Roxie glanced down the hall. Sekiro huddled near the exit, watching everything unfold. There was nothing she could do to help and they both knew it. Roxie reached with her mind for the shadow people blocking the exit, then, using a throwing motion with her sword arm, she sent dozens of them flying down the hall and all the way to the other end. They careened down the hall like a mass of black minnows being dumped down a chute. The removal of their company allowed for some sunlight to pour in from open doorways. It also showed her mother standing a few feet away, her face and hair all black. She looked demonic with small horns protruding from her hairline. Big white fangs framed her mouth. She broke into a smile, revealing more pointed teeth, and then she lunged for Roxie so fast she couldn’t react.
Roxie bounced off the ground, slid a little farther and came to a stop. She felt the shadow people let go and her head began to swim. She’d lost so much energy to her mother alone. Only her rage and will to survive kept her conscious. Sekiro’s face appeared over hers and hands wedged themselves under her shoulders.
Sekiro grunted, then stopped trying. “C’mon, move! You’re too heavy for me to lift.” She kept her hands under Roxie’s shoulders, a steady pressure urging her upright.
Roxie tried to snap at her to tell her to try and sit up when her own life energy had been sucked out of her, but her mouth wouldn’t move.
She then realized she could sense the Numina trying to will her to get up. On top of that, she could sense her mother’s will urging her to stay down. The shadow people willed the same. All these wants filled her head like faint melodies playing nearby, Mom’s will the loudest. The melodies were more like verbal phrases repeating themselves over and over, making it hard to concentrate on her own will.
Roxie lifted her head, which felt like it weighed a ton, and saw her mother strolling closer, the solidified shadow people following right behind. There were so many that she couldn’t see past them. So many had stolen so much energy. No wonder she’d felt so weak so fast. Dragging her shield arm to her, she rolled her weight to one side and made herself sit up.
Mom lunged at her with superhuman speed and slammed her back onto the floor, pinning her stomach with a knee and placing her stumps right over Roxie’s heart. Coldness seized her and she gasped as it felt like her heart was being pried out of her chest. She was reaching the bottom of her well of life energy. Her mouth felt full of cotton and her face felt like it had been shot full of Novocain. The iciness was disappearing. This wasn’t a good sign. Panic began to encroach on her rage.
“How nice of you to help your mother out of this hellhole. I thank you from the bottom of my broken heart.”
Roxie wanted to tell Mom that she didn’t have a heart but, even if she could get her voice to work, it wouldn’t be a smart thing to say. Instead she focused on willing her mother to let go.
The shadow people latched onto her legs, making the numbness spread. Roxie’s eyes widened.
Sekiro’s hands slipped out from under Roxie’s shoulders. She tackled Mom and bounced off her. The Numina scrambled back to her feet and began harassing the shadow people, pulling them off one by one. She sent them stumbling backwards, but each of them regained their balance and latched right back on.
Roxie’s eyes rolled back and she lost consciousness--well, sort of. It slipped from her physical body to deep inside, where the core of her power was hidden. All she could hear was her fading heartbeat, and then she saw the wide open trap door that had once contained the first half of her power. Golden light shined through from deep within. There was only blank darkness beyond the light.
How had she arrived here after falling unconscious? She couldn’t accuse this moment of not making any sense since she didn’t know where anyone’s consciousness went after falling asleep or passing out. On top of that, this could be her full power’s doing. Maybe this was where she needed to go in order to find a way to survive.
She jumped in the air and let herself fall through the door.
Roxie became bathed in golden light and acutely aware of the vast amount of power her dying body still contained. She still had the strength of will to take on a god. Her core was bursting with power. It charged her with energy and determination. How could she harness it? Could she turn it into life energy and invigorate herself? She willed the power to fill her limbs and restore her energy. Instead, she felt her rage return and an unshakable desire to live. She looked up at the square opening and willed herself to wake up. “C’mon, Rox. Wake up. Wake up and fight! This is your energy; not theirs. This is your life and no one else’s. Wake up!”
Her awareness surged upward, out of the golden light, and into blackness. She felt the cold, the numbness, and the floor beneath her.
“Well, well. Look who’s miraculously returned from the brink of death.”
Mom’s dry retort fueled Roxie’s rage. She needed to put her mother in her place, then get out of this hospital and never come back. She tried to lift her sword arm, but it felt weighed down to the floor. It wouldn’t move. Come on. Move! Her arm still wouldn’t move. She willed it harder to no avail. What was going on?
The wills of Mom and the shadow people chanted away for her to keep still and just die. It broke her focus on moving her arm and redirected it to their will. They were what she needed to focus her will on. She tried to open her mouth and snap at them to let go, but could only throw her will at them. Mom flinched and the shadow people recoiled, removing their mountain of hands.
Roxie sucked in a merciful gulp of air and for a moment she suffered from only a minor leeching of her life energy. Once she stopped focusing on willing the shadow people to let go, they dropped back onto her and made her head swim. Her eyes started to roll back but she forced herself to stay conscious. The focusing made the swimming sensation go away, giving her the mental energy needed to assault them with her will again. The shadow people backed off, putting several feet between her and them. Mom remained kneeling over her with her hands pressed over Roxie’s heart. Mom was so much stronger than them.
Roxie tried to move her lips. She breathed out two syllables that didn’t sound remotely like what she was trying to say.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you trying to say something to me?” Mom leaned in, flashing her a heartless smile mere inches from her face.
Roxie swallowed the cotton feeling down and whispered, “Let... go.”
Mom lost her smile as her hands and face lifted away.
Roxie took in another gulp of air. Sensation returned to her face, and so did the coldness. Her whole body began to shiver. She lifted her shaking shield arm and pushed Mom so she wasn’t hovering over her. Mom hugged her arms around the shield and latched onto Roxie’s arm. Cold and numbness seeped back into her. Roxie swallowed again and poured all her will into having her mother let go and run back into her hospital room. “Let go.” Her voice came out no more than a whisper.
The floor vibrated as Mom’s hands let go like she’d been burned. Her concentration faltered.
Dark eyes widening, Mom shot her gaze all around the hallway, then settled on Roxie. The gears worked behind her eyes as her intent scampered between finishing sucking Roxie dry, or just backing off. A wave of despair emanated from her, filling Roxie’s mind with the nightmarish memories Mom had been reliving for the past eighteen years.
Mom let out a cry of desperation. “I can’t stop! I have to have every last drop of your energy. I need to get out of here!” She formed hands out of shadow and darkness, and curled them around one of Roxie’s shins.
Roxie sat up. Thanks to her healing powers, warmth was returning, but Mom’s touch brought warming to a stop. She raised her sword and pointed it at her mother’s face. “Let go and back off.”
Mom surged to her feet and backed up several steps as the ground and walls shook.
Still shivering, Roxie pushed to her feet, sword ready. She couldn’t stand up straight because she was shivering so hard. She hugged her shield arm to her side as she willed herself to keep he
r sword up.
“Don’t do this. I need to get out of here.”
Taking in the horns, the fangs, the roiling darkness enveloping her like a halo, Roxie gave her mother a look of disgust. “Do you have... no remorse... for what you’ve done to me?” She knew what the answer would be and that made her stomach drop.
“Please. I need all your energy. Think of what I’ve been through!” She held out her arms longingly, like a mother holding them out for a child to run to and receive a loving hug.
Roxie’s heart ached, knowing that would never be.
Sekiro stood beside her, watching Mom. “I’m sorry, Roxie. I didn’t think it would be this bad.”
“It’s not... your fault.” Lowering her shivering sword arm, she turned for the exit. “I’m ready to go.”
“No!” Mom wailed. She lunged for them at human speed, shadow hands leading the way.
Roxie held up her shield arm like an officer directing traffic to stop, halting Mom’s assault mid-stride. Mom’s eyes widened. Roxie slowly lowered her arm and held her concentration, rooting her mother in place. She took a deep breath and spoke in a low, furious voice. The walls and floor began to shake like they were being rattled by thunder. “You are going back to your hellhole to think. Nothing but think. And without my stolen energy.” Furious as she was, she still didn’t want to stab the one person that was her mother, but this was a necessary evil. Her eyes stung with tears as she took in the blood covering her mother. She twisted her body and drove her sword between the outstretched arms and through her mother’s heart. “Now go.” The ground and walls shook again.
Mom’s body lightened to human skin tones and the darkness pulled away from her as if the shadow people were pulling it to them. The shadow hands evaporated and her arms dropped at her bloodied sides. She looked at Roxie with absolute despair lining her face, and then her gaze grew unfocused. Roxie pulled out her sword and watched her mother’s body fade like smoke thinning over a dying fire. A diminished black specter whisked away down the hall and slipped into a room halfway down, leaving a trail of despair in its wake.
Roxie looked at her glowing sword, then sheathed it. Sekiro beckoned to her and together they left the hospital and stepped out into sunlight. The despair left every part of her body but her heart. Tears blurred her vision and she felt the intense glowing in her eyes soften to the familiar warmth. Nope, don’t cry. Crying would only take energy she didn’t have to spare. She wiped them away but more fell, so she let them fall freely. “Man, I’m crying so much lately.”
“It’s okay. Let’s put some distance between you and this hospital.” Sekiro took her hand. Together they leapt into the air and flew off. Roxie wanted to ask where they were going, but it was taking all her energy to beat her wings. She’d have her answer soon enough anyway.
The ground fell away beneath them and became a blur. With the sun on their right, they headed north. It felt like only seconds had passed by the time the ground came back into focus, yet continued to roll on by. The ground was all pine trees and snow, with patches of frozen water gleaming in the sunlight. Sekiro let go of her hand and veered towards a snowy island in the middle of a lake-sized body of water. They sank inside a circle of trees and alighted next to a pile of boulders worn smooth and cracked with time. Roxie didn’t feel the cold so she leaned against one of the boulders and slipped to the ground. “I’ll be right back. I really need...”
“I know. You’re safe here.” Sekiro gave her a sympathetic smile and took a seat on one of the rocks.
Roxie closed her eyes and meditated her way to her altar of food. Her heart sank at the sight of shadow people hovering maybe ten feet away. She picked up the smudge stick and shooed the shadow people away with the smoke it emanated. They ran off into the darkness. Roxie wanted to bawl her eyes out so bad. She couldn’t seem to find one place where she’d be left in peace.
She wiped her tears and returned to her food. Three slices of quiche, two granny smith apples, and two glazed chocolate doughnuts awaited her consuming pleasure, but she felt anything but hungry. She felt too heartsick to want any food. Instead she returned the smudge stick and picked up the small bouquet of jasmine flowers, hugged them to her chest, and sat on the dark, featureless ground. She leaned against one of the table legs which, to her surprise and relief, held her up. She breathed in the soft scent, enjoying the flowers her own loving grandmother had left for her. And that’s when she remembered she still had places to go and a god to take down.
Roxie opened her eyes and studied the flowers’ white petals. Beautiful dainty things. With a soft sigh, she made herself get back to her feet. The food still didn’t tempt her but she forced herself to pick up a doughnut and start eating. Her mother was a huge disappointment, nothing more than a hole in her heart, but the pain would lessen with time. She had a feeling it would never completely vanish, even though she sorely hoped it would.
The first bite of food awoke her appetite. She set aside the flowers and began eating in earnest. She glanced around after the doughnuts were gone. To her relief, there wasn’t a single shadow person in sight. She felt like she could cry about that, too. But she didn’t. She ate everything on the altar, then picked up the flowers once again, lay on the ground with the bouquet tucked under her chin, and went to sleep with one of her wings draped over her like a blanket.
Chapter 8
Kara’s Secret
Baku materialized next to Aerigo’s corpse and took in the blood and lifelessness. Eyes closed, mouth slightly ajar with a line of blood across it where Roxie had passed a loving, heartbroken finger, arms at his sides, and his booted feet shoulder-width apart, never to bear his weight again. Roxie had lain him down with care but the rock offered Aerigo’s body no comfort. Blood had soaked through all of his shirt and dribbled into a pool beneath him. Baku knelt beside him, chest and throat tight.
He spread his arms, intent on embracing the corpse to his chest, but he stopped and took in the sheer amount of blood staining Aerigo’s clothes. With a thought and gesture of a hand, he wiped away the blood and sent it back into Aerigo’s body as if a vacuum were sucking it in. Then he pulled moisture out of the air and encased the corpse in ice.
He wasn’t ready to bury him yet. Sure, he could turn the body to dust and send it to more peaceful corners of the universe, but not yet. The death was still too near. He wasn’t in denial though. Having endured the lives and deaths of countless mortal creatures of his own, acceptance and grief management had been well learned. But one Aigis--his first Aigis--this was different. Felt different. It felt like a piece of his being had been killed the moment Aerigo had died. He’d felt it like a bullet to his heart. It’d left him physically, emotionally, and mentally stunned up to the moment Roxie had vanished. Not died; vanished. And now Nexus’s prophecy rampaged unchallenged.
Baku knelt over Aerigo’s head and pressed his forehead to Aerigo’s as tears bled freely. He clutched Aerigo’s head as memories played in his mind: the day they’d first met, snippets of watching him learn and grow as an Aigis and a mortal, all the training he’d undergone, wars he’d fought in, lives he’d saved, lives he’d taken, women he’d loved, yet Sandra and Roxie standing out far above the rest, the times with Daio and against him, the many a deep conversation between them, his loneliness from outliving so many mortals, the breaking of his heart and spirit after the loss of Sandra, the slow mending, and finally the moments after Roxie had entered his life. Baku sorely wished he hadn’t inadvertently interrupted their moment together on the ground in his realm. Such a beautiful thing to flourish between two mortal souls.
Baku sent Aerigo’s corpse to his realm, right on the spot in the grass where he and Roxie had cuddled together. He couldn’t think of a more fitting place before bringing himself to let go of the mortal husk that had hosted a good, kind soul. Baku’s hands sank to the rocky ground as the corpse disappeared out from under them. He took a moment to absorb what he’d done, then forced himself to open his eyes and take in the b
are rock before him. There was no blood; just rock and dust. He passed a hand across the sandstone and made himself get up. He had a lot of questions for his son, including Roxie’s whereabouts. None of them would get answered while he sat there, lost in grief, with a mortal war waging nearby.
Din materialized in front of him, his normally bright blue eyes a stormy grey, and fiery red hair faded almost to a strawberry blonde. He had taken on the form of his mortals from Sconda, the people Aerigo and Roxie had gone to for speed training. Din wore funeral ceremony attire: white shirt with wide long sleeves that fell just past his fingertips, and golden buttons down the front, a circle of white cloth draped over his shoulders with black-thread embroidery depicting running mortals with swirls of lines representing wind, and white gaucho pants with more black embroidery on the cuffs. “What did you do with Aerigo’s body?” His voice came out tight and emotional.
“I safely stowed it on my realm. I’m not ready to part with it yet.”
Some color returned to Din’s hair. “Oh, thank you. I want to pay my respects to him when the time is right.”
“I understand.” Baku glanced at the plateau where several gods stood, watching the war unfold. Nexus wasn’t among them. He had run off with Kara to his temple. Baku was about to join them, but one thing first. He glanced at the carnage, then focused on Din. “Why did I do nothing but watch?”
Din tore his eyes from the war. “What do you mean?”
“What just happened to my two Aigis... I did nothing but watch. Kara’s the one who had the wit to stop it.”
Determination Page 11