"It feels like I'm lying to them. You know the kind I mean. A lie by omission," I said, pointedly staring at Leif.
Leif stared right back at me, not replying, not taking the bait. I don't know why I was in such a mood to fight. Maybe I really was running a fever.
"Fine. Sure. Let's go," I said to Leigha. I stuffed the last bite of granola in my mouth and walked out of the tent.
Leigha joined me and we started off into the camp to meet the people. A pack of children just about ran us down. They ran full tilt with tiny wooden swords clutched in their hands. They screamed and laughed all the way.
I saw a little blond head and yelled out, "Hey there, Carrie girl!"
She skidded to a stop and ran up to where Leigha and I stood. "Hi! You still here?"
"Of course," I said. "I told you I was staying for a few days. Where you off to in such a hurry?"
Carrie tilted her head. "Just playing."
"Do you know my friend, Leigha?" I asked.
Leigha smiled at the little girl.
"Yeah, she's the fast one," Carrie said.
Leigha's smile faded and I laughed at her discomfort. "Yes, she is. What do you think of her?"
"Sunny," Leigha said.
I waved her down. It was fun to tease the rigid rebel.
"I like her hair. It looks like the fire. Are you really her friend?"
"Yes, I'm really her friend. Why?" I asked.
"Well then, do you think you can get her to let me on her team for the summer games?"
I looked at Leigha and asked, "Summer games?"
"Yeah, they are so much fun," Carrie interrupted. "You get to run and race and shoot and fight, and it's just the best thing. We wait all year for it. I am finally old enough to play and I want to win!"
"Well, they sound fantastic. I'll see what I can do for you," I said.
I leaned down and loudly whispered in her ear, sure that Leigha could hear, and said, "I have a little pull with the rebels."
"Really?" Carrie said eyes wide, awe in her voice.
Leigha just rolled her eyes. It made me laugh again. I was feeling a little better and all it took was a sweet little face with blue eyes and a carefree spirit.
"Can we go now?" Leigha asked.
"Oh, you're no fun," I said to Leigha. Then I turned back to Carrie. "Well, we are off to meet some new friends. Anyone in particular I should hunt down?"
"My sister, Kat! Oh, but she's not back yet. When she gets back, you have to meet her. She is the best!"
"Really, we need to get moving," Leigha said. She was getting antsy and edging her way forward.
"Alright," I said. "Geez. Well, little Carrie, you let me know when your sister gets back and I will happily meet her."
"Kay!" she said. "Bye!"
Then before I could say bye to her, she was off, running as fast as her little legs could carry her, to catch up with the others.
I looked at Leigha. "What's up with you, grouch."
"Nothing, there are just other people to meet," she replied.
"You mean more important people to meet, right?" I asked.
"She is only a child," Leigha said.
I cut her off and said, "Every one of these people matter. I don't care if they are children or old and decrepit. I'm here for everyone, not just the young and strong."
"That wasn't what I meant," she said. She wasn't looking at me though. Her face was lowered, focused on the ground at her feet. She was upset.
"I know it wasn't what you meant," I said. Why was it that I always seemed to be hard on Leigha? We had rubbed each other wrong when we had first met, but in the end we had found a common ground. At least I thought we had. Now she was back to being a hard stranger to me.
I put my hand on her arm and stopped us, then said, "You and me, we have been through quite a bit together, right? I know we haven't seen each other in months but I still consider you my friend. I need your support."
She didn't say anything for a moment; she just looked out over the camp. Then she turned and focused on me and said, "Are you even taking your presence here seriously? Do you understand what it means for us?"
"I am taking it seriously. This is huge for me," I replied.
"It just seems like we are a game to you," she said.
"Why? Why would you think that?" I asked. Thinking back over the last few days I had had very little time with anyone. Certainly not time to make her think Acadia was just a vacation for me.
"You aren't even trying," she said.
What the heck? "I am too!" I said then grimaced. I sounded like a child.
I tried again. "Leigha, I am trying. Very hard. I don't know what more I can do? What do you think I need to be doing? Tell me and I will do all that I can."
"You need to want to learn about our world. Not whine about the horses or the food. Not hiding in your tent all day and night. You need to understand the people here. Understand their fight," she said.
She was begging me and I was astounded. I could give the excuse that I had not been prepared, but then, I hadn't really asked. I had, but only half-heartedly and I hadn't really cared. I had expected Leif to take care of everything. He had in his own way. Not the way I would have wanted, but he had taken care of everything.
"I haven't been hiding in my tent," I replied. "But you are right about the rest."
Leigha nodded her head once at me.
"Come on, let's start with the people," I said. "That, I can do."
~ * ~
"So how'd it go?" Gavin asked. He was waiting outside my tent when Leigha and I finally made it back close to nightfall.
"Wonderful, tiring," I said. Leigha and I spent the day with the people in tent city. At every stop I met new faces, new families.
"I'm stuffed," I groaned.
"You could have declined," Leigha said.
"What? Declined what?" Gavin asked. He looked from me to Leigha and then me again.
"Food," I moaned. I flopped down on the dirt next to Gavin. "Every home we stopped at ...? asked us in and fed us. All I did all day long was eat. I'm going to explode. Ugh."
Gavin laughed.
"She's not kidding, either," Leigha said. "She didn't turn down anyone."
"I couldn't," I said. "It would have seemed rude. They were offering me a welcoming meal or whatever. I had to accept."
Leigha giggled. "It was fun today, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, it was," I said.
"So, what do you think?" Gavin asked.
"I think," I said and got to my feet, "I need to walk off some of this food.
"We've been walking all day," Leigha said.
"Now who's whining," I replied. "Just down the lane and back. Come on."
"Alright. You too, Gavin. If I have to go, so do you," she said.
"Okay, we're walking. Now, Sunny, what did you think?" Gavin persisted.
"Well, I think that not everyone here is wonderful. Some are here because they are bloodthirsty hacks, but then some really believe in a better life. A freedom."
"That's true anywhere you go," Gavin said.
"I know. Did you know that a lot of the people here don't even think I exist?" I asked
"Yeah. Actually they do, they are just afraid to believe it. Then they would actually have to hope," Leigha replied. "This way they can't be let down."
"But this just makes my life harder. They aren't going to believe me and I don't know how to prove it."
"We'll think of something," Gavin said. "We always do."
"Yeah, but think about how hard it was for me to believe. Me, just one person. There are hundreds here."
"Only about one hundred fifty, actually, and only half are soldiers," Gavin replied.
"That's not the point, Gavin. We need a plan," I said.
"We'll figure it out," Leigha said.
Yeah, I was sure they would, but the real questions that swirled around in my brain were, what if they don't want me? What if they don't even like me? How in the world was I supposed to hel
p regain the kingdom, their freedom, and a better life, if my own people didn't support me?
"You can't expect them to believe in you, Sunny, if you don't believe in yourself," Gavin said.
~ * ~
"You hungry?" Leif asked.
I had only just walked back into my tent when Leif stepped inside behind me. I wanted to be petulant and ask if he thought about knocking, but I didn't. Instead I simply said, "No."
"How was your day? What did you think? Who all did you meet?"
"Hello to you too," I said. I dropped down onto the pile of floor pillows and looked up at him.
He tilted his head to the side, heaved a big sigh, and then dropped down next to me on the floor. He pulled me onto his lap and into his arms. I willingly went and snuggled in. I had been feeling at a bit of a loss with Leif lately. He was very standoffish and abrupt with me.
"You're different here," I said.
He shrugged then said, "I have more responsibilities here."
"Like what?"
"Just…lots of stuff," he replied.
"You used to talk with me, kiss me, hold me. I never see you anymore. Then when I do, you're distant. Now you…," I stopped and shrugged.
He gave me a tight squeeze. "We only have a few more days here. Let's not worry about it now."
I wanted to pursue it, but I also didn't want to fight, so I gave him what he wanted and said, "All right."
He gave me one of his lovely smiles, dimples and all. I hadn't realized how much I missed seeing that look until then. How absent his smile had been the last few days. I shook my head and smiled back at him.
He leaned toward me and brushed a gentle kiss over my lips. His breath whispered over my face, and my eyes fluttered shut. I buried a hand in his hair and pulled him to me, demanded more. He gave me what I wanted.
I twisted around on his lap and came up on my knees before him. I pressed him back against the pillows and covered his body with mine. His arm snaked around my waist before he pulled me tight against him.
That was what I needed, that was what I wanted. Leif. His hands roamed over my back and down to the waistband of my jean shorts where he hesitated for a moment before he slid them under the material and against my skin.
I felt his heart race against my chest. Mine matched his, beat for beat. He wrenched his mouth from mine and trailed his lips down my neck. When he reached the curve of my neck and shoulder, he bit down just hard enough to sting before I felt his tongue trace the pain away.
He growled low in his throat. It rumbled against my body. That was the only warning I had before he roughly rolled me off of him. He jerked to his feet and towered over me. His breath panted out of him.
"Damnit!"
I lay confused and sprawled out on my soft pillows at his feet in a stunned silence. He had gone from passion to anger in a heartbeat.
"What just happened?" I asked. I sat up and straightened my clothes before staring up at him.
"I have told you, I can't do this," he said.
"Do what? Kiss me? Be with me? What?" I asked, as my voice rose to match his.
"Ugh!" He growled. Then he turned on his heel and walked out.
I huffed out a breath in frustration.
After a few minutes, when I realized he was not coming back, I got to my feet and doused the lantern in the front then turned down the one in the back. After redressing my leg with more moss and a clean wrap, I just went to bed. I'd had enough for one day.
Chapter Eleven
King and kingdom
The next two days passed as the last. I started my day at the barn with Taylor and the rest of the day with Leigha or Gavin going about meeting and being with people. I talked with them, helped them, laughed with them. There were some I realized I was never going to like, and others who were easy to claim as friends.
My evenings were spent in a tense truce with Leif. We would have dinner together. He would tell me what to do and not to do. Then he would leave me to sleep alone in my yellow tent. No kissing, no nothing.
The beginning of my sixth day in Acadia seemed to start out as any other. I took my ice shower and then headed directly out for the barn. On my way over, I ran right into a familiar big and burly form.
"Aiden!" I shouted.
Seeing me, he smiled big and full.
I raced over to him and wrapped my arms around him and gave a quick happy squeeze. I hadn't seen him since the fight on Thanksgiving when I had defeated the Shadow Guard. Leif and the others had taken him back to Acadia and that was the last I had seen him. "Leif said you decided to stay with the rebels. Why? I have been hoping to see you. Where have you been?"
"Which would you like me to answer first?" he asked.
I grinned. It was such a happy surprise to see him. He looked good too. The sadness that had always hovered around him was missing. "Come on. Tell me what's going on with you."
"Well, as you know, I came here a hostage, but wasn't one for long. I decided to stay. I'm happy here, and I think we can do some real good. Have you seen your people yet?"
Leif had told me about Aiden and how he wanted to help us. "Just the ones here in the camp, so far," I replied.
"Do you plan on seeing the rest?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. Leif hasn't really told me everything I'm doing."
Aiden regarded me. His eyes squinted in concentration. "You rely on him too much. You should be making your own choices."
That wasn't news to me, as I was beginning to wonder the same thing. I changed the subject. "So, where have you been? I haven't seen you around camp?"
"I was out with a group of trackers. We just got back."
"What were you tracking?" I asked. Since I was found, what else did they have to find?
He smiled at me and said, "You aren't the only lost shadow walker. There are others out there who don't understand what they are or where they come from."
That's how Leif had been found. I'd forgotten. "Oh, yeah. So how was your trip? Did you find anyone?"
"Not this time. What happened to your leg?" he asked.
"Arrow," I said.
He lifted an eyebrow at me, but I didn't say anything more.
~ * ~
After saying goodbye to Aiden, I proceeded on to the barn. Taylor was already there, as usual, working away. I passed by him with a shout out. "Hey."
I gave Poppy a bit of attention then thanks to a bit of training from Taylor, let her out of the barn and set her free in the field with the other horses. She pranced away happily. That was the extent of my work at the barn. I leaned against the fence and watched across the field.
"Never thought you would keep showing up day after day," Taylor said.
"Why not?"
"You just aren't the type. You're kinda girlie," he said.
I laughed.
Taylor stepped up next to me and leaned against the fence as well. He looked out over the land like I was and then said, "I know you aren't from here."
I didn't pretend to not understand. "I don't actually know where I was born, but I belong here now," I replied slowly.
Leif had been pounding into my head all week that I was not to tell people who I was, until they decided it was time. So I was careful with what I said to Taylor. It still felt like I was lying, no matter what Leif said.
"Did you grow up here?" he asked.
"No, I grew up on Earth. Umm...the water realm," I said.
"I knew it."
"How did you know?" I asked.
"Don't take this the wrong way, but you're a little different," he said.
I didn't take offense. In fact, I laughed and then said, "How can I take that the wrong way?" I waved away his concern, "Don't worry. I know I'm a little strange compared to Acadia standards.
"I've heard of the water realm. Why would you want to come here?" he asked.
Sometimes Taylor seemed so sad. That was one of those times. I had to think about my answer before I said, "This is where I need to be right now. I'll be going ho
me in a few more days, but even then, I'll be back in a couple months."
"Why?"
"Why am I coming back?" I asked.
"Yeah. Life seems like it would be so much better in your realm," Taylor said.
"Every place is hard at times, Taylor."
I turned to face him and then waited for him to turn to me before I continued, "You have to decide where you want to be and then find happiness in your choice."
He was quiet for a moment but then he said, "You sound really old sometimes. How old are you?"
"Sometimes I feel really old. It's been a rough year for me," I said on a huffy breath. Then, "I'm seventeen."
"It's been a rough few years for me too." He turned back to look out at the field.
"If you're so unhappy, why do you stay?" I finally asked.
He shrugged. "Where else am I supposed to go?"
I didn't have an answer to that.
We stayed there against the fence for a while longer, enjoying the easy company of the other. Before I knew it, it was time for me to head back to meet up with Leigha or Gavin or whoever was sent to babysit me that day. "I'll see ya tomorrow."
"Yeah, I'll be here," he replied.
I had barely made it into the main camp when I heard someone shriek excitedly, "Leif!"
I turned, and in shock and dismay watched as a tall leggy blond tossed herself at Leif. She wrapped her legs around his waist and devoured him whole with a kiss.
Leif simply stood there, stiff and surprised for a moment with his arms out to the side. Then I saw, to my great surprise, his arms wrap around her. He kissed her back. A big, passion-filled, needy kiss.
When he buried a hand in her hair and held on, I turned away. I couldn't watch anymore. My heart actually hurt. I realized I was hunched over where I stood in the middle of a crowded lane. Tears, I didn't even know I was crying, streamed down my face.
I grabbed hold of the shadows. I pulled their cool comfort over me and phased into the shadows. Their heavy weight settled over me like an old friend. From there, I ran. Not to my tent or anywhere in particular, I just ran. Once the camp was behind me, I dropped to the grass and cried, big fat tears of devastation. I at last knew the reason he always pulled away from me.
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