Something makes me whirl around to face him. “Where did she go?”
“The hospital, Your Highness.”
“The hospital?” I shout before my father can speak.
The butler looks startled. “Yes, I believe Her Majesty went to visit Miss Winchester.”
I glance at my father to see if he knows what’s going on, but he looks as surprised as me.
I run out of my father’s study and I get to meet Linnea as she comes into the house.”
“Hello Dante,” she says in a friendly voice.
I stride up to her, my face so menacing she shrinks back in fear.
“What are you doing?”
I catch her wrist in my hand. “Why did you go to see Rosa?”
“Let go of me this instant. I am your queen.”
“You are not my queen. You never were and you never will be. If you don’t talk fast I will break your hand.”
“How dare you threaten me?”
I squeeze her pampered flesh viciously and she pales. “Let go of me and I’ll tell you. I haven’t done anything wrong. I’ve only tried to help.”
I throw her wrist away from me, and she rubs the area where I grasped it. I feel no remorse for having caused her pain.
“You should be thanking me. I helped her. I knew that she would not be safe here so I put her on a plane back to England.”
“You did what?” I bellow.
“Don’t worry. I sent Elsa with her.”
For a full second I stare at her in disbelief. At the audacity of this woman. Then something clicks in my head. It is not audacity. Oh my god. No. I turn away from her. I might still be able to make it. I run outside. The driver who brought Linnea is just about to get into his car and drive off. I push him out of the way and get into the car. I drive through the streets of Avanti like a mad man. I speed through red lights and have two near crashes. I drive right past the security guards. Fortunately, I’m driving the royal car so there is no big commotion. I can see the plane taking off as I approach the tarmac.
“Fuck,” I yell. I put my foot on the gas and try to chase the plane. If the pilot sees my car he will not take off, but I am too late. The plane becomes airborne. I get out of the car and scream with frustration.
Five seconds after the plane is airborne it explodes and becomes a fireball. I stand there slack-jawed. My brain stops working. I just stare at the trail of black smoke as the fireball falls into the woodlands by the airport.
My legs buckle and I fall on the tarmac. My hands scratch the rough surface until they begin to bleed, but I feel no pain.
Chapter 40
Dante
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFnD3uwKHag
How do I live
I should have stayed in Avanti. I should have made them all pay, and God help me I will even if it is the last thing I do, but I can’t face any of it just yet. I fly back to Italy. How I pilot the plane is a surprise even to me. I arrive outside her apartment and finally something happens inside me. A sliver of ice thaws.
I fish the copy of her key that I made that morning when I brought her biscuits, out of my pocket and put it into the keyhole. My hand is steady as I push the door open.
I look up at those stairs and the memories, oh, God, the memories they crush me. Her running up ahead of me wearing her long skirt. Another time her bottom in tight white jeans. Laughing. Her laugh. I grit my teeth and take a step into the darkness. I close the door and start up the stairs. My movements are almost robotic.
In the near complete silence, I can hear my heart beating, but my chest feels hollow. I enter her apartment and I have to catch my breath for the astounding pain inside me. It flows in my veins, and strangles my neck. I drop to the ground. The sound of my knees hitting the floor is loud, but I feel no pain. No other pain, but the agony of her loss, can reach me.
It was my fault.
I should never have taken her to Avanti. How could I have been blind? So naïve. So fucking stupid? How can I carry on? My baby is gone. Both my babies. I had so many plans. The house I bought with the rose garden. It had a nursery. It was supposed to be a surprise. My big surprise. Ta da.
I stand up, walk to her bedroom, and sit on her bed.
If I close my eyes I can still see her sleeping, the moonlight on her cheek. How I wish I could turn back the clock. If only I had not taken her. If only I had insisted on following her upstairs when she wanted to change her shoes. I pick up her pillow and smell it. Her scent fills my nostrils and a tearing sound comes from my throat. I bury my face in her scent. Oh, Rosa, Rosa. Why did you go without telling me? All you had to do was call me.
“Fuck!”
I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe she is gone. It is not possible. I don’t want to believe it. I want to believe it is mistake, or a nightmare, or an elaborate joke. I want her to come bouncing in here and laugh at me for being so stupid.
The pain is so unbearable I want to howl with it.
I put the pillow back carefully in its place and look around the room. Her alarm clock. A glass of water. Her dry biscuits. I remember buying them that morning. I remember sitting down to watch her eat them. I never wanted to watch a woman eat before. She misread and mistrusted me, but that was another time, another place, another me. I would have done anything for her.
Anything.
I know I have to go back to Avanti. I have to look for her body. I have to avenge her. I have to protect my people from Linnea and Linnus.
But not tonight.
I stand up and go down the stairs. I walk into the pizzeria. It is full of people. The noise and clamor is a shock to my system. It is so noisy it hurts my head. There are people singing and clapping. It could be that I’m in shock, but I cannot make out the words they are singing.
It must be a birthday party because there is a cake with candles on it on the table. So, everything in the world is carrying on as if nothing momentous has happened. As if she is not gone. Antonio calls out to me with his hand.
I walk up to him, my movements are jerky, as if my limbs are being remotely controlled by someone inexperienced at it. He says something, but I don’t catch it. He repeats himself and I watch his lips carefully.
“How goes it?” he asks.
“She’s gone,” I say, my voice trailing, slow. The words are like ashes in my mouth.
“Gone?” he repeats, frowning.
I nod, still unable to believe it. Saying it has not made it real.
“Sit down,” he invites, his eyes searching my face.
A waiter brings two glasses of grappa. I down mine and feel nothing. Not even the scrape of it at the back of my throat.
“Give me two bottles,” I tell the waiter.
“Immediately,” he says.
“Please sit down,” Antonio says again, looking concerned.
My mind begins to shut him out, unwilling to deal with anything else other than my terrible pain. I put some money on the table and look around me, baffled at why I am in such a place. The waiter comes back with the two bottles. I grab them from him and stumble out of the restaurant.
It’s too late. Too late to do anything.
I half-walk, half-crawl back up the stairs. I don’t switch on any lights so it is as dark as a cave. The silence is strangely soothing after all the happy noises down at the pizzeria. I sit on the floor, unscrew the cap of the bottle, and drink straight from it. I remove the bottle from my mouth and it is half-finished, but the unbearable pain is still there. The grappa has had no effect on me. I take a few more gulps. Grappa is shit when it is not cold, but who fucking cares?
I close my eyes and see the plane bursting into a ball of fire. It can’t be real. I drink the rest of the grappa and toss the bottle on the floor. She should be here. I see her pretty blue eyes as she laughs. She should be here. It’s not fair.
I didn’t even get a chance to tell her I loved her.
I feel so damn empty it feels as if I’m hollow. I open the next bottle and swig a thir
d of it down. I haven’t eaten since last night and the grappa starts to take effect. Like a fog inside my skull. Everything is becoming fuzzy except my pain.
I take a few more mouthfuls.
I stand up. My legs feel unsteady. I can’t remember the last time I was this wasted. I stagger to her fridge, my mind whirling with crazy thoughts. What did she keep in her fridge? I know so little about her. I don’t even know the contents of her fridge. Grabbing the handle, I pull it open.
The light blinds me. I squint until my eyes adjust to the light, then I go closer. Milk, orange juice, butter, a bottle of club soda, two oranges, and a bar of chocolate. They are like a jigsaw puzzle. I try to imagine her buying the chocolate.
Tears start burning the backs of my eyes. I blink them away and wander aimlessly to her bedroom. It’s dark, but I can still see my way to the dressing table. There is a hairbrush there. I’ve seen it before. I switch on the light.
There is a man in the mirror. His eyes are glossy, too glossy, and his mouth is slack. He looks guilty. I look away from him. I pick up the hairbrush and bring it close to my face. In amongst the bristles I see strands of her flaming hair.
A chasm of grief opens up then.
I remember her saying, “I’ll haunt you until eternity.”
I begin to cry. I howl like an animal in an abattoir that has smelt the blood and suffering of all the animals who have gone on before it. I will never again be what I was. Sorrow will be my cloak for eternity. The fog of alcohol becomes thick clouds in my brain.
“Dear God, take care of my babies,” I whisper as I fall into blackness.
I dream that she visits me. She comes wearing a white dress with red buttons. In my dream I’m so happy to see her. I’ve been given a second chance. I tell her how much I love her, and she cries. It is so real I feel her tears fall on my cheek. I know it is a dream, but it doesn’t matter because I just won’t wake up. I never want to wake up.
I tell her I will hold her so tightly I will bring her back into the real world.
In my dream she laughs.
And it gives me goose bumps. That laugh. I’m too gone to get hard, but it is as sexy as fuck. I hold her so tight, determined not to wake up, but try as I can, I can’t control my dream. I fall asleep inside my dream.
“Don’t go,” I whisper as I fade away.
“I’ll never leave you,” she whispers.
I begin to cry, because it sounds like a lie. I try to hold on, but my fingers start slipping. I can’t hold on. “I’m sorry, I can’t hold on,” I whisper.
“Don’t worry. I’ll hold you. I’ll always hold you because you are my man.”
Then it becomes black in my world again.
Chapter 41
Dante
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCn4gTCalMI
It’s All Coming Back To Me Now
I open my eyes. Sunlight is filtering in through little cracks in the shutters. At first my alcohol marinated brain is too fried to make sense of the patterns on the wall. Where the fuck am I? My head is banging. Fuck, it feels like there is an electric drill in my head. Wincing, I close my eyes. In seconds my eyes snap open. Pain slams back into my body. It is not a gradual affair, but the full wallop in one shattering hit.
She’s gone.
I couldn’t hold her.
She’s gone.
She’s never coming back.
Hell, I need more alcohol. There must be more in that second bottle. I pull myself upright.
“Baby.”
I freeze. Slowly, very slowly, I turn my head and look at the other side of the bed. My eyes bulge. Rosa! What the fuck? I open my mouth, but no words come out.
“I love you, Dante,” she says.
My hand reaches out, trembling, disbelieving, ecstatic, hopeful. I expect my hand to touch air, but it connects with warm flesh.
I twist around and haul her into my arms. I don’t care why, or how, or what. I hold her tight. She is mine and I’m never letting her go again.
She makes a small whimper of distress and the sound reaches my brain. I loosen my hold. The bruises. My hands fly away from her.
I look down on her face. “Rosa?”
“It’s me, Dante.”
“Oh God. This better be real.”
“It’s real, baby.”
“How the hell?” I’m so shocked I can’t even get a proper sentence out.
“I didn’t get on the plane. I was going to. I was already halfway up the steps when Star’s car came onto the tarmac. Remember, I told you she was in Switzerland. She couldn’t reach me on my mobile so she called the palace. They told her I had been taken to hospital. So she went there. When she found out I had gone to the airport she rushed there. She made me go with her. I was so frightened for our baby I couldn’t think straight or even for myself. I mean, I actually let Linnea convince me it was a good idea to trust her with my life. So I went with Star, but I sent Elsa with my things.” Tears start to roll down her face.
“Elsa went down with the plane.”
She nods. “Poor innocent Elsa died because I didn’t take her with me. I feel so terrible. How could I possibly have known the plane would combust? It never even crossed my mind. I just wanted to talk to Star alone. I was lost. You don’t blame me, do you?”
“God, no. I don’t blame you, Rosa. Not at all. I love you with all my heart.”
She touches my face. “You love me?”
“I love you so much I wanted to die with you.”
“Don’t say that. Even hearing that hurts me. I’m already so broken with pain. I’ve been so blind and so stupid. I didn’t understand anything. I forgot to trust my own instincts. I trusted all the wrong people. They won’t get away with it, will they, Dante?”
“No, you didn’t. And no they won’t, but it was my fault. I shouldn’t have taken you to that vipers’ nest.”
“I am glad you took me. I have unforgettable memories. It is there I realized I was in love with you.”
I smile even though it hurts my head to do so. “It took you that long?”
She smiles back. “When did you find out?”
“I knew you were special straight away, but I didn’t want to believe it. Then when you came to Rome to tell me you were pregnant, I knew it was a sign. You were the woman for me.”
“Yeah, but when did you find out you were in love with me?” she asks, a cheeky smile on her face.
“You want to know the truth?”
“Of course.”
“While I was eating you out that first night in Rome.”
“What?”
“I realized you were everything I wanted. Everything about you was perfect. Your smell, your taste, your smile, those sounds you were making while I was sucking your little pussy.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“What are you going to do now, Dante?”
“I’m going back. I’m going to fight them,” I tell her fiercely.
“How are you going to do that? They seem to be prepared to do anything to keep their power. Even murder.”
“I will return and force my father to abdicate immediately. He is sitting on the throne, but it is Linnea and Linnus who are running the show. I told my father I was prepared to keep them in Avanti with a generous allowance, but that was before they tried to blow you up in the plane. I will cut this snake off at the head. I intend to imprison Linnea for treason whether my father likes it or not. He is welcome to remain in the palace and tend to his garden. His life need not change, but I will rule Avanti. It is my duty to my people that their rights are safe-guarded.”
“I’ll be next to you no matter what,” she says softly.
“I’m a better man for having met you, Rosa.”
She smiles.
“You don’t know what a mess I was yesterday. You just can’t even begin to imagine.”
She bites her bottom lip. “I’m really sorry, you thought I was dead. It must have been awful for you. I can’t even beg
in to imagine what I would have felt if I had thought you were dead. I tried desperately to contact you, but you switched off your phone. Then we saw the news of the crash on TV, and I knew it was not an accident, but I couldn’t get through to anyone. Of course, I knew not to speak to your family. Finally, I got to speak to Matilda and she told me what had happened. I tried to think what you might have done. So Star got me here in one of her husband’s private planes. I went to your hotel, but you had not been there so I came here. I wasn’t sure, but I hoped and prayed you would be here.”
“It was horrible without you, Rosa. Indescribable. The pain. I thought I was dying. I didn’t know how to carry on.”
“I’m here now.”
“My head is banging, but the only thing I want to do is just fuck you.”
“Nope. You are going to take some headache tablets and go back to sleep. When you get up I’ll blow you, okay?”
“I’m almost afraid to sleep.”
“I promise you we’ll be here when you wake up.”
“Will you please marry me quickly, Rosa? I love you so much I don’t ever want to be without you.”
Tears appear in her beautiful eyes. “I love you, baby. I can’t even tell you how much. And yes, a thousand times, yes. I’ll marry you. As soon as you wish.”
Epilogue
Rosa
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BT4GIljqr-A
(Can’t take my eyes off you)
Even though Dante said that he wanted to get married straight away, a royal wedding is an elaborate and grand thing that requires major planning. We have to hire not one wedding planner, but a whole team, and it takes an entire year to plan it. Also, I wanted to lose some weight after the baby was born before I squeezed into my dream wedding dress. The general consensus was I should wear a merengue dress, but I told them where to stick that idea. I always wanted to be a mermaid and this was my opportunity. I went all out, fish tail and all.
The Heir: A Contemporary Royal Romance Page 19