by Firebrand
She’d fallen in love with him the minute she saw him. Love at first sight? She’d never believed that it was possible. But it had been there from the beginning, and it still was. He’d come into her life and made it secure. Without taking over, he’d been there, steady, backing her up, supporting her. And all she’d done was use him.
He laid her down and stepped back, glaring at her with eyes that seemed hollow and blank. For a long time he merely looked. Then he turned away.
“For what it’s worth, Cade,” she said quietly, “I don’t know any other way to put it except to say that I love you. But I realize that I have no claim on you.”
He stopped. In the silence she could hear his breathing.
She went on slowly, determined to say it all, no matter what the cost. “This started with a game, but it’s turned into much more. I didn’t know how to love, and by trying to keep from being hurt, I’ve hurt the people I care most about in the world. I’m sorry.”
He turned. “So am I, Redhead. You know what’s so crazy about all of this? I really love this ranch. I never realized before that a place was important. I’ve been a drifter all my life, looking for where I belonged. I think I would have been happy to stay. I think we could have had a spectacular life.”
Rusty tried to close out the pain in his voice. She understood his pain because it was only a mirror image of her own. She forced herself to go on. “I want you to know that I’ve ordered Doak to destroy the bull, Cade. He isn’t worth the heartache he’s caused.”
“You did what?”
“I don’t care about him. I never did. I only wanted to keep him from hurting Pixie.”
“I know that now. But when he butted you, I went crazy. I was afraid for you. Then when I found out about the baby, I was angry, angry that you took such a chance. You could have killed our child,” he said slowly.
“Yes. But I didn’t. The doctor said that the bull’s head hit my chest, just at the moment he fell. The tranquilizer was working. It kept the full force of his fall from touching me. I may not do any riding for a few days, but our baby is fine.”
He was having trouble changing direction in his thinking. He couldn’t seem to understand. “ ‘Our baby.’ That’s what you wanted. Now that it’s happened, are you still pleased?”
His question surprised her. He was right. A baby had been the object from the beginning. Yet now he seemed to be the person having doubts. There was something about the way he asked that didn’t fit with the expression on his face.
“Yes,” she answered, and left it there. She didn’t know what else to say. That she’d have died before she’d have hurt their child? She would have, but she couldn’t expect him to believe her.
“I’d better go,” he said woodenly, making no move to leave. “You ought to rest now. If you need anything, switch the light on and off, and I’ll come.”
He wasn’t leaving the ranch, at least not tonight. In spite of all that had happened, he would be there if she needed him. He would keep a watch over her, at least for tonight. She liked that thought, Cade watching over her. Cade caring.
But it wasn’t enough. It wouldn’t hold him. If by some miracle he stayed at Silverwild, it would have to be because he wanted her to be his wife, because he loved her. There would be no more games.
Rusty adjusted her nightgown and sat up. She looked at the envelope she was still holding in her hand, then back at Cade. She opened the flap and pulled out the papers.
“Will you come over here, Cade? I want to give you something.”
Cautiously, he moved back toward the bed.
“Do you know what this is?” she asked, unfolding the papers so that he could see.
The frown on his face deepened. “The contract. I recognize it. So? Am I to be forced into a shotgun wedding?”
“If I thought it would make you want to stay with me, I might do it,” Rusty admitted, “but I don’t want to play games anymore. I’m releasing you from the agreement. There will be no wedding, but this is our child and if you wish to have a say in his upbringing and a share in raising him, I won’t refuse.”
She ripped the papers in half, then again in half, and let the pieces float to the floor. Whatever final arrangement you wish as a settlement will be agreeable to me.”
Rusty waited. Her sad eyes seemed focused on a spot just above Cade’s boot tops. Gone was the proud self-possessed woman he’d met in the airport. Her face was pale in the soft lamplight. Her proud chin was lowered in defeat as if she expected him to deliver some final blow.
As he stood, watching her, a lovely light seemed to emanate from somewhere behind her, like sunshine in a dark corner. And he knew that was what she’d given him. Sunshine, light—warm happiness that was constant.
Rusty was beautiful. He couldn’t understand how she hadn’t known how beautiful she was. But she hadn’t. It was as if she’d saved that beauty until he’d come along. Then it had burst forth with the force of a new spring.
She’d fought him every step of the way for control of Silverwild and her life. But that inner part of her that no one else had ever touched had been given to him, freely and without restraint. He’d told himself it was because she wanted a child. Yet every time they’d made love, the feeling of togetherness had been more complete, more powerful and it had been harder for Cade to leave.
“Our child,” she’d said. For the first time, her child had become “our” child. And then he knew. She meant it. She loved him.
At first Cade smiled. Then he let out a loud, happy yell. Then he lifted Rusty in his arms and whirled her around the room.
Eugene and Letty came running down the corridor and stopped, wide-eyed, in the doorway.
“What’s wrong?” Letty asked.
“Wrong?” Cade let out another yell. “Nothing’s wrong. We’re pregnant, that’s what.”
“What’d I tell you?” Eugene said, giving Letty an exaggerated nod of his head.
“I never doubted it for a minute,” Letty agreed, and closed the bedroom door.
Nine
As the door closed, Rusty was pulling Cade’s head down to meet her kiss. For a moment he returned it, then as it began to deepen, he pulled back.
“No, Redhead, you know what this will lead to.”
“I hope so,” she whispered boldly, running her hand between the buttons on his shirt.
“Not tonight,” he said sternly. “You had a bad fall today, and we have to be careful. At least for twenty-four hours. Doctor’s orders.”
“But, Cade,” she protested, twisting her body so that she was touching as much of him as she could, “I want you so much.”
“I want you too. But then I always want you.” He put her back on the bed and pulled the cover over her body, pausing only to stare at her breasts. His fingers touched her breasts, rimming the dusky aureole, following the path of the veins, now darkening. “You look different. I should have noticed.”
Rusty caught her breath as she watched Cade looking at her body. “That’s because of the baby. Sometimes the nipples are painful, the doctor says. Until he’s born, I’m supposed to pull on them, rub them to make them tough.”
Cade’s breath quickened. His touch intensified. “Does this hurt?” He sank down on the bed beside her.
“No. It’s very stimulating.” She tried not to show him how stimulating his touch was.
“Will being pregnant make you look different in other places?”
“Not yet. I think it’s too soon.”
Wordlessly, he pulled down the sheet and lifted her nightgown. His fingertips left her breast and moved down to cradle her stomach.
She couldn’t hold herself still anymore. A shudder swept over her, and she sat up, pulling the nightgown over her head. She clasped her arms around him, swaying helplessly against him. “Please, Cade. Love me. There must be a way.”
He was on fire, but the voice of reason told him that they couldn’t. Not tonight. As much as he wanted to be inside her, they couldn’t. But
maybe there was another way. Yes. He caught the back of her neck, holding her as his lips found hers.
She moaned and arched against him, taking his tongue into her mouth in rhythm with the motion of her body.
Suddenly he stood and stripped off his clothes. Pulling the sheets and blankets away, he knelt down beside her. “Maybe there is a way, Redhead, for me to give you what you want.”
She lay back and held out her arms, expecting him to fill her with himself. But he didn’t. Instead he moved over her, sliding down so that he was settled on his elbows propped on either side of her chest. For a long time he simply stared into her green eyes, filled with desire.
Then he lowered his head and took her nipple inside his mouth. She was exquisitely hot, swelling inside his mouth. He nuzzled and sucked, as his child would. Letting the nipple go, he moved around the aureole, kissing his way up her neck, across her lips and down to the other breast, all the while touching, caressing her with his tongue.
Tonight he wanted only to give her pleasure. He reveled in the little sounds she made, in the way she moved against him, offered every part of herself hungrily to him. His hand moved down, discovering and teasing her body. His lips followed.
Beneath him, Rusty was on fire. She heard herself whimpering. Her hands dug into his back. Her body had turned into a seething mass of desire. She was in agony. And then his lips slid across her stomach, lower, lower, until he found the center of her desire. She cried out.
“Cade, no. Cade, don’t.”
“Yes. Let it go, darling. I want to give you what you need.”
And then she felt it. That special warm spot deep inside her began to glow. Hotter and hotter, higher and higher. She felt tears stream down her cheeks. Her hands were on the back of Cade’s head, pressing him against her, holding him. Her hips were arching, opening herself to him.
And as the red-hot tide burst through her, she felt the very core of her existence open to this man who’d become such a part of her other self.
Then, as awareness filtered over her, she felt his face slide back up her stomach and lie across her breasts. His breathing was rough and uneven, and he was trembling. Her body was slick with sweat, her own heartbeat still erratic.
For a long moment they didn’t speak.
“Cade, I … I didn’t know. I … what about you?”
He moved up in the bed beside her, pulling her into his arms. “Don’t worry about me. Loving you is enough for me tonight. I just want to hold you to my heart.”
He kissed her forehead and lifted her leg across his lower body. Beneath her thigh she felt him, still hard and throbbing. She nudged him with her knee.
“Don’t do that, Redhead. There’s just so much a man can take before he cracks under pressure.”
“Really?” she said with a grin, giving him a deep kiss that increased not only the throbbing but the imperceptible movement of his body against her as well. She began to work her way down his chest, one wicked kiss at a time.
“Don’t do this to me,” he pleaded, “I’m liable to disintegrate right here in this bed, and little Eugene will never see his father.”
“Eugene?” She raised her head in horror. “You have to be kidding.”
“I’m not kidding. We owe that man a great debt.” He gasped as her lips started a downward trail. “After all, he found your ad.”
“He didn’t force you to stay.”
“No, but he knew that I was melting, and he warned me not to let myself drown in the thaw.”
But the warning was already too late. As Rusty’s mouth found the object of her attention, Cade acknowledged that he’d always wondered what it would feel like to die of pleasure.
And then, in a rush of heat and a passionate groan, he did know.
It was fire and light and explosive passion. It was two people who belonged together. Two people who were joined.
Afterward Rusty raised her head and looked anxiously at the man she loved more than life itself.
“Was it—are you all right?”
He pulled her up over him, laying her face in the hollow of his neck. Now they were together, touching.
“I’ve never been so all right,” he whispered. “Now, go to sleep. I want to hold you through the night. I don’t want to leave you—ever again.”
“Good,” Rusty murmured sleepily, “I have an assignment for you first thing in the morning.”
“What is it, darling?”
“I’ll show you then,” she said, and she slept.
Cade might have slept, but he couldn’t be certain. His body protested, but he managed to force himself to be content. This woman in his arms was his to protect. She would be Pixie’s mother and the mother of his other child. He could wait until morning for more.
Rusty couldn’t. She tried. But the sun was still cowering behind the mountain when she gave up her battle and began a shy assault with her lips on Cade’s chest.
“What!” He came suddenly awake. He was being kissed. He was being fondled. He was already hard. Rusty was still asleep. She didn’t know what she was doing. He groaned. He didn’t think he could lie there and let her touch him any longer.
“About that assignment,” she whispered, and burrowed beneath him. “I believe in getting an early start.”
When Rusty woke the next time, she was alone in the bed. Letty was pulling the drapes and announcing that the doctor was downstairs to check her out.
“Doctor? Why? I’m fine. I’ve never been better.”
“I can understand that, but Cade called him at first light and insisted he come and check you out again. He seemed to be worried that something might have happened last night. Didn’t make any sense to me, but he was determined.”
Rusty smiled. The dear man. She knew what he was doing. When they’d made love the second time, he’d panicked for fear he’d hurt her, injured the baby in some way. She knew better. This baby was meant to be. He was strong, just like his father.
Rusty smiled and turned her face to her pillow. It smelled of Cade. The bedclothes smelled of Cade. She let out a deep satisfied sigh.
“I know what you mean, girl,” muttered Letty, “but I think you’d better get yourself to the shower before the doctor gets up here. Cade may have figured out the answer to that bull’s problem, but he’s driving the doctor crazy with questions about his own.”
Rusty came to her feet. She wasn’t sore. She wasn’t angry. She felt wonderful. “Bull? What do you mean?”
“Seems he wasn’t falling from any tranquilizer. Doak missed him completely. After he woke up this morning, Pixie set them all straight. She explained that Pretty Boy came from Africa. He doesn’t understand English. He was only scared, like she was when she came here.”
“Pixie was scared?”
“Yes, until Glenda, the good witch, made everything all right. She said that Pretty Boy just needed love.”
“Yeah? Well try telling that to the hands.”
“She did, and you know what? A chorus of ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb’ was all it took. He’s following them around like he was one of Mary’s sheep.”
Rusty looked out the window. There in the corral was Doak, petting the bull. She raised the window for a moment. Letty was right. Doak would never win any talent contests, but she’d never heard a more innovative rendition of the plight of Mary and her lamb.
“Your shower’s ready,” Letty said.
Rusty closed the window and headed for the bathroom, oblivious to Letty’s mock look of dismay as she picked up Rusty’s gown from the floor.
“Must have gotten pretty warm in here last night,” she said with a knowing smile.
“Yes it did,” Rusty responded with an impish grin as she closed the bathroom door. After a quick shower she slid into a fresh nightgown and crawled between the clean sheets that Letty had put on the bed. They were nice, but they took Cade away, and she didn’t like that. Then she skimmed her nipples and felt a shiver of response, bringing back the memory of Cade’s hot mouth tou
ching her there.
“Send the doctor along, Letty. I don’t want to hold him up. And see if you can keep Cade downstairs until after he’s finished. There are a few things I need to know.”
“As soon as the doctor comes up, Cade’s going to call Judge Meekins. That ought to occupy him.”
“What for?”
“To arrange for the wedding. He says it’s going to be on Sunday. Is he right?”
“Cade is always right,” Rusty said with a satisfied sigh. “Tell the doctor to hurry.”
The wedding was held at three o’clock on Sunday afternoon, in the study. Pixie was the flower girl. Letty was maid of honor. Eugene was best man. Doak, the hands, Will, and Ann-Marie were all invited guests. After the ceremony and the cutting of the cake, the judge reached into his coat pocket for the marriage certificate.
Instead he brought out an envelope.
“Do you want this back, now that you’re staying, Cade?”
“ ‘Staying’?” Rusty said, a puzzled expression on her face.
Cade took the envelope and handed it to Rusty.
“I don’t think this matters anymore. But you might like to have it,” he said tightly. “I mailed this the morning after the Cattleman’s Ball.”
Rusty looked at the envelope. It was addressed to Judge Meekins. On the back: to be opened after I’ve gone.
“ ‘After I’ve gone’?” Rusty read.
“I didn’t know what would happen,” he said. “I only knew that a piece of paper wouldn’t decide it for me.”
Rusty opened the envelope. Inside was Cade’s contract, shredded in pieces. There was a note: The only contract that means anything between two people who love each other is written in the heart. If you don’t want mine, I have no need for this.
“Oh, Cade,” Rusty said softly. “You love me? You really love me?”
“I really love you. Didn’t you know?”
“Yes,” Rusty said, tears in her eyes. “I know. I just wasn’t sure that you did. I—I have another order for you,” she whispered shyly, “about that place for yourself, the one you wanted to find to keep us from destroying each other?”