I learned from my mother to internalize pain. To numb it with liquor, with weed. I tried so hard to get away from her, but I still became her. I became her with Bassirou.
“I was always singing.” I smile a little, thinking about the little bit of light in my otherwise dark existence as a child. Singing was my solace. It became my way out. It was my freedom.
“I hear that in your voice,” he says quietly. “It’s an incredible thing, your voice.”
It’s the first thing he’s said and I peek up at him, expecting him to have a judgmental look on his face. I expect him to be thinking the worst of me. I don’t expect the warmth and acceptance I see shining in his eyes.
“Is it?” I ask awkwardly, trying to laugh off how weird I feel to have shared so much.
He nods. “It’s one of the things that drew me to you. Music is my passion and jazz especially, but I wanted to know how you made me feel.”
It’s a huge compliment. I’ve wanted to share myself with people. Maybe not the story of me, not the ugly, horrid bits, but I’ve wanted people to understand. Music helped me do that.
“That was hard.” He’s studying me.
I nod, swallowing hard. “I don’t like to tell these stories.”
He grins. “Nope, you deflect with humor. Bad humor.”
I laugh. “What does the sign on the outside of an out-of-business brothel say?”
His eyes search my face. My heart starts to pound a little.
“What?” he asks.
“Beat it. We’re closed,” I tell him in French. He looks at me lost, shaking his head slightly. I tell him in English. I toss my head back and laugh, loving the feeling of it.
He chuckles. “Where do you come up with this stuff?”
I shrug. “Heard ‘em over the years, remembered them. Want to hear another?”
“Hit me,” he says.
“Why was the guitar teacher arrested?” I study his face, watching him think my words over before giving up.
“Why?”
“For fingering a minor.”
“Topical,” he murmurs as I laugh. It feels good to just be me with this guy. “I remember one from when I was a kid,” he says and I pay close attention.
“Why does Santa have such a big sack?”
“Easy,” I say, rolling my eyes. “He only comes once a year.” My gaze drops. I wonder why he’s been holding back. After that explosive exchange, we’d had the night of my performance a while back, I’d expected more hands-on time with him. But he’s been respectful.
He nods. “You got me.”
Feeling the misery of the talk and his need to keep his hands to himself, I get up and head toward my bag. “I met up with a local today,” I say, grabbing the baggie of weed from my suitcase where I’d tucked it earlier so the cleaning people wouldn’t come across it.
Dangling it from two fingers, I shake it at him. “What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?” I ask.
He’s studying me closely and I don’t bother waiting for him to ask this time before answering. “A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.”
I can’t hide behind humor forever. All the ugly thoughts that we stirred up are circling like sharks in my brain, and I need to silence them.
“Join me?” I ask. “I’m going to smoke, then take a bath. You’re welcome to join on the first part, but not the second part,” I say, laughing at the thought of us both in the tub together. That would get awkward, even in the garden style tub. It’s not designed for two people.
He swallows hard, then nods.
I breathe a sigh of relief, ready to just turn my brain off and forget the pain of the day. I’m ready to let it go and just not deal with it for the rest of the night. Tomorrow, it’ll be better, and I’ll know that talking about things doesn’t make me feel better.
“Perfect,” I say, pulling out the paper to roll a joint and silently cursing my trembling fingers.
Chapter Thirteen: Hayden
She comes out of the bathroom, all wrapped up in a big, fluffy towel, her hair piled up on her head. Her skin is shining and beautiful and she looks refreshed and incredible.
I step toward her, loving how her pulse jumps at the base of her throat. Touching her chin, I lift her face an inch and lower my lips to hers.
Her arms come around my neck, and I feel the towel slip to the ground between us. Pressing my palms flat to her ample backside, I enjoy the way she moans into my mouth.
I’m hard, ready to bury myself deep in her. I’ve done my best to hold back. I’ve come to realize I enjoy her as a human being and I was right; the things she told me had zero effect on how I feel about her.
The warmth of her skin sinks into my shirt and heats up my chest as her lips leave mine. Her hands find the hem of my shirt, and she hauls it off and drops it on the floor next to us. I watch her eyes lock on mine as she kisses my chin, then my chest, then down the tight lines of my stomach.
I grab her shoulders and lift her, needing to feel my lips on hers again. The kiss is hungry, savage, even, and I begin to urge her back toward the bed. I need her. I crave her. I’m tired of keeping myself in check. I want to relieve this ache I feel.
She drops on the edge of the bed. “You need to know something else,” she says. Her green eyes are trained on directly me.
“I know all I need to know, Sabine.” I bend down and try to kiss her, but she pulls away. She cups my face in her hands.
“I am a virgin.” The last word comes out of her mouth in two pronounced syllables.
I’m stunned. She looks away. “I have never trusted a boy. Ever.”
I sit next to her and run my hand softly across her beautiful face.
“But I want to be with you,” she says, and I’m overwhelmed. I’m so into her right now.
“I will never hurt you,” I whisper in her ear. I kiss the nape of her neck and undo the towel.
I lay her back on the bed. I take a moment to look at her body, her breasts, her thighs, her legs. She knows what I’m doing and she opens up, lifting her arms above her head and spreading her legs slightly.
I quickly free my belt and whisk my pants down. I lean toward the nightstand to grab a condom and before I can react, her lips are around the head of my cock, and I’m squeezing my eyes closed and groaning in pleasure.
When I glance down at her, her incredible green eyes are locked on me. Her lips slide sexily down the length of my cock until she wraps a hand around the base and uses her hand as a buffer.
With several quick tugs she’s got me so hard I see stars. “Stop,” I demand. I know that if I don’t stop her now, it’s over before it begins. It’s so good.
She releases the tip of my cock with a satisfying pop before flattening her tongue to give it a lick. It’s my turn. I want to taste her. I drop the condom and make my way down between her legs and spread her. I gently kiss her inner thighs. Her hips begin to buck, and she grabs hold of the sheets. I can see her moisture and start to lap at her wetness. She arches her back as I taste her fully for the first time. I hear her moan with pleasure.
I spread the lips of her vagina open to expose her clit. I begin to flick her clit with my tongue. Gently at first and then more intensely taking her pussy in my mouth.
She is writhing. “Please,” I hear her say. She has her eyes shut, while her hips are thrusting to meet my tongue. “Oui. Oui,” she mutters.
I back off a little and rip open the foil wrapper of the condom. She watches with a hungry look in her eyes as I unroll the condom over my length.
She crawls backward up on the bed, scooting away from me. Her thighs fall apart, and in an instant, I take in her beautiful pussy, her pillowy breasts, her curvy body. She’s fucking beautiful.
I climb on her. Her soft body feels incredible under mine, and I press a kiss to her throat. Then I kiss her neck and whisper in her ear. “Trust me,” I say. I look her in the eyes. She stares at me with hunger and apprehension and desire.
All she can
do is nod.
Her legs grip my hips and I push toward her. Pressing into her welcoming warmth, I feel her breath hitch.
“You’re fucking amazing,” I say.
I press into her, feeling her body stretch to accommodate me as I push home. Her hips buck up into me, and her sweet scent surrounds me. She is breathing hard.
“I kiss her gently and break through her hymen. I feel her nails dig into my back, feel them drag along my skin, the sting only heightening the sensation overload. My teeth sink into her shoulder, and her back arches up into me as she moans.
Our bodies find a natural rhythm, a give and take as I demand more and more of her. Her breaths tickle my ear, and her hands find my face. She pulls me into a deep kiss now, her tongue battling mine as I thrust into her. I can feel her heart pounding against my chest. Her fingers slide through my hair before moving back to grip my shoulders.
We break the kiss, and I hear her gasping for air as I bury my face between her breasts. “I love your body,” I let out, suckling her nipple into my mouth.
Suddenly she bucks. I pull up unto my arms as she caresses her breasts, her eyes shut.
“Prends-moi,” she says. I don’t understand. “Baise-moi. Baise-moi!” That I understand. I lift her legs and lock them into place around my arms, opening her fully. She is thrusting toward me, squeezing her hardened nipples.
Her erratic motions warn me she’s close even as her pussy flutters around me. She takes her hands from her tits and starts to feel my chest and abs.
“You’re there,” I tell her, meeting her green eyes. “Come for me.”
Her lips open in a perfect o and pleasure and sweet agony.
“Look at me,” I say. “Come.” I want to see those beautiful green eyes at the moment of her ecstasy. I know she is about to explode. She wants to look away but I want to stare deeply into her eyes. I take my hand and hold her face to me.
“Fort,” she says, breathless. “Harder. Harder.” I feel her walls clamp tightly around me as she shudders. I thrust deeper and my balls slap against her. She turns flush and her she explodes, letting out a guttural scream. I’m looking directly at her, her beautiful face erupting in pleasure. I keep fucking her hard, trying to extend the orgasm. She’s bucking, heaving, and her legs and hips are contracting.”
I can’t hold it. This is mind-blowing. The thought of being the first man to explore this beautiful women’s inner sanctum overwhelms me. I explode into the barrier between us, feeling the flood of pleasure as I collapse into her.
“Give me a second,” I whisper, kissing her forehead.
Shaking my head, I laugh a little while cleaning up in the bathroom. When I head back out, she’s stretched out in bed, looking more at peace than I’ve seen her in a long time. Trying not to disturb her, I slip into bed and pull the blankets over both of us. Instantly she curls into me and rests her head on my shoulder.
“You’re good … in the bed,” she murmurs.
“Right back at ya,” I say lightly, lifting my head to plant a kiss on her forehead. A sleepy smile crosses her beautiful lips. Lips that had been wrapped around my cock only a little while ago.
Fuck.
I’m in trouble.
“Sleep now,” she says, reaching out like she’s going to pat my shoulder. Instead, she pats my face, then rests her palm on my eyes and nose. With a grin, I move her hand to my chest. Her breaths deepen and I take a moment to study her. After everything she told me today, I feel like I’m seeing her for the first time. Or maybe that’s the post-orgasm bitch brain getting to me.
Whatever it is, she’s fucking amazing. Messed up, damaged, but not broken and fucking beautiful.
Chapter Fourteen: Sabine
I wake up, sliding a hand between the sheets in search of Hayden. His warmth is here, his scent is here, but the man is not. I inhale deeply, loving the smell of his cologne, his warm skin, and the lingering hint of sex.
Lifting my head, I hear the shower running and roll onto my back as the last bit of sleep fog leaves my brain. We go home today.
Staring up at the ceiling, I groan and throw an arm over my eyes. I don’t want to go home. I don’t want to face the music with Bassirou. I have no idea what he’s done while I’ve been gone, but I have a feeling it’s not anything good.
“Good morning,” Hayden says, strolling into the room with a towel wrapped low around his hips. He walks right over and plants a kiss on my lips.
“Non. I have morning breath, stop it,” I say, shoving him away.
“Like I give a damn,” he growls, kissing me again.
“I care.” Shoving him away, I giggle as he stops and grabs a slice of the pizza he’d ordered for dinner last night. I’d asked for it, and we ate half of it. He bites into his, letting it hang from his mouth as he offers me a slice.
“I could order something fresh,” he says, pulling the pizza back when I reach for it.
“I’ll tear your damn arm off—” I threaten as he hands me the food. My stomach grumbles and I take a bite as he eats his. I want to tell him I’ve had fun with him. That I don’t regret anything; even opening up to him and sharing the sordid details of my past.
“Do you think anyone recognized us?” I ask, worried that the world might have seen us and that we might be tabloid fodder.
“I don’t give a damn,” he says.
Stunned, I stare at him. His eyes are locked on me as I finish my pizza.
“I’m not ashamed to be seen with you. Hell, let the world think we’re a couple. Doesn’t hurt my self-image one bit. I’m a damn lucky man,” he gives me a wolfish grin. He edges closer to me. “Making love to you was special, Sabine. Being your first is something special.” I can’t tell this not a joke.
“I mean it,” he says, but I already know he does.
My heart is slamming in my chest as I struggle to wrap my head around his words. He leans in, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “Want me to order breakfast?” he asks, his eyes sliding back and forth between mine. His low voice sends a shiver down my spine, and I can’t help but be hungry for something else.
As if he’s reading my mind, his eyes narrow. “Is there something else I can do for you?” he growls, and my whole body reacts to him. Tingling pleasure warms every inch of my skin, and I feel goosebumps racing down my arms.
His lips meet mine, and I melt into him.
My whole body wants him. But he seems to have other ideas. He gently pressures me back before burying his face between my legs. I cry out in shock as his lips press firmly to me and his tongue flicks over my clit.
He parts me with gentle hands, and I feel his lips form a seal around my sensitive little nub before his tongue begins to circle and slash the spot. My hips buck and he presses a palm flat to my belly as if to stop me from moving.
I grab bed sheets and I bite my lip to keep from crying out. Somehow, he draws a response out of me, pulls it from deep inside and leaves me trembling and unable to do more than whimper and spasm as pleasure screams through my core.
The wet sounds of his mouth on me are intoxicating and my hands grope for his head.
“Plus fort,” I manage to moan.
Holding onto him, I feel my legs trying to close as the pressure of his mouth starts to become too much. As if he’s reading my every move, he eases off a little bit and the trembling in my legs increases as the pleasure becomes overwhelming.
My belly is coiled up tight and I’m struggling to breathe as the sensations mount. He gives a little hum of approval and it lights up every nerve in my body. The whole world flashes brilliant white as pleasure shatters.
I vaguely hear him talking to me as ripples of pleasure race outward through my body from my center out toward the tips of my fingers and toes. On the heels of the pleasure is a relaxing warmth and all the worry and stress melts away.
There’s only this moment. There’s only Hayden. “Oui.” It’s all I can say.
“You taste so sweet, so good,” he murmurs, pressing a wet kiss to my
inner thigh. He lifts his head and gives me a sexy stare that’s heart-stopping.
Holding my gaze with his own, he plants another damp kiss on my thigh, closer to the heart of me this time. My legs are trembling so hard I have no idea how I don’t accidentally smack him in the face with it.
“I need a shower,” I whisper.
“Your attempts to be sexy are so incredible,” he says with a quick grin.
“Did it work?” I ask.
“Fuck yes,” he says, burying his face in me once more. I yelp in shock, and he backs right off.
“Sorry, you wanted to take a shower.” He stands up and offers me his hand.
“And you should wash your face,” I say, giving him a look.
His grin flashes again. “Should I?” he asks in a lofty tone that tells me he’s still teasing. His humor puts me at ease. What could be awkward is instead fun. We go from zero to sixty and back to fun, and it feels right.
I head for the bathroom with him a step behind. “I know you’re staring at my ass,” I say, glancing at him over my shoulder.
He nods. “It’s an amazing ass, can you blame me?” he asks, his eyes only meeting mine for a second before dropping to my backside once more.
Warmth floods every inch of me.
In the bathroom, he runs water and grabs a facecloth while I turn on the shower and step under the hot spray. And just like that, all the worries and concerns come back. What is Bassirou going to do? Or what has he done? I find myself wishing I’d saved some weed to help calm my nerves today.
I could drink, sure. I’m sure I could ask Hayden to get some vodka from room service. That would cut this stress down. Rinsing all the sleep heat and sex smell from my body, I remind myself I wanted this. I wanted the freedom. I wanted to walk away from him and assert my independence. But before the trip, all those consequences were far away. Now they’re here, on my doorstep and I don’t know how to handle them.
“Are you ready to go?” Hayden asks.
I shrug before realizing he can’t see me behind the shower curtain. “I think so.” No. No, I’m not. Can we stay here forever and never go home and face things?
Tech Titans: The Complete Billionaire Romance Series Page 16