‘And when were you going to tell me about your plan? I don’t believe this . . . Don’t you think I had a right to know . . .’ she protested fearfully, her temper rising.
‘Sabrina, hush. There is a police officer in the house and the Chateau is being watched by them. Security is tight, I can assure you. I am sorry I have to put you through this, my love, but it is the only way I can protect you from this monster. Now listen to me, I want you by my side all of the time and on this I expect to be obeyed without question. Do you understand me?’ he fiercely demanded.
Sabrina stared unable to find the words to retaliate. Fear had overtaken her temper. Knowing the man was here in the house terrified her to the core. His disturbing presence made her feel vulnerable, helpless. She hated admitting it but she didn’t want Raoul to leave her side despite her angry feminist indignation. Her need for protection from Raoul won the battle out right. Ashamed of her fear she found herself nodding obediently in agreement.
‘He says he is going to take me back,’ she continued, ‘I remember what he did to me the night I disappeared, Raoul. I remember what he did. He raped me in the study, then he dragged me out of the house and pushed me in the boot. I’m sure there was somebody else with him in the car. He took me somewhere miles from here. I think it was to a house somewhere in the country. He kept me locked up in the cellar. It was so cold and dark. My food would come through a hole in the door. Sometimes I spent days sitting there in the dark, then he would come back and force me to . . . It feels as though it was just yesterday and not seven years ago. I don’t want to remember, I don’t want to remember.’
She stopped. Raoul’s face wore a mixture of horror and anger. He stopped rubbing her arms and stared. He was hanging on every word. It made her shake all the more as she worried how he was taking what she told him.
‘I tried to escape several times, but he kept getting me back. He hit me so much and forced himself on me.’
She began to cry. Raoul pulled her into the safety of his arms and held her tight against him, brushing his fingertips against her cheek to wipe her tears and soothe her fear. She felt him tremble with anger against her as she carried on narrating her story.
‘I eventually escaped. I don’t remember how at the moment, just that I did. I remember running through the fields. I must have planned it well because I somehow had money. I must have stolen it from him. I managed to get myself on a ferry. We were so close to the channel. I don’t know why I just didn’t go to the police. I was so injured. I started bleeding, and I knew I had to go to the hospital when I reached London. I collapsed when I went to hospital reception. I don’t remember any more after that.’
‘He won’t touch you or take you away,’ he told her calmly, deeply, yet she could hear the thunder of fury rumbling under his words. ‘Trust me Sabrina. Trust me as your husband.’ Raoul’s arms tightened protectively around her. ‘This time I won’t let you down. I will be there for you.’
Instinctively, she pressed her face against his chest allowing herself the indulgence of seeking his warmth and protection. Somewhere a part of her had to trust him. Once more confused by her conflicting feelings she listened to him whisper French words of endearment. She felt him stroke the softness of her hair and kiss it. In that brief moment she allowed herself to feel safe, warm and loved.
‘There is someone downstairs who is dying to see you again and can’t wait until dinner. I think it will be good for you to talk to her now,’ Raoul spoke softly, carefully, but he wouldn’t meet her eyes.
He slowly let go of her and rose to his feet. When he did finally look at her, his eyes were cold, distant and swollen with pain. His movement was precise and formal as though he was in the room with a stranger. She looked at him with confusion, feeling empty and abandoned. She bent her head as he picked up the phone to call down stairs. She was embarrassed and hurt. She’d made the mistake of letting her guard down, allowing him a glimpse of her vulnerability.
He came to tower over her as she sat on the bed now unable to meet his eyes for fear of what she might see. Hurriedly she wiped at her eyes. He was keeping the distance she requested earlier that day, the space between them she did not want anymore. He was acting as though she was infected, a leper. The thought slashed across her mind creating a painfully bleeding wound. But the anger that followed gave her the strength to protect herself and slam down the shields. Her eyes dried, and she folded her arms defensively across her chest as she felt him look down at her. He started to speak, but a frantic knock at the door cut his speech short.
‘Amelia.’ He forced a smile. ‘She is so eager to see you, she must have run up those stairs.’
He opened the door to reveal a tall, elegant blonde woman. She was dressed in a black bustier and flared evening trousers slit just past the ankles. Her black and white sandals were high and complemented the white and black patterned motif on the bottoms of the trousers and across the top of the bustier. It was a simple outfit but stunning, showing the woman’s long legs off to perfection. Her chocolate eyes danced with excitement as if she was a small child who had just got her hands in the cookie jar. But she said nothing, her full sensuous peach lips clamped tightly shut as if to prevent any errant words from escaping. She glanced at Raoul with impatience, waiting for his introduction.
‘Sabrina, this is your best friend Amelia Newman.’
Sabrina quickly looked away from him trying to stop her bottom lip from trembling and formed her lips into a shaky smile. It was the last thing she felt like doing. The woman rushed at her throwing her arms around Sabrina’s body.
‘Sabrina, I really can’t believe it’s you. Let me look at you. I don’t believe it, we almost have the same hairstyle.’ Her eyes turned serious. ‘That’s good, I never liked that long bob.’
Raoul shook his head. ‘I’ll leave you to get re-acquainted.’ He caught Amelia’s eye. ‘Take your time to catch up and talk.’
Amelia gave him a gentle nod of understanding. He left without even complementing Sabrina on the dress that he’d bought for her to wear.
Amelia was excited again. ‘Do you remember me, Sabrina?’
Sabrina shook her head. She felt Amelia’s disappointment land on her like a heavy weight threatening to crush her.
‘I’m sorry. I seem to be disappointing a lot of people at the moment.’
She moved away and sat back down on the bed. Amelia flopped down beside her, resting a hand on Sabrina’s shoulder.
‘It will all come back to you. You will of course remember me,’ she giggled. ‘How could you forget.’
‘Were we close?’
‘Close? We were like sisters and still are I hope. I never gave up thinking you were alive and that you would come back one day. I figured it had to be something like losing your memory that prevented you from making your contact. Just like in the movies. It was never your style to walk away from anything.’
‘I know, he told me. Where did we meet?’
‘We met at boarding school in England. My father was the English Ambassador in Paris. We went right through school and University together. This is weird. It’s like I’m filling in the blanks, Sabrina. Anyway, you chose law and became a professional. I on the other hand decided to spend my life loafing around on my father’s money.’
She gave a wicked grin.
‘And I still am. You came to work in Paris and I followed. That’s when you met Raoul. You were suing his company on behalf of a client.’
Sabrina shook her head in disbelief.
‘I still find it hard to believe I was a lawyer.’
‘Hasn’t he told you how you both met?’
‘No, he is very guarded in what he does tell me. It makes me wonder if there are some things he doesn’t wish me to remember.’
Amelia looked uncomfortable, making Sabrina wonder if she knew exactly what she was not to remember.
Maybe Raoul’s affair with Cressida?
‘He wouldn’t do that. He’s just being protective,�
� she didn’t sound so sure.
Amelia smiled trying to mask her concern.
‘Let me tell you how you met Raoul,’ Amelia gushed changing the subject quickly.
‘You arranged a meeting between your client, Raoul and his lawyer over some business dispute. I forget what it was, you know that stuff bores me.’
Sabrina looked at her blankly.
Amelia gave a small nervous laugh and then shook her head.
‘No, I suppose you don’t know . . .’
She smoothed her palms down the tops of her trousers. Nervous habit. Sabrina smiled reassuringly and asked her to continue, more than interested to know how Raoul supposedly fell in love with her and more so, how she could have fallen for such a gorgeous but domineering man.
‘No one envied you taking him on. The most feared and revered predator of the business world was not an opponent to be taking lightly, and you were just a new lawyer trying to make your mark on the world. He could have destroyed you. But you said he was only a man.’
Sabrina gave a small laugh.
‘Yes, that sounds just like what I would have said.’
Amelia shook her head and smiled. ‘Yes, that is you all right. Always walking where, angels fear to tread.’ She slipped her hand into her pocket and took out a silver cigarette case and a lighter before continuing.
‘I was worried. When I told my father about it, he shook his head. He thought you should just get your client to settle for the offer Raoul had already made for an out of court settlement. It was well known that if you made an enemy of Raoul, you would be made to regret it.’
Amelia stood up opening the case and took out a cigarette. She tapped it on top of the case.
‘I know you hate me smoking, but I didn’t expect to be so nervous around you. Do you mind if . . .’
She gestured at the French doors that led out to a wide balcony. Sabrina nodded and stood up to follow her. Amelia opened the doors on to the cold air.
‘It’s bloody freezing. Look at the snow. Doesn’t the place look picturesque?’ she said lighting her cigarette and giving a shiver.
‘Yes it does.’ Sabrina felt impatience to know what happened, gnaw at her. The woman loved to take her time telling a story. ‘Here let me get you something to wear or you will freeze to death.’
Sabrina rummaged around in one of the drawers and eventually found where Francine had put her cardigan all neatly folded up. She draped it around her friend’s shoulders then reached for the bed throw to cover her own shoulders as Amelia nodded thanks, ‘You always did look after me.’
‘So are you going to carry on and tell me what I did,’ Sabrina asked with a smile.
Amelia took a puff of her cigarette. She sighed with relief then grinned widely.
‘You marched full steam ahead into his lawyer’s office and negotiated. Boy did you put him in his place. No one has ever done that. You are famous for it. You got everything you wanted for your client. And for Raoul it was love at first sight. He was so impressed he asked you out to dinner, and the rest is history. You are the only one who has ever really stood up to him, and he loves you for it. That’s why he had to marry you.’
‘Really?’ Sabrina chuckled. ‘He is quite a formidable character and he certainly likes to have his own way. He won’t even let me leave this house. I am not sure why I married him. He’s caring but very bossy. He likes to be in control of everything, including me. It seems out of character for me to fall for a man like him.’
Amelia stared at her in amazement.
‘Can you blame him? He’s never forgiven himself for what happened.’
Amelia looked wistful for a moment.
‘I remember what he was like when you were being stalked.’
She stopped, worried she’d said something wrong and given something away she shouldn’t have.
‘It’s all right, I remember, and I made Raoul fill me in,’ Sabrina informed her, sheltering in the doorway.
‘Well, Raoul was fiercely protective. He collected you from work every night. He bullied the police into finding out who it was and hired people to double the security on the Chateau.’
She began to laugh.
‘A couple of us were here for the weekend when you had a row with him about it. You told him you felt suffocated and you could damn well look after yourself,’ she said accurately imitating how Sabrina would have told him.
‘You nearly hit him when he said he wasn’t so sure. He was so angry with you for trying to deal with this man on your own. You tried to leave in disgust and go back to Paris to stay with me. He made you get out of the car and carried you back into the house when you refused to go back in. He even had the gall to threaten to lock you in one of the tower rooms until you came to your senses. Boy did you make him pay for saying that. He was lucky he ever got sex again,’ she laughed.
Sabrina widened her eyes with amusement and surprise when the scene came to rest unexpectedly and vividly in her mind. She’d been so angry and embarrassed she hadn’t spoken to him for days. But it had ended like all of their arguments, in bed. She took a breath fondly remembering the way he made love to her to settle their arguments, usually in his favour. His touch was a little rough, demanding, his hold on her naked body strong and unforgiving. He wouldn’t wait long to be inside her and within moments his deep penetrating thrusts would have her riding to ecstasy almost at his command. Then he would make love to her more slowly, gentling his caress, deepening his kiss possessively as he took her once more until she whimpered her surrender against his lips.
Amelia was staring into space looking wistful again as Sabrina contemplated the paradoxical nature of her character and marriage with Raoul. Her thoughts were broken when Sabrina got a fleeting memory of Amelia looking the same way at a boy in the village not far from their school. She widened her mouth into a sensuous coy smile as he looked in her direction making him trip over his laces, unable to tear his eyes away. Only she remembered there was nothing coy about Amelia, quite the opposite where men were concerned.
‘You took offense at Raoul’s caveman attitude. Well at least on the outside, but I think you secretly liked it. I thought Raoul was being devastatingly sexy, the way he was protecting his woman. If you ever leave him and you don’t want him back, you can always pass him on to me,’ she grinned and laughed but the glint in her eye told Sabrina she meant it.
Sabrina sighed inwardly. Amelia was yet another woman to be on her guard about and her best friend to boot. She decided to ignore Amelia’s comment.
‘Yes, he is a bit of a caveman,’ Sabrina said, frowning with disapproval.
‘Don’t look at me like that. You act all strong and independent and that’s good. But you have to acknowledge that a part of you loves him to take care of you. You can’t possibly deny it,’ she told Sabrina matter of a fact. ‘I know you too well, Sabrina. I think you act the way you do because you are afraid of letting your guard down and trusting anyone. Perhaps you believe that if you show your vulnerability to him, he will leave you. Maybe you are afraid of being abandoned and hurt like you were when your parents died. Whatever it is, Sabrina, I know you fell in love with Raoul because he saw past your defences and he gives you exactly what you need. And that is why you love him.’
‘You knew the old Sabrina. Now I am very different,’ Sabrina said defensively trying to ignore the guilty twist in her stomach that told her Amelia had her assumption dead line centre. ‘I won’t be held here like a prisoner.’
‘He only wants to do the right thing, Sabrina. He shut down when you disappeared. He locked himself away in this fortress, the only place he felt close to you. The police blamed him at first and so did others. I still can’t believe they actually thought he had murdered you. It took a lot for him to pull himself through it all.’
Sabrina felt it then. Her already deep affection and attraction to Raoul was taking on new strength and knocking down her defences. The realisation made contact with her soul with the force of a punch, making h
er cry unexpectedly for what he’d been through at her expense.
‘Sabrina, what’s wrong? What did I do?’
Amelia’s arms were suddenly around her, desperately trying not to burn her with the cigarette.
‘I don’t know. I just keep getting memories of feelings, thoughts, images, everything. I try to hold on to them, some of them stay but the others vanish. I feel so empty when they go. I remember Raoul and what he meant to me and how much I love him. Then it goes and he’s like a stranger again. I can’t believe I could forget my own husband.’
‘Sabrina, I feel so helpless. I don’t know what to do for you.’
‘I can’t believe I am telling you all of this. I just feel as though I could tell you anything in the world, yet I don’t know who you are.’
‘I am your best friend even if you don’t remember I am.’
Sabrina nodded.
Sleeping Love Page 10