I told him about Alaysia’s church, Bible study with Khalil, my Full-Figured Fitness Program, all the restaurants I had tried, all my new friends, and everything that had been going on for the nine months I had been in Atlanta. He listened, hanging on to every word until his eyelids got heavy.
“You must be exhausted, Kevin.” I looked at my watch. “I should let you get some sleep before the concert.” I stood up to leave.
“Wait. Please, don’t leave. We haven’t spent this much time together actually talking to each other in forever. I don’t want you to go.”
“Yeah, but you need a nap before the concert. I hate seeing you this tired. Why don’t you lie down?”
He reached for my hand. “Will you lie down with me? Just for a nap. I just want to hold you.”
“Kevin—”
He pulled me into his arms and kissed my cheek. “Come on, Monnie. It doesn’t have to mean anything. You can walk out of here and never want to see me again. Just let me hold you right now. Let me fall asleep and be able to feel your breathing against my chest. Let me have that. Okay?”
“I guess I could use a few snuggles.”
He smiled. We lay down on the bed, fully clothed. Kevin laid his head on my chest and put his arms around me. I rubbed his back.
“I miss you so much. I love you, Monica. God knows I do.”
“I love you too, Kevin. Please get some rest, okay?”
He nodded. In a few seconds, his breathing was heavy. I knew he was tired because it usually took him a few tosses and turns to fall asleep. I drifted off myself after a while.
I awoke to the sound of the door opening. Someone flipped on the lights and said, “Come on, Kevin, man. It’s almost show time. Get up.”
I squinted at the bald-headed, brown man that had used a key card to get into Kevin’s room.
“Oops, my bad. Sorry, ma’am. I didn’t mean to disturb you.” He backed toward the door.
“Ricky?” It was the drummer for Kevin’s band.
He stopped. “Do I know you?”
I lifted Kevin’s head off me and got up, smoothing out my shirt. “Ricky, it’s Monica.”
“Monica? Your voice sounds like you, but you don’t look like you. ”
He hugged me. “Girl, look at you. It’s so good to see you. And so good to see you with Kevin. Maybe he can get back to himself now. Please tell me you’re coming back to D.C. I don’t know how much longer he’s gonna make it without you. I feel like we’re losing him. The only time he’s himself is when he’s ministering.”
“What do you mean?”
“What’s up, Ricky, man? Did I oversleep again?” Kevin sat up, wiping his mouth, reaching for the clock. “Where we at again?”
“Atlanta, man. You straight. We got about an hour before we need to go. We did the sound checks this afternoon without you.”
“Oh yeah, Atlanta.” Kevin squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again. He looked at me and smiled. “Ricky, man, you see my beautiful wife?”
“Yeah, I didn’t recognize her at first. I thought one of the hotel groupies finally wore you down.”
“Whatever, man. You know I ain’t going out like that.”
“Monica, you think you can get him together and have him down in the lobby in about half an hour? He needs some strong black coffee and his vitamins. Should be in his toiletry case. His eye drops are in there, too. Make sure he ain’t bloodshot when he comes down. His clothes should be ironed already. I sent them down to the hotel laundry people. You got him?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I think I can handle it.” I looked at Ricky then looked at Kevin.
Ricky backed toward the door. “Good to see you, girl. I’ll see you back stage after the concert?”
I nodded.
After he left, I looked at Kevin.
“I know what you’re thinking. Ricky makes sure I keep it together, ’cause when I get tired, I forget things. He only has a key because when we were in Dallas, I overslept and they were banging on my door and calling my phone, but I didn’t answer. They finally had to get a key from the hotel people to get in to wake me up. That’s all. There’s nothing going on—”
“I wasn’t thinking that, Kevin. I was thinking if you’re so run down he has to do all that . . . I’m not gonna fuss. I just don’t like what this is doing to you.”
He smiled and kissed my cheek. “I’m fine. Now come on. Dress me.” He held out his arms and flashed a mischievous grin.
I smacked him on the butt. “Dress yourself. I’ll start the coffee.”
He went into the bathroom and I started making coffee in the hotel coffee pot. I thought about what Ricky said about Kevin not being himself. I knew there was no way I could convince him to end the tour early, but maybe when he was finished I could convince him to come down for some rest. Give him the spa treatment and see if I could put some weight back on him. Was that a good idea, though?
He came out in some black slacks and an olive mock turtleneck with a black sports jacket. In spite of how much weight he had lost, he still looked good. Real good. I inhaled the familiar scent of his cologne. God, how I missed that smell.
He turned around. “How do I look?”
“You look good, Mr. Day. Very good. And you smell good, too. Did you take your vitamins?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He dabbed some dark foundation on the bags under his eyes and then looked up at me. “It’s just to make my eyes look better. I don’t put it on my whole face.”
“I didn’t say anything and I wasn’t thinking anything.”
“I don’t want you to think I go around wearing makeup.”
“You’re going on stage. People wear makeup on stage.”
“That’s the only time I wear it.”
“Kevin, stop being paranoid. I’m not thinking anything bad about you.”
“I . . . I don’t want you to feel like I . . .”
“Don’t worry about that. Just worry about getting ready. And put those eye drops in. You look like an ol’ alcoholic.”
He grinned. “A’ight.” He dashed back to the bathroom.
There was a knock at the door. When I opened it, I heard a bunch of shrieks. “Monnie! It’s you. Ricky told us you were up here. Oh my God, look at you. You’re gorgeous.”
I got a group hug from Shavon, Janae, Regina and Tracey. “Girl, it is so good to see you. Where you been? You live in Atlanta now? You coming back home?”
“Hey, you guys. It’s good to see you, too.” I hugged each one of them. “Tracey, you chopped all your hair off. You look good, girl.”
“You the one. Look at you, Monnie. Look like you lost a hundred pounds.” Tracey grabbed me around the waist.
“What’s the story, Monnie? You went ghost on us and up and moved to Atlanta and left Kevin all jacked up. I thought we were friends. What happened?” Regina asked.
“Girl, shut your big mouth. If she wanted us all up in her business, we’d be all up in her business.” Shavon put her hands on her hips.
Kevin came out of the bathroom. “Hey, y’all. Time to go?”
“Yeah, Kevin. Ricky sent us up to let you know twenty minutes. You ready?” Regina was studying Kevin’s eyes. “You take your vitamins and your eye drops? He said he’d have coffee downstairs.”
“I made a pot of coffee,” I said.
“Girl, we gotta get on the bus,” Shavon said. “We can’t be late to no more concerts. You’re riding with us, right? Wait ’til everybody sees you.”
“I drove. I’ll meet you guys there.”
“Come on, Monnie. We haven’t seen you in forever. Hang out with us,” Tracey said.
Kevin came up behind me and put an arm around my waist. “Yeah. You can ride with us. We’ll bring you back to your car.”
“But I have my friends’ tickets. They won’t be able to get in.”
Kevin said, “I have five comp tickets for the front row. Their names are on the list.”
I looked down at my jeans and T-shirt. “I can’t wear t
his.”
Tracey looked me up and down. “I got something you can wear.”
I nodded. “Okay. I guess so.”
“I’ll be right back with the outfit.” Tracey darted toward the elevator.
Kevin smiled. “Cool. We’ll see you guys downstairs in a minute. I promise I won’t be late. Monica’s keeping me in line.”
Regina raised her eyebrows. “I bet she is. Go ’head, girl. Keep your man in line then.”
“There goes your mouth again. Come on here, girl.” Shavon grabbed Regina’s arm. “We’ll see you guys downstairs in a minute.”
46
When I stepped onto the bus behind Kevin, I heard my name being echoed all the way to the back.
“Oh my God, look at her . . . That ain’t Monica . . . She looks great . . . Is that really her? . . . Is she going with us? . . . She lives in Atlanta now?”
I received a million hugs as I made my way down the aisle. I didn’t know what Kevin told everybody when I left, but they seemed glad to see me. Except Janine. She scowled and gave me a fake hug and an air kiss. Skank ho was probably glad when I left and was probably planning her name change to Janine Day.
“Hey, Janine. It’s good to see you.” I gave her a big smile.
She pursed her lips. “Good to see you, too, Monica. Glad you lost some of that weight. You look much better.” She scrunched up her face like she smelled something bad. I kept walking by.
“Monnie Monnie Monnie Monn-ie, Monnnieee.” The horn section sang my name to the tune of the O’Jays “For the Love of Money.”
“What’s up, dawgs?” I hugged Tony, Eric, Raymond, and Jo Jo.
“Look at this foxy girl.” Aaron, the bass player, came up and kissed me on the cheek. “Kevin, man, you better keep your girl under lock and key. If you wasn’t standing right here, I might have tried to step to her.”
“Aaron, you better step off, man.” Kevin laughed.
We took our seats and the bus pulled off. Kevin squeezed my hand. “I’m glad you’re here.”
I smiled and squeezed his hand back. “Me too, Kevin.” He kissed me on the cheek and laid his head on my shoulder. It wasn’t two minutes before he was sleep.
When we pulled up at the Civic Center, I shook Kevin to try to wake him up. Ricky came over and stood him up. “Come on, dog. Show time.”
“I’m straight, man. I’m straight.” Kevin wiped his mouth. He gave me a sheepish smile. “Hey.”
“Hey. You okay?”
“Yeah. I’m straight.”
We followed everybody off the bus. I went in through the back entrance with them and then told Kevin, “I’m going to my seat. I’ll see you afterward.”
“Wait. Stay and have prayer with us.”
Every time I tried to leave, Kevin kept telling me to wait—right up until it was time for them to go onstage. When I got to my seat, Alaysia, Khalil, David, and his fiancée, Nakia, were already there. I figured Alaysia and Khalil had probably clued David and Nakia in on the fact that Kevin was my estranged husband because they all looked at me like they were trying to see if I was okay. I plopped in my seat beside Alaysia, but only for a second. When the band filed out onto the stage and started the music, it was on. I stayed on my feet for the rest of the evening.
I would never have guessed it was the same Kevin who couldn’t sit still without falling asleep. He was on fire. He led the whole arena into such a place of praise, I thought it was going to explode. Kevin sang, played the guitar, played the keyboards—he was all over the place. When he got it to a certain peak, he switched gears and moved into worship. The whole auditorium was filled with the thick, tangible presence of the Lord. People were weeping with their hands raised, clapping and expressing their worship in all different ways. After two straight hours of singing with only a couple of breaks for water, Kevin signaled the band to start up his signature song. I hoped this was the last one. Kevin had to be tired.
When they finished the last song, Kevin waved and jetted off the stage. The audience kept clapping and started yelling “Encore.” I wanted to scream and tell them to shut up. Kevin was too tired and didn’t need to come back. They kept yelling, and Kevin came back, carrying his acoustic guitar. He sat on a stool and strummed his guitar, playing the chords to my love song. My heart jumped.
Kevin pulled the microphone closer to him. “This is my favorite song on the album. I’m gonna do something special for you, Atlanta. This is a song I wrote for the love of my life.” He strummed his guitar. “This is the first time I’m performing this anywhere but in the studio. This is for Monica.” He started singing, and I felt like I was the only person in the whole auditorium.
Alaysia passed me some tissue to wipe the tears coursing down my face. Kevin winked and blew me a kiss before he left the stage.
I was no more good.
47
We went out to IHOP afterward. The choir packed into booths, and Kevin and I, Alaysia and Khalil, and David and Nakia sat at a table in the back.
“Kevin Day. Man, it’s good to meet you.” David’s face had to be tired from smiling.
Kevin said, “Man, I hear you can put it down too. We gotta hang out when I come back to visit so I can hear some of your stuff. Monica tells me you’re a serious worshipper.”
David looked at me then back at Kevin. “I’m just trying to please God, man. Just trying to please God.” They gave each other pounds.
“Alaysia, I’m glad I get a chance to thank you in person for what you’ve done for Monica. I still can’t believe it’s her,” Kevin said.
“She did all the work. You should see her at the gym. She’s relentless,” Alaysia said.
Kevin leaned over and kissed my cheek. “I can’t wait to come back and see that.”
Alaysia watched Kevin’s every move, breaking her stare only to watch me. I smiled and winked to let her know I was okay. She smiled back, but I could tell she wanted to know what was going on.
Kevin turned to Khalil. “Yo, man, Monica tells me you’re quite the Bible scholar. I gotta hear some of the stuff you’ve been teaching her. Sounds like a whole different Bible from the one I’ve been reading.”
“I hope that’s a good thing.” Khalil frowned.
“It is a good thing,” Kevin said. “She’s all excited about the Word. More than I’ve ever seen.”
The waitress came and took our order.
I said, “Nakia, it’s good to finally meet you. Are you back in town for good?”
“I wish. I live and work in Charlotte, so I can only come visit on weekends. I’m believing God for a good job here in Atlanta, so I can be with my sweetie.” Nakia kissed David’s cheek. She was cute. One of those petite girls with the fly short haircuts, perfect skin and sassy smile that I used to hate so much in the throes of my fat girl syndrome.
“How did you guys meet?” I was glad to be delivered from my skinny girl hateration. Nakia seemed nice, and I looked forward to getting to know her. She was one of those people you felt like you were close friends with within five minutes of meeting them.
“David and I met almost four years ago at church. I fell in love with him the first time I heard him lead praise and worship, but I was trying to be a virtuous woman and let my husband find me instead of me going after him. Everybody was loving praise and worship, but it was painful for me ’cause I was lovin’ me some David Harper and he was playing the “just friends” game. I ain’t one of those musician groupies. Something about seeing a man functioning under the anointing does something to me, especially a worshipper with a heart after God. It was too much for Nakia.” Nakia fanned herself and leaned toward me. “Girl, I know you know what I’m talking about if nobody else does.”
I smiled and glanced at Kevin. “I feel you, girl.”
Nakia continued, “When I found out my job was transferring me, I figured David wasn’t God’s choice for me, so I decided that moving to Charlotte was the best way to get him out of my system. After my going away party by the singles’ ministry,
two days before I was leaving, brotha decides to profess his undying love for me. Says he was shy, but God spoke to him when we first met and said I was supposed to be his wife. He was waiting for the right moment and figured since I was leaving, he better make his move. We didn’t start our relationship until I was living three hours away.”
Everybody laughed.
“Better late than never.” David squeezed Nakia’s hand. “I’m telling you, babe, God knew what He was doing. My moms named me right. Yeah, I’m David the worshipper, but I also have some of my namesake’s other characteristics. God wanted to honor your desire to be a virtuous woman, so He knew I needed to court you from a different city.”
“Court? David, you so old.” Nakia laughed.
I really liked them together and said a silent prayer for God to open up an opportunity for Nakia in Atlanta soon.
“Kevin, how long have you had your Triton?” David asked.
“Monnie bought it for my birthday a couple of years ago. Best keyboard I ever played. I love it. You got a Triton?”
“Man, I wish. I’m trying to be like you when I grow up. I have a Trinity. Maybe Nakia will get me one for our wedding gift.”
“I ain’t buying you no wedding gift.” Nakia held her arms out and winked. “I am your wedding gift, baby.”
“See, that right there is what I’m talking ’bout,” David said. “You don’t need to live in Atlanta until the wedding day. Just drive from Charlotte in time to say I do.”
Everybody laughed. We talked over pancakes and omelets for about an hour, then Kevin started nodding off.
Ricky came over to our table. “A’ight chief. Time to get you back to the hotel. We gotta do this all over again tomorrow night.”
Kevin said his goodbyes to everyone and exchanged numbers with David. “Yo, man, maybe you can come up to D.C. some time soon and hang out with me in the studio.”
David’s smile looked like it was going to crack his face. “That sounds great, man. Just let me know when.”
Kevin grabbed my hand. “Ready?”
I nodded. Alaysia gave me a questioning look. “My car ’s back at the hotel. I’ll be home in a little bit.”
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