Emma gave another handful of grapes to the girls and washed her hands, breathing a tiny sigh of relief that this nightmare would be over soon. She dried her hands on a towel and slowly turned to face him. Stephen ducked his head, and looked up at her with an odd expression of appeal on his face.
“The fact is, Emma, I was hoping you could help me out a bit.”
“Help you out?”
“I’ve run into a few legal troubles of my own.” He laughed, moving closer. “Well, not actually legal, but having to do with money.”
“Money.”
“Don’t sound so withering. To those of us without enough, it’s pretty important stuff.”
“What about your job?”
“Don’t have it anymore,” he said curtly. “Got blamed for someone else’s mess.”
Emma stared at him. He’d told her he was the office darling, the rising star. She’d naively believed him. Not that it mattered. “You’re asking me for money.”
He had the grace to blush. “Just a loan to tide me over.”
She averted her gaze, knowing in her bones he’d never pay her back. And something told her that if she gave him anything, he’d be back for more. Again and again. Boy, I can really pick ‘em, can’t I? Way to go, Emma.
She looked at him, trying to ignore the pounding of her heart. Things were about to become much more unpleasant. Travis’s face rose before her eyes. A sudden longing for him made her grip the counter for support. “I’m sorry, but I can’t give you any money.”
“I said it’s a loan,” he snapped.
“It doesn’t matter, the answer is the same.”
His handsome face twisted. “You stand there like butter couldn’t melt in your mouth, sitting on more money than you’ll need in your lifetime.”
Emma caught her breath at the cruel tone. She flicked a glance at the twins, suddenly worried for their safety. “It’s time for you to go.”
Stephen grabbed her upper arms. “Not unless I leave with some cash, Emma.”
She froze, terrified at the glazed look in his eyes. A strange menace seemed to emanate from him. One of the girls sent up a thin wail as if sensing it, too. They crawled down from the bench and made their way to her.
“Let go of me,” she whispered.
Sweat broke out on his brow. His grip bit into her flesh. “I’m desperate.”
She cried out in pain, trying to wrench her arms free, but his strength was immovable. Now both twins cried in earnest, hanging onto her legs. Emma knew they were as terrified as she.
The doorbell rang.
“Ignore it.” Stephen’s gaze brooked no argument.
The doorbell rang again. The girls cried louder. Emma held her breath, praying it was Travis.
“Emma!”
She went limp at the sound of Travis’s voice. The front door opened. Stephen dropped his hands and swiveled around. Emma couldn’t see around him, and shame made her want to shrink behind him. She heard Travis’s footsteps cross the room and held her breath.
“What’s going on, Emma? I heard the girls crying when I was at the door.” He stopped, obviously seeing Stephen for the first time. “Who are you?”
Emma crouched down and fumbled to pick up the girls. Her hands shook so badly, she nearly dropped Katrina. She eased from behind Stephen, holding the twins tight, and moved well away from him.
“He’s going.” Her voice trembled.
Travis looked past Stephen to her, then back to him. “The lady wants you to leave.”
Stephen shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “See you around, Emma.” His searing glance at her was at odds with the lightness of his voice.
She watched him stalk through the living room and out the door. The slamming of the door shattered the sudden stillness. The twins snuggled their heads into the crook of her neck, sniffing, but no longer crying. Emma stared at Travis. Burning humiliation warred with relief at the sight of him.
He approached her, his gaze alarmed, concerned. “What happened?”
She mashed her lips together to stop from crying out. Travis pulled a couple of suckers from his pocket and unwrapped them. He gently eased the twins from her arms and set them at the table with their suckers. When he had them pacified, he walked over to her. She felt like a statue, afraid any movement might make her crack.
“Emma,” he said softly. “Talk to me.”
She looked up at him, feeling tears stream down her face. “I don’t deserve the girls.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I put my daughters in danger by my poor judgment in Stephen.”
“That was your old fiancé?” He touched her arm, and gasped. “What happened to your arms? Did he do this to you?”
Emma glanced at the fading red marks on her skin. Making a noise of impatience, Travis gathered her close. She leaned into his strength, unable to do anything else at the moment.
Travis pressed his cheek against the silkiness of Emma’s hair and held her tight. The moment his last patient had left the office, he’d called her. He’d chafed all afternoon being away from her after such a horrific revelation. Then to find her bruised by a man that used to be her fiancé. Unbelievable!
Her fear angered him. That she should’ve felt a moment’s vulnerability consumed him in a frustrating surge of guilt and fury. He should’ve been there for her, should’ve protected her from harm. On the heels of that thought was the realization that he simply couldn’t be with her every moment of the day. Not only was it impossible, but he didn’t have the right.
For some reason he had yet to fathom, Emma didn’t seem to want him.
As if she read his mind, she eased from his arms. He forced himself to let her go, sensing by her rigid posture that he wasn’t going to like what she had to say.
Emma looked up at him, her blue eyes swimming in tears. She offered him a crooked smile. “Sorry to go all to pieces like that.”
He frowned. “I don’t blame you. That guy’s a jerk.”
She tilted her head away, seeming distracted. “Yes, he was, wasn’t he?” She took a few steps backward and turned toward the twins.
Travis clenched his hands to stop from reaching out to her again. “What can I do to help?”
Emma twisted her head around and peered at him. “Um, nothing. But thank you.”
He stared at her, knowing what she said, but not knowing why. “Why are you pushing me away?”
“I’m not.” She shook her head. “It’s just that I need to work this out on my own. You know what I mean. I started it, now I have to finish it.”
“All on your own? When there are people who care about you and want to help?”
Emma’s gaze slid to the window—he followed it. Outside, he could see the surf foam and surge against the shore.
“I don’t mean totally on my own of course, but with the Lord’s help, I’ll manage.” She turned back to him with a tight smile.
Travis fought the urge to drag her back into his arms and kiss her senseless until she yielded to him. “Why are you fighting me?”
A spark of anger flashed in her eyes. “Are you going to bully me, too?” she demanded.
Travis stepped closer. “You’re not comparing me to Stephen, are you?” He grit his teeth, more angry than he could remember being in a long time.
Emma’s face flushed a deep red. She reached out and touched his hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. You’re nothing like Stephen, okay? And I...I treasure your friendship, I really do.”
Travis ignored her platitude. “What did he want, anyway?”
She shrugged. “Money.”
“You didn’t give him any, did you?”
“No.” Emma looked up at him. “What’s weird is that I thought he had plenty of his own.”
“Maybe that’s what he wanted you to think.”
She stared at him, the color ebbing from her face. A harsh bark of laughter escaped from her lips. “Silly, isn’t it? All that time I thought he wanted
me for who I was, when it was really just my money he was after.”
Travis reached out to her, but she edged away from his touch. “Emma—”
“You’re not much different, Travis. Did you know that? You have a white knight streak running through you a mile wide. You want to help me because you just need to help. I’m not the attraction, my problems are.”
“That’s ridiculous!”
She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter anyway. All that does matter is making sure I get to keep my girls.”
Emma turned her back to him, effectively shutting him out. He ground his teeth in aggravation. Of all the absurd, stubborn, wrong-headed ideas a woman could get into her brain! He thought of several retorts to trump her, but decided to keep quiet. She was upset right now. If he kept his own counsel and treaded lightly, Emma Hayes might one day decide he wasn’t so unnecessary after all.
He blew out a ragged breath, mentally laying a strategy for the immediate future. “If you need anything, let me know.”
Travis figured his words fell on deaf ears. Emma had grabbed a damp dishcloth and was wiping the lollipop residue from Kendra’s arm.
As he backed up a few steps before turning toward the living room, she shot a glance at him. The turmoil swirling in her gaze almost melted his determination to hold back. She needed him, whether she’d admit it or not.
And no matter what, he was going help!
13
The trumpet of a prophecy! O wind.
-Percy Bysshe Shelley
Emma didn’t hear from her lawyer until the following day. Despite her self-lectures, she’d been worried to the point of being sick to her stomach. Stephen’s words about needing a man still burned in her ears.
I know I need to learn to stand on my own two feet, but maybe I was too hasty in brushing Travis off. She groaned, frustrated by her chronic confusion—but at least there was something almost comforting in the familiar thought patterns.
The phone rang. Emma grabbed it. “Hello?”
Her lawyer, Harry Belling, launched into the reason for the call. “My secretary gave me your message. Your adoption is ironclad, Miss Hayes. This probationary period is merely formality. Anything saying otherwise is ridiculous.”
“Why would someone do this?”
“I wonder if the orphanage gave the plaintiffs bad information. Go ahead and forward me the paperwork, and consider the matter taken care of.”
Emma closed her eyes, relief crashing over her like a wave. She gripped the phone. “Thank you. Mr. Belling.”
After hanging up, she walked into the living room and dropped to the floor, arms flung wide. Kendra and Katrina tumbled over her prone form. Emma tickled them, delighting in their babyish giggles. She gazed at their faces, at their bright brown eyes, so thankful the specter of a lawsuit had passed. Closing her eyes, she forced her mind away from worries and toward the pleasure of just being a mom.
Emma tried to imagine them passing through each childhood stage on the path to adulthood. What would they be like all grown up? Would her attempt at parenting be successful? She bit her lip. If only love could be enough.
She rolled over onto her stomach and rested her chin in her hands. One of the twins climbed onto her back and bonked her on the head with a teddy bear. Emma thought about yesterday’s experience with Stephen. How could she have been so wrong about a person? Why was she such a failure at seeing the authentic in people? Except Travis, of course. He was true, through and through—but in a way, he still had his own agenda. She flushed warm when she remembered the feel of being in his arms. His embrace was like the sweet balm of a zephyr wind after a violent storm. Every feminine iota of her wanted to huddle in the shelter of his strength—which was why she couldn’t. It’s my turn to be strong.
Stephen’s mocking gaze rose before her. Emma suppressed a shudder. A once seemingly caring and kind man had frightened her out of her wits. She would need to be especially careful that she kept the house locked up when she was home. Hopefully her negative response about the money was the last of that sorry episode of her life. From here on out, she was in control of her own destiny—refusing to be steered by others, regardless of their intentions.
****
Emma’s determination wavered when she arrived at church the next day, especially after spotting Lucy sitting in her car in the parking lot. Was she there to attend, or to see Travis?
Holding the twins’ hands, she entered the sanctuary and saw Travis’s tall form several pews up where he stood with a few other church members. He turned as if sensing her presence and offered a cool smile. Her heart did a freefall in response.
Emma gripped the girls’ hands and angled them into a pew near the back. Once settled, she struggled to calm her breathing. The first time his eyes don’t light up when he sees me and I feel like I’ve gone cold turkey. Pulling Katrina onto her lap, she used the opportunity to force her mind and emotions into submission. She’d pushed him away—what else did she expect? She wasn’t so arrogant to think Travis would come begging for her favor.
“No Lucy, I see.”
Emma twisted her head sharply and saw Charlotte easing onto the pew behind her. “Excuse me?”
The older woman tilted her head in Travis’s direction. “He’s solo today. Must be the first time lately I’ve seen him at church without Lucy clinging to his side like a limpet.”
Emma scanned the congregation, noticing that Lucy had not entered the sanctuary.
“You must’ve had something to do with that,” Charlotte said.
Glancing at Travis, she shook her head. “No, Mrs. Evans. I don’t think I did.”
“Stuff! That boy can hardly keep his eyes off you.”
Taking a deep breath, she leaned closer. “Please, you’re making this a more difficult situation. Besides, he told me he’d already broken up with Lucy.”
“Then what are you waiting for? You think a man like Travis will stay single forever? If you don’t snatch him up, someone else will.”
Emma felt a prick of annoyance. She preferred the feeling to guilt. “I have no intention of snatching anyone up,” she hissed. “If God brought these girls to me when I was single, He must’ve thought I could handle it on my own.”
Charlotte pressed her lips together and avoided her gaze. Emma turned around, feeling stung despite getting the upper hand for once. Why does everyone want to bully me into something? She blew out a breath and focused on the worship leader calling everyone to rise.
The rousing hymns and choruses failed to restore the peace she’d found the day before. Emma obscurely blamed Charlotte for upsetting her. Her gaze drifted to where Travis stood. An exquisite pang of sheer longing for him shook her in its intensity. Swallowing, she struggled to shift her focal point away from him.
After the song service came to an end, the parishioners sat down. The twins wiggled and played with their dolls, content for the moment. The pastor smiled and greeted the congregation.
“Please turn with me in your Bible to the book of James.”
Emma reached over Katrina’s head and grabbed her Bible from where it lay on the pew. She flipped it open while the pastor read the passage aloud.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.”
Emma stared at the text. The words pierced her with a shaft of bitter awareness. That’s me. I’m double-minded!
Instability had been the hallmark of her life. One minute she felt sure of God’s call on her life, in the next, she worried until her stomach was in knots. Adding her fluctuating feelings for Travis only made the vortex within her more fierce.
Maybe that’s my problem. I’m not trusting that God has given me what I’ve asked for. Emma squeezed her
eyes shut. Forgive me, Lord, for allowing myself to be blown about by the wind of uncertainty. Help me to believe. Help my unbelief!
Tears stung her eyes as her emotions swung from anguish to a stillness that settled the tumult in her soul. Emma sucked in a cleansing breath and opened her eyes as she exhaled. Up ahead, Travis suddenly turned around and looked straight at her. She found herself unable to look away. A suffocating ache filled her. Kendra stood up on the pew, and obviously seeing him for the first time, pointed her little hand toward Travis.
“Bon bon!”
Realizing what Kendra planned to do, Emma reached out to grab the little girl, but she wriggled away and slid from the pew. Katrina crawled at Emma’s feet, making quick movement impossible.
Before she could stop her, Kendra toddled down the aisle toward Travis. His stoic expression altered into a grin as he scooped the little girl up in his arms. While Emma wondered if she should go after Kendra, Katrina slipped from under her arms and ran after her sister.
Emma’s face grew hot from mortification, especially when several people laughed softly at the twins’ antics. Travis pulled Katrina on his lap, shooting Emma a look that held a message of triumph.
The twins busily poked their fingers into the pockets of his coat, gurgling with pleasure at finding lollipops tucked inside. Emma sent a frown right back, annoyed that the girls had abandoned her for the cheap thrills of sugar.
“At least someone in your family has a scrap of sense,” Charlotte whispered from behind, her voice filled with impish glee.
Emma squared her shoulders and affected not to hear. It wouldn’t do the older woman any good to believe she’d won this round. At the end of the service, Travis stood, holding the girls, and headed toward her. Hope his suit got real sticky.
He held her gaze as he approached her, making her heart rate shoot into the stratosphere. She lifted her chin as he sat down beside her, desperate to reveal none of the traitorous emotion pulsing within her.
“Emma,” he said in a low voice.
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