by JB Heller
I can only just make out a few words but it’s enough to make my blood run cold, “Who, Will? I need you to tell me more,” I instruct, using everything in me to keep my head. Covering the speaker, I tell Abe, “Drive faster. Something’s happened at the house.”
Before Will can say anything else, the line goes dead. We’re out of phone service and we’re still twenty fucking minutes away.
My fists opens and closes repeatedly. Why did I leave them? What the fuck is wrong with me? I launch my fist into the dash again. Motherfucker! What was I thinking?
If Paco has hurt my girls, I’m going to kill him. I swear to God, I will kill him.
Abe slows his truck as he nears the front of my house, and I jump out before it’s even fully stopped. Racing to the front door, I throw it open, screeching to a halt at the sight before me.
“What the fuck happened?” I demand, dropping to my knees in the entryway. I need an answer.
Red is out cold, blood spilling from her mouth. Sliding my hand under her head I cradle it in my palm, warm sticky liquid coats my fingers as I pull her into me. My only comfort is that her chest is still moving in and out as she breathes. “I’m so sorry, baby, I should never have left,” I murmur.
“Zak,” Michael calls softly. When I lift my eyes to him he swallows hard, “Kadyn’s gone.”
Bile rises in my throat. Lead settles in my gut. “Go-ne?” I stammer, tears filling my eyes. Twisting my head to the side, away from Ellie, rancid vomit splashes on the tiles.
I fucked it all up, just like I knew I would.
“Will shot him,” Michael says, squatting right beside me, his boot sloshing in my vomit. “Did you hear me, Zak? Will shot him.”
I blink up at him dumbly. “Shot who?”
“Paco, I think. He’s not one hundred percent sure, but he thinks so.”
If Paco’s injured he’s going to be moving slower, maybe he’ll need medical attention. Fuck, I need to find him. But Red? I gently stroke her ashen forehead then the side of her face that’s already starting to bruise.
“An ambulance is on its way for her, Will called them after the call to us dropped,” Michael assures me, his hand squeezing my shoulder, offering me his support.
With shaking hands, I delicately shift Ellie’s red locks from her face, “I’ll make it right,” I whisper. “I promise I’ll make it right,” I tell her then press a kiss to her clammy temple.
Will rolls over, handing me a cushion, and I slide it under her head before getting to my feet. “I need you to tell me exactly what happened,” I tell him.
WILL
For the first time since I was shot, I felt like a man. Shooting that son of a bitch felt amazing. I’m just pissed I didn’t get a better shot off.
“Will,” Zak says again, pulling me from my recollection.
Shaking my head, I focus on him. “Yeah, umm, we were watching some chick flick and Smurf went to make us some coffees. There was a knock at the door. I followed behind her when she went to answer it. Some guy threw her back so hard she hit the wall and when she fell to the floor, another guy kicked her hands out from under her. I shot him when he lifted his foot above her head,” I pause, seeing it all in my head again.
“The fucker was about to stomp on her head, man, and I just…I shot him.” I swallow, I know I did the right thing, I don’t even feel a little bit bad. But shouldn’t I? The image of the bullet making contact is burned into my retinas, and my lips twitch.
If the first one—the guy who shoved Ellie into the wall—hadn’t of punched me, I would have shot him too. But I didn’t even see him coming because I was only focused on the guy about to kick Ellie’s head in.
Zak is staring at me, so I continue. “As soon as I fired, the guy who was at the door king hit me and I blacked out. When I came to they were gone. And…” I swallow hard, failure lodging in my throat. “So was the baby.” My head hangs, unable to keep eye contact with him. “When I couldn’t find Kadyn, I called youI would have called you, but I didn’t have your number, so I called Michael. I’m so fuckin’ sorry, Zak. I didn’t protect them, I should have done more.” Self-loathing eats at me as it has done since I learnt my legs were useless.
“Don’t blame yourself, kid, this is all on me. I shouldn’t have left them unprotected. I shouldn’t have left them at all,” he says, looking down at me with pity.
I fucking hate pity. Legs or not, I should have been able to do better. I should have been more focused, then I would have been able to take them both out.
Zak’s looking down at Smurf, and I can read every thought as it passes over his face. It guts me. He may say this isn’t on me, but we both know it is.
ZAK
This is all my fault and I need to fix it.
Abe approaches me with all the confidence of a man on a mission, gripping my bicep when he stops at my side, I stare at him. “We need to go,” he says. “A neighbour saw a car flying out of here, going west. We need to go now if we’re going to find them. EMT’s are already on their way for your woman. Let’s move, man.”
I swallow, glancing down at Red again. “Let’s go.” I follow Abe out to his truck, sliding into the passenger seat. “Let’s find the fuckstick who thinks he can fuck with my family,” I tell Abe, and he revs the engine as he pulls away from the curb.
Not fifteen minutes into the drive, we find a car on the side of the road, pulled haphazardly to the side. Caution be damned, I swing the drivers’ door wide and find blood smeared all over the passenger seat. A lot of blood. Abe and I follow the trail to the closes house.
Bloody handprints mar the front door. “We should wait for back-up,” Abe tells me, right as a high-pitched squeal fills the air.
Kadyn, Christ, it’s Kadyn. She’d be ready for a feed by now. Another bellow fills the air and I can’t stay out here while I know my baby is in there. “No, I’m going in,” I say right as I kick the front door in.
The chaos that ensues is something I will never forget.
ABE
Before I can stop him, Zak has kicked in the door and charged into the house. I follow behind him, my gun in hand as we clear one room at a time, making our way to the sound of Kadyn’s crying.
A young woman huddles in the corner of the lounge room, a little boy held tightly in her arms, sobbing quietly into his mother’s chest. When she sees us, she quickly points down a hall with a quivering hand. Zak nods, moving in the direction she pointed. I approach her, and crouch down. “Go outside, get in my truck, and lock the doors,” I instruct, handing her my phone. “Then call the police.”
She scrambles to her feet, her child wrapped around her torso like a monkey, and I turn to catch up with Zak. When I find him, he’s poised outside what I assume is a bathroom.
Kadyn’s shrill scream vibrates through the door. Zak is on high alert. “We can’t just bust in there,” I murmur. “It’ll frighten her more, and we don’t know what’s on the other side of this door.”
Zak’s teeth grind audibly as he nods. “You open it, I’ll cover you. Get Kadyn and get out, Paco is mine,” he whispers.
My fingers curl around the door knob, and I slide my Glock into the back of my jeans. Meeting Zak’s eyes, he silently counts down with his fingers. Three, two, one…go!
I swing the door open. My gaze finding Kadyn immediately, she’s laying on the cold tiles, her tiny body wriggling as she wails. I cover her, shielding her with my body as I scoop her into my arms, holding her close to my chest. Keeping my back to the action unfolding behind me I get us the hell out of there.
Running through the house and out to my truck, the rear door swings open, and the woman from inside holds her arms out to take Kadyn from me. “I’ve got her. The police are coming,” she says, just as sirens sound in the distance.
At the sound of gun fire, I deposit Kadyn in the woman’s waiting arms. Retrieving my Glock, I run back inside.
ZAK
When Abe has Kadyn out of the room, I move. My vision tunnels, focusing s
olely on Paco who is hunched over the side of a bathtub, blood seeping from a wound in his right side. Rage pulses through me like a firestorm, and I bring my gun to his temple, ready to end this once and for all.
A sharp searing pain tears through my thigh. Paco’s man, shit, he wasn’t in here a minute ago. He stands braced to attack again, a blade dripping with my blood held in his right hand, a stack of bandages at his feet. He strikes out and I parry to the left, the blade grazing across my left pec, over my heart. Reacting on impulse my left hand shoots out, locking around his wrist then bringing his elbow down hard over my knee. Satisfaction radiating through me as I feel the bone snap.
The blade clatters to the floor, and so does he yelling out in pain.
Returning my focus to Paco, I raise my piece again, only to hear the tell-tale sound of a pistol being cocked. Persistent little bastard this one. Taking a deep breath, I drop down to my knees, twisting my torso as I go and squeeze the trigger.
Paco’s man drops his weapon, blood staining his shirt over his shoulder. Abe rushes in, Glock at the ready, lowing it as he takes in the scene. “You good?” he asks.
I swallow and nod. “Where’s Kadyn?”
“She’s in the truck with the woman and little boy,” he tells me. “Cops will be here any minute, lets zip tie these fuckers and get you back to your girls. The cops can take it from here.”
Glancing over my shoulder I stare at Paco. Barely conscious from blood loss, yet his eyes stay locked on me. “She’ll never be—yours,” he chokes out.
Adrenaline combine with pure rage pushes me forward, my hand wraps around his throat and I squeeze. Ready to squeeze the life out of this piece of shit intent on taking what’s mine. “She always has been and always will be, mine!” I hiss. Paco’s eyes roll into the back of his head then Abe is there, pulling me off his limp body.
Fury pulses through my veins, “Get off me!”
“No! You finish him here and this is the last time you see your baby girl without a piece of Perspex between you,” Abe barks, shoving me back a step.
Shit, he’s right.
Breathing hard I concentrate on slowing my heartrate. My pulse thunders in my ears as I storm out of the room, leaving Abe to deal with Paco and his man. I know if I stay in there, Paco will be leaving in a body bag.
Walking out the front door I retrain my thoughts, my girls, yes. I need to be with my girls.
Chapter Twenty-One
ELLIE
Lights blind me every time I try to open my eyes. Bright florescent lights.
I fade in and out of consciousness. I want to know what’s happening. I need to know what’s happening.
But my eyes won’t listen when I tell them to stay open.
Blink.
Blink.
Blink.
I can’t keep them open. As hard as I try, I can’t keep them open.
Kadyn, what happened to Kadyn? That’s my last conscious thought as the darkness takes me again.
ZAK
Holding Kadyn in my arms, I sit by Red’s bed. She’s been in and out of consciousness for the last two days now. The doctors say she’ll wake when she’s ready. And it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to see.
I cling to Kadyn. She is my lifeline in all the darkness trying to swallow me whole.
This is all my fault. Red wouldn’t be here if I had just stayed home that day.
The doctors say she can hear me, even though she’s not responding, so I talk. The whole time I sit here, I talk.
ELLIE
I know he’s here, by my side. I can feel him. I can feel Kadyn.
Why can’t I wake up? Why can’t I speak?
Swallowing hard, I try again. “Za-ak,” I force his name past my lips.
He’s here, I can feel it. His hand wraps around mine, squeezing. “Red,” he whimpers. “Please, baby, please wake up?”
I want to, I want to look at him, to lay my eyes on his beautiful face. Mustering all my strength, I force my eyelids to obey. They flicker once, twice, three times. “Zak,” I whisper harshly. “Kadyn?”
“She’s here, Red, she’s safe. We’re here, Red. Just waiting for you to come back to us.” His voice is soft, too soft.
I swallow again, my throat so dry and gruff it hurts. Blinking again, I try to focus my eyes on him. It takes a while, but when they do, I smile. He’s really here. I sigh. He’s here. I’m not dreaming.
His hand clasps mine. “I’m here, baby. I’m here,” he assures me.
Zak’s voice is stronger now. “Zak,” I whisper again. “I love you.” It’s the only thing I can think to say. He has to know I love him and Kadyn with everything I have, everything I am.
My head feels heavy though, and I can’t tell him again before I fade into darkness.
But I can still hear him. He’s talking to me.
He tells me everything that happened while I’ve been in this pit of obscurity.
Kadyn is safe.
Kadyn is safe.
And that’s all that matters.
ZAK
This chair is the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever slept in. My neck aches, my head throbs, and my eyes sting.
“Zak,” I hear her husky whisper and I instantly come alive.
My eyes spring open, finding her greens shining tiredly back at me. I blink and blink again. “Red,” I murmur. “Baby, I’ve missed you.” My hand clasps around hers tightly.
“I’ve missed you too,” she rasps.
Getting to my feet I ignore the pain burning through my thigh from the knife wound, and lean over, pressing my starved lips to hers. “God, Red, I thought I’d lost you. Don’t ever do that again.”
“I’ll try,” she whispers. “I love you. But where’s Kadyn?” she asks, her voice strained and tight.
Swiping the cup of water off her side table, I offer her a sip through the straw. “Drink, baby,” I tell her, pressing the straw to her dry lips. She swallows down a few sips then stares at me. I smile. “She’s okay. She’s with Abe and Kalista. I had her with me for the first two days, but it was too much for her, she needed to get back into her routine.”
“Why couldn’t I wake up?” she asks.
I shake my head. “You hit your head really hard, babe, you needed time to recover. That’s what the doctor told me. But now you’re awake, everything is going to be fine,” I assure her, kissing her lips again. Then her cheeks, then her forehead. “I love you so much, Red.”
“I love you too,” she mumbles. “Can we go home now?”
“No way, I’m not taking you out of here until the doctor says it’s okay. You scared me, Red. Nothing is more important to me than you and Kadyn. And I’m not letting you out of this bed until the doctor promises me you’re ready.”
Red has the nerve to roll her eyes. “So controlling,” she sniggers quietly to herself. “Hey, Zak? I’m so glad we found each other. You are my everything. And you’ve given me everything I never knew I wanted.”
“Me too, Red, me too.”
ALEC
I wish I could have been there for Zak when he needed me. I feel like the worst kind of friend, but it couldn’t be avoided.
This case has consumed my entire life. She has consumed my soul. And they are what matters most to me now.
No matter what happens, from here on out, they are my top priority. Even if that means I have to leave behind everyone who has ever meant anything to me, including my family.
Epilogue
Three Years Later
ELLIE
“Kadyn, get your cute little butt back here!” I call after our little raven haired hellion.
“No,” she calls back, still running away from me.
I groan. I’m really over our morning ritual of me trying to do her hair and her running away like the fires of hell themselves are on her heels.
“I’ll be gentle, I promise!” I call after her, poking my head into each room as I go.
“No!”
Following the sound, I f
ind her in our bedroom, sitting on Daddy’s lap, snuggled into his arms. I glare at her., “What are you doing? It’s time to do your hair.”
“No!” she yells at me, then tucks her face into Zak’s chest again.
“What do you mean ‘no’? We have to do your hair, Kadyn, it’s got knots in it. If we leave them they will turn into a big, yucky rat’s nest.”
One eye peeks out at me, and I know it’s one half of the stink eye. “No! Mummy make Taydn cry,” she says.
I gape. “I do not. If you sat still it wouldn’t hurt,” I rebut. I can’t believe I’m having this argument with a three-year old. Welcome to my life. I scowl at her. “Fine, you know what, Daddy can do your hair today.” I’m feeling pretty smug right now. Zak has never done Kadyn’s hair, he’s sure to be worse at it than me.
He lowers his head until Kadyn meets his eyes. “Do you want Daddy to do your hair, princess?”
Kadyn beams. “Yes!”
My jaw drops. “Fine! You know what, that’s just fine.” I pass Zak her hairbrush and two hair bands. “Here you go, have at it.”
He smirks at me. “We got this, don’t we, Princess?” He gives her a wink.
I snort and take a seat in the corner to get a front row view of the action about to unfold. Zak takes the brush and gently runs it through Kadyn’s scraggly ends, slowly moving upwards. She isn’t cringing or pulling away—what the hell?
I watch in fascination as she sits perfectly still while Zak brushes all the knots out of her hair then ties it in a neat pony tail on top of her little head. “There you go Princess, all done,” he says, kissing her cheek and lowering her to the floor.