She managed to stop the Hjan and spun around to find Alison fighting two Hjan next to Samis. Both appeared outmatched, but they did all they could to keep the Hjan from reaching her.
With another pull of power, she reached them and stabbed both Hjan as they began to turn.
Her power faded and she fell.
Had she done enough?
Nausea rolled within her. It meant more flickering and more Hjan.
Not enough. And now she didn’t have the strength to do anything. Now her friends would die as well.
26
Carth expected another attack, or more flickering, but there was none. No additional nausea rolled through her. No more Hjan appeared. It was almost as if they had finally disappeared. She didn’t want to believe that and started to get up, but she was too weak. Exhaustion rolled through her, leaving her incapacitated.
Alison reached a hand for her, clasping her wrist and helping her up. “I don’t know what that was,” she started, “but no one can question your ability anymore, Carthenne Rel.”
Carth tried to smile, but the sight of the dead bodies all around her made it so that she didn’t want to smile. What she wanted was to lie down, let sleep claim her. Right now, she wouldn’t even care if she ever woke up.
“What happened to you?” Alison asked. “Master Harrison claimed that you worked with the Reshian.”
“I stopped the Reshian,” she said. She wondered if even that had been a mistake. They were able to use the shadows, much like she could. They would have something they could teach her, lessons she began to realize that she needed, and that she wouldn’t find if she remained here. “I’ve not been with them, regardless of what Harrison said.”
“How did you get out?” Alison asked.
“Invar came for me when the attack started. He said I might be the only one who would really be able to help stop it.”
She needed to get to Invar. If there was anything she could do to help, she needed to try. As tired as she was, it would have to wait until after everything else had been resolved.
Carth started toward the door, staggering as she did. Alison caught her, lifting her under the arms. Carth tried to shake her off, but couldn’t. Alison held on.
“Let me help you,” Alison said. “You’ve done enough for everyone. It’s our turn to help you.”
She started down the hall, and Carth could tell that Alison led her toward her room. She thought about letting Alison leave her there, but she couldn’t do that yet. As much as she wanted to go to her room, she needed to learn what else had happened here.
“The palace,” she said to Alison.
Alison shook her head. “It’s not safe out there. It’s probably not safe in here, either.”
“I need to get back to Invar,” she said.
“You always want to go toward trouble, don’t you?”
Alison helped her from the cosak. Out in the yard, a battle was taking place, but not between the Hjan and the A’ras. Shadows swirled, shifting and moving, and Carth realized that the Reshian had attacked.
Alison gasped. “I thought you stopped the rest of them.”
Carth blinked, and her mind felt thick. “I stopped the Hjan.”
“There were no Hjan, Carth. Those were Reshian.”
Enough strength had returned for Carth to stand unsupported. Staring through the shadows, she realized that the Reshian fought the remaining Hjan. “They weren’t Reshian. Those are. And they’re not attacking the A’ras,” she said.
“It’s the Reshian, Carth. You know what they did.”
Carth had thought she knew what they did, but now she wasn’t certain. The Reshian she saw fighting here made no effort to attack the A’ras who staggered through the yard. They kept their focus on the Hjan, targeting them only.
As she watched, the remaining A’ras began to organize. Landon was among them, as was Samis. They started toward the Reshian, swords drawn and a hint of magic burning, though not with the same strength they had only hours earlier.
“No!” Carth shouted.
Alison looked at her as if she had lost her mind. “Carth?”
Carth shrugged her off and hurried toward the A’ras. She might not have much strength, but she wasn’t about to let the A’ras attack the Reshian, not when she suspected they had only been in the city because of the Hjan. They hadn’t come to attack the A’ras… why would they when the A’ras served to protect the northlands? They were here because of the Hjan.
Alison tried grabbing at her arm, but Carth shook her off. She pulled on shadows, straining for the connection, and found that outside, in the fading light of day, the shadows came to her more easily. The A’ras flame burned softly within her as well, and she dragged on this sense. Using the two together, she wrapped shadows and magic around the collected A’ras, spinning it into an ever thicker band. It created a barrier, much like what Harrison had used to hold her in the cell, but this one, she created to prevent the A’ras from attacking.
“What did you do?” Alison asked. “I believed you! I thought you were with us!”
“I am with you.”
“Then let the A’ras free. The Reshian—”
“Are not the enemy,” Carth said. “Look!”
She pointed to a dozen shadow blessed who commanded the shadows, congealing them around a dozen or so Hjan. Reshian attacked Hjan, using a combination of shadows that swirled around the Hjan and prevented them from flickering. The Hjan were skilled, though, and disrupted the shadows, pushing back the Reshian.
The Hjan pressed the attack, and the Reshian faded back. Carth knew what needed to be done, though she didn’t know if she had the strength to do it. It meant confirming the fears the A’ras had about her. It meant abandoning her friend Alison, abandoning the hope she had for anything more with this life, the one her parents had wanted for her. But if she didn’t, the A’ras would suffer. Those she cared about would suffer. Wasn’t that worth the sacrifice?
“I’m sorry, Alison.”
She pushed Alison toward the other A’ras, holding her in the shadows and the flame.
The dawning horror and sadness on her face was hard to watch.
Carth couldn’t watch. She turned to the Hjan, drawing on the shadows, feeling a surge of strength through her. The Reshian might be shadow blessed, but she was more than that. She knew that now. Not shadow cursed, not as she had begun to fear. She was connected to the shadows, could use them in some ways.
She was shadow born.
The Reshian seemed to recognize that she fought with them. They parted, letting her reach the Hjan. A face appeared among the Reshian and she nearly lost her focus.
Jhon?
He winked at her before disappearing again, caught in a swirl of shadows.
Carth attacked the Hjan using shadows and the flame. She moved faster than she thought possible with as weakened as she felt, attacking with a fury but no longer needing to fight alone. She had the support of the Reshian, others with shadow ability.
The Hjan fell back.
Some tried to flicker, but failed.
Carth’s knife found home again and again. With each attack, the anger she felt at losing her parents, anger she’d known from the day the Hjan had destroyed her family, faded. All she knew was the need to continue her attack, the need to expel the Hjan from Nyaesh.
Shadows swirled around her, filling her with power.
Then everything stopped.
Silence surrounded her.
She turned, noting the Reshian still nearby. They looked at her, watching for a moment, and then, with a swirl of shadows, they disappeared from the grounds.
That left only Carth.
The Hjan were gone, either disappeared with a flicker or dead. The A’ras pushed on the barrier she held, and Carth’s strength faded. With another push, the barrier fell. Landon raced toward her, followed by other A’ras. Even Alison was with him.
Carth fell back and nearly stumbled.
There was nothing she could
do. Nothing she could say. To them, she was a traitor. She had sided with the Reshian when she’d destroyed the Hjan.
Carth reached for the shadows, trying to pull them around her, but she had spent too much effort defeating the Hjan. Reaching for the A’ras magic, trying to find the flame as it burned within her, didn’t get her any further.
Landon approached, leading the rest of the ashai and a few bloody A’ras. He stepped closer to her, the rest of the ashai remaining behind him. Carth waited for Alison to step forward, or Samis, but neither did.
As Landon neared, nausea rolled through her.
“Landon?” she said.
He frowned at her, leaning close enough that she could smell his breath.
“The Hjan attacked us.”
He shook his head. “Harrison signed an agreement with them. There was going to be peace. And now you’ve ruined it.”
“This wasn’t me! The Reshian helped us.”
“You’re not even of Nyaesh. You know nothing, Rel. And now you won’t matter. Harrison should have done this when he learned of your treachery.”
He slipped his sword forward.
Carth took in a deep breath, drawing the shadows with her, and rolled to the side. With one last effort, she kicked, driving the heel of her boot out at his hand, and heard a satisfying crack. Without thinking, she lunged, driving the serrated edge of the knife Invar had given her toward his stomach, pushing the shadows out as she did.
She froze.
If she did that, she would be every bit the traitor they believed.
Landon staggered back, his hand dropping to his stomach.
One of the ashai—Alison, she noted with horror—caught him.
Carth watched, wanting to go to her friend, wanting to return to the ashai, but what could she do? To them, she had proven herself Reshian now, and she had almost killed Landon. She imagined similar stories coming out about her killing the masters. Invar might know the truth, but would others believe him? They thought him addled, thought that his mind had begun to slip. Any help she could get there was doubtful.
Even the hope of her friends supporting her faded. Not only Alison, but now Samis and one of the remaining A’ras crouched around Landon, helping him back up. As she watched, they turned to her, even Alison and Samis looking at her with hatred in their eyes.
Carth scrambled back, drawing the shadow cloak around her. Each step brought her closer to the wall, and farther from the home she’d known for the last five years.
All she’d wanted was to fit in. To understand how to use the A’ras magic. To have a place where she belonged, a home.
Nyaesh would not be her home now. It could not be.
As she reached the wall, she disappeared.
27
Carth was walking around the wall, tracing her hand along the stone, when she felt a soft burning of A’ras magic. She looked up, afraid of who she might find. She was in no place to defend herself, too weakened by the attack. After what had happened, she should leave the city, should leave the palace at least, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. As much as she recognized that she no longer belonged here, it was too hard to tear herself from this place.
“You did well, Ms. Rel.”
Invar. He was thinner than before, his face pale as if he’d lost blood during the fight. A dark cloak hung around his shoulders and his face wore a serious expression.
“I have to leave, Invar.”
He took a step toward her. His gait was off and he staggered a little. “Yes. You do.”
“They think the Hjan fought the Reshian. They think the Reshian attacked the A’ras.”
He breathed out slowly, and his arms fell to his sides. “The Hjan mimicked the Reshian shadows when they appeared. They furthered a war that had only simmered, Ms. Rel. Now most within the palace grounds believe the attack was Reshian. We know the difference, but…”
She didn’t need him to explain that no one would believe either of them.
“The masters made it difficult for you to remain, Ms. Rel. When they offered a bargain to the Hjan, there could be no other outcome.”
“I don’t understand what happened.”
Invar motioned for her to follow, and they started into the city. Carth noted that they traveled along Doland Road, which would take them to the docks. Fitting that she should go this way.
“The Reshian have known about the Hjan presence in Nyaesh for some time. The initial attacks were meant to draw the Hjan off the palace grounds, but they discovered something else.”
“What?”
He looked over at her. “You, Ms. Rel. You revealed your shadow ability to them, and the Reshian knew that they needed to destroy the shadow barrier around the grounds.”
“This was about me?”
“Not only you, but partly. I suspect they believed they needed to reclaim you. To do that, the Reshian wanted to destroy the protections around the palace. They have fought the A’ras for many years, but that story is for a different time. When they learned of the alliance with the Hjan, the Reshian had no choice but to attack.”
Carth thought of how many had died. Not only the Reshian, but also the A’ras. “We… I killed them.”
They reached River Road. The noise of the city faded and the sounds of the docks nearly overwhelmed her.
“That was not you, Ms. Rel. You did what was necessary. You saved lives that night, much as you did when you fought today.”
She swallowed. “I won’t ever be A’ras, will I, Invar?”
He offered a sad smile. “Ms. Rel, you were never meant to be A’ras.” He stopped near a massive ship with sails that was rolling in. Men worked along the deck, pulling lines and readying for arrival. “You needed to learn from the A’ras, but that was only a step in your journey.”
It was similar to what Jhon had said to her.
With that thought, a man separated from the darkness between the buildings leading to the dock. He was slight of build and had a plain, youthful face. Jhon.
“I think you know him, Ms. Rel?”
“Jhon?”
He nodded. “It is time for the next step in your training, I think, Carthenne. Are you ready?”
Carth looked back toward the palace. Even if she wasn’t ready, she couldn’t return. That option was closed to her, much as returning to the Wounded Lyre had been closed to her before.
She sensed that she didn’t have to go with Jhon, but what else would she do? She wanted to learn about her abilities, wanted to know what they meant for her. The only way to do that was by going with him.
“If I do this, where are we going?”
“There are other places for you to learn, other steps on your journey. In that way, you are like the wall surrounding the palace, both ivy and stone. You have learned one aspect of your abilities, and Jhon… he can help you learn the other.”
“The Reshian?” she asked.
“There are some who would help you understand,” Jhon said. “When we find them, you can learn what it means that you can use the shadows the way you do.”
She looked toward the palace. Were the Hjan still out there? She’d pushed them back, so she didn’t think so, but they were somewhere. With their ability to flicker, they could appear anywhere. If she could stay here, she could help protect the city… but that was no longer an option for her.
“We should attack them,” she said softly. “We should see the Hjan destroyed.”
Jhon glanced at Invar, and a strange, worried expression flitted across their faces before fading. “You should learn first,” he said.
Carth closed her eyes. What choice did she have but to go with him? She wanted to learn to control her power, but leaving Nyaesh felt too much like running.
What could she do without knowing her powers? To become strong enough to stop the Hjan—to really stop them—she would have to become as Invar said, like the wall around the palace, both stone and ivy. She didn’t know which represented the shadows and which the A’ras, but s
he had to know enough to use the combination to be stronger than either.
When Jhon stepped to the side, she hesitated only a moment more before letting him lead her onto the ship, and finally away from Nyaesh.
Shadow Born
1
The rocking of the ship no longer soothed Carth as it swayed against the massive dock. They’d been tied here too long for her comfort, long enough that Jhon claimed they should be venturing back onto the sea, but with each passing day they remained in the port. None of it was his fault—or any of the sailors’; they couldn’t affect the weather—but that didn’t change the unease she felt.
“You need to practice your breathing,” Jhon told her. He barely glanced at her over the top of the book propped open on his lap. The long ink-coated quill rested on a strip of paper next to him, and his fingers were stained with the dark blue ink that he preferred.
“My breathing?” she snapped, before taking a calming breath and shaking her head. Maybe he was right, and she did need to practice her breathing. “We’ve been here for nearly two weeks, Jhon. Two weeks, and I’ve been stuck on this stupid ship the entire time!”
“This stupid ship is bringing you to the next step in your training. It will bring you to the Reshian, who can train you.”
“You say that, but I have no evidence of it.” He kept telling her about the next step in her training, but she never felt any closer to it. Instead, it felt as if she ran from those she needed to help.
“You would rather the captain risk the storms?”
Carth breathed out. The captain claimed reports from other ships coming north told of terrible storms, and he preferred to remain in port until they were known to have passed. This was the only deepwater port for leagues, but that didn’t make her feel any better. “I would rather get as far as we can from the Hjan.”
“You shouldn’t fear them. You were the reason they were stopped in Nyaesh,” Jhon chastised.
“You do.”
A hint of a smile played across his mouth. “Do I?”
The Shadow Accords Box Set: Books 1-3 Page 39