“Sorry. She was lucky to have you.” Alex squeezed my hand. “I bet you were a great nurse. What made you quit? Didn’t you enjoy helping people?”
I didn’t pull my hand away from his. The strength of it around mine felt good. Six more points.
“That’s just it. You never really help people. The people like my grandmother, with the multiple diseases on multiple medications? They never get better. You feed them pills and watch them deteriorate until they finally die. Most people aren’t willing to make the lifestyle changes it would take for them to get better.”
“Is that why you decided to do the alternative health thing?”
I shook my head. “I wish I could say that. Truth be told, when I first got here, I was becoming one of my patients. I was overweight and had just been diagnosed with diabetes and high blood pressure. If I hadn’t made the changes I did, in about thirty years, I’d probably have started losing my toes and having heart attacks. Alaysia saved my life. After a few months on her program, my doctor stopped my meds.”
Alex’s eyes were huge. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this before.”
“Why would I have told you all that personal stuff?”
“Monica, it’s not personal stuff. Don’t you see? What a huge marketing hook for your business. Not only can you be a gym, but you can market yourself to local doctors’ offices as a lifestyle program with a registered nurse who does health counseling that can cure high blood pressure and diabetes.”
“I wouldn’t say ‘cure’.”
“Maybe that’s a bit strong, but . . .” I could see the wheels in his brain spinning. Being brilliant at business made him even more attractive. Four points.
“You could probably set it up so you can bill health insurance companies. That gives you a broader client base and much more income. Do you have your nurse’s license here?”
“No, but it shouldn’t be too hard to get.”
“Great. Start working on it and we’ll put together a database of medical practices and do a brochure specifically for patients with the diseases you mentioned.”
I smiled. “You never stop working, do you?”
He shrugged. “It’s who I am.”
The waitress came and set our plates in front of us. Alex looked over at my tofu. “I promised to taste that, huh?”
“Yep.”
We spent the rest of dinner mapping out our new business strategy. While Alex was writing, his arm kept brushing against mine, and he kept touching my hand when he got excited about ideas. His touches intoxicated me, and I had to remind myself we were just hanging buddies. I kept adding up the points and Alex, with his good-looking, good-smelling, brilliant, funny, sweet self, was up to about thirty by the time we finished eating. I had to stop myself from thinking about what kind of husband and father he would make. I was doing that “black woman with a plan” thing he talked about.
Finally, the waitress gave us the “get out of my section so I can serve someone else and get another big tip” look, so I tapped my watch and hinted that maybe we needed to bring our non-date to an end.
“Are you serious? We’re just getting started. I thought we might go to the salsa club in Buckhead. That is, if you can dance.”
“Is that a challenge, Mr. Thompson?”
“I do believe it is, Ms. Harris.”
“In that case, you’re on.” It just so happened that the Latin dance class at the gym was my favorite. I had learned how to salsa, merengue, mambo, and cha-cha.
I followed him to the club and we parked. He took my hand and led me inside. It was getting harder and harder to think of him as a hanging buddy.
The club was packed to capacity, and the thick air pulsed with the infectious heartbeat of the conga drums. I knew I was the envy of every woman and a few men in the club. Alex was not only gorgeous, but he moved like he had some Cuban in his hips.
I should have known better. Latin dance was way too sensual for hanging buddies. We gyrated and twisted to the Latin rhythms. I rationalized that we were just dancing, but I felt the Holy Spirit tapping me on the shoulder saying, “Excuse me, Miss Thang. What do you think you’re doing?” I figured with everything I had gone through the past year, I deserved to have some fun with a beautiful man, so I ignored Him.
After we worked up a sweat, we decided to get some drinks. I ordered iced tea, and Alex got a Long Island Iced Tea. I frowned at his drink order, but after the dancing, I stopped subtracting points. We sat at a table in the corner, hugged up, talking some more. I rationalized that we had to sit close so we could hear each other over the music. I couldn’t rationalize his hand on my thigh. I could almost see the Holy Spirit sitting across the table from me, shaking His head, tsk-tsking my bad-girl behavior, but I didn’t pay attention. He had to understand how much I needed this.
Alex was at a solid fifty points and counting. After we finished our drinks, Alex fanned himself and suggested we go get some air. He put an arm around my waist and led me outside. I felt like I was the one who had been drinking alcohol.
When we got outside, the March evening air chilled the sweat on my body. Alex held my hand and looked down at me. My heart pounded. Before I could blink, his full, sweet lips were on mine. We kissed until I couldn’t breathe. I could hear the Holy Spirit telling me to stop, but I didn’t care.
I’ll be good tomorrow. I promise. Just let me have this right now.
I kissed Alex again, shocked at myself. He pulled back and smiled.
“What happened to rational adults making a conscious decision?” I asked.
“You’re right. We should go back inside. One more dance and we’ll call it a night.”
Everything was going so well until . . .
This person approached Alex on the dance floor. He wore tight jeans and an even tighter muscle shirt, and I could swear he was wearing foundation and eyeliner. “Hey.” He stared at Alex too intently.
I looked at Alex to see if he really knew this person. I was shocked when he gave him a hug and said, “Don’t you look good.”
Forty-nine, forty-eight, forty-seven . . . Alex’s points were plunging by the second.
“Monica, this is Shawn, an old friend of mine.”
Forty-six, forty-five, forty, thirty-five, thirty . . .
Shawn shook my hand, but looked at Alex. “Old friend? Is that what I am now?” He paused dramatically and looked at me. “Oh, I’m sorry. Shhhh, my bad.”
Twenty-five, twenty, fifteen, ten . . .
Shawn slipped Alex a card. “Call me.” He walked off.
I looked at Alex. “I’m ready to leave.” I didn’t wait for his response.
When we got into the parking lot, Alex grabbed my arm. “Whoa, you aren’t on a treadmill. Slow down. Let me explain.”
I turned around, sure I didn’t want to hear his explanation. Last time a man said, “Let me explain,” it changed my whole life.
Nineeightsevensixfivefourthree . . .
“I didn’t tell you because we were supposed to just be hanging buddies. I didn’t expect us to . . . you know, hit it off so well on our first outing. I guess now is a good time to tell you. I’m bisexual.”
Negative 100, negative 1,000, negative a million . . .
I nodded and walked to my car, pulling my keys out of my purse.
He followed me. “Monica, wait. I didn’t think you’d have such a problem with this. You seem so intelligent and open-minded.”
Negative ten to the ninth power, tenth power, eleventh power . . .
I didn’t look at him. “Sorry, Alex. I gotta go.”
I slammed my car door and drove off before he could say another word.
When I came in the door, Alaysia came running to hear about my date. “Soooooooo?”
“Sooooooo much for you picking me out a man.” I slammed the front door. I stormed into my bedroom. I took off my shoes and threw them into the closet. One of them missed and put a small black mark on the wall.
Alaysia’s eyes widened. “W
hat’s wrong with you? Did he try something?”
I mimicked her voice. “Choose well, Monica. Just go out on a date and try him out, Monica. He’s fine, he’s smart, he’s successful. Forget your two-year wash-out period, Monica.” I threw my purse on the bed.
“Calm down. What happened?”
“What happened? I’ll tell you what happened.” I described our run-in with Shawn at the salsa club. “Mr. Gorgeous, Mr. Perfect, Mr. Brilliant is bisexual.”
Alaysia’s hands flew to cover her wide-open mouth. “Alex is bi? Who knew?”
“You certainly didn’t. ‘Let me pick out your next man, Monica’.”
Alaysia laughed.
“Please, help me understand what’s funny.” I stomped into the bathroom and grabbed a washcloth and some soap and scrubbed my face and lips where he kissed me. “That’s it. I’m swearing off men forever. I will never look at another man, never go out with another man, never marry another man. NO MORE MEN.” I came back out and paced around the room. “How does this keep happening to me? Am I a gay magnet or something?”
“Technically, Monica, Alex isn’t gay. He’s bisexual. When you think about it, Kevin—”
Alaysia jumped when I let out a loud scream. “This is not the time for a lecture on the different categories of sexual preferences.”
“Sorry.” Alaysia sat down on the bed. “It doesn’t mean you should give up on men altogether. There are plenty of men at Khalil’s church you might be interested in.”
“Do I look like I’m interested in meeting anyone else?” I gave her the evilest face I could muster.
“Can’t say that you do. Not at this minute anyway. I don’t want you to give up. You just got the nerve to date again, and just because things didn’t go well with Alex doesn’t mean—”
“Out. Get out, Alaysia.” I pulled Alaysia’s arm to get her off my bed and pushed her out the door. “No more matchmaking, thank you. I’m going to the pet store tomorrow to start buying cats. Why wait ’til I get older?”
“Monnie, really, you don’t—”
“Out.” I closed the door firmly behind her. I let out a scream and pulled off my jeans and turtleneck and took a quick shower before jumping into bed.
I pulled the covers over my head. God, I know I wasn’t supposed to go out with him, so that’s on me. I don’t want to hear You say I told you so.
I cried into my pillow. Help me, God. I’m lonely. I’m trying to be happy with just me and You, but I really want babies and a husband. I know You’re my Husband, but can’t I have one down here I can hug and kiss, who hugs and kisses me back and keeps me warm at night? Not that You’re not enough, but . . . please, God. Please.
40
I was glad I had to focus on getting the business going. It kept me from thinking about what happened with Alex.
Alaysia and I hired painters to tone down the colors in the gym. We wanted to decrease some of the sensory overload. Alaysia wanted to take down the televisions in the cardio room because she wanted people to be able to focus on how their body felt while they worked out, but I argued that people needed the distraction to make it through their workout. We decided to decrease the levels on the house music some. Alaysia wanted to do smooth jazz and New Age music, but I argued that people came to work out, not sleep.
Our first staff meeting was great. Everyone was excited about Alaysia and I taking over. They were even more excited about their raises. We opened up the floor for suggestions on how people thought the gym could run better. About half of them were feasible, and Alaysia and I decided to incorporate them into our plan.
In six weeks, we were ready for our grand re-opening. I debated as to whether to invite Alex. I felt like he deserved to be there because of all of his help, but at the same time, I felt awkward about what had happened on our non-date. I decided to be a grown-up about it and called him. I went into our office in the gym and closed the door securely behind me.
“Alex? It’s Monica.”
“Oh, hey, Monica. Long time no hear from. How are things going with the gym?”
“Great. That’s why I’m calling. I wanted to invite you to our grand re-opening. It’s next Friday evening at eight. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Good. I’ll see you there.”
“Okay.”
The pregnant silence let me know that he was waiting for me to explain myself.
“Alex, I’m really sorry about the whole episode at the salsa club. I shouldn’t have left like that.”
“I know I kinda shook you up. It’s hard to know when to tell a person, and we were just supposed to be hanging buddies, and I didn’t expect for things to, you know, go as good as they did, and . . . well, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, Alex. I’m glad I found out early on, before . . . things got any further.”
“Now that you’ve had time to get used to the idea, I was wondering if you’d like to go out again.”
Was he serious? “Alex, I don’t know. I—”
“Come on, Monica. I really had a good time that night. I know you did, too. I know what we said about hanging buddies, but I felt like we connected. Like it could be more than that.”
I fingered the loops in the telephone cord. “Alex, let me be honest. If I was gonna be with you, I might as well stay with my soon-to-be ex-husband.”
“Oh.” Silence. “Oh. I didn’t know. No wonder you ran off like that. I’m sorry. Must have been traumatic for you.”
“Traumatic is a good way to describe it.”
We sat there, not saying anything.
“Alex, I still want you to come to the opening.”
“I’ll be there, Monica. I promise. Maybe we can still be friends. I enjoy your company.”
“I don’t know, Alex. We sorta proved men and women can’t be friends. At least not with such a fine, sexy specimen of a man as yourself.”
“You’re the sexy one. Especially doing the salsa. Man, you really put it on me.”
We laughed. “See you next Friday?”
“I’ll be there.”
41
The gym was packed to capacity with people wishing us well for our grand re-opening. It was funny seeing people I normally saw only in exercise gear dressed in fancy clothes. I bought a red cocktail dress with the whole upper back out. Alaysia said she had to watch me because I was starting to dress like a hoochie since I lost so much weight. I told her I liked showing my sculpted arms and back. I worked hard to get them that way and deserved to show them off.
Talinda came over with her mom to greet me.
“Talinda, you look great. I can’t believe how much weight you’ve lost.” I motioned for her to turn around in a circle.
She posed proudly. “Thanks to you, girl.”
I gave her mom a kiss on the cheek. “And you look great, too, Ms. Gaines.”
She put her hands on her hips. “Thank you, baby. Y’all need to start a senior citizens program for me and my friends. If you do it right, I bet they’d all leave the Y and come here.”
I nodded. “Sounds like something I need to look into.”
Ms. Gaines said, “I ain’t trying to waste y’all’s catering money. Especially since this is healthy food.” She sauntered off to the spread of food we had catered by Whole Foods Market.
Talinda shook her head. “She’d be losing a lot more weight if she’d stop eating so much. I tell her it’s not enough to only exercise. She really has to . . . who is that fine brotha over there?”
I followed her eyes across the room and saw Alex. I smiled and waved.
“Girl, you know him? Is he your new man?”
“Naw, girl. I ain’t tryin’ to get with him. It’s a long story.”
“What’s up with you and these fine men and the long stories? I’m trying to have your kinda drama in my life.”
If she only knew.
Alex walked up and kissed me on the cheek and we exchanged a hug. Talind
a gave a little wave and followed her mom to the food table.
“Monica, you know you ain’t right for wearing that dress.” Alex looked me up and down.
I turned slowly, model-style. “You like?”
“Yeah, a little too much. You sure we can’t go out again? I promise, no more run-ins with old friends.”
I laughed. “Alex, I thought we settled this.”
“Can’t blame me for trying. I did want to see if you wanted to grab some coffee afterward. I want to talk to you about what you mentioned on the phone.”
“What?”
“Coffee. After the opening.”
“Alex.”
“I only want to talk. I promise. No dancing or anything else.”
I hesitated. “Okay, I’ll think about it.”
“Let me introduce you to a couple of doctors I invited. I sent them your brochure and they’re anxious to meet you.”
Alex had designed a brochure specifically targeted for doctors’ offices. On the front were my before and after pictures, and on the inside, I explained about the diabetes and high blood pressure with my before and after labs and blood pressure readings in there. I knew the doctors liked seeing the numbers on paper. It gave them proof our program worked.
Alex introduced me to the group of physicians he had invited.
“So, this is the nurse you were telling us could ‘cure’ diabetes and high blood pressure, huh?” A tall, cinnamon-colored doctor shook my hand a little too long.
“I wouldn’t say ‘cure’.” I pulled my hand away and stepped closer to Alex.
I chatted with the doctors for a while then spent the rest of the evening mingling with the other guests. Every once in a while, I looked up to see Alex staring at me. He winked and waved then continued schmoozing. We had some high power clients at our gym, so I hoped he was making some good business contacts.
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