She smiled back and said, "Yes, that is why I had Cinder look after you. You needed someone. You weren't ready for it to be me. Now, I think you are."
She really was pretty. The moment I thought those words, a snapshot of Cinder pushed forward in my head. They were so different, yet both of them held a part of me. "Are you in love with Lucas? Really?"
The small happy smile she was wearing morphed into a huge, beautiful showing of teeth. "God, yes."
"Like you did me?" I asked almost a little afraid of what she would say.
Her smiled dimmed a little, but stayed in place all the same. "It's not the same thing as what you and I had. Leif, you and I both had a strange attraction. It was more desperation and need than it was friendship and love. Everything was so new and scary and you were my link to the shadow world. I think I put a lot of emotion into you that was more out of fear of being left behind than I did out of real true love. Oh, don't get me wrong, I didn't know it at the time and, in fact, had I not met and fallen for Lucas, I maybe never would have."
"What do you mean? How is he better than me?" I asked.
"He's not better or worse. He's different and we mesh well. He understands me and my gifts and my fears. He doesn't demand I just get over it. He helps me to get through the hard moments, not force me to do it his way. You and me, we sparked, but that spark didn't take off." She hugged me again, almost as if she needed to give me a little support before she continued. "You knew it, too."
I started to shake my head no, but she cut me off. "Yes, you did. It's why you never really wanted me in that way. It's why it was so easy to push me away when I was all but throwing myself at you."
"It wasn't easy at all," I said. "It just didn't feel right."
"That's exactly what I'm talking about. We weren't quite right. We just weren't."
"How is Lucas right then? What makes him so different than me?"
She regarded me with eyes that I swear weighted me down. "Tell me about Cinder," she said out of the blue.
"What do you mean?"
She smiled again. "You know what I mean. Talk about sparks. They're flying like lightning whenever you two are in the same vicinity. What's that about?"
"It's not like that," I insisted.
"Okay, then, let's try something," she said.
I was a bit nervous suddenly. You never really knew what Sunny had in mind, until she was good and ready to tell you. She stepped up close to me, pushed up on tiptoes, and said, "Kiss me."
I was aghast. "What?"
"Oh, don't be a baby, Leif. Kiss me. I want to see something and I think you need to see it, too."
"See what?" I was stalling. My heart was flipping around like a fish out of water. Why was I hesitating? It was my chance to kiss Sunny again. It was a chance to show her how much I loved her and what she was missing out on if she married Lucas. What was I afraid of?
Sunny's eyes fluttered closed and she lifted up even closer to me. Her lips were inviting and slightly parted. Her breath fanned across my face. I wanted to kiss her. No, that's not quite true. I needed to kiss her.
I lowered my mouth to hers and took her lips to mine. I tasted, and I nibbled, and put as much feeling as I could into it, knowing in my heart that it was most likely the last time I would ever get the chance. Finally, we pulled apart.
Sunny looked at me with wide eyes. I think I stared back at her with the exact same expression. Finally she giggled and said, "So?"
I waited a second as reality dawned. "Anything?" I asked. "Anything at all?"
She pursed her lips and slowly shook her head. "Nope. You?"
"No." I was shocked, appalled, surprised, and any other word you could imagine, but the answer was still no. It was a nice kiss, but where were the sparks? Where was the passion? "I don't understand."
"We have changed, grown, we're not the people we were two or three years ago. What we had was not real love, Leif. It was new and exciting and lust. I know what real love is now. I found it with Lucas."
I felt very sad. All that time wasted pining. Now with one simple kiss, it was gone. The love of my life wasn't even real.
Sunny took hold of my hand and squeezed it gently. "Leif, you and me? We're supposed to be friends. Friends forever. Love you'll find somewhere else. Somewhere wonderful and it will be all that you could ever dream of and all you will ever need."
"How do you know?" I asked.
She huffed a small laugh and said, "I just know. You are way too good of a guy to be single for long."
I rolled my eyes, and said with as much mock distain as I could muster, "Whatever."
"You'll see, and then I get to say, I told you so," Sunny said.
She stepped into my arms and hugged me tightly against her and said, "I love you, Leif. I'm sorry it's not in the way we thought it was."
"We both thought," I said and hugged her tightly back. Sunny laid her head on my chest and I rested my chin on her head. It was just like old times, and I missed it. I missed her. Maybe it wasn't love, but it was definitely something.
We stayed like that for a while. It was an easy embrace, one that was all friendship, but familiar and comfortable. Then we heard, "Oh, excuse me. I didn't mean to interrupt."
Sunny and I both looked up to see a very red in the face Cinder. More red than normal, even for her.
"Don't be silly, Cinder," Sunny said and stepped out of our embrace. I instantly missed her closeness. It had been a long time since I'd felt such peace with the world and myself. Was that what my problem was all along? Was that why I had been holding onto Sunny so tightly all along? She felt like home. She was comfortable.
"You aren't interrupting at all. Do you need something?"
I stared at Cinder and my heart did a hard beat inside my chest. What was it about her that drew my attention? Was it her long, full hair? It was pretty and shiny, but it was just hair. Maybe it was her eyes. They were dark pools of mystery that I could get lost in. It could be her mouth. She had full, soft lips, bright white teeth, a tiny pink tongue, what was there not to like? I remembered the feel of those lips on my own mouth and realized maybe she was more than I realized. Maybe she was why Sunny and I didn't spark anymore.
"We were just checking in with you. The ceremony will be starting in a few hours. Don't you need to finish getting ready?"
Those big eyes of hers looked dark and sad. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest. Dejected, that was the word for how she looked.
Sunny tilted her face up to the sun and took in a deep breath. A smile sat easy on her mouth. She was beautiful in her own way. She took in a slow breath then turned to face Cinder, "Yes, I do have a few things to do before they start without me."
Cinder nodded one crisp nod and turned to go back to the castle. Sunny stopped her almost immediately. "Cinder? Is something wrong? Did something happen?"
"No. Everything is fine," Cinder said, but she didn't turn to face Sunny or me. In fact, she kept her rigid, straight back to us and stared out into nothing.
A warm heat started in my chest when I realized Cinder was upset with Sunny because maybe, just maybe she was jealous. I thought back to how Sunny and I had been embracing when she came upon us and I chuckled at the memory. Yes, jealous it was.
"What's so funny?" she snapped, both her voice and her head at me.
I shook my head and said, "Nothing. Nothing at all." The smile on my face denied my words, though.
Sunny looked at me, then at Cinder, then at me once more. A warm smile spread over her features, and then she winked at me. Sunny never was a dumb blond. She saw what I had and realized the same thing.
"You guys done yet? I'm so ready to get out of this sunshine," Austin said as he tromped back into the clearing with us. He saw Cinder had joined our little group, but he didn't mention it.
"Actually," Sunny said and quickly linked her arm within Austin's, "not just yet. Will you walk with me a moment? I think these two have a few things to say to each other."
"No, w
e don't," Cinder said with so much venom, if I was anyone else, it may have hurt my feelings.
I smiled at her instead of getting angry. Then I said, "Yes. In fact, we do."
I didn't watch Sunny and Austin stroll away. Instead, I headed directly to the woman that held my attention. The pink skinned, lovely, dark headed one that stood but a few feet away from me.
She took a hesitant step away from me, but that only made me smile bigger. She saw it and got angry at herself, as well as with me. She stood her ground then, her back ramrod straight and steel in her eyes. She was awesome.
I took hold of her arms gently, but firmly. I wasn't stupid when it came to Cinder. She was a powerhouse full of spit and fire, and could do some real damage, if she wanted to.
I stared into her eyes and made sure I had her full and complete attention then said, "Kiss me."
She startled and tried to pull away. I held her firmly, though, and didn't allow her to escape. I pulled her in even closer to my body.
"No!"
"Why not?" I asked. I wasn't upset with her quick and adamant refusal. I was going to change her mind.
"Because. I don't want to."
I laughed. "Yes, you do."
"No, I don't," she said.
"Are you afraid?"
She hesitated, for only a second, but I noticed it all the same. "No. I'm not afraid."
"Then kiss me," I said again.
"Why?"
"I want to see something," I said evasively. I had her. I knew it. The moment she stopped saying no, was the moment I had her.
"What?" she asked.
She wasn't stalling. She really wanted to know. I knew her mind better than I had realized. With all my thoughts and wants of Sunny now effectively gone, I could see what I had been hiding from. I could see what was right in front of me. "Trust me," I said.
She laughed right in my face. "Yeah, not," she huffed.
I wasn't upset with her forthright words. Oh, they pinched a little, but truth was like that. Sometimes it hurt. "Just this once. Trust me, Cinder. You won't regret it."
She regarded me with hooded eyes. What was she thinking? Finally, she tilted her head to the side, and said, "All right."
She closed her eyes and mockingly pursed her lips at me. I held in my laughter. She had spirit. That was what drew me to her all along. I took a chance and wasn't going to hold back. I lowered my mouth to hers, and sparks ignited. Hot and feisty is what she was. Her mouth devoured me as much as mine did her. I needed breath, but I refused to come up for air. I wanted to be dizzy over her. I pulled her tight against my body. I felt her breasts smash against my chest and I reveled in it. Her skin was warm in my hands. Her breath was sweet and moist against my face and in my mouth.
I groaned in her mouth when she fisted a hand in my hair and yanked me closer. We couldn't get any closer unless we were inside each other. I half wanted to try it, just to see if we could manage it. She was fire in my arms. My soul, so cold, and so empty, filled with her warmth. I didn't want our shared moment to ever end.
It had to come to an end, though, and sooner than I wanted. The throaty "Ahem!" broke into my consciousness. I pulled myself forcefully away from the bounty of Cinder's mouth and stared with cold fury at our interrupter.
A smiling Austin and a glowing Sunny stood a few feet away from us. Sunny had the grace to look away. Austin, never one for grace, said, "You going to be awhile, or are you almost done licking her face?"
"Austin!" Sunny said trying to sound firm, but the laughter in her voice wasn't all that convincing.
"I wasn't licking her face," I said coldly. Then I made the mistake of looking down at Cinder and all thoughts in my head vanished, except for the one that told me to kiss her again. So, I did.
I heard Sunny giggle as she said, "I guess that would be a no, he's not."
I was happy in my moment with Cinder. Then my mind came to screeching life when I heard the snarled, "Oh, yes, he is."
~ * ~
It wasn't so much fear that zipped through my body and mind at that moment. It was more surprise than anything else. There were many emotions that hit me upon hearing Kat's voice: annoyance, anger, even a smidge of happiness at knowing she was not dead, as I had thought.
However, there was something funny in Kat's voice. Something I had heard before. Something I had ignored for many years. I stepped in front of Cinder and said, "Kat. I thought you were dead."
"Unhappy I'm not?" she said.
Her eyes were glued to me. They stayed firm and cold. Her stance was hunched, her fingers were clawed. She appeared animal like. I glanced at Sunny and Austin. They were less than a few feet from Cinder and I.
Kat saw my glance and snarled. It was a real wolf like sound that made the hairs on the back of my neck rise up. I felt goose bumps lift up under my hand on Cinder's arm, where I still held her.
"No. I never knew what happened to you," I said. I tried to lower my voice to a calming sound.
"Did you care?" she asked.
"Yes, I did. Very much," I said. It was the truth. No matter what, Kat had been my friend since we were kids. I cared.
For a moment, a brief small smile showed, but it was gone before it could even take root. Her eyes darkened and she hunched further over and said, "Liar." She slowly shook her head back and forth. "All you cared about was her!" Kat stabbed a finger at Sunny without taking her eyes away from me for even a heartbeat.
Cinder shifted her weight and drew Kat's attention. The look on Kat's face made me realize fear for the first time in a long time. The look said death.
"Kat," I said and drew her attention back onto me.
She locked eyes with me again. "You were mine. I'm not going to lose you. Not to a blond whore and not to some fire bitch."
"Hey!" Cinder snapped.
I squeezed her arm to quiet her. Thankfully, she took the hint.
"Look at me, Kat. I'm right here," I said. My mind was furiously trying to find a way to defuse the situation.
"I know where you are. I have known for days. You can't hide from me, Leif. You are part of me. You belong to me."
Chills ran through my body at her words and her tone.
"You didn't tell me you had a stalker," Cinder whispered quietly under her breath.
I felt a zing of happiness even under the circumstances. Cinder could make a joke and make me laugh, all the while staring danger in the face. Man, I liked that girl. I gave her arm another squeeze and whispered through my teeth, "Funny."
Then, without giving Cinder any indication of my intentions, I let go of her arm and took a few steps toward Kat.
"Stop right there, Leif," Kat said.
"Leif. Don't," Sunny said.
"What are you…" Cinder said.
My mind thinking hard finally landed and held on an idea. "Kat. I thought you were dead. I'm so glad to see you."
"You are?"
"Where have you been? If you knew where I was, why didn't you come find me?" I continued and took another few steps in her direction. I needed to get close enough to stop her from doing anything we all would regret.
Her face changed from confusion to anger in the span of a footstep. "Don't you lie to me, Leif. I know you. Better than anyone else in this world, I know you."
"It's a funny thing," Sunny said drawing Kat's attention away from me again. Why did she keep doing that? I wanted Kat's full focus on me. I was pretty confident she wouldn't hurt me.
"What is?" Kat snarled.
Sunny smiled a creepy smile. It was more movement of lips than anything. "I am not of this world," she replied. Then before I could even prepare myself let alone anyone else, Sunny let loose of the energy I didn't know she had been gathering. She blasted Kat with white light. Kat flew back a good distance and crashed to the ground with a solid thud and didn't move.
I have to admit, it was actually a pretty good shot on Sunny's part. The energy hit almost directly upon Kat. She'd been practicing.
What Sunny always seems
to forget about, though, was the energy overflow. It covered the ground from Kat to where I stood, so fast I wasn't prepared for it. The white energy caught me at my shins and knocked my legs out from under me. I went down, hard on the ground, and my breath whooshed out from my lungs in a gush.
Man, that was going to hurt, just as soon as I could draw in a breath. I tried to relax my chest muscles and just as I predicted, pain echoed its way through my body as my lungs expanded for me to breathe. I slowly sat up and tried not to be mad at Sunny. It was hard, though, when my body was still twitching in pain.
Cinder was already at my side, patting me down, as if that was going to help. "Are you all right? Man, you went down hard. Did you see that?"
"Yeah," I said, "saw it, felt it, lived it. Thanks." I pushed to my feet and tried to act like I was tiptop, regardless of the lingering twinges in my body. I brushed off my clothes and said, "Sunny, you're getting better with that energy, I see."
She huffed out a half chuckle and said, "Oopsy. Sorry about that. You all right?"
Austin didn't hold back his laughter at all. "Man you went ass over head so fast. It was awesome."
I wanted to punch him, but I held back the desire. "I'm fine. Really. Cinder, stop patting me down. I'm good." Geez. I stepped back from Cinder and the others and walked over to where Kat lay motionless on the ground.
I squatted down over her and laid a hand on her back. She felt cool to the touch. Her clothes were worn and thin. The last few years had not been easy on her. I felt sorry for her. She and I, we'd been through a lot of years and a lot of crap together. She didn't deserve her life. "Kat?" I whispered next to her ear. "Can you hear me?"
She moaned and shifted to her side and quietly said, "Leif?"
I drew closer to her and said, "Yeah? I'm right here."
She wrapped an arm around my neck and pulled her body up against mine like a child would do. She seemed so small right then. So broken. I wrapped an arm around her back to give her support.
She looked into my face and smiled. It was a real smile, one that lit her face up from within. "I missed you," she said for my ears only.
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