He had to. Or they would both die. He was under no illusions that Falco would let him live this time.
As Falco went to work snipping off Dusty’s shirt, Theo quietly went to work on his restraints. He loosened his muscles, something that was harder to do than he’d initially thought. Every particle of his being wanted this guy, and it was super hard to relax himself. But he managed. Barely.
Dusty cried out at her sudden nudity when Falco had yanked her top off after snipping it in strategic places. Her cry tore at something inside Theo, but he managed to stifle his roar of rage. He couldn’t give away his hand too soon.
He sent Dusty a mental note, begging her to hear him. Just a little bit longer, baby.
“The knife?” Pulling a wicked-looking hunting knife out of a pocket of the cargo pants he wore, Falco spoke to Dusty, whose horrified face made Theo hurry. “Or the gun?” He drew the metal of each down one of her legs, and her muscles tensed in what was probably an effort to get away from the cold steel.
“Dusty,” Theo said quietly, but it got her attention. He willed her to keep looking at him. He wanted to say the words, but he wasn’t willing to let Falco hear them. He would use it against him this time, just like he had last time. Instead, he captured her blue eyes with his own, willing her to stay with him. Her eyes still held the fear he’d seen before, but now it was fuzzy, hazy. Dusty was checking out, and he said her name louder, needing her to stay with him, stay present.
Falco wasn’t paying any attention to him now, so while he was distracted with Dusty’s body, Theo took advantage of the looseness of the zip ties and moved them to a thicker part of his arm.
The weapons were moving up Dusty’s torso, toward her breasts. Still, he stared into her eyes. He couldn’t do this next part without letting her know for sure how he felt.
“I love you,” he mouthed silently. “Dusty.” He needed her to know, in case this went south. She looked at him, her eyes questioning. It was as if she didn’t understand. So he mouthed them again, almost a whisper. He needed her to know how he felt. But he still wasn’t willing to let Falco know.
Finally, he slouched enough and straightened his arms to get his bicep into the plastic cuff.
He grunted as he tensed his biceps and snapped the ties. Dusty didn’t even react. Great. She wasn’t with him anymore. She hadn’t understood what he was trying to say.
The noise had Falco turning with his weapons in his hands. Theo should have been wary of the gun, but he wasn’t thinking about that anymore. All he thought about was getting to Dusty, getting her safe, which meant killing Falco where he was.
Standing, he launched himself at Falco, not giving the man enough time to react and hurt Dusty. His legs were still strapped to the chair, but the chair had been left in a non-climate-controlled room for years. No telling how old it was before that. The weak, dry wood shattered on impact, freeing him. He grabbed his knife out of the sheath on his ankle and was on Falco in three long strides.
He grabbed his gun hand and wrenched it behind him, making Falco drop the gun. His other hand, holding the knife went around Falco’s neck in a choke hold.
“Wait,” Falco began to protest, but Theo was finally back in charge. It wasn’t anything to draw the blade across the man’s throat.
His body went limp in Theo’s arms, and Theo loosened his grip on the knife, letting it fall with a loud thunk. Theo dropped Falco’s weight and immediately went to Dusty.
He stood on shaky legs, still not believing he was here again, reliving all this shit with the only other woman he’d loved.
He undid Dusty’s bindings and helped her get off the table, needing to touch as much of her as he could to make sure she was okay.
When she fell into his arms, he was afraid she was gone. Not dead, he could feel her warmth and her shakiness and her heart pounding. Just gone. Living through an awful nightmare that had taken her sister would do that to anybody, he imagined.
But she looked up at him with wide eyes, and he saw for the first time, her innocence. Her trust in him.
“Shhh.” He couldn’t bear to hear her voice. He didn’t want to hear the trembling in it, or the shuddering tears he had no doubt were right there.
Pressing her head to his heart, they sat in the floor, next to Falco’s dead body, unable to move. His blood spread around them, but they stayed there, feeling the warm sticky fluid as it inched around their legs.
Liam and Jeremy entered the room, guns drawn, doing a quick sweep of the area before taking in the scene.
“He dead?”
Theo nodded.
Liam’s mouth was set in a grim line as he holstered his weapon. Jeremy let him take the lead, but his friend’s eyes spoke volumes. There Theo went with the eye thing again. They were sorrowful.
“What happened?” Jeremy asked.
“History repeating.”
A week later, Theo was packing when Liam showed up with Po.
Theo had just tossed all of his clothes in the giant Army-issued duffel into the back of his truck and was about to go back for a box of odds and ends and his hanging clothes when they pulled up.
“Hey,” he said awkwardly. He knew why they were here, he thought. Unless they were here to warn him that they’d told the cops what they suspected, then he was screwed.
“Hey, man. Just stopped by for a word or two.” Po smirked to himself as Liam spoke.
Must be more than a couple of words.
“Well, Jeremy and Miranda just moved out all of the living room furniture, so I’m afraid I don’t have anywhere to sit down,” Theo explained, not at all feeling sorry.
“No worries. Shouldn’t take long.” Liam leaned on his truck, so Theo mirrored the pose. “I wanted to let you know that we don’t think you’ll be a good fit after all.” Theo wasn’t surprised. He hadn’t planned on going back anyway. “The way you handled the case and the others working with you show us that while you could be a great specialist, you don’t work well with others. We need team players.”
“Understood. This case caught me off guard and didn’t paint me in the most positive light.” It was lip service. Theo gave him what he wanted to hear, nothing more, nothing less.
“The police seem to be taking things at face value, so there won’t be any more issues with that,” Po spoke up for the first time, giving Theo a meaningful look. Theo took it to mean that he was off the hook for the others. Maybe the cops thought Falco had done in his buddies. Maybe they just figured one less bad gang on the street. Maybe it was someone higher up. Who the hell knew?
Theo was done.
“Well, I’m moving to my place in the country. I didn’t think SEPS was going to have me back, anyway. I had decided this leave of absence was to get my shit in gear and get out.”
Liam smiled, looking relieved. “Well, we do a leave after every major incident.” Theo stopped the scoff just in time. Calling it an incident was both an insult and an understatement. “But it gave us time to think too.”
“Understood.”
They shook hands just as Jeremy pulled into the driveway. Liam and Po took off with a wave, as Jeremy got out of his car. Alone, for once.
“Hey, man. You getting everything?”
“Yeah. I don’t want any of this other shit. Just a box and a bag left.” Theo gestured to the house, but he walked over to lean on a tree in the yard.
“I’m glad I caught you before you left.” Jeremy shuffled his feet and looked at them instead of making eye contact.
“Dude. You don’t do awkward well. Spit it out.” Jeremy was almost as big as Theo was, just as many muscles, and just as badass. He just showed his sensitive side better. Hence the girl.
“I know you’re not going back to Serpent. And that’s cool, I guess. I just wanted to make sure you were okay with everything.” Finally, he looked up at Theo.
He was referring to the move. Jeremy was under the impression he was kicking Theo out of his home. Always had been. Apparently, he had no idea how badly T
heo needed to get the hell out of Dodge. He couldn’t risk staying here and running into Dusty after…everything.
“It’s okay. I really wanted to do something different anyway. I’ve had this place for a while, just needed an excuse to get into it.”
Jeremy bit his lip, and Theo blew out a breath of frustration. He was trying to be the good guy here, but he was tired of making everyone else feel better. He was ready to go have a bottle or two of bourbon and order some bees. He had a life waiting for him.
He just had to get away from this one.
“I know,” Jeremy blurted. “I saw some of your plans you’d drawn up back in Syria, so I know what you had planned for those guys.”
Theo’s eyebrows rose, and he took a step backward. He really wanted to go. To hear Jeremy say he’d known all along was shocking, and something Theo did not want to process right now.
“I almost offered to help, because I knew what happened to Sunny changed you. Not that I knew you before, but I just knew. But I also figured it was something you had to do.” He raked a hand through his hair. “Now that it’s done, I just hope everything is okay, and that you can find a reason to live again.” His smile made Theo feel lighter for some reason. Maybe it was his words. Whatever. “Maybe things will get better with Dusty.”
Theo shut down immediately. He was not getting into that with anyone. He hadn’t even figured it out himself. Not really.
“Yeah, that won’t happen. Dusty and I were connected through Sunny. That connection is gone.” He hoped his words ended the track of the conversation, but he heard them the same way Jeremy did. They didn’t sound the least bit genuine.
Jeremy’s smile turned sad. “Okay, then. Maybe things will get better with yourself.”
Himself. That was the key here, wasn’t it? “Yeah, maybe.” They shook hands and backslapped in that way that brothers do. “Hey, you and Miranda should come out sometime when I have the place fixed up.” The offer sounded hollow. “I mean it. Really.”
“Yeah. Sure.” Jeremy offered a wave before disappearing into the house, presumably to get the last of his shit.
So Theo did the same. An hour later, he was loaded up, gassed up, and on the road.
Dusty looked at herself in the mirror, flattening her dress over her growing tummy.
In the last three months, she’d visited with the police, lawyers, psychiatrists, and eventually a realtor. This morning, she signed the papers selling her bar to a nice young gentleman who was looking to run a party place.
Not her problem.
She had a small wad of cash now, and a hefty bank account, with no plans for any of it, except to buy a small house somewhere and set up shop, trying to make a living doing whatever it was she did best, which she had yet to figure out.
She had a conversation to have with Theo first.
There were things she wanted to know. If he was happy. If he’d let go of the past. Why he never kissed her. If he wanted anything to do with his baby.
All very important things she needed to know.
Dusty had just found him, actually. After a failed attempt at the house she thought he’d lived in turned into an awkward conversation with some guys who were starting a new business together and decided to move into Theo’s old house with each other to cut costs.
Jeremy had been the one who gave her his address. She should have tried Serpent first, but she hadn’t because she’d known he didn’t work there.
He’d said he loved her.
That right there was why she was even doing this. Even though, she clearly saw the defeat in his eyes as he’d mouthed the words. Even though, there was every possibility he’d thought they were both going to die and he just wanted her to feel better. Even though, she knew he hated her.
He’d still said them. She would carry the memory of that to her grave.
So, now she was about to leave her apartment for good and head to his place in the country. Two hours to get there, two hours to talk, and then after that, she’d probably head west and see what it had to offer. She would go as far as she could tonight.
Maybe a suburb would be a nice place to settle. She could paint pottery or something. Maybe find a bookstore to run.
Pipe dreams.
She knew what she wanted, but what she didn’t know was if he would be glad to see her or not. One way to find out.
Bees.
Theo had thought bees would bring him peace. He’d thought this house would bring him some measure of fulfillment. He’d thought getting his vengeance against Sunny’s killers would do it, too.
Honestly, taking care of nature’s miracles, while they worked and toiled to keep the world’s vegetation growing, providing food for everyone, should be satisfying to him. Making plans to collect some of the honey as fruits of his labor to sell at local markets should have satisfied him.
It had been the plan all along.
Three months in, and he couldn’t get fully behind it.
It was stupid, really. He’d created this kingdom, the twenty acres of green. Here, he was king. It should have been perfect.
But here he was, his plan fulfilled to completion, with only a few minor foibles. And he still wasn’t happy.
Not that he could call Dusty minor. Not by a long shot.
He blew out a breath, frustrated with his thoughts, and bent back to continue snipping the grass out from under the hutches.
He’d built the boxes, ordered the bees, tended them, and expected a batch of honey in the next couple of months. But being out here all alone, which was the plan, wasn’t satisfying to him. At all. Not like he’d thought it would be. It was lonely.
He’d thought his days would be filled with tending the hives and getting the house in order. Truthfully, there was plenty of work to do at the house, but the bees didn’t require as much tending as he’d hoped.
Theo wasn’t busy.
Sure, he was in constant motion. He actually did fix the roof, then started in on the sheetrock for the house. He’d painted the walls, choosing colors he’d thought Dusty might like, even though he cursed himself for it.
Dusty wouldn’t come. There was no way he was good enough for her. He’d almost gotten her killed, just like her sister, and that thought brought a pang of anger, quickly followed by emptiness.
Of course she wouldn’t come. He hadn’t invited her. Hadn’t contacted her at all.
Sure, he’d thought about her. Constantly. His anger ebbed and flowed, but it was now an anger at the situation, the timing, the circumstances. Not people. He wasn’t angry at Dusty or Sunny, or even Falco and his fucking gang. Okay, maybe there was still a little anger aimed at them. But they were gone now, and there really was nobody left to be pissed at.
It was such an empty emotion anyway. He’d clung to it long enough, and now that he’d mostly let it go, he was utterly empty, alone with his thoughts, his fixing up, and his bees.
Bending back over to snip more grass with his clippers, since his lawnmower perturbed his bees, he heard the sound of an engine bumping up his poor excuse for a driveway. He would have done something about the driveway sooner, but he was afraid it would invite visitors, and he wasn’t ready for that. He may not ever be.
Standing up, he saw a dusty moving van, pulling a beat-up navy Corolla behind it.
Surely, he hadn’t conjured her with his thoughts?
Then Dusty, with short blond hair, stepped out and shielded her eyes with a hand, looking around. Her gaze landed on the white boxes, then her neck shifted and he felt her eyes on him.
Felt them.
She didn’t look any different, except the hair. Short and blond. It was definitely Dusty.
What was she doing here? She was supposed to be moving on, living the gift of her life. Enjoying herself.
Before he realized what he was doing, he found himself halfway to her. He jutted his chin toward the house, inviting her to meet him there, instead of tromping through the field with her flip-flops. From this distance, he couldn’t
tell what color her toenails were painted, but he imagined some whimsical color on them. Purple, maybe?
Now, instead of hating her, he hated himself. Theo was supposed to be a grieving widower for the rest of his life, but now he was tamping down a love he’d never understood for his dead wife’s sister.
Who could want a man like that?
She wore a loose sundress, in a pale-blue color that reflected the color of her eyes, enhancing it so he practically fell into them. He got to his porch at the same time she did, and he couldn’t stop the question.
“What are you doing here?”
He was angry again. Angry at her for keeping him from attempting to move on. Angry at her for not moving on herself. He would never get over her if she showed up here, letting him know she was still around, still available.
“I have a question for you.” Her voice was so damn sweet, soft and lilting, sending a trickle of awareness up his spine, across his shoulders, and throughout his body.
He simply stared at her stupidly, daring her to ask her question.
When she didn’t, he asked one of his own.
“Who’s taking care of the bar?” Surely she wouldn’t trust anyone else with her baby. That bar was everything to her.
“I sold it.” She shrugged, her slight shoulders looking cold in the chilly breeze. He opened the front door and ushered her inside his house. “It didn’t seem as important anymore.”
She was looking around his foyer, leading into the living room and beyond, into the kitchen. He didn’t have much furniture, but it was painted. There were a few chairs in the kitchen, around a table, but other than a bed in the bedroom upstairs and a recliner in the living room that faced the window looking out over the highway, it was bare.
Embarrassingly so.
He had a cutting from the airplane plant Jeremy had sent him on his way with as a housewarming gift, but that was the only personal touch he’d allowed himself. The only memory of his past life.
“What’s the question?”
The Secrets We Keep Page 11