by JB Heller
What if sex was the reason behind the demise of all my previous relationships? What if that’s the reason guys never stick around after the first two or three-months? I gave it up too quickly, they got the goods, had a little fun, then ran when things started getting serious.
Zak hasn’t shown any signs of running. Not yet. He says he’s happy to wait, that he doesn’t care about sex as long as we can still fool around. Which we do. A lot. And after the other day…the dry humping in his truck…good lord do I want to yank his pants off and climb on top of him.
But I can’t. My mouth dries at the thought alone, I’m worried it will change things between us. We’re so good together like this, and I don’t want to lose him.
Kallie’s voice pulls me back to the present. “Hello in there, Ellie,” she calls, waving her hand in front of my face.
I slap it away and glare at her. “Jeez, woman, I’m here. What’s your problem?”
She leans back into my overstuffed couch cushions, crossing her arms under her big boobs. “My problem? I’d say you’re the one with the problem. You were just staring off into la-la land and I’m trying to tell you about Abe proposing to me.” She raises her left hand between us and wriggles her fingers in my face again.
My jaw drops and I launch forward snatching her hand up to examine the gorgeous pink rock glinting in the ray of sunshine coming through my sitting room window. “Holy shit, Kal. When did this happen?”
Kallie beams. “Last night, after one of the best, most earth-shattering orgasms of my life,” she sighs wistfully as she stares at the ring.
Jealousy gnaws at me from low in my belly. Don’t get me wrong, I’m ecstatic for my friend. It’s the orgasm that has me internally sulking. Abe and Kalista were made for each other. He dotes on her without being suffocating or over the top—unless it comes to her safety, then he goes a little cray-cray. But it’s kinda sweet.
“It’s gorgeous, I’m crazy happy for you,” I gush, and wrap my arms around her shoulders, pulling her into a boob squishing hug.
My throat feels thick, guilt stabs me in the chest as I hold her, my best friend. The fact I’m anything less than one hundred and ten percent happy for her is so wrong. She deserves this. I swallow hard, trying to regain my composure, but it’s too late, she’s noticed.
She wraps her hands around my shoulders and pushes me back to examine my face. I’m sure she sees the unshed tears that are making my vision blur.
With narrowed eyes she urges, “Ellie, what’s going on?”
Instead of being pissed with me for raining on her parade, she’s concerned. And the knife twists inside me, a single tear escaping. “I’m jealous,” I confess, my face crumpling as the words leave my lips.
Her brows furrow. “Of what? I thought things were going great with you and Zak? Abe said he’s never seen Zak this way with anyone before.”
My heart thumps a little harder. Zak’s told me as much himself, but for Abe to have noticed makes it that much more real. Licking my lips, I glance down to my purple coloured toe nails as I prepare to tell her my truth and my fears. “I’m jealous…” my head hangs lower, “I’m jealous of the ‘amazing orgasm’ part.”
Kallie bursts out laughing. Deep belly laughter that has her shaking with it.
I glance at her from the corner of my eye and she’s bent in half, her arms wrapped around her body as she struggles to breathe. My brows dip as I frown at her. “What’s so funny? I just told you I’m jealous of you. You should be telling me off, or slapping me or hell—anything except laughing.”
It takes another minute for her to calm down enough to speak. Quirking a brow, she says, “Seriously? Why would you be jealous? You’ve got Zak, I thought things were good in that department?”
Licking my lips, I shuffle back into the couch until the fluffy cushions partially envelop me. “We haven’t had sex yet, and I’m freaking out that if I have sex with him, he’ll dump my ass. I mean, that’s what’s happened with every guy I’ve ever been with.”
I sniffle and chance a glance at Kallie again, she’s tugging on her ear lobe, a sure sign she’s nervous. I narrow my eyes. “Just say it. I’m a big girl, I can handle it.”
Smiling at me softly, she cups her hands together then rests them in her in her lap, fidgeting with her shiny new engagement ring. Clearing her throat, she licks her lips then speaks, “This is just my opinion, so it means nothing, okay?” She makes eye contact with me, waiting until I nod then continues, “Those guys were assholes. You have the worst taste in men I’ve ever seen Ellie. Every one of them was nothing more than a smooth talker, and honey, you were a sucker. But Zak, he’s not like them. I think you already know that.”
Sighing deeply, I nod. “I know. He’s the kindest, sweetest guy I’ve ever met. I mean, his cat only has three legs and half a tail for goodness sake. The man is a saint.”
Kallie’s lips turn up in the corners, “He really is. Plus, he puts up with your stubborn ass.” She bursts out laughing again, but comes to an abrupt stop, “Wait, has he not given you an orgasm yet? I knew you’d said no sex but there are other ways of achieving an orgasm you know. Hell, most women can’t even have one from penetration,” her eyes are wide and full of concern…maybe even horror.
I smirk, “Don’t go getting yourself worked up, he has delivered the big O, and they’ve been great. But there’s something different about an orgasm during sex or foreplay, and an orgasm that leads to a dead end, you know?”
“Ah, I see. So, you two mess around but once he gets you there, it’s time for him to have a cold shower instead of continuing the fun,” she says with a grimace.
I know she feels my pain from that one look. “Yeah,” I shrug, "It’s not like I don’t want to help him out in that department. I do. Like a lot. But he says if I touch his dick it’ll be on like Donkey Kong and I swear I’m not complaining, I just…I’m scared, Kallie. What if I say let’s do it, and he turns around right after and says thanks for the good time, catch ya later?”
My friend’s face scrunches up in disgust. “He wouldn’t do that. Only a manipulative, self-centred asshole would do something like that. For instance, all the men from your previous relationships, if you can even call them men,” she covers her insult in a sugar sweet voice.
I roll my eyes, exasperated with her banging on about my history. “Okay, I get it. I have shitty taste in men. But you get what I’m saying, don’t you?”
Taking my hand in hers, she shimmies closer to me, laying her head on the pale blue cushion beside mine. “I get that you’re scared,” she brushes the hair from my eyes away with care, “Based on your track record, that’s pretty much what you would expect him to do. But Zak isn’t like those buttmunches. He’s a good guy, El, with a beautiful heart, just waiting for you to let him in.”
I swallow hard, past the lump of emotion clogging my throat. “I know. That’s the problem. I think…” I pause as tingles shoot through my limbs, “I love him, Kallie.” I breathe hard, my lips parting at the revelation. I knew I was falling, I have been since we met, but, damn. “I love him. And if he leaves me, it won’t be pretty. I won’t be able to just pick myself back up again this time.”
Smiling softly, she strokes my cheek. “He won’t hurt you, honey. The fact that he’s been patiently waiting this long and hasn’t pressured you to give him more than you’re ready for, proves that.”
“You sure?” I whisper.
“Positive.”
“Will you be there to put me back together if anything goes wrong?” I ask.
Kalista pulls me into her arms, hugging me tight. “You know I will.”
Kalista left an hour ago and I’ve been staring at the screen of my phone for almost as long. Gnawing on the corner of my bottom lip, I try to think of how to smoothly approach the topic with Zak. I don’t want to sound like a sex starved maniac, but that’s how I’m feeling at the minute.
I want to have sex with him. Really, really badly. After the dry humping the other day
it’s all I can think about. How much better would it have been without our clothes on? Salacious images run through my mind of all the ways Zak and I would fit together so perfectly. My heart beats faster and my breathing deepens.
My fingers fly across the screen as I shoot him a text.
~Elllie: Pick me up after work tonight. I have something for you.~
I don’t wait for his reply. He’s with a client today, normally Saturday’s are ours, but some country singer is in town for promotional meetings, and Zak’s on her detail.
Grinning to myself, I get off the couch and make my way to the bathroom so I can shower and start getting ready. Tonight’s the night. I can do this, I want to do this.
I just hope it doesn’t change everything.
ZAK
I open the door of the black sedan and step to the side, allowing my client Chantelle to enter the vehicle. She smiles at me, her fingers gliding over mine on the top of the doorframe as she slides inside. Chantelle lifts her big blue eyes up to stare at me as she waits for me to close the door. I slam it.
She’s been doing it all day, little touches, staring, flirting her ass off. Even if I didn’t have Red, I’d still turn her advances down. She’s pretty, but she’s also conceited, manipulative, and rude. I learnt all that in just one day with the woman.
Climbing into the front passenger side, I fasten my seat belt and turn back to her. “Make sure you’re strapped in, Ms Ranker.”
“Why don’t you sit back here with me, Zak? I’d feel safer with you beside me, we could get to know each other a little better. And please, call me Chantelle.”
I have to stop myself from visibly shuddering. “I’m fine up here thanks, Ms Ranker.” I make a point of looking at her when I call her by last name. “We’ll have you at the airport in…” I glance at my watch, then my phone as I check the traffic on our route. “Thirty minutes.”
She pouts. “Won’t you reconsider coming to work for me? I’d pay you more than you’re making now—double, even! And…” she smiles coyly. At least that’s the look I think she’s going for, but with all the work she’s had done her face can’t form natural curves. “We could spend some quality time together.”
She keeps asking me to join her personal security detail. No matter what I say, she won’t let it go. It’s grating on my nerves. I never bring my personal life to work, but I’m out of excuses. “Thanks, but there’s no way my girlfriend, would be on board with that. So again, thanks for the offer, but I must decline.”
I catch Michael smirking from the driver’s seat, he’s been doing it all day. Every time Chantelle finds another way to proposition me, he’s there, fighting back his laughter. Asshole.
Ignoring Michael, I slide my phone from my pocket as it vibrates with an incoming text. My mouth kicks up in a small smile seeing Ellie’s name on the screen. I slide my thumb across the glass and read her message. Generally, I wouldn’t reply to a personal message while on the job, but I have a minute to myself as we drive Chantelle to the airport.
~Ellie: Pick me up after work tonight. I have something for you.~
~Me: I’ll be there in an hour.~
~Ellie: I’ll be waiting ;)~
Grinning, I slip my phone back into my pocket and focus on the road ahead, keeping an eye on the traffic surrounding the sedan. Two paps trail us, one directly behind, the other on our left. Camera lenses hang out their windows trying to get a shot of Chantelle. But it won’t be happening, the windows are tinted black.
Pulling into the private entrance of the airport, Michael follows my directions to Chantelle’s private plane. He hasn’t been working with me for very long, but I like the guy, when he’s not being an asshole—he’s good people.
“Right here,” I tell him, and he pulls the vehicle to a stop.
We both exit the car and I open Chantelle’s door for her. She takes my offered hand and bats her extra-long—I’m guessing fake—lashes up at me. I avert my gaze, turning to find Michael retrieving her luggage from the trunk.
Who needs luggage for a one-day trip? The woman has changed her outfit three fucking times throughout the day. At each talk show appearance, she had her makeup redone and an outfit change. I shake my head, clearing the thought from my mind. I don’t get chicks like this.
Once Chantelle’s safely situated in her plane, Michael and I return to the sedan leaning against the side as we wait for take-off.
“She wants you bad, man,” Michael chuckles, sliding a cigarette between his lips.
I roll my eyes. “Fuck off,” I mutter, shoving his shoulder and he laughs harder.
“I’m guessing your little leprechaun wouldn’t appreciate how desperately Chantelle wants you on her personal detail,” he stifles another laugh.
“Your funeral if Red hears you call her that,” I warn him. Ellie is feisty. I watched her tell Abe off the first time they met. It was magnificent. She scaled Abe like a tree to reach his throat so her little arms could wrap around it in a headlock because he called her a midget. Hands down, the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. I have to work at holding my own laughter in at the memory.
The sun has set by the time Chantelle’s plane goes wheels up, and Michael and I drive back to the Alpha One Protection compound. Michael parks the company car in the garage and we make our way out to our own vehicles. I tilt my chin to him, “See you Monday,” I call, then slid inside my truck.
It’s time to go see my girl.
Chapter Three
ZAK
Twenty minutes later, I pull up to find Red waiting for me out the front of her apartment building. “Hey there, Red,” I call, bouncing my brows as she approaches my truck. When she gets close enough for me to see her properly, my tongue just about rolls out of my mouth.
Instead of coming around to the passenger side, she sidles up to my rolled down window. “Hey there, stranger,” she coos, pressing against the shiny black door, bringing her breasts into contact with my arm. Her cleavage is non-existent, wrapped in a tight black tube dress that hugs her like a second skin.
Leaning out the window just a fraction, I bring my mouth to her cheek, pressing a soft kiss there. “Fuck, you smell good, Red,” I practically moan. My mouth waters, wanting to taste her.
She reads me like no one else ever has, turning her face until her lips meet mine. But she doesn’t kiss me. I freeze, waiting for her next move. “Red,” I breathe her name, and feel her reaction in the slight quiver of her parted lips.
“I’m ready, Zak,” she whispers back.
My cock responds to her words with enthusiasm, but I straighten away from her. Fuck do I want her so badly it hurts sometimes, but why now? I’m a pretty easy-going guy, but seriously, what the fuck? “I’m sorry, what?” After all this time, out of nowhere she decides she’s ready? “Why?” I question.
“What happened?” I ask, unfastening my seatbelt my fingers curl around the door handle and it swings open before the thought has even fully processed. Ellie stumbles back a step as it opens, but I anticipate it. I reach for her forearm and tug her into me. “What’s going on, Red?” The question comes out as an accusation, but I know something is up.
Her hair swishes over her creamy bare shoulders. “I…nothing,” she stutters.
Ellie never stutters, never minces words.
I narrow my eyes on her. “Don’t do that, Red, out with it. This only works as long as we’re transparent about everything. Including sex,” I raise a questioning brow, waiting for her answer, but she stays silent. Again, not Ellie’s style.
The sheen of unmistakeable tears covers her gorgeous green eyes. Fuck. My hands are on her narrow waist, wrapping tight around her, holding her up as I feel her crumpling before me. “Red…Ellie, baby. What’s going on? Talk to me, just talk to me,” I urge her, bending my head to glide my nose over the apple of her rosy cheek.
She takes a shuddering breath. “I just thought you’d like to know, ya know…we don’t have to wait anymore. I’m over my crazy no sex rule. It was
stupid and had nothing to do with you and me-and-I-was-an-idiot-and-I-just-want-to-make-it-right…” her words string together as they pour from her mouth and the only way I can think to stop her is with my mouth.
Slamming my lips down hard on hers, I force her to open for me. I slide my tongue into her mouth, owning it the way I can’t wait to own her entire body. Turning us, I bring her back into contact with my truck.
I press my pelvis into her, showing her how hard I am, how hard she makes me. Forcing myself to tear my lips from hers, I demand, “Do you feel that, Red? Feel me?”
Her tiny body quivers. “Yes,” she cries, and I swallow it up when I take her mouth again.
It’s dark and the street is almost empty so I push further than I normally would. PDA is not my thing, but there’s no one around. Grabbing her jaw, I press my fingertips in just enough to make it smart. “I haven’t been waiting for you to say the word, I don’t need you to say a damn thing. I know you,” I growl against her ear, nipping the lobe with my teeth. “When you’re ready, I’ll know.”
“But, I—” she tries to interrupt me.
Shaking my head, I press just a little harder and guide her head back until it leans against the truck. “No, no ‘buts’, Ellie.” I let her see the seriousness in my eyes. It’s a side of myself I don’t bring out often, but she needs to know. “I’m not waiting for you to give me your permission. I wait because it’s what you need, and when it’s time, it’ll happen naturally. We don’t need to force this.” I rumble.
Ellie blinks up at me, tears track down the sides of her cheeks, pooling where my fingers press into her soft skin. Her tears are not from fear, she understands. It’s not until she nods that I release my grip and gently caress the red marks I’ve left. I run my lips over each one.