"Oh, okay. Maybe next weekend."
I lost my dreamy daze. I was going to have to be really honest. "Ben, you and me, we're friends. Right? I like being your friend and I don't want anything to change that, do you?" His red eyebrows squished together then I watched as he realized what I was trying to say. "Ben…"
"Hey, don't worry about it Sunny. It's fine, really." He smiled a little too brightly as he continued. "You never know till you try, right?" He then turned around in his seat and got to work on his assignment for Mr. Meris. We were supposed to be writing an essay on fall activities. I turned around myself and did the same, still a bit worried about Ben.
Finally, the school day ended. I waved to Tara on my way out. The day was still warm from the sun, so I took off my jacket and tied it around my waist. Tara gave me the telephone sign and mouthed, "Call me" as she headed her own way out to meet up with Chris.
I found Leif waiting for me right outside the door where he had dropped me off that morning. He reached for my hand and I asked, "Where to now?" I was just so happy to see him I didn't care where we went.
"I think we need to have that talk now, don't you? You have anywhere you need to be?"
"No." I was suddenly nervous scared instead of nervous happy.
"Come on, lets dump your stuff at your house then we can go up to the cross."
The cross is a monument built by a man named Walter Schwarz in memory of his wife Betty after she had died. It stood up at the top of Kontner's Hill. You can see it from just about anywhere in Nelsonville, especially at night, as it is lit up and really was quite beautiful. You can get to it by road or by trail.
We walked the road route, as we weren't in any hurry. He still held my hand in his. In fact, he hadn't let go of me since I had met him after school. I didn't mind at all.
I was, however, nervous about what he was going to say. He was being so serious and his face was not the open warm smiling face I was expecting, but instead the cold stranger's face.
"I've been keeping an eye on you for a little while now," he said, breaking into my thoughts.
"Why?" I asked in surprise.
"It finally dawned on me last night that you really don't know, and I don't know how to explain it. I don't know all that much myself, except for what I have stumbled on. So..." He stopped walking and looked into my face. I honestly had no idea what he was talking about.
He continued on his voice serious, "You are the first one I have met other than myself. I think I was meant to find you. I never really believed in fate or destiny, but now, I think maybe I do."
First one what? I let him pull me close. He was nervous. I could feel the tension radiating off him. He stopped looking at me and was looking off into nothing. That just made me all the more anxious. I didn't understand what he was trying to say.
"What is it, Leif?" We had made it to the top of the hill. I was aware of where we were, but I didn't even take a moment to look at the monument. I was focused on Leif. Our hair was blowing around us in the cool autumn breeze. I placed my palms against his chest. I don't know if it was to push him back or to feel him close to me. I felt his warmth through his shirt then I realized I could also feel his heart beating against my hands. It was steady and strong and it made me stop thinking so hard. I took a deep breath and trusted him enough to calm down and just listen.
He took a deep breath himself and then asked, "Do you know what a Shadow Walker is?"
Chapter Four
Past
I laughed. I laughed hard and loud. After all the anxiety, after all the build up, I get asked about Shadow Walkers. Leif took one step back and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm serious," he said, his face shutting down, losing the warmth that was present just a moment before.
"I'm sure you are," I replied, trying to get my laughter under control. I couldn't stop the grin from breaking free no matter how hard I tried to hold it back. "Yes, I have heard of Shadow Walkers, along with vampires and goblins. And?"
Leif was standing there looking put out and grumpy.
"Okay, okay, I'm listening," I said, trying to look contrite. I schooled my features to look serious and waited.
Finally, after a sigh, he stepped forward again and placed his hands absently on my hips, pulling us close together again. He smelled like clean laundry, along with an undertone of maleness. Not gross or dirty, just different than a girl would smell. I guess. I breathed in the scent making a memory out of it.
"I suppose maybe I should start at the beginning, huh?" He took another deep steadying breath and continued, "I don't know who my parents are. I was placed into the system when I was about three. I don't remember anything about them. I didn't know if they were dead, or if they just didn't want me. As a kid that really bothered me, but now I understand that's just the way it is."
His eyes never left mine. They were focused and intense. I didn't know what he was waiting for, except maybe to see if I accepted him, orphan and all, which of course I did. I felt sad for that little boy. I don't know what I would have done without my parents. My mom and dad were everything to me. We moved around a lot, and they were severely overprotective, but I wouldn't know what to do without them and their unconditional support and love.
"I was passed around a lot from home to home until I was about ten years old. I was in the worst home yet at that time. Abuse is not uncommon in the system. There are just too many kids, I think. Anyway, this place was worse than usual. But it was then I learned about Shadow Walkers. I think it comes out as a defense mechanism. What I do know is that I was scared and trying to hide when it happened."
I was a bit lost at this point. What came out? "What hap…" I started to interrupt, but he shook his head.
"Wait. Let me get the story told first."
"Okay."
"I didn't realize what was happening until my foster parent, Dale, came to my room. I was hiding. He was drunk as usual and in a blinding rage. He was throwing stuff around, yelling for me to come out, and the reality was I was curled up right there in front of him on the dirty floor, cringing, waiting for the rage to be taken out on me again. When he kept stomping around yelling for me, I sat up and watched in disbelief. He couldn't see me. I didn't know why. I didn't really care why. I waved my hands at him and then made faces then gestures."
He stopped here and gave me a rueful smile. I could tell that he was seeing it in his head as he told it. I didn't know how that would feel, to be so small and helpless, to feel so abandoned and useless. I didn't know what to say, so I stayed quiet.
"He was in a rage and for the first time in months I was not afraid. Confused, yes, in fact for a moment, I thought I had gone nutty. I didn't care though. All I knew was that Dale couldn't see me. I was invisible. He could hear me though, which surprised me. I had laughed out loud at him and he went real still, stopped, and listened. He told me to come out; that he could hear me. He was taunting me and I was suddenly afraid again. I didn't want to be afraid anymore. I snuck from the room and the house and I never once looked back. I didn't take anything with me, nothing at all. I have been on my own since that day."
"I don't really understand, Leif," I said. I was still stuck on the little boy in the dirty room with the raving drunk. The invisible part, well, that was way over my head.
"The only way I can explain it is that I pulled the shadows over me, kinda like a blanket. I can become virtually invisible. If you know what you are looking for and if there is bright light, like from the sun, I think you can still see me, but if it's dim and there are lots of shadows to use, I don't think you can see me at all."
I wanted to believe him. I wanted there to be something like real magic in the world. I wanted to believe him very much, but...I didn't. That left me with the dilemma of what to say. He was watching me, waiting for my response, and I didn't have anything.
"I can prove it, you know?" he said. That would be helpful.
I watched as he raised his arms dramatically. The wind, of course, had to choose
that very moment to blow his hair away from his face and out behind him. It sure did set the mood. I restrained the giggles that wanted to come out, as I didn't think he would have appreciated my humor. Then I heard a soft hum, but only for a moment then he was gone. No flash of light, no thunderous boom, he just wasn't there anymore.
What the heck? I was shocked to say the least. Freaked out was more like it. I actually felt the blood drain down to my feet.
"Leif?" I started with hesitant steps to where he had stood. I heard him laugh just before he was standing directly in front of me again. I gasped and tried to step back, but he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me close.
"You should see your face. You eyes are huge." I was sure he was absolutely right.
"Holy crap!" was all I could think. I saw what he could do, but I couldn't take it in. It had to be a trick, a gag, an illusion. I was frightened, and feeling shaky in the knees, yet strangely exhilarated. I wanted to turn around and ask someone else if they had seen what I just saw.
"Wow. . ." was my reply, followed by, "Do it again."
Leif's eyes lit up, not just a little, but all the way. They crinkled up at the sides, and his whole gorgeous face lit up right along with them. His dimples came out and it was at that moment I realized I had never seen him look that way before. It was happiness. Not amusement, not laughter, not contentment, but simple happiness.
He gave me a cocky grin before I heard the soft hum. He disappeared again only to pop right back in from directly behind me, startling a second gasp from me as I spun around to face him. "Oh my God, that is so cool," I laughed.
"Not too scary then?" he asked.
"No. Not too scary. It's amazing." It really was.
"Try it with me?" Just a moment before, I was feeling bouncy and silly. That softly spoken request brought me down to earth.
"You can do it," he said.
Oh yeah right, sure I can. It was not fear stopping me. It was disbelief. I was just me, Sunny. No magical powers or abilities.
"It's in you," he continued before I could utter a decent reply. "Look, try it. Just try." He took both my hands into his. "What can it really hurt?"
Well, he had me there. I either could, which I didn't think so, or I couldn't, which was very likely. Trying wouldn't hurt me. I just didn't want to disappoint him. I shook my head at him and said, "Why you think I can do this is beyond me. Will you be really upset when I can't?"
"I will be ecstatic when you can," was his reply. "Don't be half empty. Come on, Sunny, just try it."
I didn't want to, but I was going to do it anyway. "Okay, explain it to me. What is it I'm supposed to do?" There it was. He was smiling again. I guess I was willing to make a fool of myself for that smile. What did that say about me?
"Don't frown, this is fun," he said as he poked me in my forehead. Apparently that was where my frown was.
"Hey, don't." I rubbed my forehead.
"Okay, are you ready?"
As ready as I was going to get, but I just said, "Yes."
"Okay, maybe you should close your eyes to get started. That always worked for me when I was trying to figure this out." I closed my eyes and listened to the timbre of his voice as he continued. "Now think of the shadows around you. In your mind, grab hold of them."
I had no idea what he was talking about. So I pictured the shadows coming across the ground from the giant cross. Then I pinched one of the corners between my thumb and pointer finger to grab it and pull it up off the ground. "Okay," I said, "I think I got one." I felt stupid.
"Alright, now wrap up like you would with a blanket."
I sighed. I couldn't help it. I really felt silly. In my head I took a firmer hold of the shadows I had in my fingers then dragged them in toward my body. Surprisingly, in my mind they felt heavy.
"Shh," I said, "I can't concentrate with you humming." There I was playing make-believe and he was humming.
"That's not me. Pay attention to the sound though. It will stop once you are in the shadows." Amusement was twinkling in his voice. Great, he was laughing at me. "Stop frowning," he said again.
"Don't poke me again," I replied before he could think about it.
The hum was getting louder now as I pulled the shadows closer to me. I could see them touching my feet. I was pushing and pulling them around me when I realized something.
"Hey, they're cold. You didn't tell me that." I hate being cold.
"Don't be a baby, finish wrapping up. You're almost there." He sounded excited as he egged me on.
"Do I wrap up my head too?" Yuck, that just felt icky.
Once the shadows fell into place, the hum stopped just as Leif said it would. I opened my eyes and looked around. Everything looked the same to me. Disappointment washed over me in a great wave. So, there you have it, I wasn't special. I had known it before I had even tried, but for a moment there, well, it doesn't matter I guess.
"Leif, I'm sorry. Maybe I did something wrong." I felt wretched.
"Wrong? Are you kidding?" I really looked at him. He was not upset or let down, or anything of the sort. He was, in fact, quite jubilant. "Don't move, don't do anything." I don't know what he thought I was going to do, but I just stood there stupidly and waited. Then there was that short hum then, nothing. Leif was still standing there as he was before. "I can't see you," he said.
Now I was confused. "Leif, I can see you just fine. Except, well, you have a blue light around you." Wait a second. "Oh my God. I did it? I did it, really? I'm invisible? Wait, how come I can see you and you can't see me? How come you have a blue light?" I was drilling him with questions. When he didn't answer me quick enough, I grabbed a hold of his arm and gave him a little shake of impatience.
He jerked in surprise and then a smile crested over his lips, "Hey, I can see you now." He looked down at my hand where I had grabbed his arm. "Let's try something, okay? Let go of me for a second."
I did as he asked and watched as he laughed. Then he reached for me again, and I took hold of his hand. "What?" I asked.
"I can't see you unless we're touching."
"But, I could see you the whole the time, even when I let go." I was still in elated shock that I, normal, plain Sunny, was invisible. I didn't feel any different though. Once the shadows were in place the humming stopped and the cold either became a part of me or was gone as well. The world around didn't look any different, except for Leif with his neon blue backlight. "Hey, what color am I?'
"What?"
I tried really hard not to get annoyed. I made direct eye contact with him and said slow and distinctly, "You have a blue outline around you. What color is my outline?"
He looked at me. Then he squinted at me, and finally said, "You don't have an outline at all. You're just Sunny, normal." He was looking at himself now. He must be looking for his color. Well, that was just not fair. How come he got to be a color? Oh well, moving on.
"So what other powers do we have? Can we fly?" I was suddenly excited again. If we get to pop in and out of the shadows, what else could we do?
"No, we don't fly."
"Well, do we get to live forever? Oh, that would be sooo cool. Do we heal immediately upon getting hurt?" I was really going to like being a Shadow Walker.
"Sunny, no we don't live forever, we. . ."
"Can I at least read minds or something? What good is jumping in and out of shadows if you can't do anything else with it?"
Now it was Leif's turn to sigh, and it came out in a big loud huff. "Sunny, stop a second. First, I don't know why I can't see you when you can see me. I only know that when I am touching you, I can. Second, I don't know why I have a color and you don't. Since I have never seen a color and you don't have one, I don't know what you're talking about. Remember, I have learned everything I know by figuring it out myself as I go along. I didn't have anyone to ask. So this is all that I know. Jumping in and out of shadows is more than enough of a cool thing for me. No, it's not reading minds, or flying, or living forever, but you couldn't d
o that before, could you? No, but you can shadow walk."
Hmm, then I felt like a heel. He was right, darn it. I suppose I could pretend I was overwhelmed with all the new stuff, but basically I was just impatient. I wanted to understand it all and understand it now.
"Do you know how I found you, Sunny?" he asked me out of the blue.
I thought about it for a moment then answered, "No."
"It was through your Shadow Song. I wasn't even in Nelsonville when I heard it. I was in Logan. Twenty minutes away by car. I was inside a Wal-Mart when I heard it. I traced it to you. That's some pretty impressive power, don't you think?"
"My what?" I asked. How do you trace a sound? How long did the sound last? Who else would have heard it? Oh, those were scary thoughts. Lovely.
"The hum that sounds right before we move into the Shadow Realm. Remember?" He asked. Yes, I did remember it now. I also remembered where I had heard it before. Once before my last head exploding migraine, and once in the alley the night I had been attacked. Now I understood the sound. Well, at least I was getting answers to some of my questions. They just weren't all making that much sense yet.
I was ready to head home. We had been up on the hill for quite a while now. I was hungry and tired. "How do we get out of the shadows?" I couldn't see zipping home and yelling howdy-do to my parents when they couldn't see me.
"Just take the shadows off. You stepped into them by wrapping up in them remember? Just unwrap." That sounded easy enough. I closed my eyes and pictured in my mind letting the shadows fall to the ground around me like a dirty towel. There was no sound that I could hear, but I felt suddenly warmer. I hadn't felt all that cold after a moment in the shadows, but stepping out of them I could definitely feel a difference.
When I opened my eyes, I saw that Leif's color was gone too. "You hungry?" I was suddenly starved and ready to go home.
Shadow Dancer Boxed Set Page 4