"No." Trinity shook her head. "Definitely not. I thought I had made it clear. I won’t take any medicines while I’m pregnant. I will not risk harming my baby."
"You have to realize, Trinity, that something has got to be done soon. You can’t go for weeks on end without getting nourishment of any kind. You’ll not only be hurting the baby, but you’ll be hurting yourself, as well."
Trinity squirmed uncomfortably in her chair. She couldn’t argue with logic like that, but she didn’t know what to do about it.
She refused to be put on any medication. She had heard too many horror stories about women who had babies that were born either sick or malformed, and years later it would be traced back to the medicine their mothers had taken during their pregnancy, the same medicine their doctors and the government had deemed safe. But at the same time, Trinity didn’t want to be cooped up in a hospital for any length of time. She didn’t think she could stand it.
As it turned out, Trinity could have saved herself the mental anguish over her predicament, because, as was his way lately, Chase made the decision. "Why don’t we give it a little while longer, Dr. Curtis? I’ve taken steps to ensure that Trinity will be able to get all the rest she needs. She won’t have the farm, the house or Stephanie to worry about, and she’ll have someone to cook and serve any type of food you think best."
The older man leaned back in his chair and viewed them both with interest. "And you’re going to cooperate, Trinity?"
She slanted Chase a reluctantly grateful glance for his astute assessment of her feelings. "I promise, Dr. Curtis. I know enough to realize I should have been trying frequently to nibble small portions of things like cheese and crackers, but I just felt too tired to prepare it, much less eat it."
"But you’ll start now? You’ll leave others to worry about the farm and Stephanie?" he persisted, evidently attempting to convince himself of her cooperation.
Trinity grinned wryly, reflecting that the good doctor knew her very well. "I promise," she repeated.
#
After that, Chase rarely left the farm, more or less moving his office to her kitchen, using the table as his desk. When mealtime came, he simply moved everything, including papers involving millions of dollars, to the floor until the meal was over. During the rare times when he couldn’t avoid the trip to Dallas, Chase always made sure that Mangus stayed with her while he was away.
In between bouts of nausea, when she could manage to put two thoughts together coherently, Trinity watched Chase with amazement. As the weeks passed, instead of getting bored and going away, as she had predicted, he became even more firmly entrenched in her home and life.
Hiring a man to take over the farm work, Chase took charge of the housework. He looked tirelessly after Stephanie and showed no distress about either cleaning up after Trinity or thrusting his hands into a sink full of dirty dishes and soapy water.
And he left no stone unturned when it came to her comfort and health. Chase bought Trinity a portable TV with remote control and installed it at the foot of her bed, as well as a very good stereo. She had only to mention a certain book or food and it appeared miraculously in front of her, in addition to the latest issues of any magazines and periodicals that he thought she might be interested in.
Trinity could only shake her head in wonder. It was nearly impossible for her to believe that this was the same hard, cold man she had met months ago. Yet she refused to believe that he could have changed that much in so short a time. Chase’s tough cynicism seemed somehow to have been transferred to her.
Returning from a trip to Dallas one evening, Chase walked into the bedroom carrying an armload of boxes. Tossing them on the bed where she lay, he began to pull off the tops.
"What on earth have you got there?"
"Maternity clothes," he enlightened her laconically.
"I don’t need maternity clothes," she protested indignantly.
"You can’t get your clothes buttoned now, Trinity" —he laughed at her—"and if those jeans you wear constantly are washed too many more times, they’ll fall apart."
She had been hoping that Chase wouldn’t notice how tight everything was becoming on her. She really couldn’t fasten her jeans anymore and had been making do by wearing big overblouses. Fortunately, Trinity had been eating much better and was beginning to fill out.
"I have some maternity clothes that are still perfectly good from when I was pregnant with Stephanie," she insisted stubbornly. Trinity didn’t add that she had worn the few items of clothing so many times that she had become heartily sick of them. That was why she hadn’t bothered to get them out yet. "And I’m sure Sissy has some left over that I can use."
"Sissy told me that you had given her the things you used when you were pregnant with Stephanie."
"Oh. That’s right. I had forgotten."
"And she’s dumped them."
"She couldn’t have!"
"They were rags, Trinity. Besides, when will you understand that you don’t have to ‘make do’ with old or borrowed stuff?"
Settling sullenly back among the pile of pillows on the bed, Trinity scowled.
Chase smiled serenely at her and spilled out the contents of the boxes. A rainbow of colors and textures fell around her, and, involuntarily she reached out to touch some of the clothes.
Beautifully cut and styled maternity clothes for every conceivable occasion were spread around her. Flowing silks and drifts of chiffon were fashioned into innovative and daring styles.
"They’re lovely," she admitted grudgingly. "Usually maternity clothes are horrifyingly practical looking. Where did you ever find such a selection?"
"A connection through Neiman’s. I just couldn’t see you in the usual frumpy maternity wear."
Chase’s blue eyes were warm and twinkling, and, for some reason that she couldn’t fathom. Trinity couldn’t bring herself to ask whether his connection was male or female.
He sat down on the bed beside her and held up one of the dresses against her chest, tilting his head to one side to get the effect. "This is my favorite. I was hoping you would try it on for me."
It was a silver-green swirl of a dress, long and flowing and very beautiful. But it was Chase that made Trinity catch her breath. Close enough that she could see the flecks of amber in his eyes and smell the musky fragrance of his skin, Chase’s touch was intimately compelling as he let the dress slide down her body but kept his hands on her.
"Your breasts are getting fuller," he rasped huskily, feeling them through the thin fabric of her gown. "Pretty soon you’ll have to start wearing a bra, won’t you?"
Trinity could only nod, such was the trance he had put her into. It was the first time in a long while that he had touched her with anything approaching sensuality. And maybe that wasn’t his intention now, but that was the way Trinity perceived it.
Lately, much to her chagrin, now that the periods between spells of nausea were lengthening, the natural needs Chase could always evoke so easily were reawakening in her.
His voice continued, deep and throaty, and reverberating through her brain. "I’ll hate it when you have to wear a bra." Chase began to slowly undo the buttons that ran down the front of her gown, finally parting it and running his hands over the naked skin he found there. "You have such beautiful breasts," he groaned right before his mouth found one hard tip.
Trinity moaned with the longing that shot straight through her at his touch. What was happening? She had been so sure that she didn’t love him anymore. Was it remotely possible that she could still be in love with him? She felt so confused. All Trinity knew was that, suddenly, she wanted him very badly.
She reached around the back of his head and held him closer to her, arching into his mouth. Chase Colfax was a silver-haired demon who had walked out of the moonlight on that long-ago magical night to possess her, and there didn’t seem to be any help for her.
Chase’s mouth released her nipple to trail up to the base of her throat. One hand still gently s
troked her breast, while he murmured into her skin, "Are you going to breast-feed our son?"
"Son?" Trinity managed to question raggedly.
"We’ll have a daughter next time," he whispered promisingly, arrogantly, his lips wandering up to take control of her mouth.
No! her brain screamed. She couldn’t let this happen! How could she have forgotten how he had tried to buy her . . . and, once she had agreed to their affair, how quickly he had gotten tired of her . . . and, most of all, how he had humiliated her with his sexual games of domination the night before he had gone to Europe.
"Stop it!" she cried, as she pushed him away with all her strength.
Chase’s words were a harsh gasp as he pulled back. "What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?"
"Yes ... No ... Oh, just go away!"
"Trinity, what’s wrong? Tell me."
"You’re what’s wrong," she lashed out bitterly. "You, Chase Colfax. You take and you never give . . . but you’re out of luck this time, because I’m through giving to you. Now, just go away and leave me alone!"
Trinity turned and began to cry. Bitter, unhappy, dejected tears coursed down her face, and she couldn’t really have said why. She was only dimly aware of Chase shoving all the boxes and clothes off the bed and of the mattress dipping with his weight. Great convulsive sobs wracked her body until she felt herself being pulled into Chase’s arms.
"Sssh, Trinity. Hush, now. You’re going to make yourself sick." His voice flowed with the soft velvet of someone trying to tame a wild animal, but it made no impression on her.
She hit out at him with all of her strength, beating against his chest with her fists. "I hate you," she yelled, "I hate you! I don’t want you to touch me ever again. Get out of my house and get out of my life!"
He pulled her tightly against him so that her arms were trapped between them, holding her so that she couldn’t struggle. "I know, baby," Chase murmured softly, "I know. Just be still now. I don’t want you to hurt yourself."
"I hate you, Chase Colfax," she repeated, sobbing with frustration. "I hate you. I’ll always hate you. Just leave me alone!"
Trinity could never remember afterwards how long she cried or how often she told Chase that she hated him. The only thing that she could recall was how Chase held her in his arms all night long, rubbing her back comfortingly with his hands, soothing her with the warmth and strength of his body, quieting her with the gentleness of his words.
The next morning, Chase had already left for Dallas when she awoke—but he came back that night.
#
In the days that followed, Trinity’s health returned, and with it, her objectivity. On the surface, nothing had changed between her and Chase. He continued to take care of her, the house, the farm and Stephanie with the same ready, unembarrassed solicitude that he had shown in the past.
And, of course, this didn’t include his own work. Trinity assumed that he had been able to keep abreast of his business concerns without too much trouble. It was funny that it had never occurred to her before that, by moving in to take care of her, he was putting his work in second place.
But then again, a lot of things hadn’t occurred to her. Completely well by now, Trinity began to take note of just what was going on around her, and what she saw shook her badly.
If ever a man had had the opportunity to turn his back on a situation and leave, it was Chase Colfax. Trinity certainly hadn’t shown a great deal of gratitude for his help and concern. As a matter of fact, she had told him innumerable times to leave.
So why had he stayed? And why did she suddenly care that he had stayed?
Months before, Trinity had set out to teach Chase how to let his guard down and leave it down, how to open up and show his love more—all with the hope that he would fall as deeply in love with her as she had been with him. Was it possible that she had succeeded?
Putting her fixed ideas about Chase aside, she endeavored to look at their situation from a different perspective. If the thousand and one things Chase had done for her over the past weeks didn’t prove that he loved her, what would?
Another relevant and very disturbing question that had to be asked was: Could it be remotely possible that she still loved him?
The answer had to be yes. Always truthful, even to a fault, Trinity had to admit that she had never stopped loving him. Chase had hurt her badly, but he hadn’t destroyed her love for him as she had once tried to convince herself.
Only one question remained to be asked: What was she going to do about it?
That stumped Trinity. She had been very explicit when she had yelled at Chase that she hated him and had ordered him out of her life. She had also told him that she didn’t want him to touch her again, and as far as she knew, he hadn’t. She went to sleep alone and she woke up alone. The indentation on his pillow was the only tangible evidence that he had shared her bed in the night.
But he hadn’t gone away, and therein lay her hope.
She started making her plans. Since Trinity had started feeling better, Chase had been flying into Dallas once a week, usually on a Friday.
Trinity knew that Chase, if he followed his schedule, would be going into Dallas on Friday. She surreptitiously arranged beforehand for Stephanie to spend the night at Sissy’s and managed to badger Mangus into preparing dinner and leaving early. By Friday afternoon, everything was ready but Trinity.
Though she didn’t have a shy bone in her body, Trinity felt quite timid about what she had planned for this night. The dinner was simmering in the oven, Stephanie had been picked up an hour ago and now Trinity was lying in the bathtub, uncharacteristically indecisive about what to wear.
The trouble, as she saw it, was that nothing looked good on her anymore. Her stomach was getting larger every day. She looked down at herself. I look like a beached whale, she thought, disgruntled.
All at once Trinity smiled at herself. She shrugged her shoulders philosophically, and got out of the tub. After all, she reasoned, it was a small price to pay for having Chase’s baby.
Applying lotion to every part of her body, she suddenly laughed out loud. Despite everything, she felt better than she had in a long time. The good food and the long rest had really paid off, and she knew she would have a normal, healthy baby. Stopping to put her hand on her stomach, she ventured aloud to the empty room, "Maybe it will be a boy, after all."
Opening the closet door, the first thing that she spied was the silver-green dress that Chase had asked her to try on the night he had brought all of the clothes home.
Trinity put it on. Her breasts had grown larger, and she had begun to wear a bra. However, this dress had an empire waist and gave enough support so that Trinity decided not to wear one for this evening.
The dress fell to her ankles and had a low, scooped-out neck and long, floating sleeves. Her hair hung clean and shining past her shoulders. Feeling pretty for the first time in weeks, she waltzed out to the living room to wait for Chase.
He arrived shortly thereafter, calling out her name as soon as he came through the back door.
"Trinity?"
"I’m in the front room, Chase."
Bursting into the room, his jacket thrown over his shoulder and his shirt unbuttoned to the waist, he looked tired and worried. "Where is everyone? Why are you here by yourself? Is everything okay?"
Trinity held up her hand, ticking off the answers to his questions on her fingers. "Everything is fine, Stephanie is spending the night with her cousins and I told Mangus he could leave as soon as he finished preparing our dinner."
After he tossed his jacket on a chair, Chase rested his hands on his hips with a disapproving look on his face. "Mangus should never have left you alone. His orders were to stay here until I got back."
Trinity shrugged casually. "I countermanded your order."
His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "What’s up?"
Suddenly Trinity was uneasy. The last thing she wanted was for Chase to be tied to her solely for the baby’s sake and v
ice versa. After tonight, the only reason she would accept for the two of them staying together was love. Could she have been wrong about Chase’s loving her? There was a distinct possibility that she had. However, either way, it was time to find out.
"Dinner," she responded lightly. "Are you hungry?"
"Not very." Chase sank down onto the couch, leaning his head against its back. He eyed her intently and commented very softly, "I knew that dress would look beautiful on you."
Her cheeks colored slightly as she fingered the material nervously. "It’s a lovely dress."
A glimmer of amusement flashed into his eyes at her obvious embarrassment, then they lowered to where her rounded breasts thrust above the low neckline. They lingered . . . and darkened.
Trinity chewed nervously on her lower lip. Oh, God, she felt so dumb! What was she doing? This was even harder than she had imagined. She knew she should say or do something to break the silence.
When she had envisioned this quiet dinner for the two of them, Trinity had thought it would give her the opportunity to sort things out with Chase, to find out just where she stood. But she had forgotten to figure out how to go about it, and evidently, he wasn’t going to make It easy for her.
Chase’s eyes came back to her face, but he didn’t say anything. He just continued to watch her with his intriguing blue eyes.
Fidgeting under his gaze, she asked brightly. "How was Dallas?"
His lips twitched. "Dallas was fine, Trinity. And the weather is hot. And the grass needs mowing. Now . . . what else would you like to talk about?"
Trinity jumped up and walked over to him, eyeing him hesitantly.
"Chase?"
"Yes, my love?"
Trinity’s heart jumped into her throat. He had called her his love, and that had to mean something. But even if it didn’t, he had unknowingly given her the courage she needed.
Sitting down beside him, she took his hand and placed it on her stomach. "Do you feel that, Chase?" His hand stiffened in surprise for a moment, but she pressed it more firmly into the soft, rounded flesh of her belly. "That movement is the baby you and I made together."
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