The Radical (Unity Vol.1)

by Lynch, S. M.

The next morning I met Ryken outside the rent-a-car point on the outskirts of the airport. After our late-night chat we had decided on meeting at the reasonable hour of 11am, though I still felt crappy, having barely slept at all.

  I was running out of clothes and had to pick up a granddad shirt from the airport store. Buttoning at the top, I left a couple of buttons loose, for whatever reason. Yes… I was insanely attracted to the man. No, I didn’t trust him. Yes, I wanted to pick his brains until he told me all the stuff he was clearly harboring. Shit, I wanted him. Not like I wanted cake… like I wanted… I couldn’t even bring myself to say the words, even in my head.

  He was nearly wearing the same clothes as yesterday but had put on a brown sweater instead of the polo neck. We chose to take a hydro-car instead of going via public transport; we would not be able to talk freely on a train. Plus, if there were any authorities trailing us, they wouldn’t have time to tamper with our random pick of vehicles. It was Ryken who chose which car to take, scanning his U-Card across the self-service panel by the side of the vehicle before letting us both inside.

  ‘Drive safely and have a good day‒’

  Once we were on our way, having tapped Stratford into the navigation system, we got to talking. With the road and poly-tunnel fields whizzing by us on the 10-lane motorway, I wondered aloud, ‘Don’t you think it’s strange, even dare I say more than just a little bit fateful, that we ran into each other like that in the airport?’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Ryken took his concentration away from the wheel, letting the auto-driver system take over as he turned to me.

  ‘You know, you being who you are, and me being a reporter, a very well-known one who works for the only paper in the world that dares to investigate Officium. It all seems eerily set-up.’

  Ryken became defensive. ‘Well, I didn’t arrange it. All I know is that we met and now we’re off on what is probably going to be a wild goose chase.’

  I didn’t miss the annoyance in his tone. When my loose tresses brushed his hand quite by accident, his fist clenched and he pulled away, scratching at his skin. I watched his hands in the daylight and the silken hairs decorating them captivated me.

  ‘For someone who constantly works on the assumptions of theory, you’re pretty pragmatic aren’t you?’

  ‘I’m not a natural scientist, that’s true. I’m more of a “let’s make a plan and stick to it” kind of guy.’

  ‘By the way, I didn’t set this up either, if you were wondering…’

  ‘Oh, don’t worry,’ he chuckled, ‘it didn’t cross my mind for a second that a woman such as yourself would throw herself across my path like that.’

  ‘Huh, yeah. Keep tryin’. You know I won’t give you the satisfaction.’

  He raised his eyebrows and a few minutes of silence passed.

  ‘What makes you think Mara will talk to us anyway?’

  ‘I heard she has affiliations with certain people I have connections with. You’re better off not knowing,’ I assured him.

  ‘The plot thickens…’ he trailed off, and I watched as he mused over my words. ‘You know, I read your work. I don’t think there is a person who doesn’t. I enjoy some of it… those character assassinations you write, those are something. I mean, all the shit you dig up on them…’

  He was talking about the way I had taken many a politician down. Then again, it didn’t have to be a statesman. It could be anyone… famous surgeon. Philanthropist. Banker. Whoever. If I built up a rap sheet big enough, I ousted them for whatever they had done wrong. It was just a bit of fun, really. It was the small things that really undid Officium’s people, such as uncovering foreign holidays they had taken without their bosses’ permission. That was always a good one. If you worked for Officium, you had no life. Simple. If you tried to live outside of their realms, you were for it. The best instances of my work were those cases where people who were so wrapped up in villainy had been undone by something so small. Such as an association Officium didn’t like. Sure, anyone could lie, steal or act unlawfully, but if you were friends with someone Officium didn’t like – such as someone who publicly stood against them like me – you were dead. Probably why I didn’t keep many friends. I mean, look at Ulrich.

  It was Ryken’s tone that had my instincts raised. I knew he was heading for that file and I didn’t want the case re-opened. Ulrich was dead, what could we do about it?

  And anyway, I had some words of warning for him…

  ‘You think it pleases me that I have to work this way… splashing their misdemeanors inside our paper like some kind of sideshow? I don’t like the work I do, Ryken. In fact I find it demeaning. But how else am I meant to work? How else am I meant to get to them? I take what little victories I can get. If I have to set them up for slaughter, fine. I am not the one with the noose round their necks. They do that all by themselves.’

  He shook his head. ‘You could do something better… you’re intelligent enough. Why this, if it is so demeaning? I don’t understand.’

  ‘Work for them instead, you mean? Kill for them? I would rather kill myself. I want nothing to do with anyone who has been in their employment. They blacken souls and drain hope…’ I paused, scowling out of the window, ‘…a creative soul such as myself has no other option. My writing might be a laughing stock to some, but to me, it is helping people… it is giving them a semblance of hope that there are some of us working to rid our society of the cruelty of others.’

  ‘I don’t buy it. I know there’s more you don’t want to say.’

  ‘Whatever.’

  So then he just went for the jugular, obviously feeling brave.

  ‘Anyway… how did you and Ulrich meet?’

  I obliged him – I would deceive him that I was affected and then turn the tables.

  ‘We both minored in ethical studies at NYU.’

  ‘Why ethical studies?’

  He could enquire all he liked but I fully intended to cull his persistence…

  ‘I dunno. I suppose I had this romantic notion that journalism could be ethical, should be ethical, and needed to be carried out ethically.’

  I rubbed at my knees out of agitation. He wanted to understand me but the truth of me was the thing I hid from the most.

  ‘So you’re not really the person who cons her victims with false affection, maybe even bribes them or threatens violence, so that they spill their guts?’

  ‘Just say the word, Doctor Innocence. Say the word and I shall give you a demonstration.’

  I was so ratty and still suffering deep, impenetrable levels of exhaustion. The throb at the front of my head and the dizziness I was struggling with made me feel like the only thing to put me straight again would be a hospital stay and induced sleep. You know what they say about retirement killing people… well only a few days away from the “office” was nearly killing me.

  I had been up all night with nervous excitement at finally getting closer to a revelation, no matter how small. I had also spent several hours reading every news article ever written about Doctor Hardy, discovering the various acts of bravery he had performed in the Army and the George Cross he won for saving 15 people from a burning bus during one of the London riots of the early 2050s.

  He had to be a goddam hero, didn’t he? Ugh.

  I avoided his eyes and sniffed. ‘If you think you can possibly psychoanalyze me, be my guest. Believe what you want.’

  I didn’t like the person he was insinuating I was, but then I didn’t want to be myself either.

  ‘What was it with Ulrich then? Sex? Or just intimidation?’

  By that point I was doing anything to avoid his eyes. My foot tapped against the dash and my hands were kept beneath my thighs to avoid punching his lights out. He was picking too close to the bone. Ulrich was still a raw subject.

  ‘If you want to keep your pretty face intact, you ought to button it Hardy.’

  ‘Come on Seraph, it might help talking about it.’

  ‘Please, stop. If you k
now what is good for you, shut up. Please.’

  ‘I can’t help feeling inquisitive.’

  I could feel the anger simmering. ‘Talking is bullshit. I only know about acting, that’s all I know – acting the hard bitch to get a story, playing tough to force people into submission. Being so unapproachable that asshats like you just leave me the hell alone.’

  ‘Please, don’t–’

  ‘Don’t, what, Hardy? Huh?’ I turned to him, my eyes blazing. ‘What do you want, I mean, what? What? You want a confession? That I feel shitty about Ulrich? What? That maybe he and I could have been somethin’? Yeah? You want it, do you? My confession that I am not as cold as they all say?’

  ‘No, no–’ He looked horrified.

  ‘Ha! Not so tough are we? Look at you! A stuttering wreck in front of a bird with big tits and long hair! Two hundred fifty pounds of meat and you’re reduced to a quivering wreck? We’re all just driven by our impulses, Doctor Hardy. So, so what if I decided to negate my own happiness? It makes me the only one who can do this. I don’t have anything I want or need. Means I can live alone, work alone. If it gives me the slightest chance of getting to them, it is a small price to pay.’

  ‘Ulrich loved you, didn’t he?’

  ‘Please drop it,’ I held my hand up between us to block him, ‘de-fuckin’-sist, yeah?’

  ‘Seraph‒’

  ‘No.’

  ‘No, what?’

  ‘Leave it, Ryken. We are done.’

  ‘I want to know, why?’

  Why won’t he drop it?

  ‘Why, what?’

  ‘Why you turned up at the car place this morning. Why you are here with me now. You could have fled, gone anywhere, be anywhere else by now if you wanted to be.’

  ‘Forgotten the grounded jets have we?’

  ‘You know exactly what I mean.’

  ‘Do I? Really?’

  ‘A night of thinking might have made you rethink meeting me this morning. You could have gotten away. But you are here. You are still with me.’

  I needed to vanquish all his romantic notions. ‘I know what you want Ryken, but I’m never going to give it to you. You men are all the same. None of you could possibly understand what makes a woman like me tick.’

  ‘Try me.’

  ‘Would it make you feel better if I just fucked you too? Well, you can just keep dreaming.’

  ‘No it wouldn’t make me feel better actually.’

  Oh god, those shoulders of his. Jesus. I couldn’t think straight.

  ‘I don’t have to explain my methods to you. You think that being a heroic Army doctor is honorable. Wow, let’s all congratulate you. Let’s pat you on the back and give you a juicy fat pension at the end of your career. You ought to get inside my head and see some of the things I’ve seen. My job puts me in the thick of it with the scum of all scum. Some things simply cannot be healed with a band-aid.’

  ‘Seraph, I’m not your enemy, trust me. I really do want to be your friend.’

  I couldn’t handle his obstinacy and desperately needed to silence him. I overrode the seatbelt mechanism and the vehicle computer started beeping with a warning to reattach it. Ignoring the noise, I launched myself toward him to straddle his lap.

  He was quicker. He took hold of my body and pulled me close, so we were nose to nose. He had my hair so tight in his hands that I couldn’t move forward any more if I had wanted to.

  His chest was heaving and I saw the pectorals beneath his sweater were swollen and deliciously round, each like a pillow crying out for my cheek.

  ‘I think you are grieving, hurt, sad, tired. Please let me in.’

  His words were hateful. I tried to move forward to kiss him but he moved one hand over my mouth to cover it. He was too strong, superhumanly stacked, and I was more vulnerable than I ever had been. He was a monster of a man.

  ‘Don’t move,’ he insisted. ‘Close your eyes.’

  I did so only because I wanted him to get it over with and prove me right: he would act with his dick and nothing else.

  Instead, he inflamed my desire tenfold. He swept his lips across my cheek and his hot breath hit my ear. He smelt my hair and stroked it. He rubbed his nose in my throat and breathed deeply.

  ‘You don’t need me to tell you how beautiful you are, I think you know. What I want to know,’ he insisted, stroking his knuckles across my other cheek, ‘is why nobody worthy has come along for you yet and shown you that life really isn’t worth shit without someone there to share your problems with.’

  A lump formed in my throat but I still mistrusted him and everything he made me feel. Knowing he was now weak, I saw my chance to teach him a lesson. I reached for him and we immediately kissed open-mouthed. I tasted coffee and man. We were such a good fit, lining up perfectly. My hands on his shoulders, I pulled away and saw him breathless, his eyes drowning in lust.

  ‘Stop working me over. I don’t need that shit, Seraph.’

  His emotional expression jolted me from my anger. I narrowed my eyes but he pulled me closer, his fingers shaking as he stroked my cheek.

  ‘You’re exquisite,’ he said.

  I involuntarily shut my eyes and he moved in, brushing his mouth against mine to gradually deepen the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let myself go.

  His lips were incredible, like weightless silk yet so insistent, and my stomach dropped out of me. My heart was on fire, I was aroused, everything inside me became rigid and hungry. Our tongues circled and his grip in my hair tightened. I envisaged what it’d be like if we were in bed ‒ slow and sensual ‒ like his kiss. I wanted us to make love as soon as possible; his mouth at my throat and my breasts against his body. Images spun around my mind like I was on a merry-go-round.

  Then I remembered. He’d never understand why I lived like this. He’d give up on me, just like all the rest. My work was an obsession that outweighed everything else.

  I pressed a palm to his groin as I pulled away, his panting matching my own. ‘So, what is it you want from me, Ryken?’

  His groan was so sexy and he asserted, ‘You want me. Deny it. I dare you.’

  He countered me, his confidence renewed, digging his fingers in my butt and squeezing tight. He rubbed me against his clothed shaft and I gave myself away, moaning into his mouth. I got so angry and snarled but he stroked his nose against mine again and snickered.

  ‘Don’t underestimate me, Seraph. I’ve seen bodies mutilated, pulped, limbs hanging off, tongues hanging out, guts spilling for yards. I watch people too. I know their desires and weaknesses just as well as you. I have studied the human form for many years. I know my way around that field. Yet what I cannot and will not accept is that a woman as deep as you doesn’t want… someone. Anyone.’

  I saw the pity cross his features and was absolutely boiling with anger all of a sudden. I swatted his hands away.

  ‘Fine. You want my confession? My folks died. Kicked the bucket. Left me alone. Worst thing about it? I never knew them, okay? I didn’t feel a thing when they died. All I feel is a burning urge to find out why they died, who killed them, for what reason? The distant relative I buried a couple days ago… she meant more to me than them. A thousand times more. So if I refuse to talk, refuse to open up, it is because I am damn well grieving and you will damn well get over yourself and just let me get on with that, yeah? Otherwise I will take this show off the road and fuck you up.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he pouted, his voice tender.

  ‘I may do things that upset your idea of what a woman like me should be doin’ with her life, but d’you know what? Everything I do is for a cause, and a good one at that. Call me a whore, or whatever you like. At least I don’t do anything that I know will keep me awake at night. And judging from the bags under your eyes, your bloodshot eyeballs and false air of cool, I’d say there was somethin’ keeping you up into the early hours.’

  In the daylight, I had got the measure of him. I continued, ‘I’d say there’s somethin’ eating
away at you, somethin’ so terrible, that you can’t even admit it to yourself, let alone anyone else. If you care about yourself even a little, you won’t ever question me again, because I am one ruthless bastard Ryken, I’ll freely admit that. I’ll admit whatever you have to throw at me. I do what I do because it simply has to be done. The rumors about me are every bit true… and now the big man has been brought down to where he belongs.’

  He lowered his eyes and I saw the look of astonishment on his face. I got up off his lap and threw myself back into my own seat. I turned my back on him to look out of the passenger window, spending the rest of the journey in silence. Perhaps I was good at hiding it, but I cried for the rest of the journey, without his comfort whatsoever. I needed it, wanted it and feared it like nothing else.

  CHAPTER 15

  We got to Stratford-upon-Avon a little later. It was a quiet town surrounded by miles of unkempt countryside, but seemed to have survived against the odds, even after most had moved to the bigger cities. Ryken parked our air-conditioned vehicle in a lay-by on the outskirts of town and our lungs had to adjust to the air outside once more. A tinge of sewerage filled the air, as well as the scents of burger vendors, vile public washhouses filled with layabouts and a familiar stench pulsing from a nearby recycling centre.

  ‘Same smell as York,’ I muttered, but he ignored me. I didn’t blame him. I would fight him again if he tried to agitate me once more.

  Like my aunt’s home, the town was now a struggling recycling centre, yet still a gathering place for theatrical talent.

  We wound our way through the streets, saw huge apartment blocks dotted all about, as well as office buildings, Mercy Inns and Sanctuaries. Officium owned everything, including these chains of hotels, shops and rest stops. One thing I’d heard wasn’t theirs however, were all those self-serve carts dotted about – and the truth was, the food from them was better.

  People on the streets scampered indoors at the sight of us. With neither of us being malnourished or dressed in the same rags as others, residents either thought we were emissaries or some other form of malfeasance. It wouldn’t be long before our presence reached the authorities. Though we didn’t say it, Ryken and I were in silent understanding about it: we would soon have to fight. I was looking forward to that more than another grilling from the delectable doctor.