by JP Vasha
Next was me finding out about being a Necromancer, which was the sole reason why my current situation with Khloe was even possible. Attached to that tidbit was an appendix, including everything Dory Masterson told me, about the condition of me being brought back to life, that my very existence was practically erased because the universe decided it was a fitting punishment. Then there was the fact a Deity forced Dory to find and kill, the same Deity who'd told me not to go to Logia, because if I did, he would personally find me and make sure I was killed again. And this time, I knew, if he did kill me, I wouldn't be able to be brought back to life.
Another appendix appeared, the one when Snow told me that Kimberly had blocked Michelangelo's visit out of my memories, probably out of worry that it would turn me paranoid. I didn't even notice how deeply that act affected me, and while I still considered Kim a friend, one who helped me unconditionally and so much more, that was something I couldn't stand up for. I didn't need to be sheltered away from the simple facts of life. And that Kimberly tried to do that... It left a layer almost of itself in the pile.
Then there was Khloe, and her entire situation with Mike and her own troubles. I'd almost forgotten until she told me, but her soul and her wolf's spirit were divided, creating an anathema of its own. We weren't able to shift into the wolf, neither me nor Khloe, no matter who was in charge of Khloe's body, and so the wolf, who'd previously made some noises or even stirred in the back of our mind, was now hiding in the corner, barely present, almost faint. And it was dying out of pure suffocation, and there was nothing we could do about it unless we managed to shift. That ominous info made me file it into the talk-about-it-with-the-wolves folder. But it still remained another layer, another trouble, another problem.
If that wasn't enough, a thin but heavy layer was that of Mike telling me I was an invader in Khloe's body, that I was a parasite, and that his most instinctive mating instincts deemed me a danger to Khloe, his mate, and nudged him towards violence whereas I was concerned. Mike was being civilized to me, even friendly, while fighting with his own urges, his own wolf, demanding me to be out of the picture completely so his mate would have her own body. That layer was thin because it didn't concern me as much as it supposed to be, but it was heavy, because I felt it was my fault he had to struggle constantly with his need to strangle the life out of me.
And now were in Logia, the ancient land that had been on Earth once upon a time. Tonight, we were going to meet with an acquaintance of Ambery – the same Cleromancer Zack said he or she had told the Deity to arrive early to Earth – and we were going to finally try and find a lead as to the whereabouts of my body, the same one Dory had simply thrown through the portal three years ago.
Just as that thought crossed my mind, there was a knock on the door. I refused to get out of bed, rolling onto my side with my back to the door, when the door cracked open. "Carla?" Zack's soft voice made me turn rigid, "You awake?"
I didn't want visitors. I didn't want talk. So I forced myself to relax and pretend I was asleep. I even feigned soft snores. Could werewolves tell you weren't truly sleeping?
The door closed and I almost heaved a sigh of relief at being left alone when soft footsteps padded closer. When the mattress was bent a little with an extra weight, I forced myself not to turn all tensed up again.
His hand was suddenly pushing a few stray hairs from my face. "You're beautiful, Carla," he said softly, almost sadly, "it's such a shame you don't see yourself that way."
Not knowing if he knew I was awake or not, I kept out with my pretense, even though I wanted to tell him that it was Khloe who was beautiful, to remind him it was her body he was touching. But he already knew all that. So why calling me beautiful when, in my case, it was just a cruel insult?
As though he was reading my mind, he said, "I'm not even talking about Khloe's body. I'm talking only about you." His warm hands were cradling my head now, caressing my skin and causing me to stifle a wave of shivers. "Your soul is so radiant, so much filled with honest kindness and warmth, that I'm in no doubt that whatever body you have, you'll still be beautiful."
I wanted so much to respond, but I didn't. Zack was in a rare form of honesty, and I didn't want to interrupt his audible musings.
He sighed, and I felt his lips on my forehead, causing my skin to turn hypersensitive. His lips were soft on my skin, calming, bringing me a false feeling of safety. "You don't want to talk," he whispered, and this time I tensed, because he did know I was awake, "and you don't have to. I know that doing anything with you as you are now, even kissing you again, would be like pissing in both Mike and Khloe's faces, and would make you believe I was only attracted to you because of Khloe's body. I don't want any of that. So let me just be with you."
Almost opening my eyes and telling him that having him cuddle with me was just the same as kissing or touching or anything else, I felt him suddenly shifting, and then a big, furry wolf curved itself around my back, way more warm than a blanket, and way more comfortable than anything else.
With Zack engulfing me in an air of pure protective possessiveness, I gave in and cuddled him close, hugging his furry body to me, leaning my head against his neck, and let myself be wrapped in him.
And just like that, I fell asleep safe and sound, my pile of problems shoved into the back of my mind, to a place where I couldn't reach it again for the time being.
That night we checked out of the inn and set off to catch a carriage that would bring us to Barolia Harbor. Apparently ships had already been invented, but they were moved by pure magic. Even the carriages and horses, according to Ambery, were enchanted to be as fast as your average car. Magic did replace technology in this world.
Before we left the inn that evening, the innkeeper's daughter, the one who'd been a giggling, blushing bubble all over the guys while Ambery had gone to check us in, came to say goodbye. She then surprised us all by going to Mike, plastering on a hopeful smile and saying, "If you're ever in need for a bride, y-y-y-you can always come back. I-I-I will be waiting!"
Khloe kind of murmured darkly in my head something about beheading and killing that bitch but thankfully, Mike simply hastily told her he was sorry, that he wasn't interested, and we got out of there so fast, people must've thought our asses were on fire.
The coach we were on was stuffy, but not uncomfortably so. As per usual, Mike and Zack sandwiched me in between them, while Shell and Ambery sat in front of us. Ambery was talking in a soft voice to Shell, who seemed to be listening broodily. Zack, who hadn't said much since we slept together, was resting his head against the coach's window while Mike gazed at Ambery with open dislike and suspicion. It didn't take a genius to realize Mike wasn't thinking much of the white-haired Deity ever since meeting him.
All in all, the ride in the carriage was quiet. And it was over after just one hour, thankfully.
Barolia Harbor was probably the most beautiful port city I'd ever seen. Greenery covered everything, beds of exotic, unfamiliar flowers were spread all over the place, clashing with beautiful bushes and tall, enigmatically shaped trees. Houses here looked almost the same as in Oscana, but here they were bigger, obviously belonging to people of much more wealth than the average Barolian in Oscana.
The harbor itself wasn't like harbors on Earth. The deck was made of some wood that reminded me of mahogany, the ship were big yet covered in vines and flowers, for whatever reason, and the port workers worked with such an easygoing environment I almost envied them.
Ambery led us to one of the vines-covered ships called Lacey. "This is mine," the Deity said with a creepy smile. "You can guess why I named it like that."
I found myself exchanging glances with both Mike and Zack. Ambery might be Kim's brother, but his personality was far stranger, and his absurd obsession with that Lacey was bordering on sinister.
Eventually we all got over the side comment and embarked the ship Ambery's crew began doing some magic juju on I didn't bother getting into. I had enough magic problems as i
t was; I didn't need to learn about more.
The ship roared to life and we began sailing across the sea and away from Barolia Harbor. Once we were in the middle of the Eastern Logia Seas, as Ambery referred to it, I leaned against the ship's railing and looked out into the moonlit and starlit waters, closing my eyes and enjoying the cool breeze. While my dress wasn't warm, the cloak definitely preserved heat.
Just as I was beginning to relax – my whole reason for being there in the first place – I felt someone leaning next to me. "Can you make Khloe come out, Carla?" Mike asked without preambles.
I peered at him with a glance. "She's sulking," I informed him, "so I doubt she'll agree."
Mike's jaw was locked. "Please try."
The guilt from before, about forcing Mike, an innocent werewolf, into this position of having to ask permission of his mate's parasite soul to get back, made me nod silently and reach out for Khloe's presence. Mike wants to talk to you.
She responded quietly. I know. I heard.
So why not take over and talk to him?
Because, she said, voice almost inaudible in my head, if I talk to him, I'll end up telling him about my wolf, and I'm not ready for him to know that yet.
I knew why instantly. While we told them all about Khloe's situation with her wolf, we never got much into it. For Khloe, it was the only thing she felt ashamed about, being a werewolf who was unable to connect with her inborn wolf. For a person who used to be so shameless and careless like Khloe Daniels, having something to feel shameful for was despicable, hindering, and weakening. So while Mike was her mate, the one she should feel closest to, she couldn't bring herself to talk about it just yet.
Blocking my sympathy so she wouldn't get angry about me pitying her, I said, I think you should at least give him some attention, at last. After your refusal to speak back in Amarillo, I think he needs it.
She gave an uncharacteristic sigh. Fine.
We exchanged places and I was back into the darkness. Khloe was now looking at Mike, who seemed beyond relieved to see she was back. But before he could say something, she said, "I don't want to talk, but since you do, I'm willing to listen."
A flash of annoyance made Mike's eyes grow electric-blue, but then they returned to normal when his eyes locked on Khloe's. "I just want to talk to you," he said almost gently, "I want to get to know you, the real Khloe. I want to know my mate. That's all I've ever wanted."
Khloe's hands curled into fists.
"But it's like you're refusing to acknowledge me," Mike looked away now, gazing at the sea. "What would happen after Carla gets her own body back? Will you still be this way? Will you avoid me? Will you... reject me?" he winced. "I can't help thinking about it all the time, and yet the few times I can actually talk to you, you either refuse to talk or act like a brat."
He gave her a terse smile. "That's all I wanted to know. You can go back to wherever and Carla can take control again. I don't care. I said what I wanted to say."
Instead of doing that like I almost expected her to, Khloe stepped towards him, grabbed his face in her hands, and planted her lips on his. I closed my mental eyes and gave them privacy. I did feel the intensity of their kiss, however, the almost tint of desperation. It felt like Khloe was giving her all to him in that instant, for whatever reason, and when I felt her back hit a wall, I opened my eyes with a start, and realized what was going to happen.
They didn't even bother to take their clothes off.
A flash of pain bolted through me, pain that wasn't Khloe's but completely mine. I shut my psychic eyes again tautly, forced myself not to listen, and hoped neither of them heard my mental heart splintering when I felt their bodies connecting.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I'd blacked out from pain as Mike and Khloe had sex, and when I awoke, I was in charge of the body, Khloe was back in the backseat, Mike was nowhere to be seen, and I was lying naked on the bed in one of the bedroom suits of the ship.
Numbness like nothing I'd felt before spread through my body. I felt hollow, and my heart beat slower than usual, as though it couldn't cope with the idea that someone other than my mate touched this body, penetrated, owned it, whether it was mine or not.
I couldn't even bring myself to be angry at Mike and Khloe. They had every right to screw each other like they did, because honestly, that was their right. This wasn't my body, I didn't have a say in what was done with it, and Khloe, the true owner, was the one in true charge, whether physically or not. Heck, I even made out with Zack in this body, so who was I to judge?
But I hadn't had sex with Zack. Khloe never felt so much as slight irritation at me doing anything physical with him. She never blacked out, never felt such pain, because I would've known, I would've felt it rebounding back on me, causing me guilt to no end.
Khloe was quiet now. She probably didn't feel a thing while encompassed in Mike. She probably didn't feel like she'd done anything wrong, and basically she hadn't. So why the hell did I feel so betrayed?
I should've been used to this kind of things. I should've been used to coping with everything, to accommodate in such a spectacular way that left everyone in either shock or awe at my adaptability. Even people in general, when they acted in a certain way that should've hurt me, I managed to somehow overcome, to react in the way that was mature and confident.
But this had drawn a line for me. And the pile in my head? The pile was about to reach its limit. This layer was too thick for it not to.
Feeling nauseous and empty, I got out of bed, put on the dress and cloak that were rumpled on the floor, slid into the traveling boots, and went out of the room. On the main deck, everyone was gathered, looking like they didn't know nothing. Even Mike seemed to be perfectly okay, not a hair out of place.
Then he sniffed the air, whirled his head towards me, and I saw it. I saw the remorse in his eyes. He wasn't guilty, no, he was just sad that the situation came to this. And while I could relate, and if I'd been like I was just a few hours ago, before Mike and Khloe basically attacked each other, I would've smiled his remorse off and made sure he knew it was fine. That everything was fine.
Nothing was fine now.
"Carla," Zack turned and when I looked at him, I could see his emerald eyes widening. He suddenly scented the air, and in a blaze, his eyes flashed brilliant wolf silver. Before I could utter a word, Zack lunged at Mike and in a split second held by the throat pinned to the deck floor. "You!" He snarled, voice barely human.
Shell and Ambery were immediately there, not yet intervening but watching the scene unfolding before them.
Mike could barely speak with Zack who, while not looking as ripped as he was, was still the Beta of the Biwole, the One True Alpha's right hand, and therefore so much stronger. "L-Let go of me... Grey..."
"You fucked her!" Zack yelled with a growl. "Your scent is all over her! She has a mark of you! You fucked MY MATE!"
"I... didn't..." Mike was choking now, his face turning a sickening Shell of purple. The bulk of his arms were flexing as he tried to rip Zack's hands off him, but Zack was stronger, and he was thinking that Mike had sex with me.
I was the only one who could tell him differently, who could calm him down in this rage mode he was in. But, as I looked at the stars above of the complete night sky, I realized I didn't want to. A dark, twisted, sinister part of me, a part I hadn't been aware of until now, wanted vengeance, wanted Mike to get choked to death after he had sex with Khloe.
Logic said that basically, they hadn't done anything wrong, anything that I wouldn't do. Feelings said differently. And my feelings would've won, had I not remembered what Mike was going through, his constant fight with himself over not killing me so he had Khloe all to herself with me as a parasite.
I was a good person. I'd never meant ill to anyone. I wouldn't let some stupid sinister part of myself turn me into a bad person. That just wasn't me, who I wanted to be, who I was.
Taking a deep breath, I walked calmly toward the two wolves and touched
Zack's tensed shoulder. "Zack," I said, my voice flat, "let him go."
His wild, enraged eyes snapped to me. "No."
"Zack," I said again, locking his eyes with mine in a steely grip, "do you really think I would sleep with Mike? With anyone who wasn't you?"
He growled deep in his throat, and I could see the wolf in his eyes. He didn't answer my question.
Not giving up, I closed my hand in his thick, tousled hair and gritted out, "Mike had sex with Khloe. This is Khloe's body. It's their right. We have no say about that matter. That means you need to stop strangling him and listen to me."
Something flashed in his eyes, something civilized. He was hearing me, but he wasn't completely listening to me. Still, that was a progress. I pushed on. "Mike won't do that again until I have my own body. He won't. Right, Mike?"
Mike looked like he wanted to do anything but answer me at that moment. Still, when I tore my eyes away from Zack's and gave him a hard, pointed gaze, he bit out through choked throat, "I promise."
Zack was still not fully convinced, because he still had his hand secured around his neck. I sighed, and then I cupped his head in my hands and kissed him briefly. "Let him go Zack," I whispered against his lips, "because if you don't, I will get really mad with you, and I will not forgive you."
That finally did the trick. In an agonized growl, Zack ripped himself free from Mike and rose to his feet, eyes returning to normal. "Fuck you, Fox," he spat at Mike, who was struggling to catch his breath. "We agreed no one fucks her body, no matter who's in control, and you pissed on this promise. I can't fucking believe you."
Shell crouched next to Mike and for my astonishment he smacked him across the face, making him curl on the ground with red neck and red cheek. Apparently, that wasn't enough for the Gamma. He dragged Mike through his hair and made sure he was looking him in the eye before he said in a low, threatening voice that made my stomach crawl in danger, "One don't break a promise between werewolves, especially when it comes to mates. If Zack had killed you, it would've been his right, and you wouldn't have gotten any sympathy, least of all out of me. You screw Khloe again, I'll personally deliver the killing blow. Understood?"