by Krissy V
I look up into Cross’s eyes to see them glassy… the truth staring back at me. Slasher isn’t lying.
I watch as Kate falls to her knees, pain etched over her features. The scream she cries pierces the air with such force that everyone can feel the raw pain that’s ripping her apart. I see men, the hardest men I know fall to their knees and cry for their President, and his son. Other eyes are wide in shock, and all the women have tears falling down their faces.
I break free of his grip, and there in the middle of the chaos, I feel something break… tear me wide open. I’m no longer the young girl I was only moments ago… this is a game-changer.
I hear the scream, feel the coldness of the floor beneath me. It feels like someone has cracked my rib cage open, tearing out my beating heart. The pain consumes me and takes over everything. I feel two thick arms around me as if holding me together, but it’s too late … I’m broken.
Chapter Seven
I watch as the two coffins are lowered into the ground. It’s hard to believe that my best friend is in that box. I’ll never see that cocky smirk, ride on the back of his bike again. I can never tell him I love him, explain this soul-crushing, heart destroying love for him.
Cries fill the air, but Kate sits quietly like me, as still as stone, as if her heart has been buried right alongside them. There’s no mirth in her eyes, no smirk playing at her lips. She aged several years in the last few days. Her eyes catch mine as tears fill them, and I lower my head. I study the blades of grass as the preacher talks about Beast and Cub… the life they’ve had. He tells a few jokes that make some of the brother’s lips twitch. Every story about Beau, I know because I was there. There isn’t a memory where he doesn’t feature... it was us against the world.
Best friends, ride or die.
I close my eyes, touching my lips, my first and last kiss belongs to him. Licking my lips, I try to taste him, remembering how his tongue stroked mine, the way his fingers dug into my hair. It was meant to be the beginning- not the end! This isn’t how it goes. He should be here with that look in his eyes that makes my whole-body burn. Instead, I’m cold, I feel it to my very bones as if I’ll never be warm again.
I feel a heavy hand on my shoulder, and look up to see Cross. His eyes are filled with so much worry… he hasn’t let me out of his sight since they had to sedate me after the news. I want to reach out to tell him I’m okay, but I can’t. Instead, I turn my head back to the fresh dirt. Everyone else seems to be leaving, but I can’t move. I can’t leave Beau here, alone.
When I feel someone coming to sit next to me, I cringe, wanting them to go, leave me alone. A cold hand covers mine.
“I don’t understand any of this.” Kate’s words echo my own thoughts. Beast wasn’t stupid neither was Cub… why didn’t they smell the smoke? Feel the heat of the fire? Why didn’t they get out?
“Why didn’t they get out?” I turn to face her, my words a mere whisper. Her skin is paler than I’ve ever seen it, and there are lines around her eyes that weren’t there before. But it's the look in her eyes that’s the scariest as if her soul’s no longer there. She’s just an empty vessel.
“Beast loves our kid more than anything in the world, he would have got him out.” There is complete and utter conviction in her voice. I nod because she’s right… the Beast we all knew would have walked through fire to make sure Beau was okay.
We stand, and she brings me into a tight hug. “My gut is telling me there's more to this… why my husband and son are lying in the ground.”
My eyes widen. I don’t dare react, knowing we have eyes on us.
“Take care, Baby Girl.”
Her eyes say more than her words ever can.
When we get back to the club, there are brothers everywhere. Outside they drink around barrels of fire, and the sickly smell of weed hangs heavy in the air. There’s no banter, no friendly back slaps. Everyone seems lost… running like wild men. Our compass is spinning with no direction. These men are more than brothers, bound to the club by blood and sweat. The scar running across their left hand… the oath they swore… it made them more.
Some of the men lift their chin in respect to Kate, she is Beast’s O’lady and death doesn’t change that. They will make sure she is looked after. The music pumps out of the building, old rock songs, and the smell of leather and whiskey assaults us.
A sadness hangs in the air as if a blanket of darkness surrounds us. Cross lifts his head, nodding towards us, as so do a few older brothers. Horse crosses the room to me, bringing me into a big hug and squeezing me tight. “Sorry Baby Girl.”
My whole body shudders in his arms, as I look up to his eyes as glassy as my own, my lips quiver and I bite hard to stop all the words pouring out, all the anger, the fear brewing inside me.
Suddenly I’m pushed behind his back, and I turn to see that Cross has done the same with Kate, his gun raised. A low growl echoes the walls. I look around Horse to see The Lost Souls walking in through the door, smirks tilting their lips. My fingers dig into his leather, as I see the guy from the night of the concert, his eyes landing directly on me, making his lips grow. Slasher walks into the room. “Put your guns down.”
No one moves.
“Put your guns down! Are you going to disrespect your President?” There's a collective gasp. My eyes find Kate’s which are narrowed, and I watch Cross grip onto her wrist as if trying to keep her still. Wasn’t there meant to be a vote?
The guns are lowered one by one, but none are put away. Horse is tense, muscles bunched like an animal, primed and ready to attack.
“What are the Lords doing here?” I think it's Rags that speaks. The venom in his voice is as poisonous as the deadliest snake, and a collective grunt of agreement follows.
Slasher grins. “We’re joining the clubs together. Beast was already working out a truce between us.”
“That’s shit, Beast hated the fuckers! Did you know they threated to rape Baby Girl?” This comes from Swan. Horse tenses as all eyes in the club turn to me.
Slasher doesn’t miss a beat. “It was all just banter. And Cub got his payback.” A few of the Lord’s eyes can’t hide their humour - as if Slasher is saying the funniest thing ever. My stomach tightens as the hair on the back of my neck stands on end, a cold shiver travelling right through me. My gut screams to run.
“So, you're merging the two clubs?” I think it's Dino that speaks.
Slasher nods. “Yes, and anyone that's got a problem, drop your cuts and leave.” I suck in a sharp breath. Leave? This place is home to most of them, they don’t have any other place to go. No family to fall back on. The club is their home, their family, and means everything to them. Strip them of their club, and you take away the man. It’s not just a piece of leather, it’s what it means to wear it, what the club means, the brothers. It’s sacred.
A few of the brothers stand forward, “You'll have to take it off my dead body.”
Cross catches my eyes.
Sorry, Baby Girl,
I plead with my eyes.
No, please.
I can feel something in the air, the danger it's too close. He howls, and the Hell beasts howl back. The sound of loyalty.
A smile tips his lips.
See you later
I don’t feel the tears run down my cheek, as I try to smile, be brave,
In a while.
Five pops fly through the air, and I feel a wetness on my face. I wipe it away to see my fingertips smudged in red. I stop breathing as my eyes travel to see some of the brothers on the floor, blood pooling around them, then my eyes flick to a body. My lips open in a silent scream as I look into Cross’s lifeless eyes, the bright blue already starting to dissipate. A rough hand grabs my arm, pulling me from Horse’s hold.
Snapping me out of my trance I look up into muddy brown eyes, the man from the other night staring down at me.
“Hello, Baby Girl.” It’s those three words, thirteen letters that end my life as I know it.
&nbs
p; They slowly destroy me from the inside out. The darkness in his eyes drowns the club over the next few years. I watch the men I love executed, for staying true. Now, only a handful of true Hells remain. I watch as they break Kate, take her from being a queen to nothing, as they spit on her, make her a puppet and laugh as they pull her strings. The club I once loved, felt safe and secure in has now become our nightmare. A prison we cannot escape, a torture chamber for our mind and body.
They take us to the brink until we smile as the grim reaper reaches out his bony hand, only to rip us back to reality, bringing us back to a fresh hell.
Chapter Eight
My face swings to the side, as he backhands me. Pain shoots through my cheekbone. The skin under my eye bursts open. Blood trickles down my face like tears. You would think your body would build up some resistance to pain… but it doesn’t.
Like the drugs they’ve pumped us with, I screamed, fought back as they first tried to inject me. But soon you crave them, can’t live without them. You need more. Chasing that same high as when the first needle broke your skin. The euphoria that drowned you… took you away from the brutal reality that now surrounds us. Same with drinking. The first few times I tasted it with Cub, it left us with a soppy grin and glassy eyes. Now I reach the end of the whiskey bottle, and it still doesn't numb the way my body itches from their touch. How my skin crawls from the things they’ve done, it doesn’t quieten the demons that live in my head. The constant battle between surviving and to lay down and die.
I can’t deny I love the burn of the whiskey, hoping it will scorch all the ugliness away.
But his punches? My body has never gotten used to them. Every strike still causes the same red-hot pain. Bones still crack under his force; blood still seeps from my veins like rivers of tears.
My body still aches for days, down to the very bone. Purple, green and yellow bruises still cover my skin.
Slasher doesn’t stop the things his men do; he watches from a throne he never deserved. He smiles at the mayhem and allows it to happen.
The hits keep coming, for crimes I’ve no idea I committed. All the pain meshes, a groan falls from my lips involuntarily… as if all the hurt needs an outlet. I squint through swollen eyes to see him and his friends smiling down at me. Admiring their handy work. His dull brown eyes are alive with excitement from the pain he’s inflicting- seeing my body broken and bruised.
One day, I’ll escape it all. One day I’ll be free.
He pulls me up by my hair, causing another moan to leave my lips… showing me to the men in the room as if I am his trophy, so they can see his handy work… admire the way the blood drips down my breasts, across my stomach. The light shows my scars new and old. His marks.
Some place their hands over their dicks- stroking themselves with a look of hunger in their eyes. Others grit their jaw, turning their eyes away. True Hells. Their fingers itch to stop it, but it will cost them their lives, and they know we need them alive.
“Who wants her?” Joker laughs, the same man from the night of the concert four years ago. I watch Lewis- once Cub’s bodyguard, standing in the dark corner. Beast trusted him with Cubs life. His lips turn up slightly, and he cheers with the rest of them. Playing the part.
Kate steps forward only to get backhanded to the floor by Rabbit - another Lord. Joker laughs as Rabbit and Mercy step forward- these are two of the worst brothers. The Rabbit got his name because he fucks like a rabbit - can go on and on, and Mercy because he loves torturing women until they are bloody and screaming for mercy underneath him. These are the sickest bastards in the club.
I see Horse stand, he helps me anyway he can, bringing me pain medicine, helping clean my wounds. He’s the last piece of Cub left in the club. “Leave Baby Girl alone. She’s not a whore.”
I shake my head for two reasons. He’s wrong so fucking wrong. Joker has made me a whore, he tore my innocence away, ripped the scream he promised from my throat as he took me, repeatedly. Blood ran down my legs as he took me in every way he could. Then he fed my scraps to the wolves - watched as tears fell from my eyes as I choked on their dicks. Screamed as they bit me, marked me- drew blood and left scars. Second, the pain that nickname brings, no one calls me Baby Girl anymore… it died under Slasher’s reign just like everything else in the club.
I couldn’t bear to hear it now. Couldn’t he see that? The same pain reflects in his eyes that reflect in mine. The jagged pieces of my soul were scattered amongst the filth of the place.
To survive, I had to forget, had to bury that day, so far down that it wasn’t real. The same day that darkness fell on the club, the day that lives were lost, blood spilt and claimed the lives of my best friend and his father-our President. And if I’m right, the man that spilt their blood, betrayed their club, broke all the rules... was Slasher. Beast’s brother and Cub’s uncle. He brought our biggest enemies into the club and made us one. Only we were like oil and water… never to mix.
They tore the honour from our club, took us to a war we never belonged to. Slasher stood in the middle, coated in Hells blood, drenched in treachery. Never kill a member without a vote
The only time a member is killed is if they are a rat or turn on the club. It’s used as a last resort, and Beast and Cub were neither.
A sinister laugh snaps me out of my thoughts, to see Horse on his knees, held down by his shoulders. His eyes meet mine. His stone-cold stare that makes grown men piss themselves, soften the way they do when they land on me. Pure love shining through, a warmth I haven't felt in years now surrounds me.
Run Baby Girl, it's over. The club is dead. Run and never look fucking back.
Slasher walks over to him, pulling his hair, jerking Horse’s head backwards, taking his eyes away. Instantly a deep coldness fills me, something is muttered, and Horse grins before he howls, the hounds of hell our true call… proving even on his knees, his loyalty is true to the rightful heir, our President Beast. None return the call knowing full well that reply means instant death. A smirk pulls at his face, it's not the one I’ve grown up with, but it’s full of dark menace.
“I will be waiting for you in hell.”
He whispers, his voice echoing around the club walls.
Slasher raises his hand, running a gleaming blade across Horses skin. A red line appears instantly as the small line breaks into a river of red- blood.
A blood-soaked gurgle comes from his throat before Slasher releases his hair with a jerk sending his body falling to the floor. A dark red pool quickly surrounds him
Fucking run, Baby Girl!
I nod as if I can still hear his voice as I watch the men cheer and shout in celebration. Killing Horse, they’ve taken away the last of my senses, the gravity that holds me tight. Killed the last of my humanity.
And I’m jealous of them, so fucking jealous. I want to be the one dancing in blood, wanting it to cover my body. I need to bathe in its red liquid, taste it’s sweetness, lick it off my fingers. I want to inflict every inch of pain they’ve caused me right back at them. I want to hear their screams, lick at their salty tears, nuzzle into their bloody bodies until I’m covered in their blood.
Rip out their throats.
Chapter Nine
Horses words suffocate me, all I can hear is his voice whispering in my ear, to leave… getaway. His ghost haunts me, day and night. His blood stains the floor. Lifeless eyes forever etched in my mind.
I jump when Kate walks in the room, nothing like the woman I once knew, her features are now hard, all softness gone; eyes as harsh as any of the men. Dressed in a short dress, she’s now how Slasher likes his woman. He’s made Kate one of his many, taken her in front of the brothers to show not only he’d claimed Beast’s club but also his queen.
“You're thinking about leaving.”
I gasp at her hoarse voice, no softness, a hard bite. I shut the door, knowing only too well what will happen if they think I’m going to run. I’d tried it once, they kept me tied to the bed for a week with only s
ips of water to sustain me. Lords came in each day to take what they wanted. From slicing my skin to tag-teaming.
“Shhh.” I want to grab her, shake her, bring the Kate I know back to me. She’s closed off to protect herself, just like I did. The girl that stares back at me in the mirror isn’t someone I know. The woman I’ve become is twisted and screwed. A junkie and a whore. No innocence left, no soul just emptiness and anger that rages around inside. Every object is a weapon I can use. Every daydream is about being drenched in their blood. Every thought is about slitting their throats and smiling as rivers of ruby flow from them. A storm rages inside of me, building, searching for an outlet, a way to break free. I no longer hide the demons inside of me, but keep them on a tight leash and let them see the faces of the men I want to destroy.
“You’re our only hope, get out, find help.” Her words surprise me. I start to shake my head when she grabs me by the shoulders.
“We are dying one by one; they are killing us.” A small glimpse of the old Kate returns.
“How can I escape Joker? He’s around me all the time!” I spit out the words.
The softness in her eye’s fades, as the man himself, walks into the room.
“What the fuck are you doing in here?” He backhands Kate, sending her to her knees, blood covering her teeth from the hit, and a few droplets land on the floor.
“Lick it up, bitch.” He smirks as they have a stare-off, and when she doesn’t move, he pulls out his gun, shoving it to her temple.
“Are you fucking deaf?”
She shakes her head, her whole body trembling as she licks up her blood that’s covering the floor. Joker throws back his head and laughs. My fingers twitch to grab the gun, to blow a fucking hole in his empty chest. Maybe fuck him with his own gun first. See how the bastard likes it.
Kate's eyes meet mine, and I nod. I will kill him and escape. Her own lips lift into a smirk that matches my own.