“What happened?” I asked as I checked the cookie case to find it looking a little spare.
“Mandy is sick and I don’t know what we’re going to do! There’s only two weeks until the big day and now with her out of commission, we’re one short!”
I tried to follow, but she was being so vague, I could only ask, “Mandy?”
“Mandy Ortega. It’s her diet, I tell you. She eats all the wrong things and it’s impacted her immune system to the point that any bit of stress and she comes down sick. I knew when she was cast it was a bad idea.”
A lightbulb went off in my head. “She’s in a play?”
“Of course she is,” Rita said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “We have it every year, dear.” She stepped back and looked me up and down. “You know, you could probably fit into her costume.”
This time, instead of a lightbulb, alarm bells were going off. “No, I don’t think so.”
But it was already too late. Rita was on a roll and there was nothing that would stop her. “She was an elf in our Christmas production,” she said, speaking right over me. “Not a big role, mind you. You wouldn’t have to learn many lines at all. And every time you do speak, it will be a group effort, so if you flub it, it won’t be that big of a deal.”
“I really don’t think I . . .”
“The costume should fit. Your diet doesn’t seem to be much better than Mandy’s, so there’s a risk there.”
“Hey!”
“There’s only two weeks until the show,” she went on, oblivious. “Practices have ramped up, so there is one every night, right up until show night. That shouldn’t be too much of an issue for you.”
“Rita, I don’t know anything about acting in a play.”
“If there was someone else, you can bet I’d ask them, but since there isn’t . . .” She shrugged as if saying it was out of her hands.
“What about Vicki?” I asked, grabbing hold of her as she came down the stairs. “She’s done plays before. She’d know what to do.”
Rita took one look at Vicki and laughed. “Weren’t you listening? We only have one spare costume. There’s no time to have another made and you’re the perfect size! She’d practically swim in Mandy’s getup.”
I knew I should have taken it as an insult, especially since Rita weighed more than me, but I was too panicked to care.
“But . . .”
“You should do it, Krissy,” Vicki said. “It would be a great experience.”
Gee, thanks, I thought. Betrayed by my best friend.
“Practices start at six at the community theatre. I’ll let Lawrence know you’ll be coming.”
And with that, she spun away, leaving me gaping after her.
“It’ll be fun,” Vicki said before she, too, left me standing there, feeling as if I’d been bull-rushed.
“Fun,” I echoed. Somehow, I seriously doubted it.
2
The Pine Hills community theatre sat in the middle of downtown, not far from the church where the writers’ group holds their meetings, and only a few blocks away from Death by Coffee. It’s a small brick building, old, and looked a little worse for wear. I’d only ever been inside for a play once, and found the building to be showing its age then. It’s only gotten worse since.
I pulled into the lot knowing full well I should have called Rita and told her I wouldn’t take part in the production. I knew nothing about acting, and with so little time to prepare, it was unlikely I’d get much of a chance to learn on the job. I didn’t even go to the school plays in high school: neither as an actress nor in the audience. And while I saw many of Vicki’s productions back home, those were on a much larger scale than anything Pine Hills would ever produce.
But what else was I going to do this Christmas? I didn’t love shopping, especially when everyone was running around, looking for that perfect gift, barreling over anyone who gets in their way. And while I love A Christmas Story as much as the next person, I could only watch it so many times before going mentally numb.
There were only a couple of other cars in the lot, which was expected. Since tonight was my first practice, I wanted to show up early and introduce myself. Vicki had told me to leave work early since Death by Coffee had slowed thanks to the dropping temperatures. No one wanted to be out on a night like this, yet here I was.
I hurried from my car to a side door marked “Cast Entrance.” Feeling like a fraud, I slipped inside and found myself in a surprisingly tidy space. I’d figured I’d find props laying everywhere, costumes draped over boxes, and general disarray. Instead, I found a few props laying on a table, and a mostly clean and safe space. There was old paint on the floor, telling of many nights painting set pieces, but otherwise, it wasn’t filthy anywhere but near the door where everyone stamped off their shoes.
“Who are you?” A round-faced elf approached. She stood five-foot at best, and was stocky, though it looked to be genetics, rather than her diet. She appeared to be in her mid-twenties, and was flanked by two other elves, one male, one female.
“Hi, I’m Krissy Hancock,” I said, taking in their green outfits, pointy ears, and shoes. “Rita Jablonski asked me to fill in for Mandy.”
“Of course she did,” the lead elf said with a roll of her eyes. “I’m Asia. That’s Greg.” She jerked a thumb toward the male of the two. “And that’s Prairie.” This time to the female, who looked eerily similar to Greg. Twins?
“Prairie?” I asked.
“That’s my name,” the girl in question said. Like Asia, I put her age somewhere in her early to mid-twenties. She looked mildly disinterested, as if talking with me was the lowlight of her day.
Greg flashed a smile Prairie’s way before rolling his eyes at me. Clearly, I didn’t impress either of them.
“Does Lawrence know you’re here?” Asia asked.
“Not yet. You’re the first people I’ve seen.”
She smiled. “Well, I suggest finding Lawrence as soon as possible. He’ll want to see you before committing you to the part.” She looked me up and down, her smile growing strained. “See you later.”
Asia spun, as did her two friends, and headed for a hallway in the back.
I decided it best not to follow their lead and instead headed for the stage. A man dressed in a shirt that read CREW across the back was kneeling on the far end, looking harried. He was thirty-something and wore glasses. He looked up as I passed, gave me a quick smile, and then went back to working on whatever it was he was doing. It looked like he was putting tape on the stage, but for what reason, I couldn’t guess.
The curtains were open, so I climbed the stairs and stepped through them to look out over what I thought would be an empty theatre, only to find a pair of seats occupied. It appeared as if Mrs. Claus was cheating on her jolly husband with an elf. The lip lock lasted for a good couple of seconds before the two came up for air. When they did, I just about died of shock.
“Robert?”
He jumped like I’d screamed it. Maybe I did. I was completely floored seeing my ex-boyfriend here in an actual theatre. He’d never gone with me to one of Vicki’s plays, and any time I asked him to, he’d come up with some lame excuse, as if he was allergic to the very idea of going to a play. But what was most shocking now was he wasn’t just visiting, but was dressed as if he had an actual part in the production.
I wasn’t surprised to find him all over another woman, however. If you knew Robert Dunhill, then you knew it was pretty much his natural state. He’d cheated on me back before I’d moved to Pine Hills, and then moved here a few months later, thinking we’d get back together. Of course, when he did try to reconcile with me, he did it while he was on a date with another woman. The man couldn’t seem to keep his paws to himself, and I hoped the girl he was with knew what she was getting herself into.
“Krissy?” Robert stood, looked around like he expected someone to tell him this was some sort of joke, before asking, “What are you doing here?”
“Me? I co
uld ask you the same thing!” I was trying hard not to be angry, but Robert had a way of getting under my skin. He also had a way of popping up where I didn’t want him, often appearing only to try to lure me back into his life. If he was thinking this was going to work this time, he had another think coming. “I can’t believe you’d do this!”
He turned to Mrs. Claus, who was looking suitably confused and embarrassed. I didn’t recognize her, so she wasn’t the last random woman I’d seen him with. What was her name? Tiffany, I think. He whispered something into not-Tiffany’s ear, and at her nod, he jumped up onto the stage with me. “I thought you didn’t want to have anything to do with me,” he said.
“I don’t. You got a part in this play just so you could stalk me,” I accused.
“I wouldn’t do such a thing,” he said, keeping his voice down so Mrs. Claus couldn’t hear. “You’re the one who’s stalking me.”
“What?” I very nearly laughed. “Rita asked me to fill in for someone. I didn’t even know there was going to be a play until this afternoon. How did you find out?”
He winced. “She asked you to step in? She shouldn’t have done that.” He sighed. “But what’s done is done, I guess. And if you must know, I tried out for my part from the beginning.” He glanced back at where Mrs. Claus still sat, fixing her makeup, and pretending like she wasn’t watching our every move. “Trisha thought it would be fun if we did it together.”
“Trisha?” I asked, my mind trying to play catch-up. Seeing him here had really knocked me for a loop.
“Yeah.” Robert grinned. “She’s great. She’s into all sorts of nerdy stuff like theatre, but I kind of dig it. She’s the one who convinced me to try out, and, well . . .” He spread his arms to show me his outfit. “I got it.”
Robert. In a play. I wasn’t shocked he did it for a girl, but the simple fact he’d actually done something for someone else was stunning. Then again, Trisha, while dressed as Mrs. Claus, looked as if she had yet to see thirty, and was thin, just like Robert liked them. Her hair was hidden by a white wig, but something about her told me her real hair was likely blond. She was just the sort of girl he’d go for.
“I’m turning over a new leaf,” he went on, that dopey grin still on his face. “I’m trying real hard not to screw things up this time.” He looked down at his feet. “Sorry for all the, you know, stuff I’ve done.”
“I . . .” I didn’t know what to say. He’d apologized before, but it had never been genuine until this very moment. There were so many strange things happening to me today, I was beginning to wonder if I’d somehow slipped into an episode of The Twilight Zone.
“There you are!” I turned to find Rita hurrying over. “What are you doing out here?” she scolded. “You need to get in the back and try on the costume.”
“You’d better go,” Robert said. “I’ll, uh . . .” He licked his lips, glanced at Trisha, before whispering, “I’ll see you later.”
Rita grabbed me by the arm and steered me away from the clearly flustered Robert. While I’d been talking to Robert, more cast and crew had shown and were busy getting ready. The back was buzzing with activity and laughter. I received quite a few curious looks, many accompanied by looks of sympathy since Rita was practically manhandling me on our way to the back.
We were near the hallway Asia and her crew had vanished down when a loud crash caused both of us to jump and someone else to scream. I turned to see a man in a red suit point at the crew member I’d seen kneeling on the stage earlier. Before I could see what the commotion was about, Rita urged me down the hall to a dressing room marked WOMEN. She shoved me inside.
“Here,” she said, yanking a costume from a hanger. “She left it here last night when she dropped out. It should be clean enough.”
“Should be?” I asked, skeptically.
“Just put it on!” She spun on her heel and hurried out of the room, leaving me alone.
I seriously considered putting the costume back and walking out. Not only had the entire thing been sprung on me at Death by Coffee, but now I had to deal with Robert. While he seemed to be into his new fling and was acting contrite, I had no illusions he wouldn’t do his best to make my life unpleasant.
Or maybe he was honestly trying to turn over a new leaf, like he said. Stranger things have happened, and I supposed I owed it to him to at least give him the benefit of the doubt.
Again, I thought bitterly as I pulled on Mandy’s costume. It was baggy all around, telling me Mandy wasn’t a small girl. I was a little irked Rita thought the costume would fit. Sure, I could stand to lose some weight, but the elf costume looked like it would have fit Rita better than it would have me.
I grouched under my breath as I pulled on the shoes—which went over my own shoes and had bells on the front and back—and then headed out to join the rest of the cast.
People were milling around everywhere by now. And of course, Rita was nowhere in sight. A hint of panic flared through me as I looked for her, or at least, a familiar face that wasn’t Robert’s. I caught a few snickers when I stepped out of the dressing room, thanks to my too large outfit, but I ignored them. I shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot near the back wall, and was thinking of making a break for it, when a woman who looked more the part of Mrs. Claus than an elf—though she was dressed as the latter—came up to me.
“Are you replacing Mandy?” she asked, kindly.
“I am,” I said. “Krissy Hancock.” I held out a hand.
She shook. Her hands were small and bony, but held strength. “Prudence Shilling. I’ve been a part of the community theatre here since the place was built.” She beamed with pride.
“I’m new,” I admitted. “I’ve never actually acted on stage before, so I’m a bit terrified.” Not to mention overwhelmed.
“I’m sure you’ll do fine.”
I wasn’t so sure about that, but smiled anyway. “Do you know where Rita went? She told me to get changed, and I expected her to wait out here for me, but I can’t seem to find her.”
Prudence grunted a laugh. “Lawrence is here now, so she’s probably out front. He doesn’t like having anyone not affiliated with the production backstage during practices.”
“Wait. She isn’t a part of the play?”
“No, she isn’t.” Prudence’s smile was somehow pitying. “She thinks she is and gets in the way quite often, but her heart is in the right place.”
I so wanted to strangle her. The only reason I was here was because I’d thought Rita had needed me. If she wanted to be involved in the play so badly, she could have taken Mandy’s place instead of wrangling me into it.
“I didn’t do it!” I turned to find the crewman I’d noted earlier talking to someone I couldn’t see past the stage. That someone yelled something I couldn’t make out, causing the crewman’s shoulders to slump in defeat.
Prudence tsked as Santa crossed the stage, grinning. “I still can’t believe Lawrence hired him.”
“Who? The crewman?”
“No, him.” She nodded toward Mr. Claus, who’d left the stage and had joined Mrs. Claus, who was currently not making out with my ex. Santa looked to be in his mid-fifties, which stood in stark contrast to what was supposed to be his wife. He said something to her, then leaned forward and gave her a quick smack on the butt. Her eyes just about bugged out of her head as she hurried away, rubbing at her bruised posterior. She rushed straight for Robert, who was in the process of making a beeline for Santa. She stopped him with a hand on his chest and they both turned away.
“The man is a letch if I’ve ever seen one,” Prudence said. “Since we’ve started, he’s made himself a menace to all the women, me included.” She shuddered.
Santa chuckled and turned away from where Trisha and Robert had gone, only to find himself looking at me. He winked and shot a finger gun at me as if I was next, before he walked to the back.
“Everyone! I need everyone!” The call came from the front of the stage.
Prudence sig
hed. “His Lord Highness awaits,” she said with a mock bow.
I followed her to the stage, making sure to bring up the rear. Robert had his arm around Trisha, who looked both embarrassed and angry. I would be too if Santa had spanked me in front of everyone. As I watched, another elf—this one a young stud of a man with a square jaw and smoldering good looks—said something to Trisha, which caused her to blush, and made Robert scowl. Before anything more could happen, a chubby man with a piercingly shrill voice raised his hands and shouted.
“Quiet down!”
Everyone stopped shuffling and whispering immediately.
“I’ve been informed we have a new cast member tonight,” the man I took to be the director, Lawrence, said. He flashed a quick, annoyed look toward Rita, who was sitting in the back row. “Please step forward if you’re here.”
Prudence nudged me when I didn’t move right away. Feeling all eyes on me, I slunk forward, to the front of the stage, feeling especially self-conscious in my oversized elf outfit.
Lawrence sighed, as if disappointed. “I suppose you’ll have to do on such short notice. Leave your costume here tonight and I’ll have someone take it in a bit.” He eyed me a moment longer before barking, “Name?”
“Krissy Hancock,” I replied, automatically. He had one of those commanding voices that made you jump the moment you were spoken to.
“Fine. You can step back.”
I hurried back to my spot beside Prudence. She squeezed my arm in comfort and winked. It made me feel a little better to know I had at least one ally in this.
“Before we begin tonight, I’d—”
The theatre doors slammed open and a very round man with a long white beard entered. He staggered a few steps and pointed at the Santa on the stage. “You don’t deserve to wear the red!” His cheeks were rosy, but I had a feeling it had more to do with drink than any sort of good, jolly nature.
“Oh, dear,” Prudence said with a sad shake of her head.
Death by Eggnog Page 2