by S. E. Lund
His eyes were closed, his bed was raised slightly, and one arm had a blood pressure cuff on it. A thick white bandage circled his head. He looked so fragile and so unlike the father of my memories, strong and firm, in charge of everything.
I went to the side of the bed and took his hand in mine.
“Hi, Daddy,” I said and leaned over, kissing him on the cheek. “It’s me, Kate.”
I squeezed his hand and he squeezed back, but his eyes remained closed and I wondered if he was still too sedated to speak.
“Drake and Elaine and I are here,” I said, tears starting in my eyes once more. “We have a new doula – nurse named Karen who's looking after Sophie for us. We’ve been waiting for you to come out of surgery. The surgeon told us that everything went well, and now all you have to do is recover and regain your strength.”
I wiped the tears from my cheeks, and stood there, watching him, surrounded by machines and the sound of oxygen. If that was all I could do, I was happy. I checked the clock on the wall, and saw that I’d already been there for three minutes.
“We’re only allowed to stay for five minutes at a time, so I have to go, but I wanted you to know,” I said and then had to stop, my throat constricting. “I wanted you to know that I love you,” I said, tears spilling down my cheeks once more. “You’ve been a wonderful father.”
That was all I could say, as I started to cry in earnest at that, squeezing his hand and wanting him to know how I felt.
His face changed slightly, almost like a smile and his lips moved. I couldn’t hear what he was trying to say, so I leaned closer, my ear next to him.
“I love you,” I think I heard him say. Then, “Be happy.”
I leaned down and kissed his cheek once more. “I’ll try,” I said. “I am happy.”
Of course, that made me think of how unhappy I’d been for the past weeks after the attack and after I came out of the hospital. How anxious I’d been, how tired and how afraid I was of every little thing going wrong. Now, here I was in the ICU with my father, who could have died. Who still could die…
I realized at that moment how lucky I was. How much love I had – from my father, from Drake, and now, from Sophie. My heart filled up with so much emotion at that moment that I sobbed out loud. My father squeezed my hand once more and I tried to hold it in, not wanting to lose control in front of him. Finally, I checked the clock once more and realized I had overstayed my five minutes.
“I have to go,” I said and squeezed his hand once more. “I’ll be back later.”
I leaned down and kissed his cheek once more and let go of his hand, wiping my eyes on the sleeves of my sweater, trying to get hold over my emotions.
I left the room and was met by Drake, who pulled me immediately into his arms.
“Oh, Katie,” he whispered in my ear, kissing my cheek and neck. Elaine touched my arm and went past us into the room. Drake led me back to the small alcove and we stood in each other’s arms while I recovered my composure.
“I spoke with the nurse,” Drake said and pulled back, wiping my cheeks with the backs of his fingers. “She said your father is doing quite well, all things considered. We can go home and they’ll call us if anything happens in the night.”
“I don’t want to leave,” I said and looked into Drake’s eyes.
“Sophie needs you,” Drake said softly. “Your father is in the very best of hands.”
I rested my head on Drake’s shoulder and closed my eyes, not wanting to leave my father, but realizing that I had to go back home to my baby, who needed me as well. My father knew I loved him. Sophie needed to know that I did as well.
“Okay,” I said. “After your visit.”
Then we sat down and waited for Elaine to come out. When she did, Drake left the two of us in the alcove and went in to see my father for himself. Elaine was very composed when she returned from seeing my father. She sat beside me and took my hand.
“He’s doing quite well,” she said and smiled. “You should go home and feed that baby of yours. How are your breasts?”
I smiled and slipped a hand up to feel one. “Rock hard,” I said. “I forgot to express.”
“Sophie will be hungry and will drain you,” Elaine said. “You two go. I’ll be fine here. I’ll check out the lounge. The nurse said there’s a recliner chair there I can sleep in if I want. When he’s a little more stable, they’ll move it into your father’s room so I can sleep with him.”
“That’s good," I said and smiled, feeling a little better that my father wouldn’t be alone for the whole night. Even though he’d spend most of it sleeping off his anesthetic, I didn’t like the idea of him being all alone with those tubes and wires and machines surrounding him. Drake returned and I could see the tears in his eyes, despite the fact he smiled when he saw us.
“He’s doing well,” Drake said and sat beside me. He took my hand and smiled. “He told me to go home, so we better follow his orders.”
“Did he actually say that to you?” I asked, surprised.
“Yes,” Drake said with a soft laugh. “I squeezed his hand and told him to get better because he was my only father. He said, ‘Go home.’”
I smiled and nodded. “We should go. Elaine will be able to take the reclining chair into his room later.”
Drake squeezed my hand. “Sophie needs to be fed from her momma,” he said and stood. “I’ll get our coats and talk to the nurses before we go.” He left us in the alcove and I stood up and hugged Elaine.
“Call us if anything happens,” I said, my fatigue catching up with me finally. “We can be here in fifteen minutes.”
“I will. You go home to that baby and sleep.”
We kissed and I went to the nursing station where Drake was standing with our coats in hand. The nurses smiled at me and then the two of us left the ward, on our way home to our baby.
Chapter 11 : Drake
Later, when I saw Kate in the slider feeding Sophie, Sophie’s little hand on Kate’s breast and nursing happily, I finally felt that all was right with my little world.
Finally.
I’d been on edge all day due to Ethan’s surgery and near-death experience. The news reports about the attempted murder case didn’t help, especially the suggestion that I had been involved with Lisa and had encouraged her to try to kill Kate so the two of us could be together.
I’d wanted to punch someone, and I was not prone to fits of violence.
Now, with Ethan stable, and with Kate seemingly willing to leave him at the hospital in the care of the staff, and now with her feeding Sophie with such a look of contentment in her eyes, I felt I could relax.
My life was truly blessed to have the two of them – and Ethan – in my life.
I went to the kitchen and thanked Karen for staying to reheat our supper before she left for the night.
“You don’t know how much of a Godsend you’ve been to us,” I said and walked her out of the apartment, handing her the bag she brought with her. “I know that Kate felt completely secure with you caring for Sophie so that was a big load off her shoulders.”
“I hope everything works out for your father-in-law,” Karen said and squeezed my arm. “I’ll be over tomorrow so you both can go up and see him. Sophie’s a very easy baby, considering all she’s been through.”
“She is.”
We said our goodbyes and I went back to Sophie’s bedroom to watch while Kate deftly slipped Sophie’s pacifier back into her mouth and laid her down in her crib. She’d fallen asleep on the breast, as she did almost all the time at night, and was now sleeping on her side, her little fists clenched and by her face, her back arched, sucking away on her pacifier.
Kate turned to me and smiled. We tiptoed out of the room and I closed the door softly behind me after taking one last glance at my sleeping baby girl. She was so beautiful, so precious – even more so since we almost lost her and Kate. Had I not hired the security staff, and had the man not been there to administer first aid, Kate
or Sophie – or both – could have died.
Kate laid a hand on my shoulder and leaned up to kiss me on the cheek. I smiled and then kissed her back, lightly, on the cheek.
"I’m going to have a shower,” she said and held a hand over her yawn. “It’s been a rough day and I need to go to bed now.”
“Sure,” I said and nodded, rubbing her shoulder with affection. “You go right ahead. I’m going to check my mail. I’ll be up later.”
She left me in the hallway, on her way to our master suite and the bathroom. I went to my office and sat at my desk and opened my email, checking to see what messages I’d received and whether there was any news from Lara.
Sure enough, there was an email from her. I opened it, a knot of anxiety in my gut.
To: Morgan, Drake MD
Reply-To: MistressLara
Re: The Case
Drake:
Hope things are better re: Ethan. I’m sure this is just one more thing that you don’t need to think about, so I’m doing it for you. I’ve done some sleuthing and spoke with GaryM, whom you will remember from our days at Yonkers. He is a close friend of Derek Richardson, who apparently moved to Singapore to start a new business. I tried to reach out to Derek, but he’s not involved in the local community and I have no contact info. GaryM recalls that Lisa was causing problems back in the day when you topped her a couple of times. In fact, she kept pushing to have you involved in their regular play, but Derek refused. He could see she was not truly submitting and was trying to force the issue so they broke up, quietly. Derek felt bad but still wanted to warn others. Word got around to male Dominants in his network that she was not safe and so she had some difficulty finding experienced partners. The reason you weren’t informed was that you were already known as a soft Dom and would not be a match for someone like Lisa.
Apparently, she did some switching after she and Derek broke up, trained a while with JohnG, (the guy who liked breath play – remember with the silly dyed blonde tips?) and then she subbed to a newcomer to the community, MasterMikeFromJersey. I can’t find any contact info on him right now and he seems to have left the community. No trace of him and no way to find out who he is so I can interview him to see how Lisa was with him. I expect the detectives involved in the case (McDonald?) will be in touch again soon to get your alibi for those days. Will send you whatever I find out. Don’t be too worried. Most of the time, the cops are on the right track in a case like this and can see Lisa for what she is – a fucked-up woman who was obsessed and couldn’t take no for an answer. Later…
I responded immediately.
To: MistressLara
Reply to: Morgan, Drake MD
Re: Re: The Case
Lara – thanks for all the work you’re doing on my behalf. I truly appreciate it. Ethan is stable now, so we’re at home and Kate will be going to sleep. I’ll be up for a while trying to get a few details of my exit from public life settled. If you want to call, I’ll be up for a while. Too hyped up to sleep. Cheers, Drake.
I sent off the email and waited, wondering if she was up and would call, or whether she had already signed off for the night. Sure enough, my phone rang and I checked the display to see it was Lara.
I answered. “Hey,” I said, glad to her hear voice. “Thanks for calling.”
“No problem, Drake. You know I feel responsible for you. I feel responsible for this whole mess, since it was me who hooked you up with Lisa and Derek in the first place.”
“Don’t feel that way,” I said and rubbed my temples. “I wanted to get some exposure, and you know everyone who is anyone in the community.”
“I didn’t know Lisa well enough,” she said, her voice sounding tired. “I know Derek and he’s pretty solid.”
I frowned, wondering why I hadn’t heard of him leaving New York. “When did he leave for Singapore? I don’t remember hearing about him moving.”
“I have no idea,” Lara said. I heard her flipping through some papers. “Sometime in the past few months. Since the accident, I think.”
“Yeah,” I said, remembering the text I got from him when I first realized Lisa was in the fellowship program. “I got a text from him last year after I started my fellowship at NYU. He didn’t mention anything about it. I emailed him for some info on Lisa but I haven't heard back yet.”
“He's a pretty free spirit,” Lara said. “From what I heard, he put the mansion on the market, and there was a feature article on it in the New York Times real estate section, if I recall correctly. Once it sold, he left for Singapore. Haven’t heard from him since. I called the Ritz but there’s no record of him there so I’m not sure he stayed. Maybe went somewhere else in Malaysia. His former partner said he always wanted to relocate there and focus his business in the Asian market.”
“It sure would help to know what he thought about Lisa’s stability,” I said, leaning back in my chair and exhaling slowly. “I’m going to try to write out a list of all the functions I’ve gone to in the last three years. I have pretty much everything in my planner, so I’ll have something to work on to counter Lisa’s claims that we were seeing each other secretly.”
“That’s a good idea,” Lara said and I could hear hesitation in her voice.
“Lara,” I said, softly, deliberately calmly. “Should I be worried about this?”
There was a pause on her end and that told me everything. “You did nothing wrong, Drake. You weren’t seeing her. You never wrote those letters. There’d be no reason for you to keep it secret from me. I know everything about your past because I arranged it all. You would have told me if you were seeing Lisa.”
“I would have,” I said. “I only met my submissives through you.”
“That’s right. The cops may be on the wrong track for a while, but I’m sure they’ll see the light soon.”
With that, I sighed heavily, feeling like I needed to go for a run to work off some of my excess energy. The fact I hadn’t had sex for months didn’t help matters.
“What’s the sigh about?”
“I need to go for a run,” I said and shifted in my chair. “Hyped up tonight.”
“Kate still not back to normal?” Lara said lightly. I knew what she meant.
“Not yet,” I replied. “She’s starting to feel better physically. I imagine once we know how Ethan’s doing, she might be able to truly relax again. Things will get back to normal. Don’t worry about me.”
“I do worry about you, Drake. You’re like my little brother.”
“Ha!” I said with a laugh. “Some little brother, considering…”
“Yeah, I know. Maybe a stepbrother. Anyway, you have a good run. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Goodbye,” I said and ended the call. I turned back to the screen and closed my email down then went to the bedroom and changed out of my clothes and into my sweats. The water was still running in the bathroom, so Kate was having a nice long shower.
I left a sticky note on the door to the bedroom with a hastily written note to Kate so she knew I was out for a run. I pulled on a light jacket and tied my running shoes and left the building, running down 8th Avenue on my usual route.
As I ran, I tried to focus on my technique, my stride, my breathing, my general form. I wanted to blank my mind of all the problems in my day – the case, Kate’s trauma, Ethan, Lisa, but of course, my focus drifted from the pace I was keeping to my conversation with Lara. So, Lisa had been known as a bit of a problem… She’d asked that I be included in more of their play, but Derek had thought it best to let me take the lead. When she insisted, they broke up. She’d done some switching, training to be a part-time Domme? That suggested she wasn’t entirely happy with being a submissive. That was fine – some people enjoyed taking both roles in their BDSM play, but with Lisa, it suggested to me that she was confused and unhappy. If Derek had broken up with her, ended their relationship because of her problems accepting his dominance, she might have been confused and thought of me as someone she could turn to. I
was known as a lightweight in the community. Maybe she thought I’d be more flexible…
We hardly spoke when we were together back at Derek’s mansion in Yonkers. It wasn’t as if we had a social relationship and got to know each other personally. I topped her. That was pretty much the extent of our interaction, other than sitting down and talking beforehand about limits. She seemed to have none, and had been willing to do pretty much anything.
She was a mindless pastime to me and a chance to practice my rope technique.
If anything, Derek and I spent more time talking about mutual interests. He was a business man, wealthy from a family business like my father’s business, although his was in some kind of specialized tools for building. He inherited his business from his father, as I did the corporation, so we had a lot in common. After we met via Lara, he became a wealthy donor to the Foundation.
I’d call Dave in the morning and see if he had any record of recent donations from Derek’s corporation so we could get in contact with him about Lisa. I wanted to know what Derek thought about her, and what she’d said about me. I could at least know where things went wrong. I might be able to help prepare for any charges that might come against me.
I hoped, as I ran through the streets, that Lara was right – once the police had a clearer picture of who Lisa was, they’d know that she was mentally unbalanced and unreliable. Then, they’d stop looking at me as a potential accomplice and realize that I was totally innocent and a victim of her madness. I hoped that Lara could check the list of events Lisa claimed we met in secret so I could counter her claims. I knew that might be difficult. How could I prove that I didn’t meet and have sex with her in the broom closet at an event we were both at?
The only way would be to have witnesses that saw me the entire time. I didn’t usually use the washroom during a performance, but there had been times when my pager would go off in my pocket and I’d have to leave to take a call. My patients might have complications after a difficult surgery so I would respond, leave the event and return to the hospital to care for them. If I didn’t have to leave, but consult, I would return to my place in the auditorium or theater. There was no way I could prove I didn’t meet Lisa in the alley for a quickie, much as I had been with Kate that night at Carnegie Hall.