by Tamar Sloan
“Whoa. What’s that like?”
I turn to find Josh’s lips twitching. “Like living in an MRI machine.”
Riley snort-laughs, then her gaze instantly shoots to her bowl. Josh looks like he’s been hit by a bison.
Just then, Lauren enters holding a basket of washing. “Oh wonderful, everyone’s up.”
We all chorus a good morning. Lauren makes a point of smiling at me in a way that makes me tense. It feels like she’s wondering whether she should curtsy.
Riley stacks our empty bowls and takes them to the sink. “Is he back yet?”
Lauren’s brow twitches like it would like to frown. Her eyes flick to Josh and me before looking back to her daughter. “Not yet.”
They exchange a long glance. Josh looks at me. He noticed it too. It’s unusual for the Alpha to be out this long. I tuck away my need to find out about my wolf for the moment. These two women are worried.
Lauren pulls up a blinding, artificial smile. “What would you like to do today?”
I pause. I don’t know Lauren and Riley enough to ask if there’s anything going on. I can also instinctively tell they wouldn’t want an offer of help from someone they think is Were royalty.
Which means all I can do is meet them where they are. “Well, I’d love to see the captive breeding program. Getting these vaccines dropped off is our priority.”
Lauren nods. “We figured that would be the best place to call everyone in.”
“Call everyone in?”
She nods again. “Our pack will assemble for your announcement. There’s work to be done.”
My announcement? As in a speech?
“Ah, of course.” I take a moment to pull in a breath. “Just let me get my stuff together.”
I dart down the hall and into my room. A speech? Why didn’t I consider that I’d have to do something like a speech?
I stare at my suitcase, realizing I should have unpacked last night, but my mind was too busy buzzing. What does one wear to an announcement? One where people think you’re some kind of Were royalty?
I end up choosing a green top my Mom says brings out my eyes. With a quick brush of my hair, I open my door to find Josh leaning against the opposite wall. He’s making a point of containing his grin.
I want to kick him in the shin. “Shut up.”
The grin breaks free. “It’ll be fine. You do these kinds of speeches all the time.”
I glare at him. I’ve never done one of these speeches and he knows it. Lauren has assumed I’m some sort of leader back at home, someone Weres look up to.
Man, am I going to burst her bubble.
The drive to the captive breeding compound is longer than I expected, and I say as much in the car.
Riley, this time in the front, looks out the window. “Couldn’t have it too close to town.”
Josh narrows his eyes. “Because of the townspeople?”
She turns to look at him, and her eyes echo with sadness. “They weren’t too happy that it was set up.”
Lauren’s face is grim as she stares out the windshield. “We’ve lost too many wolves to poachers. They seem to think they’re target practice.”
I close my eyes for a brief moment. It always hurts to hear of wolves, or any animal, being deliberately killed. Those people with guns wouldn’t see the threads that connect them to the very animals they’re shooting. They don’t understand what severing them forever means.
Josh leans back in his seat. “I can see why you have patrols.”
Of course, the Alpha would prioritize keeping the wolves safe over our arrival. I’m glad he’s kept his priorities straight.
When the chain-link fence rises on the horizon a sense of familiarity floods me. Now this is something I know. I take in the format as we draw close. Looks like two large pens, a smaller one close to the building for when wolves are sick, being mated, or need close observation. It’s fairly similar to what we have back home, just a smaller scale. Which isn’t surprising, considering the same person established them.
I sit a little straighter. I’ll be seeing Dawn for the first time since she left two years ago. The woman has been a mentor and teacher to me, someone who shared my passion for the wolves. Her Fae blood meant she understood the connections we have to the animal kingdom, but she was someone who was willing to work tirelessly, to sacrifice, in the name of their survival.
It’s a reunion I’m looking forward to.
The building we pull up into is a squat, sturdy, somber-looking thing.
Lauren must notice me taking it in. “It was an old Distant Early Warning Line, a system of radar stations in the Arctic region set up to provide early warning of any invasions.”
Riley rolls her eyes at me, telling me exactly what she thinks of that likelihood.
“It was deactivated in the eighties and was abandoned until we took it over two years ago.”
I nod. There’s certainly some interesting history up here.
Inside, I straight away notice the warmth. Although the building looks like a dreary, concrete bunker, it’s obviously well heated. I’m going to enjoy spending time here.
“Ava?”
The tall, lean woman striding down the hall has her arms spread out wide. I rush toward her and our hug is a tight one. I feel our connection warm and glow as we hold each other.
Dawn pulls back. “What a mighty fine young woman you’ve grown up to be.”
Dawn has a few extra lines across her face and her grey hair is tied back in a braid. She looks almost the same as when I saw her two years ago. “You look amazing, Dawn.”
Her green eyes twinkle. “The cold air is quite invigorating.”
Riley is peeling off her jacket which she hangs on a nearby hook, a cheeky grin on her face. “Says the woman who’s recreated the tropics in here.”
Dawn’s smile grows even more. “Makes you appreciate the cold even more.” She wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Come, look at what we’ve done here.” She leans over, a twinkle in her green eyes. “I named the center Resolve.”
I nod, loving the choice of name and excited to be seeing this all, maybe even spending time with some wolves.
Except that is the moment the door opens again.
Ava
Along with the cool air, people start to file in. Correction, Weres start to file in. About five of them.
Each one of them scans the room until they find me, and what follows is a mixture of facial expressions. Two smile in the same way Lauren does. Some seem to struggle to keep eye contact. One seems to be fighting back a frown.
Nervousness has my hands wanting to tremble as I’m introduced to them all. Some of these people are expecting something I’m not. Others seem to have an inkling of the imposter I feel like.
But I came here for a reason. And Furious is a threat we can’t afford to gain strength.
When a grin that’s already becoming familiar makes its way towards me, I smile right back at KJ. Just like with my wolf, there’re some connections you know are deeper even though you can’t explain why. He indicates for me to follow, and we head to the far wall. Oh dear, where a lectern stands.
“Most people know why you’re here.”
That doesn’t surprise me. The Were grapevine has always been an efficient one.
“Hunter is still MIA, but I say we start without him. Being late is his superpower.”
I glance behind KJ, people are chatting amongst themselves, commenting that you can smell summer is almost over. They keep glancing my way, but I could really use a little more time. I turn back to KJ. “So, Hunter is Riley’s older brother?”
“Yep.”
Except Weres generally have their children close together…Surely not… “How old is he?”
“In human years? Our age. But I’m pretty sure his sense of responsibility was born a few decades ago.”
I blink. “He was young when he became Alpha then.”
“Just a bit over sixteen. Most other Weres wouldn’t have been able to pul
l it off.”
Holy smokes, it can’t be! But the pack is all here. Hunter is my age.
I think Hunter is my white wolf!
Except there’s no time to dwell on whether that conclusion is correct. The room falls silent and I look up to find all eyes on me. Right. It seems it’s time for me to talk.
KJ winks and moves back. I swallow as I step up to the lectern. “Ah, thank you for coming. I…appreciate you taking the time to be here.”
Feet shuffle and faces look expectant.
“As most of you know, I’m here because we’ve come across a virus.”
Nods move around the room. “Rabies.”
“Yes. But a particularly virulent strain. We’ve named it Furious.”
There are more shuffles as people turn to look uneasily at each other as I go on to explain everything I know about the virus.
It’s then that I feel him. Something in the connection that I’ve only felt while asleep all of a sudden becomes real.
He’s here. Maybe in the room. Scanning, I can’t find him, even though I don’t know what he looks like. The moment I see him, I’ll know. I’m sure of it. The heady sense of happiness has me straightening.
“But we have a vaccine, one that works after infection. We’re confident it has the capacity to immunize them too.”
Dawn is at the back now too, watching me with a smile on her face as I tell them about how the vaccine works.
It feels good to be the one to give them hope.
“We’ll be spending the next few days disseminating the vaccine amongst the captive population before extending to the wild wolves.”
“And that will cure them?” asks a woman at the front.
“That’s what we believe. We’ve seen it work on one of our own captive wolves.”
I notice KJ frown as he looks to the back of the room. With a glance at the crowd, he heads down the passage to my left.
“Have there been any other cases of Furious?” This time it’s a man to my right. His weathered skin and dark hair speak of Inuit ancestry.
“Not that we know of, which is why we’re confident we’ve caught it early.”
There are some nods and I’m keen for this to be over. Meet my wolf, then deal with Furious. Two goals that are just within my reach.
“Other Weres and Fae are vaccinating other wolf populations. We’ll work with Dawn to do the same here.”
“Won’t take long,” the same man grunts. “There ain’t many left.”
A grumble ripples through the small crowd and I make sure I smile rather than frown. It doesn’t surprise me that the dissatisfaction with humans is also here. In fact, Evelyn Island is probably a crucible for all these tensions—a small, isolated population that’s amplified what’s happening in other parts of the world. But the sense that my wolf is nearby buoys me, reminding me of all the amazing things that exist in this world. I smile. “They’ll never lose with you all protecting them.”
“Sure as hell better than catching them and holding them in cages.”
The last comment is muttered, probably not meant to reach my ears. But I see Josh and Riley stiffen and I know I heard right. I definitely want to wrap this up before any of these sentiments gain too much momentum.
As I answer a few more questions, I can feel the connection weaken, like he’s moving away. He mustn’t realize I’m here, which means I have to catch him before we miss this opportunity. It’s been two years of wondering and hoping.
It’s time to bring this to the realm of reality.
Like she’s a mind reader, Lauren steps up beside me. “Thank you, Ava. The Rendell pack is willing to help in any way we can.”
The crowd starts to move, one or two leaving, some talking to each other, one looking like they’re going to head my way. I touch Lauren’s arm and tell her I’m going to find the ladies room. She smiles, probably assuming I’ve had enough of the crowd. She’s right, but not for the reasons she assumes.
It’s time to meet my wolf.
I head down the hallway KJ just used. It turns right up ahead, and my guess is that this building is a great big square with a hallway that circles it. I can feel myself drawing closer, the connection building.
A voice reaches me. “I’ll be back later.”
A voice I’ve never heard before, but a voice I already know. I pause where I am. Why is he walking away?
“You get here late, and now you’re leaving early?” I recognize KJ’s voice. “I get that the patrols are important, Hunter, but you’ve spent almost every night out over the past two years.”
Hunter. It’s him.
“I don’t want to talk about this right now.”
I slow again. He sounds angry. Maybe that’s why he’s still moving. He would have to know I’m here.
“As opposed to all the other times you’ve wanted to talk about it?”
“KJ, now really isn’t the time. I need…a break. Just for a bit.”
“Going out alone isn’t the answer, Hunter. Take advice from an orphan who knows what they’re talking about.”
There’s a sigh that sounds a little strangled. “I’ll explain tomorrow.”
“You know what? Don’t bother. If you want to kill yourself, don’t let someone who cares about you get in the way.”
There are footsteps on the concrete, and I figure this must be the time for me to move forward. Maybe meeting Hunter will be the good news he needs.
“KJ, I think we start it.”
The footsteps stop. “What?” A moment passes. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
There’s a pause. “We’ve run out of options.”
Those words have me stopping mid-stride, but I don’t have time to wonder what they’re talking about. A barely perceptible squeak just sounded when my sneaker stopped in a hurry on the concrete floor.
Silence reigns. They’ve heard me.
I know I should feel guilty for eavesdropping, but I’ll do that later. Right now, I have a soulmate to meet.
Rounding the corner, heart pounding like a drum, I stop the moment I see them.
Great glory, it’s him.
It’s his copper eyes that first grip me. I’ve stared into those depths so many times. The familiarity, the sense of rightness, is instantaneous. But then I take in the tousled dark hair, the sharp line of his jaw, those lips...good grief, then the shoulders built of muscle, the lean length, the biceps! I hadn’t banked on Hunter, my wolf, being a whole hunk of gorgeous.
I open my mouth to say something. We’ve spent so much time together, but we’ve never spoken. Except I’m as silent as I am in my dreams. My only saving grace is that he looks as shell-shocked as I feel.
KJ could have been teleported to another dimension, I’m not terribly sure. All of a sudden, there’s only two of us in this building. This continent. This whole, amazing, incredible universe.
“Ava.”
Oh god, my name sounds good on his lips.
His face seems to transform. It goes from shock, to raw anger, to hard as the concrete underneath us. “It’s true, you’re Ava Phelan.” In fact, his face seems to be chiseled from stone. “The girl who never changed.”
The verbal slap is a painful one. I don’t know how my head hasn’t snapped to the side. “What?” My first word since we met is a stunned whisper.
“The one who’s never been a wolf.”
This time I reel back. The connection is there, golden in a way I’ve never seen it. His eyes said he felt it too. Except he’s just hit me where I’m most vulnerable.
My hand comes to my brow, trying to disentangle what’s going on.
“Hey.” KJ steps between us. “What’s going on?”
I swallow. This moment has taken up so much airtime in my head. In the sweet scenarios we stand there, just like we do in my dreams, our eyes saying it all. In the more realistic ones, I get tongue tied, maybe he does too. There’s this awkward silence neither of us knows what to do with…until we both speak at once.
; I feel so naive.
So stupid.
And both feelings hurt. Really hurt.
Stepping back, I wish I could stop looking at him. “It seems I’ve made a mistake.”
KJ is looking from Hunter to me and back again. “Dude, I know you don’t get out much. But that was just damned rude.”
Hunter’s response is to clench his jaw even tighter. His whole body looks like a tightly wound coil. “Mistakes.” Repeating my last word, he looks away, disconnecting his gaze from mine. “They’re not a feeling you want to repeat.”
KJ gasps, but my lungs don’t have any air to do the same. Anguish seems to have filled every crevice of my chest.
Somehow, I thought the dreams meant I had potential. Made me more. Meant I wasn’t just a disappointing mix of nothing.
That maybe I had a soulmate.
But the scowling, copper eyed guy before me is everything my wolf isn’t. My wolf would never hurt me like Hunter just did. My wolf has a heart, one that’s synchronized with mine.
Which means my wolf is nothing more than a dream. It means I’ve been very, very wrong about a whole lot of things.
Holding myself as high as I can considering the weight of the agony, I turn on my heel and leave.
Ava
Waking the next morning I welcome the silence. I wish it was a balm to the wound my soul now has, but it isn’t. The quiet feels like it has something to say, but it knows there’re no words. Instead, it’s crowded with emotion that has nowhere to go.
Today the silence is the sound of grief.
There’s a knock on my door and I wipe my hands over my face.
Josh pokes his head around the door, his face not quite smiling. “You weren’t there at dinner last night. You okay?”
No, I’m really not. “Yeah. I had stuff to do.”
He walks in and sits on the edge of the bed. “To do with the vaccine?”
I push myself up a little more. I have an idea of how Josh is going to take this news. “I booked our flights home.”
“Home?” Yep, there’s the shock.
“Yep. We’re flying out this afternoon.”
“As in, today?” And the confusion. That’s the hardest part. There’s no way I can have this make sense.