He gave a small shrug. “Have you got a better idea?”
Kat and I surveyed the chaos around us, and then in almost perfect unison said, “Bowling it is.”
The lanes were brightly lit and Taren chose one smack in the middle. He stood confidently at the line, poised to release the ball. And then he did—right into the gutter.
“Wow,” Kat said when his second ball did the same, “that's going to be hard to top.”
I stood up to take my turn, which also resulted in a gutter ball. On my follow-up, I managed to take down two pins, but only after adopting the stand-with-wide-legs-and-roll-it-with-two-hands stance that all the little kids were doing. I took a bow all the same.
Kat jumped up and grabbed a hot pink ball, which she then held overhead while she twirled around, releasing it almost directly into the gutter.
“Maybe we should ask for bumper rails,” I said.
“Or…we could score on style points,” Kat said. “I think that last effort was worth at least six.”
She hoisted a ball as it emerged from the machine and strutted like a supermodel down a catwalk. She turned, struck a fierce pose, and released the ball backwards through her legs. From then on, bowling got way more fun. Taren was fond of air-guitaring, while I was more comfortable with interpretive performances. At the end of our first game we realized we'd been too busy laughing to keep score, but that didn't keep us from starting a second one. Kat went up to the snack bar to grab us some soda leaving Taren and me alone for the first time since we'd kissed.
“How are you doing?” he asked. “That was a pretty close call you had earlier.”
I nodded. “I was freaked at first, but… I kind of need to get used to it, right? Until the Gateway is locked it probably isn't safe for me to leave the Institute again.”
“They should have never let you leave in the first place,” Taren said, his eyes darkening.
“Annys and Master Dogan were doing me a favor by letting me come home. They couldn't have known I’d be in any danger.”
The set of Taren's jaw made me think he was holding something back. I probed further.
“What happened, anyway?” I asked. “Why did you fight with Annys? And how long are you suspended for?”
“I wish I knew. Once she cut me, I didn't stick around to find out. As to why…I guess it's because Annys is being Annys. Which is usually a good thing, but lately we haven't seen eye to eye on much.”
I thought about going up against Annys and knew I'd probably never manage it. Remembering how dangerous Taren had looked when confronting Kat, I could easily believe he had.
“Heads up,” Kat said. She was balancing three sodas and a bag of chips.
I jumped up to help her, disappointed that I hadn't gotten the chance to learn more before she'd returned.
Lucky Strike closed at two a.m., and by the time we got to the car and made it back to where Kat was parked at the club, we were on track for our three a.m. target. I prayed my mom had finished her frenzy and was asleep. Taren pulled up beside Kat's car and let the engine idle.
“I'm going to follow you home,” he said, “just to make sure you get there safe. After that, your mother's detail can take over.”
“Em, would you mind riding with Taren?” Kat asked as she opened her door. “I'm going to give Magda a call, and I could use some privacy.”
The move was transparent, and I didn't help matters by responding, “Sure,” just a little too quickly.
Once Kat was safely in her car, Taren and I pulled away. We rode in silence until I couldn't stand it anymore, the words coming out in a rush.
“Why would it be easier if I thought you didn't like me?” I asked.
His brow furrowed.
“Because I'm afraid one of us is going to get hurt,” he said, “and I don't want that to happen.”
“Why would one of us get hurt?” I asked, sensing he meant more than just typical guy-girl stuff.
“There are things going on,” he said, “things I can't talk to you about. Not yet.”
He came to a stop in front of my apartment building and I wished we still had father to go.
“Why not? I haven't blabbed any of the other million secrets I'm keeping.”
“It's not you I don't trust,” he said.
“Then what—”
“Please, Ember, can we just leave it for now?” His voice was pleading and he placed his hand on my cheek. “I'm not sorry I kissed you. I wish I'd done it sooner. But I need you to trust me. Can you do that for just a little while longer?”
I responded by leaning in and touching my lips to his. A spark of electricity passed between us, and I don't think I was the only one who trembled.
She'll never forgive me.
I pulled back with a start. That hadn’t been the Voice.
“What?” Taren said. “What is it?”
I shook my head to clear it. “I-I don't know, I heard something when we kissed. It wasn't the Demon—it was…something else.”
“Maybe you're starting to hear the other demonic voices,” he said. “What did it say?”
“It said, ‘She'll never forgive me.’”
Taren's eyes widened briefly, but his voice was calm when he said, “I'm sure it was nothing. All kinds of weird things run through my brain.”
I wasn't convinced. It hadn't sounded like an errant thought, it had sounded like a voice speaking inside my mind. Maybe he was right and I was beginning to hear the other demons now. It was an unsettling thought.
By this time, Kat had parked and was waiting in the driveway.
“I better go,” I said and opened the door. “And to answer your question, yes, I can trust you a little while longer.”
I smiled at him, and he smiled back, but it seemed forced, like his mind was already on something else.
“Get some sleep if you can,” he said, “and I'll see you back at the Institute tomorrow afternoon. Annys and I have some things to discuss.”
Kat and I paused at my front door. The lights were off and all was quiet. I breathed a sigh of relief as I pulled my keys from my purse. Once inside, I left the lights off. Kat grabbed her blanket from the sofa and began to follow me upstairs.
“What are you doing?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.
“I'm sleeping on the floor of your bedroom. If anything happens, I'm going to be there this time.”
The glint in her eye told me not to argue, and I had to admit, her presence would make me feel safer.
“Thanks,” I said.
We crept upstairs together.
20
The next morning, I woke before Kat did. In truth, I hadn't really slept—more like fitfully dozed. Whether I was more shaken by the attack or the new—possibly demonic—voice popping into my head, I felt the need to be on guard.
I stepped carefully over Kat and made my way downstairs. No coffee smell this morning. I wasn't surprised, just sad. I pulled the grounds from the freezer and brewed a pot in the now immaculate coffee maker. The whole place was spotless. The grout gleamed, the stove sparkled, and a faint smell of bleach hung in the air. I entered the living room to find that the furniture had been rearranged. I liked it. I picked up a pillow and gave it a shake—no cloud of dust this time. I set it back down, making sure to leave it as perfectly placed as I'd found it. I went to the pathos plant in the corner. She'd wiped down each one of the leaves and trimmed the yellow ones. Small wonder she was still sleeping.
Back in the kitchen I made myself some cereal. I didn't want to wait any longer for coffee, so I held my mug underneath the stream and let it fill before setting the pot back in its place.
I was munching corn flakes when what sounded like a herd of elephants came down the stairs and Kat burst into the kitchen.
She stopped short when she saw me and said, “Do not do that to me again. You almost gave me a heart attack.”
“Sorry,” I said. “I was hungry and it looked like you were going to sleep for a while.”
“You move, I move,” she said, grabbing a mug from the cupboard. “That's how this is going to work until I get you safely back to the Institute.”
“Got it,” I said.
“How's your mom doing?” she asked.
“I'm not sure yet. If history is any indication, she'll probably spend most of the day in bed. After that…if she stays off of her meds, things will only get worse.”
I knew my tone was matter-of-fact, and it wasn't that I didn't care—I had just seen it all before. There were only so many times I could get my hopes up. Still, I was grateful for the fun time we’d had at the thrift shop, and glad that Kat had gotten to see her on a good day, and not just a bad one.
It was after eleven, and I was expected back at the Institute by one o’clock. When we’d finished breakfast, Kat and I worked on packing some stuff to take back with me. While she was concerned with clothing, I was concerned with art supplies, books, and finding my iPod. Kat informed me that until I was a second year I wouldn't be allowed to bring my cell phone and to be prepared to have my bags searched once I got back. First year students were considered too fragile to have unregulated contact with the outside world. By the time we'd filled my oversized duffle and a backpack, it was time to leave.
After we loaded my things into the car, I went back inside to say goodbye to my mother. I knew she wouldn't want to see Kat right now, and Kat seemed to understand.
I knocked, but when there was no answer, I entered my mother's room. She was snoring softly. She'd passed out fully clothed on top of her comforter.
“Hey, Mom,” I said, kneeling beside her bed, “it's time for me to get going.”
Her eyes fluttered open. “So soon? Can't you stay another day?” Her voice was husky with sleep.
“No, I'm sorry. But I'll come back soon.” I felt guilty making a promise I wasn't sure I could keep, but I wanted to avoid a scene.
She groped until she found my hand and squeezed it. “I can call them—the people at the Institute. I'll tell them I'll bring you back tomorrow. What's one day?”
I shook my head. “I've got to go, Mom. I love you.”
“Please don't leave me,” she said, her voice cracking. “If you leave, you're not ever coming back. I need you, Em.”
She did. I knew she did. But I also knew that the Institute needed me. And not for selfish reasons, but because together we needed to find a way to lock the Gateway again, lest the world be overrun by demons. The breaches would only get worse; when I connected to the Gate, I’d sensed how weak it was. It was only a matter of time before it failed completely. I couldn't let that happen, even if it meant breaking my mother's heart in order to save her life.
I pulled my hand away. “I'm going, Mom. I love you, but I'm going.”
I stood and walked to the door. Her sobs were quiet, each one pricking my heart. I imagined her face buried in the pillow, but I didn't turn back. I shut the door behind me.
By the time I got into the car I'd wiped my eyes of tears, but they felt puffy. I'm sure Kat could sense I wasn't up for conversation, and we made the drive back to the Institute in relative silence.
Winding up Laurel Canyon, I was focused on nothing but keeping out the voices and the motion sickness. For the most part it worked, and as we approached the front gate, I felt a sense of pride.
Three Guardians stepped in front of Kat's car as we approached the guard shack. All looked the worse for wear.
“Where have you been, Kat?” one of them asked when he recognized her. “We needed you last night.”
“Why—what happened? Was there another breach?” Her tone was anxious.
“During the ritual,” the Guardian replied. “Why weren't you here?”
“What ritual? What are you talking about?” Kat sounded as confused as I felt.
“To reseal the Gateway. The Elders called upon every Keeper, every Guardian, and every student to help. Word went out at dinner. Everyone was there except you and Taren. And her, I guess.” He pointed to me and a chill ran down my spine.
My mind raced with thoughts too quickly for me to pluck them out of the air. Was it possible that this “ritual” hadn’t been planned when I’d spoken with Annys and Master Dogan? Even if not, why wouldn’t they have called us back? If anyone was qualified to help re-seal the Gateway, it was me. Wasn’t it?
“Who was hurt?” Kat demanded. “Did we lose anyone?”
The Guardian shook his head. “Thankfully, no. With so many Guardians present, we didn't lose anyone, but dozens were injured. At least three-dozen more hostiles escaped, and the Gate is in worse shape than ever. You really didn't know about this?”
She gave him a flat stare. “If I had known, don't you think I'd have been here, Adam?”
She then slapped the steering wheel and cursed.
A conclusion was solidifying in my mind. Annys and Master Dogan hadn’t wanted me present at the ritual. It was impossible to think there was any other explanation. But it made no sense. I was their best chance at repairing the Gateway—they themselves had told me as much. Why was I training so hard otherwise? Why was I leaving my mother to cry alone if I was just going to be pushed aside? Anger welled up from deep within me, causing me to clench and unclench my fists. A moment later, I jerked on the door handle and launched myself out of the car.
“Ember, where are you going?” I heard Kat jump out the car, heard her footsteps behind me.
“I'm going to talk to some Elders,” I said, quickening my pace.
Perhaps we should talk first.
I'll deal with you later, I told the Demon, pushing it to the recesses of my mind.
Wrong.
21
I was falling, tumbling through endless darkness, being pulled by a force stronger than gravity. Just when I was sure I would fall forever, I landed, face-down, the impact reverberating through me. It took a moment before I could move. Was my back broken? I was sure my cheek had shattered. But when I was able to lift my head and probe it with my fingertips, it seemed intact. I struggled to sit back on my heels.
I was in a dark wasteland, the only light an eerie red glow that filtered through the blackest clouds I'd ever seen. Wind whipped at my hair and blew acrid smoke into my nostrils which made me double over in a fit of coughing. It subsided only to be replaced by retching. What came up wasn't the cereal I'd eaten for breakfast, but a tar-black slime that continued to coat my mouth no matter how much I spit. It tasted how I imagined a rotting corpse would smell. A scream ripped through the landscape, followed by a crunch that sounded like bones splintering, and I turned, wild-eyed, searching for a place to hide.
BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT? YOU CAN SEE WHY I AM SO DESPERATE TO LEAVE.
The voice was beyond loud, it crushed down upon my mind, allowing no other thought. I clutched at my temples, panting. Time passed differently in this world, and I had no way of knowing how long I'd really been here. Was Kat already racing to find someone to do a Retrieval, or had I not even collapsed to the ground yet in the human world?
IT ISN'T THE HUMANS’ WORLD. IT BELONGS TO THE DAEMONS. IT WAS STOLEN FROM US, AND NOW IS THE TIME TO TAKE IT BACK.
I howled in pain and had to stop myself from beating my head against the cracked earth. I had to hold on. It couldn't be much longer, it couldn't—
YOU WILL NOT GO BACK UNTIL I RELEASE YOU, AND I WILL NOT RELEASE YOU UNTIL YOU HAVE SEEN.
My mouth hung open and my throat contracted, but no more sound came out. There was no voice left in me, none but its.
The landscape around me shifted and blurred, and I had the sensation of flying, even though I remained on my hands and knees, gripping the dirt. It wasn’t me, but my surroundings that were moving. When it finally stopped, I opened my eyes and everything had changed.
I found myself in the passenger seat of a car. I couldn't will myself to move; I was just an observer in this body, not the animating force. We passed a small market and I could tell we were traveling through Laurel Canyon.
“I wish you
would tell me what's bothering you,” a male voice said.
I turned to see a handsome man in his mid-forties with a salt and pepper beard. “It's nothing, honey, I'm fine.” The voice wasn't mine, but I knew it had passed through the lips of the person whose body I was inhabiting.
“It's not nothing, you toss and turn all night lately. Are you having nightmares again?” The man's face was etched with concern.
“No,” I said, “it's just headaches. I made an appointment with Dr. Wilson to get checked out, but I'm sure there's nothing to worry about.” I reached across and rested my hand on his leg, giving it a squeeze. I looked up to see the Institute coming into view. A Guardian stepped out of the guard shack.
“Morning, Richard, Gretchen. Have a good shift,” he said and hit the code for the gate to open.
The world spun and for a moment I was back in the wasteland, back in my own body. But then—
I was pacing back and forth in a dining room.
“You're being completely irrational. You're not making any sense,” Richard said. He was seated at the table, his expression pleading.
I stopped pacing. “Stop calling me irrational! I know what I saw.” My voice boomed.
Richard stood and grabbed me by the shoulders. “Gretchen, listen to me, please. This isn't you talking. I can feel you slipping away. We have to get some help.”
Again my surroundings blurred, the motion making me queasy.
I was now in Master Dogan's office. All of the Elders, including Annys were gathered around his table. They looked tense—eyes tight, posture stiff.
“It's not that we don't have sympathy for what you're going through,” said a female Elder with dark hair, gray streaking her temples, “we just have no one to replace you yet.”
“The Centers are always the hardest to find, as you know,” said a plump man with thinning hair, “but we are trying.”
“Three more are due to graduate in the summer,” Annys said. “Surely you can wait until then to take a leave of absence.”
The Gateway Trilogy: Complete Series: (Books 1-3) Page 16