions.”
“I guess.”
“Well, Grace is my housekeeper, and Gerald is the older guy who handles everything else.”
Tess nodded her head. “I’ll get dressed and follow you down.”
He cupped her cheek. “I really am sorry.”
She waited unsure what to say to ease his mind.
Once Duncan had left Tess allowed herself to have a long, leisurely shower. She needed to scrub the pain from the night before away. Her heart ached in ways she’d never expected.
The hot water cascaded over her. It was wonderful. The water sprayed over the top of her giving her time to ease her mental pain. While she listened to the water fall she washed her body.
Once the tension eased out of her and she began to relax Tess got out of the shower washing down the walls before she left the bathroom. She went in search of some clothes. Grace had told her Duncan had purchased plenty of clothes for her to use when Grace had shown her to her room. She went to the wardrobe to find her stuff. His clothes hung at one end of the closet while hers hung on the opposite side. Tess dressed in casual jeans and a plain T-shirt.
They fit snugly. She didn’t want to think of him knowing her size.
It was around one when she finally made it downstairs to the kitchen to see Grace standing with a bowl at the kitchen counter. She was peeling some vegetables.
Tess watched her for several moments before making her presence known. She’d not seen another woman working a kitchen.
“You’re finally awake,” Grace said before Tess made a move.
“How did you know I was standing there?” she asked moving into the kitchen.
“I know a lot of things, Tess. Come in, sit.”
Tess suppressed her wince. Grace obviously tho
ught her lack of presence at breakfast had something to do with her being a recently married couple. She didn’t have the heart to tell the other woman she’d in fact been up all night dealing with the bitter rejection of her husband after he had found out he’d married a virgin and not an experienced woman.
“Sorry I missed breakfast—” Grace cut her off with a wave of her hand. The older woman gestured to the seat in front of her.
“Nonsense, love. I didn’t expect you down immediately this morning anyway. Duncan said that you’d probably skip breakfast and have a late lunch instead.” The rest of Grace’s words were drowned out by the pounding in Tess’s head. There were so many lies in place Tess didn’t know how she’d be able to keep on top of all of them. Why had Duncan come for her if he’d already told his housekeeper that she wouldn’t be down? None of it made any sense.
So why did he come to seek me out?
“You and Duncan are not fooling anyone,” Grace said.
Tess looked up. The older woman picked up a carrot and offered it to her along with a peeler. She took them. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t look so scared.” Graced turned her back to grab another peeler. “I’ve known Duncan all my life. He’s never been good at keeping secrets. Gerald and I know this isn’t a love match.”
She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “How do you know?”
“When a woman is married and on her wedding night spends most of the night and early part of the day crying into her pillow, it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. I’m happy to play along though.”
Tess swiped the peeler down the carrot. She didn’t say a word.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything, sweetie. Just by looking at you I feel you’ve not had a decent break.” Tess kept her eyes down. If she gave in to more tears she’d break. “I’m not going to pry. Even if I want to know what’s going on inside that mind of yours.”
“You’re the first person to not want to know.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t want to know. I merely said I’d wait until you were ready to talk. There is a difference.” Grace took the carrot from her then handed her another one. “I feel we’re a lot like carrots. Sometimes, with certain people, we need to peel off the bad parts to get to the good.”