by Tamar Sloan
“Hey, they were down to forty-six prairie chickens before they saved them with this strategy.”
I roll my eyes. “You need more coffee or something.”
Once I’m at my truck, I glance back to double check KJ has gone inside. Confirming I’m alone, I lean back against it, everything inside feeling exhausted. A wolf-Were hybrid? KJ is more desperate than I realized. Thank god everything I said was true. We have Sakari and Zephyr. The northern wolves are so isolated that no one bothers them. And our pups are proof the captive breeding program was the right choice.
He just needs time to see that.
Jumping in the truck, I put it into gear. Maybe I can get in a couple of hours’ sleep before tonight.
My chest warms, like a certain golden wolf has taken residence in there.
Right now, I’m counting down the hours till it’s night-time again. Then nothing is stopping me from heading out and seeing the one soul who makes this world okay.
Ava
“O.M.G.!” Riley is bounding from foot to foot. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.”
Her excitement makes me smile. The first release of wolves you’ve bred and raised in a captive breeding program is definitely a special one. “You guys have worked really hard towards this.”
My words are just as much for Hunter as they are for Riley, but he’s too busy inspecting the three big metal crates that now house an adolescent wolf each. In fact, he’s barely glanced at me since I’ve arrived.
Riley flutters around her brother like a bee on speed. “You have no idea, Ava. We lost one as a pup when someone tried to poison them, then we lost their dad.”
Hunter’s shoulders tense, and I know those words struck a chord. “Well, it’s all paid off. These guys are heading out to the wild.”
Riley has bounded over to stand beside Josh. She grasps his arm and squeezes it. “I know.”
Josh glances down at her, a look in his eyes I’ve never seen before. “We have twice as many people doing this back at Jacksonville. This is quite an achievement.”
Riley turns her gaze back to watching Hunter, and the blush creeping up her cheeks is adorable. She releases Josh’s arm like she hadn’t realized she’d grabbed it.
Dawn ties back her long hair with a band, a sure sign we’re meaning business. “Let’s get these guys out there.”
I can feel each of the wolves' fear as they struggle to understand what’s going on. I’m surprised Dawn doesn’t seem to be focusing on calming them more. Peering in through the small holes in the side of the metal crate, I see Pakak’s yellow eyes in the gloom. They’re wide and feral as she pants.
I never really inherited the Fae ability to calm animals the same way they do. Mom says it involves connecting through a melody, but it’s not one I’ve ever heard. The threads are something I see and feel, so I use them. I’ve spent time watching these guys in the soft-release enclosure. I’ve been there when Riley feeds them and when Dawn did their final health check. We have enough of a connection for me to be able to tap into them.
Feeling the gossamer thread that reaches from me to each of them, I pull in a breath, then push it back out with controlled slowness. Infusing the air with all the reassurance I can, I send it to them.
“It’s going to be okay, guys,” I whisper.
Pakak licks her nose, a sign of nervousness, but she sits nonetheless. I lean over to the adjacent cage, doing the same. It’s not much, but it’s something considering how stressful this whole process is going to be for them.
When I look up, I find Hunter watching me. I don’t know why, but I blush. It could be because he just saw me do something no-one here but Josh knows I’m capable of. Or it could be the intensity in his gaze that has my skin heating. There’s so much emotion in those molten eyes that I don’t know where one starts and the other finishes.
How could he look at me like that if there isn’t something pulling us together?
My mouth parts, my breath disintegrating as the second draws out. But then he blinks, frowns, and looks away.
I start a little when Josh leans in. Looking up, I pretend I don’t see the glint in his eye. “You always were an overachiever.”
I shove him with my shoulder. He’s pointing out that even he’s noticed Hunter’s antisocial tendencies. But it also means Josh noticed the look Hunter and I just exchanged. “Coming from the guy who read medical texts as bedtime stories for his little sisters.”
His face sobers a little. “You know what you’re doing?” His hazel gaze flickers to Hunter and back. “There’s aiming high and then trying to achieve the impossible.”
He’s talking about Hunter’s loner reputation. But he hasn’t seen what I’ve seen.
Plus, I think he could be my wolf…
“Technically, I was impossible.”
My parents, and their amazing connection, defied the rules everyone believed were set in stone by bonding and then having me. Maybe that’s why the possibility of something existing between Hunter and me feels more than hypothetical.
It’s why even the surreptitious glance Hunter just took is enough to have me believing.
Josh sighs. “Is this like the time you were determined that a certain litter of pups was going to survive despite the loss of their mother?”
The mention of Achak tugs at my heart. There’s still been no sign of the wolf I raised and released. I lower my gaze, my voice dropping to a barely-there whisper. “It could be more.”
Josh sucks in a breath. “You could be really disappointed, Ava.”
What he means is I could be really hurt. I look up to find him looking down at me, concern, maybe fear pinching his face tight.
And he’s right. I’ve led a safe, sheltered existence as the world of Were and Fae wait to see whatever it is I’m supposed to do. Well, I’ve found something, someone, who has me wanting to be someone who can fulfill that.
I shove my shoulder into his hard chest again. “You’ll have to practice doing stitches just in case this all falls apart.”
In case I fall apart.
Josh wraps his arm around me, tugging on my hair like he always has. “I’ll always be here.”
I hug him back. “I know.”
Hunter stalks past us, his frown deeper than usual. “Let’s get these guys loaded.”
Josh grins down at me. He leans in so he can whisper in my ear. “If you can get him to smile, then maybe you’ve got a chance.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “You know I have enough unrealistic expectations resting on my shoulders.”
With a chuckle, Josh releases me. “They’ve never been unrealistic.”
“Now, people.” Hunter is standing at the truck, arms crossed.
I sigh. I reckon I could do a dodo impersonation and Hunter wouldn’t crack a glimpse of a smile. Oh well, no time to ruminate on whether I have my hopes too high—we have wolves to release.
It takes all five of us to lift each crate onto their respective vehicle. Two slip side by side on the truck, whilst a third—the one containing Kayuh—we load onto the trailer behind the quad. We strap them down, all silent and serious, aware of how monumental what we’re about to do is.
Riley sighs as we step back to check out our handiwork. “I wish I was going with you.”
Hunter squeezes her shoulder as he strides past. “The less people the better. This is their first taste of the wild.”
She sighs again, this time deeper and louder. “I know. It’s just hard saying goodbye, you know?”
Josh walks over to stand beside her. “It’s totally worth it when we get to see a glimpse of them out there.” A lopsided grin tips up his lips. “Although we have trees for them to hide behind.”
Riley flicks back her fringe, rolling her eyes at him. “Pfft, they’d drop leaves in our nonexistent pool.” She brightens. “It would be pretty awesome to see them out there, though.”
Josh shifts in a little closer and their hands brush. “We’ll head out tomorrow.”
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The smile that graces Riley’s face seems to suck the air straight out of Josh. I don’t blame him, that girl seems to do everything at a hundred-and-ten percent. “It’s a date.”
Dawn smiles as she climbs into the truck. I wonder how Hunter feels about his little sister making that proclamation, only to find him shaking his head as he climbs onto the quad. “We need to get them there first.”
It seems he’s either happy for Riley to have found love…or this isn’t unusual behavior for her. Surely she’s not a girl to hook up with whoever catches her fancy, is she? Glancing at Josh though, I realize it won’t matter. Josh has his heart set and there’s nothing I could say to change his mind. I feel myself flush. Those words seem a little too close to the conversation we just had about me.
Striding over to the truck, I climb in the passenger side without glancing back. Maybe it’s time I had some pride.
Dawn turns on the ignition, the old engine rumbling to life. “Let’s get these guys out there.”
The truck unhurriedly accelerates and I know this is going to be a slow trip. The tundra tends to be rocky and bumpy, and the less we stress the wolves the better. Glancing in the rear vision mirror I see Hunter right behind us. The wind whips at his face and t-shirt, touching his skin in ways I haven’t. I have to look away and remind myself that handsome face has never smiled at me.
As we drive past the enclosures, I see Sakari standing at the fence. She watches the two-vehicle convoy and I wonder if she realizes who’s in the three crates we carry. Her ears erect, her gaze intense, I can’t help but feel she does. She’s watching her babies leave her.
Or maybe it’s because she’s watching her three pups head out to a life beyond the fence she stands behind.
As we head due north, I take in the uninterrupted space around us. In a couple of short months, this vista will be covered in snow. “This is different to how we did it at Jacksonville, isn’t it?”
Dawn nods. “We had more resources. These guys will have a hard release.”
I look out the car window; today the tundra looks lonely and harsh. “We have acclimation pens.”
“Exactly. Our wolves got to spend a couple of months there before we let them go out into the wild.” Dawn brushes her grey hair back from her face. “We also had more wolves.”
Which means there’s less room for error. And in captive breeding, that means you can’t afford to lose a life.
Glancing over my shoulder, I check the crates. They haven’t moved. Hunter is still behind us, maintaining the same steady pace. His face captures the significance of what we’re doing. Focused gaze, every muscle tense, he has the look of someone who’s willing to do what it takes. I settle back into the seat, feeling that same determination settle in my gut.
When Dawn pulls over, I notice again the sense of familiarity. There are certain places out here that have me feeling like I’ve been here before, but this is the strongest. I climb out, pulling the air into my lungs. It doesn’t smell familiar, but the rocky ground, the low shrubs…I know this place.
I’ve been here with my wolf.
Hunter parks beside us. Climbing off, he moves to the trailer. “Let’s get these guys unstrapped.”
Not how my wolf would have spoken. That beautiful, white Were was loving and fun and everything was…easy. He never looked like he wished I were anywhere but here.
And I haven’t seen him since I arrived on Evelyn Island. The past couple of weeks have been the most dreamless I’ve had in two years.
I move to the back of the truck. “I’ve got Pakak.”
Dawn is already undoing Desna.
There’s a growl from within Desna’s crate telling us the sedatives are wearing off. The timing is just right, except I can feel how scared they are after the drive out here. Just like I did when we left, I send calming energy through our threads. Their terror dies down a bit after a few seconds, but they all remain on edge. That’s a good thing. They’re about to fend for themselves.
One by one, we lift each crate off—Dawn and me at the front, Hunter and his Were strength at the back. We line them up like blocks, each next to each other, all facing towards the tundra.
Dawn takes her place behind the first. “Get behind one each.”
I take my place behind the center crate, Hunter takes the last. I’ve done this a few times before, and there’s always such a sense of being part of something important. I glance at Hunter—this is his first time.
He’s staring down at the crate, his perma-frown in place. I get his unease, so much is riding on these three arctic wolves. But it also means he’s missing out on experiencing the hope these guys carry.
I lean over a little. “They’re about to get the best surprise ever.”
Hunter’s gaze shoots up and connects with mine. “They are, aren’t they?”
I nod, letting the excitement of this moment show on my face. “This is what you’ve been working towards, Hunter.”
He glances down at the crate, out toward the horizon, and then back at me. His copper gaze is a little wide-eyed as he opens his mouth to speak.
Dawn undoes the bolt on the top of her crate. “Let’s give them what they need, guys.”
I snap back, knowing we need to get this done as quickly as possible. Sliding back my own bolt I hear Hunter do his.
Dawn looks at us both. “One, two, three.”
We all lift the door of the cages up and they slide with a whoosh. The three crates now stand open, the wolves inside free to leave. There’s silence, my guess everyone is doing exactly what I’m doing—holding their breath as we wait for the first wolf to step out. All we need to do is wait for curiosity to overtake caution.
Quicker than I expected, Desna’s head pops out. He scents the air for the wealth of information it can provide him—the current weather, who and what are nearby, how many of them, whether he should be ready to fight or flight. Like he sensed the movement, Kayuh is next, his big, white body emerging from the cage. Last, and the most cautious, is Pakak. She spends long seconds scanning the horizon, acclimatizing like Dorothy would have when she landed in Oz.
Dawn’s hand is on her chest as she watches. I glance at Hunter and find him watching them just as intensely. I wish I could move closer like Josh had with Riley, brush my hand against his to show him he’s not alone. These three beautiful animals are about to leave. As exciting as it is, Riley was right. It’s hard to say goodbye.
One by one, the three wolves leave the safety of their crate, a metaphorical birth from captivity. Who will be the first to leave?
When Achak went through this, he took two steps, sniffed the air, then loped off. There was one glance back over his shoulder, his canine gaze catching mine, before he broke into a sprint. Dad had figured we’d hardly see him from then on, but I hadn’t been hurt or worried. Our thread had always been strong—I didn’t need him to be something he wasn’t for us to stay connected. In fact, asking him to stay would have weakened our unique bond.
The three wolves contract together, seeking safety in each other’s familiarity. I’m not surprised when Desna is the first to make a move. Like the leader his name implies, he starts trotting forward, eyes set on the horizon. Kayuh takes his lead and falls behind. Pakak, on the other hand, isn’t ready to follow blindly.
She takes a few steps, but pauses, looking back at us. She retraces her steps, coming in closer.
I feel Dawn tense. There’s always a small chance that a wolf will take the opportunity to attack, but I know that’s not what’s happening here.
This is the worry with captive breeding—the familiarity with humans. Wolves in the wild understand that humans are dangerous. Naturally shy, they prefer as much distance between themselves and humans. Wolves who’ve been fed by humans become confused. These animals have been raised by those who love them and are fighting for their survival. They’ve never seen the threat we can pose.
Pakak stops again.
Dawn tsks, and I’m surprised at he
r annoyance. Hunter looks to me, and for the first time, I realize I’m more of an expert than he is.
He thinks it’s because I’ve been involved in captive breeding. But he doesn't realize that I know Pakak is torn, and it’s her thread to Hunter, the one that is glowing the brightest, that has her wanting to stay.
“You need to tell her it’s okay to go.” Hunter does that blink of his and I jut my chin towards Pakak. “She’s finding it hard to let go.”
“I’ve barely even touched her.”
Which is exactly what should be done with a wolf you plan on releasing to the wild.
I shrug. “Connections are built on more than touch.”
KJ and Riley told me the stories of the sibling pup they lost, and how Hunter had stayed around, practically on twenty-four-hour watch, as Pakak, the other pup who was poisoned, slowly recovered.
Turning back, he takes a few steps around the crate. Dawn takes a step forward but I put out an arm to stop her. Glancing at her, I wonder how she can’t see it. “He just needs a sec.”
It’s then that I notice how thin her own thread with Pakak is. Learning to ignore the threads is something I’ve managed to do in this isolated corner of the world. It’s a skill I know will come in handy when I head back to civilization, one I’ve been practicing. Except now as I tune into it, I see Dawn’s thread, a Fae Elder’s, is almost emaciated. Thin and spindly, there’s barely a hair-width connecting her to the white wolf.
Dawn glances at Hunter, who’s slowly moving towards Pakak. “He needs to be careful.”
She really doesn’t see it. Maybe this is her way of dealing with the loss of the pups she coordinated the birth of. “She only needs one thing.”
Hunter walks around the crates and stops a few feet away from Pakak. She looks at him, tail high and alert, eyes not leaving his. He stands there for long seconds and Dawn shifts beside me. But I’m already smiling. Hunter knows what he needs to do.
Turning, Hunter takes in the wide expanse of landscape before them, then takes a step forward. Pakak watches as he takes several more. “Remember? You’re that one who gets into everything.”