“Fine.” Ben gave him a look over the top of his glasses that told him he was not fine, and Ryan rolled his eyes. He sat on the other side of Rachel, hoping the tiny bit of distance would allow him to act like a normal human being.
Rachel gave him a smirk as if she knew what he was doing, glancing between him and Marcus, and in the awkward silence that had fallen over them said, “So, how’s your summer been?”
Ben was trying to act casual, and almost certainly failing. He wasn’t sure what Marcus was doing, because he couldn’t even stand to look at him. Rachel, on the other hand, looked like she was having a grand time. They were in the shade, but she leaned back on her elbows as if soaking up the sun, watching Ben for a reaction. Her hair was bright purple today, and it went well with her retro-looking swimsuit. She had great style. Ben thought about looking her up and down, wondering if that was what she expected, and found that he couldn’t do it.
“Fine. Just hanging out and stuff.” Ben was relieved that his voice didn’t crack.
Rachel smirked at him again, but from the other side of the blanket, Marcus caught his eye and gave him a small smile. Ben felt his face heat and was thankful yet again for the sunglasses firmly on his face. He gave Marcus a strained smile in return before looking down at his hands. Someone (probably Rachel) snorted, and there was a whispered word or two. They were probably regretting asking him to join them. God, he was terrible at this. Where the hell did Ryan go?
An icy can was suddenly pressed to the back of his neck, making him jump.
“Shit!” Ben swatted behind him, not connecting with any part of Ryan and almost falling over. “You asshole!”
Ryan’s unmistakable cackle had Rachel laughing outright and Marcus chuckling a bit. Ben righted himself and glared up at Ryan, barely getting his hands up to catch the can that was tossed at him. Ryan threw himself down, wedging himself in so that Ben had to scoot closer to Marcus. “Aren’t you supposed to be some sort of, I don’t know, athlete or something?”
“I hate you.”
Rachel snorted again, covering her mouth with her hand, eyes shining at their ridiculousness. Ben knew what Ryan was doing, and it was working. He caught Marcus still looking at them with an unreadable expression on his face, and bravely gave him an actual smile. Marcus returned it for a second before turning away, and Ben felt absurdly proud of himself. He’d made eye contact without spontaneously combusting.
He was starting to think that Ryan dragging him along to this thing wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
HOW HE’D MANAGED to forget that pool parties actually involved an actual pool and actual swimming was beyond him.
They’d been sitting on the blanket in the shade with Ryan and Rachel dominating the conversation for the most part as the two argued the finer points of a series of books versus the TV show based on it. Ben and Marcus added in opinions, but Ben found himself talking more and more to Marcus, tuning out what the other two were saying. It was a little stilted at first, mostly on his side, but it was good. Marcus was pretty funny once he got going. It took them both a few moments to realize Ryan and Rachel were looking at them curiously, Rachel quirking an eyebrow over her oversized sunglasses.
“What?” Ben was glad he wasn’t the only one who hadn’t been paying attention. Marcus looked just as startled as Ben felt.
“We’re going to get in for a little while, you two coming with?” Rachel was looking at both of them expectantly, a knowing look on her face. “Or are you staying here?”
“Um.” That was from Marcus. He shrugged and stood. “Might as well, right?” Ben pushed his sunglasses up on top of his head to squint up at him at the same moment Marcus tugged off his T-shirt. All of Ben’s earlier pride over not bursting into flames in the shade went right out the window.
What he felt was a crush. A simple crush. Nothing serious. Really.
What was happening at that moment, on the other hand, was very serious.
Locker rooms had made him immune to the sight of bare skin a long time ago. The difference was, he’d never memorized the curve of the jawline of any of those guys while daydreaming in class. Or their dark eyes. Or the way they bit their lip in concentration while writing notes.
It was almost too much.
Ben pried his eyes away from the sight of Marcus’s bare chest and looked over to Ryan, pleading and helpless. Making a gesture with the hem of his own T-shirt, Ryan pulled it off and tossed it at Ben’s face, giving him a moment to get his shit together. He automatically caught Ryan’s shirt and dropped it onto the blanket. Rachel grabbed Marcus’s arm and dragged him toward the pool, giving them a bright grin over her shoulder as they went.
Marcus’s shoulders looked broader without a shirt. He always seemed so lean with his skinny jeans and boots, but now Ben could see he was actually strong and sturdy. Ben blinked and looked away when a shadow fell over him.
“Dude.”
Ben struggled to his feet and tugged off his shirt. “Shut up.” When Ryan pointed at the top of his head, he yanked his sunglasses off as well. “Why did I let you talk me into this?”
“Calm down.” Ryan stepped closer, and Ben took an automatic step back, not wanting anyone to get the wrong idea. “Ben?”
“I thought we were getting in.” Ben pushed past him and walked quickly to the edge of the pool. He caught a glimpse of Rachel and Marcus splashing each other a few feet away as he eased himself in. Luckily, the shock of cold washed away any lasting emotional upheaval from seeing the smooth lines of Marcus’s back, the freckles scattered over the width of his shoulders and— Ben closed his eyes and ducked under the water. Better. Everyone around him was blurry and distant. He wanted to stay there forever. That would be so much easier.
He rose to the surface with a gasp and raked his hair out of his face. He blinked the water out of his eyes just in time to see Marcus turning away and Rachel looking over at him with a wicked grin. Ben flushed and sank back down into the water until it was up to his shoulders, feeling a little self-conscious. At least there were plenty of people playing around in the pool to take the attention off him.
A splash caught him right in the face. Ben sputtered and stood, looking around for whoever had done it, though he had a good idea. Sure enough, he turned just in time to see Ryan send another wave his way. Ryan snickered and dove away from Ben as he tried to retaliate by pushing him under the water. He finally caught him, and they wrestled, Ben eventually winning and holding Ryan under until he tapped out.
Ryan came up looking like a waterlogged puppy, and Ben started laughing, harder than he had in a while. “That is totally not fair! When the hell did you get so freaking strong?”
Ben shrugged, giving him a wide smile. “I work out. You should try it.” He heard a strangled noise behind him and spun around just in time to see Marcus dive under the water while Rachel laughed at something. She looked past Ben at Ryan, and the two of them had some sort of silent conversation, which was really odd because Ryan never did that with anyone but him. Ben felt a tiny stab of jealousy run through him—there and gone again in the flash—that left him feeling a little weird.
He headed toward the side of the pool and heaved himself out, feeling suddenly tired. The blanket was rumpled from their hasty exit, and he straightened it out before grabbing a towel. Tyler’s parents must have been used to having large groups of people over, because there were small stacks of towels set around for guests to use. He pulled his shirt back on over his damp skin and sat down on the blanket, his arms folded over his drawn up knees. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, zoning out, before someone came over. To his surprise, it was Marcus.
Marcus didn’t bother drying off, just flopped down on the blanket and stretched out in the patch of sun that had crept into their shady spot. Ben automatically averted his eyes so he wouldn’t be tempted to stare. He glanced up to check where Ryan was and found him in the deep end of the pool, treading water. Rachel was nearby, her purple hair a beacon. The two seemed to be in
deep conversation. As Ben watched, both of them glanced his way and waved, their smirks almost identical. It was more than a little concerning.
“Hey.” Marcus moved around next to him, obviously getting comfortable.
“Hi.” Ben uncurled and lay back, making sure not to touch Marcus anywhere, not sure if he’d be able to stand it. He groped for his sunglasses, finding refuge again in his mask, and leaned back on his elbows.
“So, what else do you like to do? I mean, besides hockey.”
Ben let out a startled laugh. “I don’t know. I’m pretty boring.”
“Nah.” Marcus’s eyes were closed, but he had a smile on his face. “I’m sure there’s something.”
“I like movies, I guess. My favorites are the ones about history and stuff. But I like some of the ones that Ryan makes me watch.”
Marcus nodded, eyes still closed. Ben took the opportunity to sneak another look. He let his gaze drift across the bare skin of Marcus’s chest as it rose and fell with his breathing and then to his stomach before he skimmed down to just above his inexplicably neon pink swim trunks. A trail of golden hair led down to the waistband pointing toward— Ben jerked his eyes away, face burning.
“So what kind of movies do you guys watch?” Marcus was continuing the conversation, completely oblivious to Ben’s examination. Ben cleared his throat and eyed the water, wondering how weird it would be if he flung himself into it again. He sighed.
“Usually action stuff. Ryan’s obsessed with superheroes.” He carefully kept his eyes on the people in the pool, watching Ryan talking to Rachel. Still. Interesting. She was cute and snarky, kind of like Ryan. They’d moved to the shallow end and were leaning against the edge, letting their legs float in the water. It looked like they were going to be there for a while.
“Me too.”
An easy silence settled between them. They lay there side by side, enjoying the day. Ben finally started to relax, regardless of not knowing if he wanted Marcus to put his shirt back on or not. He finally settled all the way back, mirroring Marcus, and smiled to himself. He could leave it off.
“YOU GOOD?” BEN’S dad was peering through the driver’s side window at him and looked as tired as Ben felt. For entirely different reasons— Ben’s head hadn’t stopped buzzing since Marcus and the pool party the weekend before.
Ben hoisted his equipment bag onto his shoulder and took a step back from the car. “Yeah. Two hours?”
His dad nodded, and Ben raised a hand in a wave as he pulled away.
The ice rink opened at six a.m., and he was ten minutes early. It was still cool out, making him glad of the hoodie he’d pulled on in preparation for the chill of the rink. Ben dropped his bag and leaned his stick against the low wall near the entrance and settled in to wait.
He was playing a game on his phone and trying to stay awake when he heard the door open.
“Ready for you, Ben.” It was Brenda who owned the rink. She’d let him in and then go catch up on paperwork. He’d be alone for a while until a few more early risers showed up to practice. Sometimes, a few of the guys would join him, but it was usually a crapshoot. Especially this late in the summer. His appreciation for keeping up a routine wasn’t a widely shared sentiment. He found that he couldn’t stay away.
Ben liked having the ice to himself. It was a rare thing after school started and everyone was competing for the morning slots, so he took advantage while he could. He finished tying his skates and stood.
The first step onto the ice was his favorite. It was just a clean sheet in front of him, unmarked by anyone else. It helped him think. Ben started off slow, taking a few laps to warm up before he put on the speed, racing around the rink a few times before stopping with a shower of snow. It helped clear his mind.
He needed that. His mind was full of Marcus in a way he’d been able to avoid previously. It was one thing when he was this person Ben looked at across the lunchroom or passed in the hallway, but in the last few days, Marcus had become a person Ben liked even more than before. Seeing him wet and shirtless might have helped. A little. Or a lot.
Ben made his way over to where he’d left his bag and stick and dug out his gloves and a puck. He tossed the puck out onto the ice and followed it, moving it across the surface, slowly at first and then with speed, carrying it with him back and forth as he moved.
Marcus had a mole on his left shoulder blade; it stood out against his pale skin.
The puck slipped away, and Ben barely caught it before it went skittering out of reach. That was embarrassing, and he was glad no one else was there. He needed to get his head back in the game. He started over, moving slowly and then picking up speed.
Marcus also had an appendix scar, the only flaw on his flat stomach.
Ben sent the puck careening against the boards with a bang before leaning over with his stick on his knees to catch his breath. What the hell was wrong with him? They’d spoken, had an actual conversation. Big freaking deal. It meant nothing.
He skated over to where he’d sent the puck flying and started over.
He’d managed about half an hour before the bang of a door announced the arrival of more skaters. They pretty much left each other alone, but the distraction helped to pull him out of his head and away from thoughts of Marcus and his bright pink swim trunks.
Chapter Five
“I’M GOING TO the grocery store, you want anything?” Ben’s mom called up the stairs to him and Beth, but there was only silence from Beth’s side of the hallway. Either she had her headphones on or she was ignoring the question because she didn’t want to get roped into going. Ben liked going to the store. He liked being able to pick out his own food, not that he actually cooked or anything, but it was nice having input.
“You want me to go with?” he shouted while trying to find his shoes. Somehow one of them had managed to worm its way under his bed, and he practically stood on his head to get to it. He got up and looked down at himself. It wasn’t his rattiest pair of shorts, but it was close. He wondered if he should change but shrugged to himself. It was only the grocery store. He’d worry about what he looked like when school started.
“If you want.” His mom’s voice floated up the stairs. “I’m leaving now.”
Ben stuffed his feet in his shoes, laces flopping, and trotted down the stairs. He started to go out the front door but then turned and went to the kitchen to grab the bags his mom always seemed to forget. He wasn’t that concerned with saving the planet, but they were a lot easier to carry than the plastic ones.
“Thanks.” She smiled at him as he tossed them onto the floorboard. “I always forget those damn things.”
Ben rolled his eyes and folded himself up to tie his shoes. “I know. It’s a good thing I’m here, huh?”
“Yeah, yeah. You just want to be in charge of picking out apples.”
Ben laughed. “You got me.”
IT WAS THE flash of red that caught his attention at the end of the cookie aisle. Ben had avoided the aisle at first but circled back to pick up the chocolate chunk cookies his dad liked. He was supposed to be grabbing the milk. He looked up, cookies in hand, and ducked around the end of the aisle. Marcus. It was the first time he’d seen him since the pool party, which made sense because it had only been about a day and a half, and Ben never saw him outside of school.
He needed to move or Marcus was going to see him. Which was ridiculous, because why was he hiding? Ben glared at the cookies in his hand as if they would tell him the answer. He should just go say hi. Casually. He could do casual. He peeked around the corner and drank in the sight of Marcus standing under the fluorescent lights. He should just go talk to him.
His brain helpfully slotted in the memory of Marcus in the pool, Marcus lying on the blanket in the shade, Marcus… Ben ducked back out of sight, closing his eyes tight. This was stupid. His phone pinged, and he glanced at it to see a series of ??????? from his mom. Milk. He needed to get milk.
“Ben?”
He tigh
tened the grip on his phone to keep from dropping it. Marcus’s grin was unsure enough that it somehow made Ben feel a bit more confident. They were on equal footing, at least.
“Hey.” He waggled his phone at Marcus. “Mom wants me to get milk.”
“To go with the cookies?”
“Um.”
Ben looked at the pack in his hand as if he’d never seen it before. Marcus stepped closer to get a better look, and Ben was painfully aware of how close they were to each other. Marcus nudged him with his elbow and grinned. Despite the thrill that zipped through him at the contact, Marcus’s small smile put him at ease. He relaxed a little bit more.
“Those are good. My favorite are shortbread.” He stepped farther into the aisle and Ben followed him, curious. Marcus picked up a familiar red plaid packet. “These. They’re what I was getting, anyway.”
“You need milk?” Ben winced at the awkwardness of the question, but he was committed now. “Mom’s waiting for me.” His phone pinged again. “See?”
Marcus laughed. “Sure. Why not?” They walked toward the dairy aisle in companionable silence. It was kind of nice, if Ben didn’t look at it too closely.
“So, what are you up to?” Ben hoped that didn’t come off as weird. He wasn’t freaking out, but he might if his mom decided to come and find out what was taking him so long.
“A whole lot of nothing.” Marcus grabbed a small jug of milk and then, grinning at Ben, grabbed a bottle of chocolate milk as well. “Unless you count catching up on TV shows.”
“That totally counts.” Ben tucked the cookie pack under his arm and picked up his own choices, flushing a little as he made sure to look at the expiration dates.
“Are you training yet?”
The question took him by surprise, but Marcus seemed genuinely interested.
“Some. Ice time, gym, trying not to sweat to death. The usual.” They started toward the front of the store, and Ben wondered how he was going to manage to distract his mom if Marcus followed him to the cash register. “Practice doesn’t really start until after tryouts, but I have to work out hard now, to keep up later.”
Skating Through Page 5