I hid my smile though and replied. "Yes, but where is everyone else?"
"Gone," she replied.
"Oh," I said, surprised. Was she here all alone?
"I'm not a'sposed to talk to you anymore," she said.
"Why not?" I asked and crouched down in front of her. I wanted to see her face.
"Cause you're mean," she said, "and you made Kat cry."
I made Kat cry? So? She had made me cry too. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make anyone cry."
"Why did you leave then?" she asked and her little angry mask cracked, just enough for me to see the sadness beneath.
"I had to leave," I replied and reached for her hand, which she let me take hold of. "I was really sick."
"But you aren't sick now. Why didn't you come back?"
I sighed. "It's complicated, honey."
"You didn't even come for the games. You promised."
I had completely forgotten about the summer games. Oopsy. "I'm sorry I missed them. How did you do in the races?"
She just shook her head at me in answer.
"Where is Kat?" I asked.
"She had a meeting."
"Here? Close by?" I asked. "I need to talk with her and Leif."
"Why?" she asked. "Are you going to take the rest of the people from us too?"
What stories this girl must have been told. Apparently, I was the bad guy…girl. Whatever. I ran a hand over her head and stood up. My legs were cramping down in that crouch. "I didn't take any of the people."
"Yes, huh. Kat said so. You took all our people and now we don't got an army."
"Carrie, where is Kat?"
She crossed her arms over her chest again and pressed her lips firmly together. I got the feeling she was not about to tell me anything. I was now an enemy in her eyes. Great, they had turned a little girl against me. How nice.
I felt Gabriel step up behind me. I turned to see him in the exact same stance as Carrie. Legs wide apart and firm against the ground, arms crossed, and expression mutinous. But Gabriel I could see had a twinkle in his eyes. I knew I was right when he winked at the little girl. Carrie's eyes widened in surprise, but she didn't back down an inch.
"Strong little thing," I heard Jack whisper. I agreed, but then she needed to be strong to survive.
Gabriel and Carrie continued to stare at one another. Finally, Carrie got tired of the game and said, "The stables. They turned them into a meeting place since we got so few horses now." She glared at me again. I assumed that the lack of horses was my fault too.
I nodded at her and said, "I know where that is. Want to come with us? You can be a part of the meeting."
"I'm not big enough yet to be in the meeting."
"You are if I say you are," I said. Did I want her there just to prove that I wasn't the bad guy? Partly, I admit it. But it was also so that I knew she wasn't roaming the camp all by herself. The place was creepy in its emptiness. "Come on. Let's go see what we can find at this meeting."
We found our way quickly to the stables. They looked the same now as they had before, at least. The only difference was that the little herd of horses that used to dot the field connected to the stable was missing. The field was empty.
I stepped inside the stable and headed toward the back where a hum of conversation could be heard. The guys and Carrie followed close behind.
"What are you doing here?" Leif snarled as soon as I came into the light of their lanterns.
The area in the light was fuller than I thought it would be. I was picturing in my mind Leif, Kat, Leigha, and Gavin sitting around a table making plans. Instead, the room was crowded full with people. The camp wasn't as empty as I thought it was. "I came to have a discussion with you."
"We already tried that," he said. "You wouldn't listen."
"No, we didn't already try that. You popping unannounced into my bedroom and then manhandling and threatening me is not a discussion."
Leigha's eyes flew wide at my statement. "Leif. You didn't?"
"She's making more out of it than it was," Leif said without even bothering to glance her way. His eyes stayed trained on me.
"No. I'm not," I said and returned his stare, glare for glare.
"So, you want a discussion," Kat said as she stood up. "Well, what shall we discuss? You stealing all our soldiers?"
"Kat, you know that's not true," I said.
"This is all that is left of us!" she shouted and swung her arm around at the room and the people within it.
Gabriel squeezed up on one side of me with Jack on the other. Lucas was tall enough that he just stood behind me. They were providing support for me as well as a show of force for the others.
"I'm not alone this time," I said. "Do you want to have a discussion or not. It's up to you."
Kat and Leif held a whispered conversation, full of fierce hand and arm gestures. Finally, Leif turned back to us and said, "We will talk. Outside. The rest will stay here."
"No," Gabriel and Lucas said at the same time with almost the same amount of force.
Jack, however, said, "Now, wait a minute boys." As if they were young children.
"No," Gabriel said. "She is not going off alone with him."
"That's my terms," Leif said.
It was my turn to hold a whispered conversation. I turned to my guys and said, "Look, this is why we're here. You guys hold down the fort with all the others. I can handle Leif. He's only one man."
"I don't like it," Lucas said. "He's tricky."
I agreed. "Yes, he is. But I know him."
Gabriel turned to Jack and said, "Well?"
"Well," Jack said, never once taking his eyes from where Leif stood, waiting. "I think the girl can succeed with the young lad where we will not. Give her a shot. We're right here if she needs us."
He turned his eyes on me and asked, "You can scream can't you?"
I smiled and said, "Yeah, I can scream."
He nodded once firmly and said, "There you go. If she needs us, she will just scream."
Gabriel arched one eyebrow and said, "Just scream? That's it?"
"What more do you want?" Jack asked.
In as much of an agreement as we were going to get, Leif and I headed outside the stable. Just outside the doorway. That was as far as my group was willing to bend. Once outside Leif rounded on me and said, "You ready to come back to me?"
I took a deep breath to settle myself and said, "Leif. There is no going back. You know that, right?"
"What are you doing here then?" he snarled. Eyes as cold as ice bore into me.
"I wanted to see if you and the rebels wanted to join with us. We could use as many soldiers as we can get."
"No," he snapped. "You can join us though."
"Leif, what's the difference?"
"The difference is that I will not be ruled by you or your army. I…am in control of me and my army."
"Control," I whispered. "It always comes back to that one word doesn't it?"
Silence greeted my question.
"Leif," I said firmly. "I hate to break it to you, but this isn't about you. This is about Acadia. It's not about you and any of your so-called control. You can either join with my army to have a chance of winning, or you can stay on your own and you will lose. You will waste what little soldiers you have left to be slaughtered like pigs, all for your stupid pride and control." I shrugged at him. "It's your choice." I turned to head back inside. There wasn't anything else I could say at that point. I knew then that he wouldn't give up anything that he perceived as his.
He grabbed me from behind and spun me around. I had forgotten that he still considered me his as well. I remembered quickly enough though, at the painful grip on my arms. "Leif," I warned.
"What?" he growled. "Still afraid of your gift? Afraid you will lose control? Again?"
His words were meant to slice, to hurt. They didn't and for a simple reason. "No," I replied. "If I was afraid of losing control, I would have already." I pulled in energy from around me i
ntentionally. I pulled in enough to allow myself to glow with it. "If I want to, I can easily zap you." I had enough energy inside that it crackled around me. Because of it, my hair stood out in waves around my head.
The grip on my arms loosened. I closed the distance between the two of us and rubbed up against him like a cat. The static electricity zapped him once and then again. He flinched but didn't back away. "Maybe that's what you want? You want me to be uncontrolled, because that keeps me weak, doesn't it. It keeps me afraid."
"God, you feel so good," he said and closed his eyes.
"You want me afraid," I purred and pressed up against him. "You want to control me, don't you?"
"Sunny," he groaned.
"Don't you," I whispered and leaned in just a breath away from his lips. "Say it," I said.
He grabbed my head in his hands and growled, "Yes." Then he moved in to kiss me. I had the energy and its power coursing through me and I used it as fuel for my disgust and anger. I zapped him. Not hard really. Just forcefully.
He jerked back and away from me. "What the hell!"
"I will not be afraid," I said and zapped him backwards again. Red rage clouded my vision, but I zoned my sights in on Leif. "I will not be controlled." I hit him again and he fell to his knees. Finally, I shouted, "I will not be used. Not for any reason and not by anyone."
I gathered the energy together and made to hit him with the full force of it. Just as I was about to let it loose, Lucas was in front me. I hesitated and quickly pulled back. The energy dropped to the ground at my feet and burst out around me in a circle. We all, Lucas, Leif, and myself, were tossed into the air with the force of it.
I hit the ground and lay still for a moment. Ow. My body tingled with the pain of the sudden stop. I sat up and a wave of pain and dizziness overwhelmed my head. "Ow," I said out load.
When I could finally open my eyes without pain hammering my brain, I looked around. Lucas sat next to me, a bit worse for wear, but all right. Madder than a hornet, but I couldn't blame him for being mad. "Sorry?" I said.
He huffed out a breath and said, "Why?"
That was a good question. I knew I had reacted badly. Childishly. I even knew why. Leif had hit a hot button of mine about the energy gift. He did it on purpose to see what reaction I would have. Well, I had reacted all right. "I was proving a point," I said weakly.
He looked at Leif who was still sprawled out on the ground a few feet in front of us and was just beginning to stir. "Did you? Prove your point, I mean."
"No." All I managed to prove was that I didn't have control. I took us all out with one blast.
He gave another huff of breath then handed me a hankie. "Here."
I was ashamed and embarrassed about what I had done. I felt like I wanted to cry, but I was holding in my tears for the moment. I wiped my eyes and then pressed the cloth to my nose. Once I saw that my nose was no longer bleeding, I tucked it into my pocket.
I stood up and stepped over to where Leif sat on the ground. He glared up at me. Before he could spew anything nasty, I said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."
"Just shows I was right. You can't lead an army. You can't even control yourself, let alone soldiers."
I nodded and said, "You're right. That's why I have asked for help from people I trust. That's why I have advisers that I listen to. That's why I am here."
Leif looked confused.
"You are a good leader when you want to be. We could use you in our ranks."
He was silent for a moment, his face softened and for a second, I saw him. My Leif. But he was gone so fast I may have just wished it. "No. I won't join you. You're on your own."
I was so disappointed in him. "Fine."
I turned to Lucas and said, "Come on. Let's get the others. I'm ready to go."
We went back into the stable where the others were holding a stilted conversation about the 'old days' of Acadia. I interrupted them and said to my group, "I'm ready."
"What happened to you?" Gabriel asked.
"Nothing," I replied.
"That's not nothing, on your face," he said and grabbed my chin and inspected my face. "Lucas?"
"Small issue," Lucas said dismissively. "Taken care of."
"You're leaving?" Carrie asked as she squeezed up next to me.
"Anyone is welcome to come with us," I said to Carrie specifically, but to everyone as well. Then, "The Army of the Sun is preparing and we could use as many good soldiers as we can get."
Kat jumped to her feet, knocking the stool she had been sitting on over. "You can't have ours!" she said.
"Kat, I'm not trying to steal your soldiers," I said. "I'm trying to give Acadia a chance at winning its freedom. We need all the soldiers we can get our hands on. The rebel group is too small to do any good on its own. You can't win by yourselves, but together, we all have a chance."
"No," Leif said from behind me. He shoved his way by us and stepped in front of his group.
"You and your stupid stubborn pride," I shouted at him. "You would sacrifice what's left of your army rather than join with us so that you have a chance. So that we all have a chance."
His answer was his silence. He stood and glared at me instead of saying anything.
"Leigha," I said, "what about you? And Gavin?"
Leigha shook her head sadly and said, "No. I won't desert my group. I can't."
"I stay where Leigha stays," Gavin replied.
"Jack," I said turning to the old man. I didn't know how to make the people come with us. The faces I knew looked sad and worried. The ones I didn't know just looked confused.
"You know," I said. "We are all fighting for the same thing here."
"That's what you think," Kat snipped.
That got my attention. "What are you fighting for then?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" she said.
Obviously. That's why I asked.
"You'll see soon enough," she said then turned away from me. I knew she wouldn't say anything more. She had planted the seed of doubt in my brain, and now she would wait and see what I did with it.
The question was, what would I do with it? What was their new plan?
Jack took my arm and said, "Come on. We can't do anymore here."
"But," I said.
"I'll walk you out," Gavin said and cut me off.
"Gavin," Leif said.
"No worries, man. I'll be right back," Gavin said and led the way out of the stable.
"Carrie!" Kat snapped when the little girl made to leave the room with us. "You stay here."
I shot a glare at Kat for her nasty treatment of the little girl. I hugged Carrie to me tight and whispered in her ear. "If you need me for anything, anything at all, come to Gabriel's woods. They will know how to find me."
Carrie nodded her head.
"I mean it," I said.
"Kay."
I sadly had to let her go. I turned and without looking back, left the building.
"That was a supreme waste of time and effort," I said the moment the sun hit my face. "Let's go." I was ready to get back to Gabriel's and then home. I was tired of that day.
"Sunny," Gavin said.
I spun on him and snapped, "What?"
He hesitated but then enveloped me in a hug and said, "Take care of yourself. Austin too."
I softened and hugged him back. "I will. You watch over Leigha and little Carrie, okay?"
He stepped back and smiled. "I will."
I wanted to ask him why he stayed, but in the end I knew. He and Leigha were too loyal. That is not a bad thing in general, but sometimes it really got in the way.
Lucas came over and wrapped his arms around me. The warmth of his body felt good against my skin. The strength in his arms made me feel safe. "Want to share a ride home?" he said and smiled.
"Sure," I said in the same teasing tone. "You drive."
"You got it," he said and placed a kiss on top of my head. He pulled us into the shadows and then phased us to Gabriel's.
"Hey, David," I said when I opened the door to my room and saw him sprawled out on my bed. "How's it going?"
"I like this new job," he replied without moving an inch from his cozy spot.
"I'm sure," I said. Since I was gone all day and the only time I used and needed his services was when I wanted to sleep, his job as a Shadow Guardian was easy. I still found it hard to sleep with him standing quietly over in the corner. The hum he put off when he used his gift helped, but it was still disconcerting.
"You look tired," he said.
"I am," I said and dropped next to him on the bed. "Long day."
He patted my shoulder and said, "Want to talk about it?"
"I just don't understand," I said. "Why are the rebels being so stubborn? There are so few of them left, why won't they join with my army so that we are both stronger? So we all have a better chance in the end. Leif is being a stupid guy about it all too." I huffed out a long breath and went quiet.
"Would you like my opinion?" he asked, his voice gentle.
"Sure, why not," I said. How bad could it be, right?
"You know he is a strong proud man, yes?"
"Yeah," I said.
"Why wouldn't you try to make him think it was his idea to join ranks then?"
"Because I hadn't thought about it. I wanted to see if they would join us. I don't like games, or have time for the games, so I went in and asked for what I wanted. Why is that so bad?"
He chuckled. "Because. His pride has already been damaged with so many of his forces leaving to join you. Then you walk in and demand the rest of his army."
"I didn't demand. Did I?"
"Yes, you did. In his mind anyway."
"Yeah, and I'm sure my blasting him, didn't help," I said.
He laughed out right then, so hard that the bed shook beneath us. "Yeah, I'm sure that didn't help. What happened?"
"He knew how to get to me. He played me and I walked right into it," I said and then chuckled too, finally able to see the joke of it. I was an idiot. I had played right into his hands.
"Well," he said, "no harm in trying right?"
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