Now the reason I started thinking about Kitty’s butler on the cruise ship was because it seemed like I had my very own butler in the form of Tanya. Okay, she didn’t dance with me, but she more or less attended every whim. In fact, she was so attentive sometimes I had to ask her to take a step back. She wouldn’t let me do anything. She was up well before me, and had all John’s bottles made up and ready for the day, had the apartment looking like a brand-new pin, as well as having the coffee made and the eggs boiled as soon as I got up. Sometimes she would even bring me breakfast in bed. She was an absolute treasure. It was like having my very own butler although I wasn’t wealthy – far from it in fact. I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve this wonderful person in my home. In contrast to the last au pair who’d always looked like she was carrying the world’s worries on her shoulders, Tanya smiled morning, noon and night. John adored her and I found myself feeling normal again after the whirlwind of my pregnancy and then the months since I had become a mother. I had wind in my sails now and I couldn’t wait to go back to work. I knew I could trust Tanya with John and that I wouldn’t be feeling guilty about leaving him behind. Well, hopefully not too guilty.
Anyway, going back to work full-time would surely help raise my self-esteem a bit. I longed to have a purpose again besides being just a mummy to John. I know that might sound awful but I really felt like I had lost myself somewhat. And while I was grateful for having found a new friend in Sheelagh, she was getting on with her baking business, and I yearned for office gossip and working to deadlines again. And I needed to get back in the office and in a position to hang on to my job. I knew that the recession had hit hard, especially in the media, and it wasn’t the fun place it used to be to work. Magazines were worried sick about losing advertisers and readers, so keeping their in-house stylists happy was the least of their worries. We were very much a replaceable breed anyway. It didn’t take a genius to work that out.
Tanya seemed to enjoy her nights off. She would go out late and stay out late but, no matter how long she stayed out, it never seemed to have any effect on her mood or her work the next day. She was always the same bright breezy bubbly girl from morning to night. She
didn’t drink alcohol, not even a drop. She told me she didn’t believe that people should put their hard-earned money down their throat when all it did was make them act foolishly and then ensure they were ill the following morning. She said that her father had drunk too much
when she was growing up and that he had been selfish, only thinking of himself. She said she didn’t have to drink to have a good time. The girls from the Secret Nanny Club all seemed to be great friends. Tanya never was short of company. She would spend all her evenings off with them. I told Tanya that she was more than welcome to invite the girls
around to watch a DVD and have some supper for them one night, but she said that probably wouldn’t happen because all the girls lived either in the city centre or the north side of the city and that Bray was a bit too far out for them to travel to. But she thanked me profusely for the offer all the same.
My father once told me that if something seemed too good to be true it usually was. And although I berated myself for it, I sometimes wondered how somebody as beautiful and as hard-working as Tanya was working in my apartment for mere pocket money. Most au pairs became au pairs to learn a language but Tanya’s command of the language was excellent. She could have easily got a job in one of the top restaurants earning great tips instead of scrubbing my floors (her choice, not mine!) and changing dirty nappies. But when I said this to her, she shook her head and said she didn’t want to be working in restaurants until all hours of the night serving drunks. She said she was happy living with me. She also said she liked living in Bray because of the sea and she would never be able to afford her own place in such a nice town. She told me that where she came from there was no sea, just a lake a couple of miles away, and it had always been a dream of hers to live by the sea. The way she explained it to me so simply made me wonder why I ever questioned her. I also wondered how on earth Joanne and her husband had treated this gem of a girl so badly. Really, how could they have been so cruel! Oh well, I thought, their loss would be my gain. I
would treasure Tanya until the day she inevitably would want to leave and go elsewhere. I had already begun to dread that day.
Then for some crazy reason I found myself on the internet one night, looking to be distracted for a while before bed. I’m trying to stay away from eBay as it is so addictive and I always buy things I don’t need from that site when I’m bored. I had gone off Facebook a bit too because people kept putting up all these inspirational quotes, and if I wanted inspirational quotes I’d spend my time visiting self-help sites. I’m not on Twitter either although everyone seems to rave about it. Maybe I’m missing out but I’m prepared to forego the pleasure. I’ve got an addictive personality as it is without tweeting about my mundane life to people who probably wouldn’t be that interested anyway. But, for whatever reason, I found myself on this last-minute travel website and I saw a very cheap deal to the Costa del Sol for two adults – and an infant! Now I checked quickly to see if the room was a double or a twin and to my delight I saw that the deal offered a double room in a one-bed apartment and that there was a separate sofa bed in the living room. The flights were going out the following day to Malaga so I knew that if I didn’t snap up the deal fast somebody else would.
My heart beating with excitement, I tiptoed over to Tanya’s room and knocked gently on her bedroom door. I presumed that she was still up since the light was still on.
“Come in,” she called breezily.
I apologised for disturbing her and sat down at the end of her bed. I proposed the holiday and she was initially surprised but then seemed over the moon at the suggestion.
“And you’re sure you don’t mind sleeping on the sofa bed?” I asked.
“Of course not! That’s fine with me,” she insisted. “I am looking forward to topping up my tan. I’ve never been to the Costa del Sol! This is so exciting.”
I was over the moon. This summer had been a washout so far. I could barely afford it but I felt if I didn’t feel the sun on my face soon I was going to have a breakdown. I needed to get away to save my sanity!
“Okay, I’ll book it,” I said. “Goodnight, Tanya. I’ll chat to you in the morning.”
I closed her bedroom door and then went back to my computer and booked the trip straight away. It really was an excellent deal and I was so excited about getting on a plane and escaping the dreary rain. Normally when you book a holiday you have to wait a few agonising weeks before actually going on it. But this was different. Within twenty-four hours I’d be somewhere hot.Yippee!
I was so glad I’d decided to get John’s passport done a few weeks earlier. He looked very cute in his little baby passport photo. I placed it along with mine in my handbag. I was wide awake now and knew I wouldn’t be able to go to sleep with all this adrenalin running through my veins. I took my old suitcase out from under my bed, dusted it off and started packing. Unfortunately I knew I wouldn’t be able to fit into my swimsuit from my pre-pregnancy days but hopefully I’d be able to buy a nice new one over in Spain. I packed some sarongs and kaftans and a couple of pairs of elasticated gypsy skirts as well as some XL T-shirts. I packed some little T-shirts and light shorts for Baby John. Because he was under two and not taking up a seat on the plane (he’d have to sit on my lap), I wasn’t allowed pack a suitcase for him too. It was a bit of a struggle trying to fit all of our clothes into a single suitcase – babies have so much equipment – but after taking out a pair of sandals and two heavy books I was finally able to push down the top of the case and zip it up.
I was so lucky that Tanya was coming on the holiday too as I don’t think I would have had the courage to take John by myself. That night I hardly slept. I was afraid that my alarm clock wouldn’t go off at the time set. I had to be up early to get dressed and ready and get John dressed and ready an
d get us all to the Aircoach stop in Bray. We would have to allow for morning traffic so we’d need to leave ourselves a good two hours to get to the airport. It started raining as soon as I locked the front door of my apartment. Just our luck! I pulled the hood over John’s pram and we made our way to the stop. Fortunately a coach came by within ten minutes so we didn’t get too wet. The driver put John’s pram underneath, gave us our tickets and soon we were off. I was ridiculously excited to be getting out of the country, away from the wind and the rain. It had been really gloomy and depressing recently. It would be so nice to walk around the place in sundresses and vest tops.
The coach stopped and started a bit, picking up various travellers on the way but after O’Connell Street it was a straight run to the airport. We arrived in plenty of time and went to find our check-in desk. There were two fairly long queues of people for our holiday-operator desks but the check-in agents seemed to be going through the passengers fairly quickly and soon we were at the top of the queue.
“Aisle or window?” the friendly girl at the desk asked.
“Aisle, please,” I said.
Normally, when I flew, I liked to be by the window to see out. I especially love flying into a hot foreign country when I can see the beaches on the approach, but today I had John and no doubt he would need to be changed at least once during the flight so I wanted to disturb the least amount of people.
“And could we possibly sit towards the back of the plane?” I turned towards Tanya and muttered under my breath, “There are two toilets down the back so the odds are better if we need to change John in a hurry.”
She gave me a knowing wink.
It was a bit of a struggle going through security. It was normally bad enough anyway what with having to take off your shoes and your belt and put all your loose coins along with your mobile phone and laptop onto one of those tray things. But when you had a pram with you, it was even trickier. I breathed a huge sigh of relief when we had finally gone through. Now I wanted a drink! In the past, any time I’d been at Dublin airport I had always felt as though I was on my holidays once I was past security and usually hit the bar straight away. But now as I passed the bar full of lively punters and their jars I felt a slight pang that I wouldn’t be joining them. John needed to be fed and changed and I had to buy a few last-minute things in Boots such as nappies and Calpol. I had also managed to forget John’s soother so I needed to buy another one as well.
I told Tanya that I’d meet her at the departure gate thirty minutes before take-off. There was no point us all hanging out of each other, and I was sure Tanya wouldn’t mind browsing around the airport shops, the way I used to love to do before I became a harried mum!
After I had got John in and out of the changing area I wheeled the pram down to the boarding gate at my leisure. For the first time in my life I was well on time for a flight. Normally I would spend ages in the bookshops and time trying on perfumes, before knocking back a couple in the Irish-themed bar to soak in the atmosphere, and then rushing towards the boarding gate in a panic.
When I got to the gate even I was surprised to see I was the first to arrive. That was weird, I thought. Surely not everyone on our flight was in the bar or shopping for gifts? Then I checked the flight screens and my heart sank as I did so. Well, damn it anyway our flight was almost three hours delayed! There was nothing to do but wait. I got a can of Sprite
out of a nearby vending machine and then sat down and sent Tanya a text to tell her the bad news. She immediately replied saying that she knew, and would I mind if she got her hair and nails done in the airport salon while we waited?
No problem, I texted back. I was surprised that she was treating herself. Then again, why not? She was going on holidays and I hadn’t given her any notice to prepare herself. Mind you, I hadn’t done anything myself apart from taking a razor quickly to both legs in the bath last night after confirming my booking. I had neither the time nor the money to buff and preen myself the way I used to!
An hour passed and when John fell asleep I wheeled the pram over to the newsagent’s and bought a copy of Hello!to flick through the glossy pictures. I always justified spending money on magazines by convincing myself that I was doing research. I went and sat down and was halfway through reading a story on Victoria Beckham when I noticed Tanya sitting opposite me flicking through American Vogue. With her hair beautifully coiffed and her talons painted, she looked immaculate. I felt very shoddy in comparison in my old Dunnes Stores sundress, chipped nails and dull, lank hair – I wished that I’d got up an hour earlier this morning to wash and blow-dry it. She looked up and smiled at me. “That was so relaxing,” she said. “I bet it was! You look great.”
“I feel great. There’s nothing like letting other people pamper you to make you feel like you are on top of the world. They are not very busy and we have still got a couple of hours to kill. Why don’t you go off for a massage or a facial or something? I can mind John.”
“Well, I think I’ll just go for a little walk around the shops. Thanks, Tanya.”
I took off my coat and left it with my little case and the pram. I headed for the make-up and perfume area, smiling to myself at Tanya’s suggestion that I should go for a massage. Did she think I was made of money or something? Surely not? I had just about scraped enough
money together for this last-minute deal for the three of us. My savings were depleted now and I wouldn’t be able to get a massage for another, oh, ten years at least!
I had a fun time browsing around the MAC counters and having a look at all the new seasonal-coloured eye shadows. They looked fun but were too pricey for my purse. I tried on some new perfumes out of the sample bottles at the Elizabeth Arden counter and then I thought I’d go to Monsoon where I saw a ‘sale’ sign. Maybe I’d be able to pick up a cute little sunhat for John. It’s funny but when you’re a mum you will go without things for yourself, but rarely have to think twice about buying your child something new.
I found him a little blue-and-white cotton sunhat that you could tie in a ribbon under the chin. It was adorable and it was half price too which was even better! There were some very pretty dresses in the shop too that I would have loved to have tried on but, as I didn’t have the funds for them, I didn’t want to get depressed trying them on. I thought I’d better get back to Tanya and John. As I walked by the plethora of shops and bars, all looking so shiny and new and tempting, I heard my name being called.“Kaylah?”
I swung around to face a very tall glamorous-looking couple, linking arms. I found myself squinting at both of them. At first I didn’t recognise the tanned blonde woman, wearing skinny white jeans, a light blue-and-white-striped Ralph Lauren shirt and Missoni wedge sandals, but when she pushed her huge sunglasses off her face and broke into a smile, I saw immediately who it was. “Oh, Lilly!” I threw my arms around her. “You look
sensational!”
Lilly O’Dea is Ireland’s top catwalk model with emerald-green eyes and thick wavy auburn hair. Her porcelain skin, with a smattering of cute faint freckles, makes her hugely popular with Irish brands. She is the current hot poster girl for all things Celtic.
She introduced me to her boyfriend, Greg. He gave my hand a firm shake. He was tall, dark and handsome and just the type of man I would imagine Lilly’s boyfriend to look like. I would love a man like that, I thought fleetingly. Chance would be a fine thing.
“Are you going anywhere nice?” Lilly asked.
“Yes, I’m going to the Costa del Sol for a week,” I said, suddenly feeling more dowdy than ever.
Lilly’s eyes widened in delight. “Oh, really? That’s where we’re going too! Our friends have a place in Puerto Banus and we’re going to stay with them for a few nights. We must meet you for a drink or maybe dinner some evening. Is John with you?”
I was so pleased she actually remembered my baby’s name. So many people didn’t and couldn’t even remember what sex he was.
“I do actually. He’s with my au pair at
the boarding gate. Our flight is delayed.”
“Oh no, how annoying! Our flight is going on time, thank goodness. We’re going Aer Lingus and hiring a car when we get there.”
“Well, we’re on a package holiday so we’re on a special flight. It’s my first time away with John so I wanted to go somewhere where there would be an Irish rep just in case. We don’t have to worry about hiring cars or anything.”
“Where are you staying?”
“In a hotel in Torremolinos. It’s only about ten minutes’ drive from the airport and it’s near the sea. I don’t think we’ll be going out at night, but if we are I’ll send you a text. Puerto Banus is a bit far though . . .”
“Yeah, it is a little far. By the way, I met Clive the other night in the Shelbourne Hotel. Himself and Jane are off to Majorca this week. He said he’d love to have taken John with him but maybe next time . . .”
She stopped when she saw the look of utter confusion on my face, followed by one of shock.
“Oh God,” she said, “you didn’t . . . I mean . . . Jesus!”
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