The firmness of my voice must have gotten through, because Mike placed her gently on the ground, put his jacket under her head, then took off running.
“Crystle,” I said, kneeling down. “Crystle, I’m here.”
Other than when Callie had needed a Retrieval after we’d escaped the nuthouse, I’d never witnessed one, much less performed one. My mind raced to remember something useful.
Her tether. What’s her tether?
“Crystle, listen to me. Right now as I speak, Michael is pumping those tree trunks he calls legs to get you help. That boy loves you, so you’d better get back here before you give him a heart attack.”
She didn’t stir and I began to panic. The less she moved in this world, the more she was trapped in the other.
What else? What am I supposed to do?
I didn’t know how to perform Retrievals. This was way above my pay grade. I scanned the grounds frantically but there wasn’t anyone else around.
“I need help,” I shouted to no one, to myself. “Help me!”
Keepers who were trained in Retrieval had a way of going in—of mentally piggy backing. It wasn’t telepathy, but I hadn’t learned how to do it yet.
Her breathing became even more shallow and a low moan escaped her lips.
“Come on, Crystle. Please come back.” I gripped her face in my hands, meaning to shake it side to side, but the second I touched her I was falling, being sucked into the demon world.
I careened through space, my arms pinwheeling in a vain attempt to slow my descent. The air buzzed and crackled around me. Deeper now, the wind howled as if alive.
“Crys—”
I slammed into the scorched earth, feeling as though I’d broken every bone in my body, but unlike the first time I’d been sucked into this hellish dimension, I knew it was an illusion. On shaky legs I forced myself to stand, fighting the nausea that came with the stench that permeated this world.
I didn’t have time to wonder how I’d gotten there, I needed to find Crystle and get out. I started to call out again, but her name froze in my throat. If she could hear me, so could a demon. Or many demons. I spun around wildly, scanning the barren landscape. No demons. And no Crystle.
We were linked, right? We had to be. Or I was using telepathy. Either way, I should be able to sense something. A direction to go...
Before I knew it I was running. Nothing changed in the parched landscape; the cracked earth continued for miles, rainless storm clouds roiled above. I felt certain I’d chosen the right direction, though that could have been because of how badly I wanted it to be the right direction.
I was about to call out, in frustration, in desperation, when the smallest movement caught my eye. I squinted, just able to make out Crystle’s wriggling fingertips. I covered the distance in seconds and saw that she had squeezed herself into one of the larger cracks in the earth.
“Oh my God, thank you,” she said, scrambling to her feet. “How do we get out of here?”
“I—I think you just follow me,” I said, doing my best to sound confident.
“Great,” she said. “Which way?”
But it wasn’t a place. I knew enough to know that. Crystle did too, if she’d been thinking clearly.
“Close your eyes,” I said, taking her hands.
When she had, I closed mine. “We aren’t really here. We just have to pull our awareness back. Back to our world. Back to the Institute grounds.”
I felt myself floating, drifting up. It was working! I squeezed tighter Crystle’s hands. Air rushed by my ears. The sound grew more intense, almost like a flapping. Something shrieked and my eyes flew open.
We were mid-air, surrounded by a flock of Birds. The drawings from our textbooks didn’t do them justice. They were huge. Their black feathers more like thorns as they beat against our skin. Their beaks unnaturally large, drawing blood as they pecked wildly at us, their eyes empty sockets.
And then we were falling. The Birds took turns dive bombing us on our way down, beaks and talons tearing at our flesh. In that second I was sure there was no way out. My heart drummed loudly in my chest as the ground rushed up to meet us. We were going to die here—
“No!” I shouted to Crystle as well as myself. “They aren’t really hurting us. It’s a trick.”
Crystle’s eyes were wild with fright, but our descent slowed.
“Say it,” I shouted above the wind. I couldn’t get trapped here. Couldn’t even stay one second longer or I was going to be one of the ones who never really made it back. “SAY IT!!”
“It’s a trick!” Crystle yelled in agreement, her face still terrified, but determined.
We stopped our free fall, and for a moment we were buoyed in place, making us even easier meat for the Birds.
“Up!” I shouted. “Up. We’re going home.”
We broke free of the swarm of Birds, climbing higher and higher until even the largest ceased pursuit. Higher until the air was merely stale instead of putrid. Higher until—
My teeth rattled with the impact and my eyes snapped open just as Crystle bolted upright.
It was only that she seemed slightly more frightened than I was that kept me from losing it.
“It’s OK, Crys, you’re back,” I said, gripping her shoulder. “Breathe.”
Her chest continued to heave, and her words came in a ragged burst when she said, “That place, those Birds...”
“I know,” I said, “Believe me, I know. Just breathe. They can’t hurt you.”
It was such a lie. They had hurt us. If for no other reason than we’d never be able to unsee them.
Her breath slowed a fraction, but her words still came in a rush. “I am so stupid. How could I have been so stupid? You told me not to go past the boundary unless absolutely—”
“That doesn’t matter now,” I said. “What matters is that you’re safe.”
She took a huge inhale and did her best to steady herself.
“Safe...” she said finally, as if contemplating the word. “Are any of us? With those things coming for us?”
Her words hung in the air.
“I don’t know,” I said, too spent to lie. “But right now, in this moment we are. So, just, try to be grateful for that.” I was trying to convince myself as much as her.
She threw arms around me and repeated over and over, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
“I didn’t mean to me,” I said, with a laugh.
“I know,” she said, pulling back. “But I mean it. Thank you for coming to get me. I don’t think I could ever make myself go back—for anyone.”
She shuddered and I said, “You would. If you had to, you would.”
We were still catching our breath when Michael skidded to a halt, a Keeper trailing not far behind.
“Thank God you’re OK,” he said, his relief plain, even as we was doubled over and panting. “What happened? Were you…”
She nodded, her head bowed with the shame she felt for bringing this on herself. I squeezed her hand in commiseration.
“And you, Ms. Lyons, did you perform the Retrieval?” The Keeper’s voice was a mix of severity and awe. Of course I shouldn’t have gone in after her (not that I’d known I was) but how do you punish someone for doing a) what they shouldn’t be able to do, and b) saving a life?
“Yeah,” I said.
“I’ll need to tell Master Dogan about this,” she said. I didn’t blame her for wanting to pass the buck.
“It’s just as well,” I said, getting to my feet. “We’re on our way there anyway.”
“What, now?” Michael said. “Crystle, you need to rest, whatever it is can wait.”
“No,” she said, resigned. “It can’t.”
On the way Crystle leaned on Michael for support, and in turn, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. It was a testament to how shaken she was that she hardly seemed to notice.
9
It didn’t take long to spill our guts to Master Dogan. The final score read:
Happy that Crystle was back safe.
Uncharacteristically shaken upon seeing Crystle’s faded Mark.
Very unhappy he hadn’t been told immediately.
Impressed, but not entirely surprised, that I’d performed a Retrieval, even without training.
Troubled that the moment I’d touched her I’d been pulled, basically against my will.
Crystle and I emerged from Master Dogan’s office to find Michael waiting for us.
“Is everything alright?” he asked, worry still pinching his brow.
Who knew that question could become so loaded? The uneasy look on Crystle’s face indicated she was having as a hard a time answering it as I had been as of late.
“I have no idea,” she said finally.
“What did Dogan say?” Michael asked, falling in step with us as we left the meditation yurt. “Why does he think you needed a Retrieval?”
We’d filled Michael in on the details of what had happened while in the demon world, but not about what had made her so vulnerable.
“It’s a Keeper thing,” she said, echoing what I knew he’d said to her about Guardian business countless times. But the jab had no heat behind it.
“So, um, did you still want to talk?” he asked. “Inside the Sanctuary, I mean.”
“Yeah,” Crystle said, and I made a move as if to break off and leave them alone. “But not now,” she said, grabbing my arm.
“OK,” he said, looking like a sad bulldog. “Later?”
“Tomorrow,” Crystle said. “Right now I need my girls.”
When Michael walked away, I asked Crystle why she didn’t go with him right now and get back together.
“Because one, I’m not supposed tell anyone about the break and I’m too tired to lie, and two, because I’m still technically dating Colin, so I should probably break up with him before I get back together with Michael.”
I gave her an appraising look. “Life and death situations seem to have a maturing effect on you,” I said with a grin.
“If that’s what it takes, I’ll stay immature, thank you,” she said.
Later, as we sat cross legged on my bed talking in hushed tones, a young student knocked on the door requesting Crystle follow her to meet with the Elders. I nearly wore a hole in the floor from pacing while I waited for her to return.
“What did they say?” I asked when she finally did, over an hour later.
“I’m not kicked out,” she said. “For now.”
“Tell me,” I said, as we sat down.
“It wasn’t so much that they wanted to let me stay,” she said. “I think I scare them almost as much as you do.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“What? It’s no secret. They don’t like knowing there’s someone out there more powerful than all of them put together,” she said. “Anyway, I think I’m being kept as sort of a guinea pig. They’re going to send someone to photograph the Mark every day. Thank God mine isn’t where Bridget’s is.”
“Seriously,” I said.
Bridget was one of the unlucky ones whose Mark was located in a less than ideal spot. In her case it was on her left cheek. The cheek that’s usually covered by pants.
“The other reason I think they’re keeping me is because they don’t want to set a precedent they have to follow if someone more valuable than me has the same thing happen.”
“That sounds like the Institute,” I said. I still believed whole-heartedly in the Institute’s mission, but having peeked behind the curtain, some of the shine had worn off. “But the upshot is, you get to stay.”
“Yes,” she said, both relieved and troubled. “Although after what I’ve seen, I’m not totally sure I want to.”
“You will be,” I said. “It gets easier to deal with.”
You mean easier to stuff down.
“They also ordered me to not go past the boundary for any reason,” she said. “As if. I’ll be lucky if I don’t become a hermit.”
It was then that Bridget burst into the room.
“Have you heard?”
“Heard what?” I said, exchanging a look with Crystle.
“They’re checking Marks. On everyone. I didn’t think I was ever going to have to go through that humiliation again.”
Crystle and I shared another look which caused Bridget to say, “What is it? What do you know?”
“I’m not supposed to say...” Crystle said, squirming.
I knew how she felt; I hated keeping secrets from my friends.
“I’ll lock it in the vault,” Bridget said, shutting the door. “Tell me.”
Bridget’s eyes filled with sympathy then horror as Crystle unfolded her story.
“Oh, Crys, that’s awful,” she said. “I’m so sorry.”
Before Crystle could respond, there was a knock on the door.
When Callie entered, the first thing out of her mouth was, “Did you hear? They’re checking Marks.”
Crystle groaned and fell back against my bed. “Get Madison,” she said. “I’m only telling this story once more.”
Callie looked confused, but left to do as she was told.
“Welcome to my world,” I said, clapping a hand on Crystle’s knee.
10
By the time Crystle had finished her story and we’d spent time discussing what it could possibly mean, it was time for dinner. The five of us filled out trays out of habit; none of us did more than pick at our food once we were seated at our usual table.
I was about to excuse myself—I still had to pack—when a sly smile crept onto Callie’s face.
“Looks like you’ve got a visitor,” she said. My eyes followed her gaze across the room and straight to Taren.
My heart leapt in my chest and my attempt at casualness was blown by me bolting up from my chair.
“I’ll, uh, see you guys later,” I said, and began walking before they could even respond.
“Hey,” I said when I’d reached him.
“Hey. How are you doing?” he said, but didn’t take my hand as he usually did. In fact his whole manner was stiff.
“Better than you, I guess. How much does it hurt?” I fought the urge to trace my fingers
along the swelling and bruising on the right side of his face. His lower lip had three blue stitches in it.
“It’s not as bad as it looks,” he said.
A silence hung between us so tense that I felt it physically. I so wanted him to hold me, yet he seemed to just want to get away.
“I heard,” he said, “about Crystle. About you going in after her. Are you OK?”
How many times had he asked me that in our few months together? More than most couples I was sure.
“Fine,” I said, feeling a bubble of anger rising to the surface. “Is that why you’re here?”
“Well, yeah,” he said, but when he saw my expression shift added, “No. I mean, yes, I needed to know you were OK, but I was going to come see you anyway.”
My belly relaxed a fraction, but my response was, “Why today and not last night?” I suddenly wanted an explanation more than I wanted to make up.
“You know why,” he said quietly, his gaze falling to the floor.
“Right,” I said. I hadn’t run when he’d told me to and he couldn’t forgive me.
We stood there awkwardly until I couldn’t take it anymore and blurted out, “So, is that it, then? Are we breaking up?”
Taren’s eyes got big, but then he hung his head forward again and said, “I thought you might want to.”
“Huh? Why would I want to? You’re the one who’s been blowing me off.”
“I didn’t blow—I mean, I guess I did, but not because I want to break up.”
“Then why?” I said, more confused than ever.
“I couldn’t face you. Couldn’t look you in the eye knowing... “
“Knowing what?”
“That I almost got you killed!” he said, his voice as tortured as the look on his face. “If it had been left to
me, you would have been. Or at the very least, kidnapped.”
“What are you talking about? Of course you saved me,” I said. “I’m here, aren’t I? Who else—”
Oh, right. His father. Taren saved me from the first Red and Richard saved me from the second. I probably should thank him for that...
“Look,” I said, “this is ridiculous. You can’t be jealous that your father—”
“Jealous? I’m not jealous. I’m furious. At myself, for not being able to protect you. If my father hadn’t gotten my mother to safety he wouldn’t have been able to double back. Your life is my responsibility and I failed—”
He stopped speaking abruptly and I thought I saw tears in his eyes when he bowed his head.
“Taren,” I said softly, and closed the gap between us. “You did everything right. I couldn’t ask for a better Guardian.” I touched his unbruised cheek. “Or boyfriend.”
He looked up and when we locked eyes, the tension dissolved and we were back to being us.
“This whole time I thought you were angry with me for not running when you told me to,” I said, with a relieved smile.
“I am angry about that,” he said, “but I guess it wasn’t at the top of my list.”
“Would it make you feel better to know that Kat already read me the riot act?”
“A little,” he said, and swept a lock of hair from my face.
It wasn’t the most romantic kiss we’d ever had—probably not even a kiss, technically speaking, with me trying awkwardly to avoid the stitches in his lip—but I melted into it just the same.
“I can’t lose you, Em,” he said softly.
“Then don’t ever treat me like that again,” I said. It was painful to admit, but I added, “I needed you.”
He gripped me softly by the hair, his lips brushing against my ear as he said, “I’m so sorry.”
I rested my head on his chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart. My Hart.
It was then that I committed to doing whatever I had to in order to have full use of my power. Because Taren might have been responsible for my life, but I was the reason we were in so much danger in the first place, and I would do anything to make sure I didn’t lose him, either.
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