Liam pressed his hand against the base of my back as lightly as possible in order to escort me to the awaiting carriage. He briefly took my hand to help me inside—releasing it the moment I’d settled—before scrambling in after me.
The carriage clattered out of the palace gates. The moment we passed them, I released a pent-up breath at the same time he did. Our gazes met briefly before we both hastily looked away, him with a disdainful twist to his mouth, me with an embarrassed heat tickling my cheeks.
Silence filled the chasm between us, magnified in the confines of the carriage. I ached to do something to bridge the distance and dissipate the suffocating tension, but Prince Liam appeared content with the quiet, seeming to have lost all motivation to speak now that we found ourselves away from prying eyes.
I sat rigid in my seat, clutching at the velvet upholstery with my sweaty and shaking hands, all while fighting the moisture stinging my eyes. I stole several glances at Prince Liam—so cold, formidable, and unapproachable. I soon noticed him stealing several glances towards me in return, the hard lines of his face growing more and more stern with each one.
He finally faced me fully with a long sigh. “You seem a bit tense and much more quiet than you usually are. It’s not often you miss an opportunity to fight with me.”
I said nothing, certain if I opened my mouth, the sob I’d been fighting to suppress would tumble out.
“Are you”—his brows squashed together as he studied me more closely—“frightened?”
Not of him, despite his open hostility. During my service to the princess, I’d had many opportunities to observe Prince Liam, enough to know that he was a kind and good man. Whenever he wasn’t around Princess Lavena, he was an entirely different person—one who was full of life and laughter. Princess Lavena was the only person I’d ever seen him behave differently towards.
And she was the person he thought I was, a fact that only intensified my fear of our future together. I was a handmaiden who’d married a prince in a princess’s place. I felt I was drowning.
He sighed again, tearing me from my thoughts. “So it’s to be the silent treatment? Is that the game you want to play now? It’s always one with you. Only a few hours into our marriage and already it’s oh-so-pleasant. I knew you’d be difficult.”
My whimper escaped, as did a single tear that trickled embarrassingly down my nose. His breath hooked but I didn’t await his response, already weary of the tension festering between us.
I scooted into the corner to rest my head against the windowpane to stare out at the rolling hills of the Dracerian countryside, scenery that reminded me of the cottage nestled in the meadow where I’d grown up. Fierce homesickness for my old life pierced my heart. I wanted my childhood home, my simple life, Archer and my long-deceased parents, my geese…but most of all I wanted my identity, already gone, considering my sole companion knew me by a different one entirely.
“Lavena?” He said my new name hesitantly, as if he was doubting my identity along with me. I peeked back over at him and was startled at the remorse filling his features. “Are you crying because of…me?”
I knew the silent treatment was unfair. “This isn’t a game to me. Truly, Prince Liam.”
His lips quirked up on one side while he cocked a single eyebrow on the other. “Prince Liam? Goodness, such formality between husband and wife.”
“I’m sorry,” I said hastily, silently cursing myself for my faux pas. I twisted the ring Princess Lavena had forced onto my finger, aching to yank it off. Could I survive this?
He frowned. “You apologized.” His brows squashed together but he seemed to have no further comment.
I turned back to the window. Several more moments of silence stretched between us, measured by each turn of the carriage wheels carrying us towards our new life together, one that had already started off wrong.
“I’m sorry, too.”
I glanced back over. “For what?”
He clenched and unclenched the ends of his shirt, his knuckles white. “For being rude. I’m always rude to you.”
“As am I.” For I’d heard enough stories about his and Princess Lavena’s interactions—not to mention witnessed several confrontations myself—to know she held equal blame for the contention in their relationship.
He tilted his head, studying me closely. “You’re…different.”
I stiffened. Oh no, he’d already discovered I was an imposter. I knew this scheme wouldn’t work; the princess was a fool to believe it possibly could. It was impossible for someone to become another person.
My heart pounded wildly as I braced myself for his accusations. Prince Liam continued studying me closely, as if trying to pry my secrets from the recesses of my soul.
“Yes, from the moment of our wedding, you’ve seemed…altered.”
I swallowed, not trusting myself to speak.
“I can’t quite pinpoint how, exactly.” He drummed his fingers on his knee as he continued to peruse me. “But something is…off.”
“Really?” I could barely squeeze the word past my dry throat. My shaking hands groped for the carriage door handle to steady myself. He leaned forward and rested his hand over mine to pull it away. An unexpected jolt rippled over me at his touch, and he withdrew his hand.
“Perhaps this marriage, as undesirable as it is, will hopefully not be as bad as we both fear.”
“I hope so too, Your Highness, but—”
“Your Highness? Lavena, please, this formality must stop.”
Another mistake. I buried my forehead in my hands and leaned on my elbows. “This is such a disaster.”
He actually chuckled. “It is, isn’t it? Two enemies bound together forever.”
“Enemies? Is that what we are? Are we to draw up battle plans and spend the rest of our marriage at one another’s throats?”
His eyes widened. “Don’t you hate me?”
“No! Do you hate me?” The tears I’d fought so hard to keep back finally escaped. Prince Liam scrambled to my seat and hovered over me before awkwardly patting my back.
“I’m a dunderhead,” he murmured. “A few hours in and I make my wife cry.”
“A few hours in and my husband hates me.”
“I don’t hate you,” he said hastily, his tone making his words sound like a question. “Really, Lavena. I thought you hated me. We’ve never exactly gotten along.”
“Because we haven’t ever tried.”
To my amazement, Prince Liam cupped my chin to tilt my head up and carefully dried my eyes with his handkerchief. The gesture was so incredibly sweet I almost burst into tears again.
“We haven’t, have we? We’ve done a pretty good job of avoiding one another. I’ve never wanted this arrangement, Lavena. You were never meant to be my wife, but Kian’s.”
It took me a moment to remember that Kian was the deceased Crown Prince of Draceria—Liam’s older brother and Princess Lavena’s original fiancé. “I didn’t want this arrangement either.” Not when it placed me in such a dangerous situation.
He managed a wry smile. “I know. You’ve made your opinion clear many times.”
“As have you.” I shuddered as the Lavena-like accusation escaped. Already parts of her identity were eclipsing mine and I hated it. “I’m sorry,” I said hastily, as if my apology would allow me to snatch whatever portion of myself remained before I disappeared forever. “I didn’t mean that.”
He stared at me as if he’d never seen me before. “You apologized again. I mean…” He pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose, as if trying to ward off a headache. He took a deep breath. “Right. Let’s confront this arrangement head on.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Head on?”
“Yes, we must face the situation directly. Fact number one: you and I don’t like one another.”
“I don’t hate you,” I contradicted.
“I didn’t say hate, but you must admit we haven’t exactly been hiding our dislike for one another.”
I ached to deny it, for it was Princess Lavena who didn’t like him, not me. I hated being so misrepresented. It was all I could do to bite my tongue to stifle my protests.
“Now.” He playfully tapped my nose. “Fact number two: You and I are stuck together, whether we like it or not. But while I’m many things, I’m not dishonorable. I’ll be faithful to whatever this is. Will you? I know you’re rather…” He bit his lip.
Heat flashed through me. Yes, Princess Lavena was that way, but that was not a trait I’d pretend was mine for one moment. “I’m honorable, too. I’ve not had exploits before you, and I certainly won’t have them now that we’re married.” The ring began to warm threateningly, warning me to watch what I said. I swallowed the rest of my adamant denial. “That would be wrong,” I finished weakly.
He gaped at me for a moment before blinking rapidly. “I see.” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “So, we both intend to be faithful to whatever this is.” He waved his hand between us.
“Of course.”
Up went his eyebrow. “So we have that in common, at least. It’s a start. I’m not happy about this, but I’ll do my best.”
“I will too,” For whether I was Princess Lavena or Anwen, I couldn’t live in a loveless union for as long as it took the princess to come to her senses.
“Then it’s decided.” Prince Liam turned towards the window, signaling the end of our conversation.
I pressed my face against the glass and spent the rest of the carriage ride watching the sun set over the rolling hills. My breath caught as the summer Dracerian palace loomed into view, a vision of white marble and splendor, cast in a sheen of ruby and gold from the setting sun. The carriage clattered through the gates and rolled to a stop in front of the towering oak front doors. Prince Liam descended and helped me down, looping my arm through his to escort me up the steps.
A bowing footman opened the door for us. “Welcome, Your Highnesses.”
I stiffened at the address and forced myself to nod in reply.
Prince Liam led me upstairs towards the bedrooms, and too late I remembered that with marriage came…my stomach jolted. Oh no. We couldn’t. I wasn’t ready, we were still strangers, and I wasn’t even sure we were legally married. No, no, no, no…
Prince Liam paused outside a door and gave me a shy and awkward look. My chest tightened. “This is where I leave you.”
“You mean we’re not—”
He shook his head. “Not tonight. We should wait until we can at least tolerate one another.”
I released my sigh of relief in a whoosh. “Thank heavens.”
He actually laughed, a light, bouncing sound that filled me with warmth. “I thoroughly agree. I told you I was honorable, Lavena. You really think I’d…”
I shrugged. “You’re a man.”
He pursed his lips, obviously to contain his laughter. “Not so much so that I’d ever consider…I mean, I’ve waited this long, I’d rather wait longer so it might at least be bearable. Wouldn’t you?”
“Do you think it ever could?”
“Well, I’ll need an heir eventually…” He blushed and seemed to take great interest in the ornate rug lining the marble corridor. “But I don’t need one now. So we should wait. I’m not asking for a miracle, but for the first time, I feel a glimmer of hope that this won’t be as torturous as I anticipated.”
I managed a small smile, my first since this entire nightmare had started. “I have hope, too. Only a sweet man would dry one’s tears.”
He seemed startled by my compliment before he slowly returned my smile, a wide boyish one that lit up his eyes, and in that moment I felt something pass between us, something warm and bright.
“Thank you, Lavena. I wish you a pleasant night.” He bowed before entering his room. I slipped into the adjoining one and leaned against the closed door, trying to settle my frantic heartbeat as the emotions from the day finally overcame me.
I collapsed face-down onto my bed and broke into shuddering sobs. A part of me felt hopelessly lost and unsure how to navigate the waters ahead, while the other part of me remembered Prince Liam’s smile, the way he’d dried my tears, and his contagious laugh. If that Liam could always exist, then could this arrangement possibly not be as unbearable as I feared?
Chapter 5
When I first awoke the following morning I forgot where I was. I stared up at the canopy hanging above me as I ran my fingers across the satin sheets. The bed was incredibly soft, like lying on goose feathers. When had I ever slept so soundly? I blinked sleepily before rolling over. Rosy, golden dawn tumbled from the window in shimmering dappled patterns across the lush rugs and spacious room. Where was I?
And then I remembered.
Disoriented, I sat up with a gasp and found a maid stoking the fire, a job that, up until this morning, I’d always performed for Princess Lavena. She startled at my sudden movement and blinked at me in surprise before sweeping into a grand curtsy.
“Forgive me, Your Highness, I didn’t mean to disturb you. I was informed you were a heavy and late sleeper.”
She said it like a question, obviously doubting herself at seeing me awake so early. While that was true for Princess Lavena, I was used to rising with the sun in order to begin a long day serving Her Highness. But that time had passed; now servants were serving me. Being a princess would take some getting used to.
The maid wrung her hands as she anxiously awaited my reply. By the stiffness in her posture, she’d undoubtedly been informed of Princess Lavena’s foul temper when woken too early. But I was not Her Highness. Even though I knew I had a part to play, I couldn’t bring myself to be outright rude.
“It’s quite alright.”
Confusion lined the maid’s brow at what was likely a much softer answer than she’d expected. To make up for it, I gave a dismissive wave of my hand, cringing when the gesture was obeyed immediately. Only hours into the charade and I already loathed it.
She paused in the doorway. “Will you be returning to sleep, Your Highness, or would you like me to bring you a breakfast tray?”
I wouldn’t waste another moment in bed. I had too much pent-up energy to adopt the princess’s late-lie-in habits. “I fancy an early morning stroll before breakfast.”
She blinked in astonishment. Whatever warnings she’d received about Princess Lavena, I was doing a terrible job of living up to them. But my nerves were too frazzled to care at the moment. Perhaps a brisk walk in the crisp summer morning followed by a good breakfast would grant me the motivation to better play my part.
The maid bustled towards the wardrobe for a gown. Great, now it was my turn to be dressed up. It turned out to be as awkward as I’d always imagined. Luckily, the maid worked quickly and efficiently, dressing me in a fern-green satin gown—and while it fit me perfectly, considering Princess Lavena had put me to work doing up all her hems to make up for my slightly shorter height, I wasn’t used to its tight and confining feel. I pressed a hand to my chest and struggled to breathe. How would I ever get used to such an outfit?
After the maid styled my hair in a simple but elegant twist, I escaped the confines of my room and managed to find my way outside. I tipped my head back and breathed in the brisk air, full of the scent of blossoms and morning dew. I basked in the sun warming my face and the cool breeze caressing my cheeks. The early morning stillness had always been my favorite time of day, when the world was awakening and the day was fresh and new.
I managed to stir and urge myself forward in order to explore the pathways that twisted through the magnificent gardens, observing not the fauna but the insects. Morning was the best time to study them, for the cooler temperatures of night combined with the dew covering their wings prevented them from flying away, thus allowing me to examine them more closely.
I paused when I spotted a dragonfly resting on a leaf, its wings lightly coated in moisture. From its coloring, I could tell it was a species I’d never seen before. Fascinating. As I debated whether I could get away w
ith sitting on the damp lawn in my fancy dress in order to get a closer look, I heard approaching footsteps. I swiveled around just as Prince Liam appeared at the end of the path.
He froze when he saw me, looking startled. “Lavena?” No good morning, no inquires on how I slept, just my name given like an expletive. I smiled anyway.
“Good morning, Prince Liam.” I had to catch myself before I curtsied out of habit.
He eyed my smile suspiciously before he frowned. “Prince Liam? You do love riling me in the most subtle ways.”
My smile vanished. Wait, what? “You think I’m trying to upset you?”
“You always do.”
Awkward silence choked the chilly air, making it feel as if miles existed between us rather than mere feet. I fidgeted with my ring, desperately trying to find something to say to dispel the brewing tension. I thought we’d made progress yesterday. Now that hope was evaporating along with the morning dew.
“But last night in the carriage—” I finally managed.
He gave me a mocking smile. “Oh yes, the carriage ride. I did fall into your trap quite easily, but the morning has put everything back into perspective. The more I’ve been thinking about it, the more I realize how out of character you were behaving. There’s only one explanation for it: it was all an act.”
I frantically shook my head. “No, Prince Liam.”
“See? Calling me Prince Liam is only a continuation of this new game of yours.” He furrowed his brow. “Why are you awake so early? Can’t wait to get started on finding ways to make me miserable, Princess Lavena?”
I winced. “I know you rise early,” I said slowly, analyzing each word before I spoke, trying to discern if he could twist it to fit his dark perception of Princess Lavena, now me. The fact he thought so ill of me was torturous.
He shrugged. “Don’t get up early on my account. I was actually pleased at the thought of not having to hide from you during the blessed hours you slept in.”
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