by Lena North
When I had a good fire going, I went over to the side to put the skewer back in its place. We weren't supposed to use it, but the pokers were made of solid iron, and they got hot all the way up to the handle so sometimes you burned your hands. The skewer had two tips and also a long wooden handle so it was much better to use. I leaned it carefully against the wall because I remembered how it had been hidden in the rushes, and accidentally cut one of the women's foot.
Then I noticed some marks on the handle and, worried that I'd somehow put them there, I picked it up again to examine it. The marks were not new, so I sighed with relief but then I frowned. On one side of the handle there were long dark patches of something, but on the other side, there was nothing. I turned it around a few times, but I couldn't figure it out. Then I took it back to the fire and looked again.
"What are you doing Sissa?" one of the older thralls asked curiously.
"There's something on the wood, look," I said and held it out.
The women gathered around the skewer, and we turned it around. Suggestions were tossed out, and we were suddenly laughing about it all. Mostly about how mad Freyja would be when she found out.
"Stains that dark can only be blood," one of the women said then, nodding knowingly.
"Oh, no! Don't talk like that," the woman with the injured foot exclaimed in a loud wail. "I'll be blamed, but I didn't bleed very much, and it didn't touch my blood anyway."
I looked at the skewer, and it seemed indeed as if it had lain for a while in whatever stained it.
"Huh," I said. "I heard someone say that it had been gone?"
"Yes, I missed it for days, and then it was suddenly there, but I don't know how it could have remained hidden in the rushes when we change them all the time," a woman said calmly.
"Can you all ask around and see if someone found it somewhere? When Freyja finds the stains we'd better know what to say," I said. "And how to cover up," I added, and they all snickered.
"I think one of the men brought it in," a woman murmured. "I don't remember who it was, but it could have been Ulf? It was one of the thralls anyway, and I think he put it by the door. It must have slipped into the rushes as we hauled them in and out," she concluded.
"Perfect," I said. "Just what I need, for my brother to have messed up Freyja's skewer somehow."
"Better your brother than anyone else's," someone called out with a snicker, and I turned with my brows raised.
"Oh, Sissa, don't act coy. We all know that Freyja can't get to you. She'll have to walk through both Josteinn and Einarr to do that, with Joss taking you riding and Einarr getting you new shoes."
They continued to joke about me, but it quickly spread into jokes about the others and their men. After a while, I joined their laughter, but it was all pretense on my side.
I thought Josteinn had gone through the trouble of getting me my new shoes, but all he'd done was to go home and ask his father.
Chapter Nineteen
The question
I met Einarr late the next day. We walked out to the clearing and sat there in silence a while. Then he sighed.
"I don't even know where to begin," he said.
"I can start," I said calmly.
I'd thought the whole night before and decided to just lay everything I knew out as clearly as possible. I'd not told him about Stein because it had felt like betraying Catriona but I knew that I'd have to find a good way to share that as well. I wanted this whole mess to be solved, and then I would stay away from Einarr, and his son.
"I'll tell you who I think could have done it, Einarr, and you will not like all the names. Please know that this does not mean that I think any or all of them did it. It just means that they could have. Then I'll leave it up to you to decide what to do next."
I thought that he had the eyes of a wolf again, but I gathered up courage and held his gaze until he nodded.
"There are a few things I've not had the chance to tell you, so I will start with that," I said.
"You know we suspect that Disa was poisoned. What you don't know is that I think that someone put Henbane in Heidrun's midday meal as well. She was stumbling and staggering on her way to the altar, and it would have made it easier to tie her up. To my mind, that's too much poisoning to be a coincidence."
He made a sound, but I raised a hand to stop him from interrupting.
"This means that we're looking for someone who is strong enough to lift off that beam to her shed, tall enough to pull the hood from Heidrun as she was hanging in the grove, but also knowledgeable about herbs and plants and their usage."
He made another sound, but I kept talking, gazing out over the bleak landscape in front of us.
"It has to be a man because the women are too short and not strong enough. The ones who would fit are you, Stein and maybe Josteinn. A few of the warriors, that older man who helps the blacksmith and Jarl Ingolf would also be tall enough but I can't find that they know about herbs, and I can't figure out why they'd want Heidrun killed, or me saved.
"Another possibility is for two persons to have worked together. If that's the case then there are others who could have been involved, but not many. Mother has asked around, and several of the women in the village knows a little about healing, but she doubts they would know how to use Henbane. I think that to add my Mother and Astrid to the list makes sense, but they would have to have done it with one of the men."
I made a pause to gauge his mood. I could see that he had started to understand so I pulled in air and then I spoke.
"Yourself or Josteinn and perhaps together with Astrid, or with Mother. Stein all on his own or perhaps him or one of your closest men together with Astrid or Mother... I've twisted and turned it all around, and I can't find any others to suspect," I said. "I am also absolutely convinced it isn't Mother. I'm sorry," I added.
Then I looked down at the melting snow and the mud beneath my feet. He was silent, and I waited until I couldn't take it anymore. Then I raised my head to look at him. He was watching me, and he had a strange look on his face that I couldn't interpret.
"Thank you for the shoes," I whispered.
I knew well that if he was the one behind Heidrun's death, or if it was his wife or son, then he wouldn't let me go back to the village again. I wanted to have told him I knew about my shoes and that I was grateful.
"Don't mention it," he replied. "I found them standing in the storage house. No one seemed to know who they belonged to, so when Joss came home and mentioned that he'd need to talk to Freyja about getting you better shoes I gave them to him."
My heart jumped a little when I realized that Joss had meant to bring my shoes up with Freyja, and I felt certain that if Einarr hadn't had the shoes, then he would have.
"Okay," I whispered.
We stayed silent for a while, and I knew that Einarr was thinking about the things I'd told him. I wondered what he thought about the accusations I'd made.
"Who do you think it is?" he asked finally, and his voice sounded odd.
"I don't know," I replied quickly. "It's strange because it points straight at your family, or at Stein, so I should believe it was one of you. I..." I paused to smile ruefully, "I don't like your wife, Einarr. But I can't see her doing this. Could it be you or Joss? I don't think so. Stein? Perhaps. I don't know him, though he's always seemed an honorable man," I said with a sigh.
"You bring up Stein, but I don't see -"
"I know things, and now you will be mad at me," I interrupted. "My friend Catriona planned for the future, and she thought that if they couldn't get away, then she would be with Stein. She told me she'd be his mistress, but when he came back to find them gone, he broke apart. He said he loved her, that he had plans to bring her to his grandmother, and that she would be free. They'd marry, he said. He was devastated when he heard she died."
"You knew they planned to escape," he said.
"Yes."
"Don't tell me more. If I don't know then I don't know," he said immediately, and I started laughi
ng.
"You and your son, Einarr. Josteinn said exactly the same thing," I giggled.
He gave me a long look that ended with a sigh.
"It would fit nicely if it were Stein, but I've known him for many years. He wouldn't have done it like this. He would have gone to Ingolf, taken his beating, paid the price and then moved away."
"But -"
"I know, Sissa," he interrupted. "That leaves my wife, my son... and me."
"There's one more thing," I said quietly. "Did you talk to your brother about why he decided specifically on me for the sacrifice?"
"Sissa, no, I haven't. But you don't have to worry, we'll not let you go through that again and -"
"Einarr," I interrupted. "It is not for myself I ask. But... if this wasn't the gods' interference, then it must have been planned for some time. We were not told anything until late the day before, but poison would have been gathered already in the summer. It could perhaps have been stolen from Mother or Astrid if they even have it, but the hood had to be made too. It just seems to me that it couldn't have been a sudden whim?"
"In the name of Odin, you are right," he ground out. "I've not thought about it like that but of course, by the gods, you are right."
"If this was planned, and it was about Heidrun's death then you need to talk to Jarl Ingolf," I said.
"Yes," he said and then he grinned at me although it wasn't a nice smile. "Do you realize that you just told things that could get you killed, to the main suspect?"
"To one of them, at least," I whispered.
"No, Sissa. Neither my wife nor my son has it in them to do something like this, but I do. I most assuredly didn't and you probably know that since you sit there and tell me all these things so calmly, but you should know that I'm not a good man, and I have it in me to kill."
I kept my gaze on the ground and didn't reply, mostly because I didn't know what to say. His hand was suddenly under my chin, and softly he pulled my head up to face him. We sat next to each other, and I could see that he had green flecks in his blue eyes. Joss doesn't have that, I thought.
"Sissa -"
"Father," Josteinn growled and came toward us in long angry strides. "What are you doing?"
I jolted and almost fell off the log we sat on. Einarr grabbed my arm to steady me, but Josteinn pushed him away.
"Let her go," he barked.
I'd never heard him sound so angry. I knew that it must have looked strange with Einarr and me sitting so close but it had all been innocent. Einarr wouldn't want anything to do with a young girl like me.
We were on our feet then, and I watched the two men facing off against each other. Einarr took a small step forward, but Josteinn straightened his back and didn't move. Then Einarr smiled and shrugged.
"Son, sometimes you surprise me," he said. "You know what to do, but fair warning... if you don't then someone else will."
Then he turned to me, suddenly grinning. I was gawking at him, not understanding what he was talking about.
"I will go and talk to my brother, Sissa, and I hope that it'll help us to solve this. You should stay here with my son for a while, and listen to what he has to say but I advise you to do what you always do," he said with a weird smile.
Then he walked away, and over his shoulder he tossed, "Use your head, Sissa."
I watched Einarr go with my mouth open until Josteinn cleared his throat.
"My father..." he started, squirmed a little and continued, "Well, he has a way with women, and he likes them. A lot, Sissa," he finished.
I thought about that, and I knew what he was saying. Had Einarr... flirted with me somehow? I didn't think so, and I was quite sure I never wanted him to. I thought about how I'd seen him with the seer and how Astrid had looked when she stormed through the forest, and I shuddered. I'd never thought about Einarr like that, and I knew that I'd never willingly accept any kind of offer from him if he gave me one. To be a thrall and live with the knowledge that you could be sold at any time was bad enough. Being mistress to someone like Einarr, facing the humiliation of sharing him with many others would not work well for me.
"I know, Josteinn," I said calmly. "But it was all very innocent, you know. We were discussing Heidrun's death and the different suspects. You are one of them, and he was just comforting me."
This wasn't entirely true, but it was close enough to the truth for me to sound honest and apparently for him to believe me because he exhaled. Then he made a motion toward the log.
"Can we sit down?"
"Oh, Joss... Not there, please. Can we walk down to the beach?" I asked. I couldn't take one more conversation in this clearing. Suddenly, I wanted the fresh air from the ocean on my face.
"Absolutely," he said, took my hand to pull me along down the path toward the beach.
We walked along the waterline in silence for a while but then he stopped.
"You know what I will ask you, right?" he asked.
"Yes, Josteinn," I answered.
We continued walking, and it felt strange. My future was at stake, my whole life. If I told Joss I wanted him to pay Jarl Ingolf my fee, I'd immediately become his mistress, and move into his father's house. Before long I'd probably have his children. Hopefully, he'd keep me but maybe he wouldn't. And there we were, walking along the beach just as we'd done several times before. I thought about how he'd kissed me, and how nice it had felt. He'd made me feel safe and protected. Maybe I'd wanted it to be a little bit more exciting, but we'd been in the cold forest, and perhaps it would be different another time.
Then I suddenly remembered how I'd seen his father with the seer, and I didn't have any desire for Einarr... but I wanted Josteinn to be a little bit more like his father. In a weird way, I wanted him to be a bit less gentle and kind.
My mother's words from several weeks earlier came to me. She'd told me that Josteinn wouldn't stand by me, that I wouldn't be able to count on him. I thought about that as we walked and in a way she'd been right. He helped me when Torbi and the girls escaped, but if Jarl Ingolf or his father had found out, would he had stood by me then? Both Freyja and Astrid had scolded me publicly, and he'd not even tried to support me when they did. I realized that I was happy with him when we were alone, but we were rarely together with others, and when we were, he treated me differently.
When we were alone, he acted as if I mattered, almost as if I was free, but in public, he always treated me as a thrall. And I was a thrall, so why wouldn't he? Did I really expect him to disregard this fact?
"What do you think?" he asked quietly.
I stopped and faced him.
"What would my life be like, Joss?" I asked just as quietly.
"How do you mean? You would live with us, of course. You wouldn't have to be around Freyja anymore. You help Gudrun, and I'm sure my mother would appreciate the same help. We have other thralls so you wouldn't do the heavy chores anymore."
I wanted to scream at him. This was my whole life we decided upon and he stood there talking about how I wouldn't carry firewood and grind barley anymore. Why didn't he say that he wanted me? That he couldn't imagine living without me? That he loved me?
It all seemed like a simple transaction to him, like he discussed buying another pig or a goat.
"Can I have time to think Joss?" I heard myself ask. "I know that what you're offering is a huge honor and I'm grateful, but I need to be sure. It is a big step."
I could almost not believe what I just said when I'd wanted this, and Joss, for most of my life. Somehow I just couldn't make my mouth say that one simple word that would give me a life with him. He sighed deeply and raised a hand to push his hair out of his eyes. Then he smiled tenderly, and I felt my mouth smile back at him.
"Did my father have anything to do with your confusion?" he asked gently.
"What? No, Joss, absolutely not," I protested. "I don't even think he wants to..." I trailed off because I had no idea what to say. Then I frowned and continued, "He doesn't, does he?"
"Oh,
Sissa," he chuckled. "I don't know but he might, and I can't believe you didn't know that."
"What? But he's old!" I exclaimed, gawking at him. Was he serious?
He started laughing then, and I watched as he leaned his head back, shouting with glee.
"It will please me much to tell father about this moment," he said when he'd calmed down.
"What?"
"You can have time, Sissa. But my father likes women, and I don't know for sure, but I think that he might have his eyes on you. It'll pass, it always does, but I can't risk that he suddenly gives Uncle Ingolf the money for you so I have to tell him something. I think that I'll share with him exactly what happened here, and that'll cool him off," he smirked.
"But -"
"Don't worry, Sissa. It will pass. It always does," he repeated with a smile.
"Okay. And you'll give me time?" I asked.
"Yes. We have time, at least until the Thing and that's months away," he replied, and my heart sank.
The Thing. That meant that they would negotiate for a wife for him then, and to bring in a thrall during a betrothal was not considered proper behavior so we'd have to decide before.
"Okay," I whispered. "Thank you," I added.
"You are welcome, Sissa," he said, and I could hear in his voice that he was laughing at me.
We turned around, strolling back toward our homes, and as we walked, we talked about the village, and everyday things. He had a good grip of what was involved in leading the people and how everything was organized, but he would, of course, since he'd been helping his father for several years already.
"You'll be a good Jarl one day, Joss," I whispered, thinking that it would be good for him to hear it, and for him to know that I'd support him when this happened.
"If that day comes," he replied, sounding strange.
I stopped and looked carefully at him.
"You don't want it?"
"No, not really. And hopefully, I won't have to," he replied calmly.
"But..." I didn't know what to say.
"Mother thinks that Freyja is expecting and if she is then I might be off the hook again. If Jarl Ingolf has another child, he or she would probably do it. Father and I would help Uncle until the child is grown enough, but I wouldn't have to do it," he said, and he sounded content.