by Brenda Novak
If Sly set that fire, he really had lost his mind, she decided.
She couldn’t get the armoire open. It was too damaged. Filled with renewed hope—because a jammed armoire door could easily explain why the firefighters hadn’t found the plastic container she’d requested—she used a crowbar from the Clevengers’ garage to break open the door.
That was where her hope died. Although she had some books, various notes, bills and checking account information in there, stacked on the small shelves to one side, the pictures she most wanted weren’t to be found.
This was the last place they could be. She wouldn’t have put them in the attic or crawl space. She was afraid of spiders, avoided those places entirely—and had no need to use them. She hadn’t had enough belongings to worry about the extra storage space.
Standing back, she stared glumly at the odds and ends she’d discovered. There were a few loose pictures of Jayden, but they weren’t the ones she loved the most. The ones taken when he was nine months, that had best captured his sweet little smile and spirit at the time, were gone. So were the only pictures she had of her parents.
Sadie had never felt more alone in the world than at this very moment. She was standing in a house she believed her ex-husband had torched, most of her stuff was damaged or destroyed and everything that really mattered to her was gone. Not only that, if she couldn’t figure out some way to tie Sly to what he’d done, she’d be facing the daunting prospect of moving to a completely new place, where she wouldn’t know a soul, in order to be rid of him for good. How would she start over without so much as a babysitter she felt she could trust to watch Jayden while she worked? Where would she go? What would she do?
She wished she could talk to her mother, wished she hadn’t lost her so soon. Her father had done a good job in her mother’s absence, but then she’d lost him, too. She’d had only Sly in her life from that point forward, dominating and controlling everything and making her doubt her own abilities—sometimes even her sanity.
She didn’t try to stop the tears that rolled down her cheeks. Crying was self-indulgent. She was feeling sorry for herself and she shouldn’t, but she didn’t care. The sense of loss was too overwhelming. Pictures were only pictures, but the people those pictures represented were gone, and the pictures were all she’d had left.
She didn’t hear the door. She’d sunk to the floor, buried her face in her arms, which rested on her knees, and was sobbing like a child when she heard her name.
Startled, she looked up to see Dawson crouched beside her.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” he said as he drew her to her feet and pulled her into his arms.
“They’re gone,” she said, her voice muffled by his shirt. “All of my pictures. I feel like I can’t even remember what my mother looked like without them.”
He didn’t say anything, just held her close.
“I hate him,” she said after gulping for breath. “I hate him and I hate love. Love is what got me into this. I don’t ever want to love anyone again.”
She was essentially telling him she didn’t want to love him, either, but that didn’t seem to upset him. Maybe he knew it was too late, that love had already made a joke of her words, because his hands were gentle as they moved in a comforting fashion over her back. “Love isn’t the problem, Sadie,” he said, his voice soothing. “Love is the answer. That’s what makes life worth living.”
“It’s made my life a living hell.” And she knew it wasn’t going to get easier if she had to leave town, leave him. She lifted her head to peer into his face. “Why’d you take me in? Have you lost your mind? Look at me! I’m in such a mess. I have a little boy to take care of and literally nothing to take care of him with.”
“You have all you need,” he said. “You’ll see.”
She scowled in defiance. “You didn’t answer my question. You should’ve turned me away, especially once you realized my ex is a freaking psychopath. I gave you the chance. Now you’re having to deal with his actions, too.”
A contemplative expression claimed his face as he smoothed the hair out of her eyes. “I don’t know why. I guess if you search hard enough, there’s always a glimmer of sunshine in life. I used to watch for it through the slats of my cell. That was literal sunshine, of course. It’s what kept me hanging on—that little patch of light. Not a lot to cling to, but enough. I see something similar, something hopeful and warm, when I look at you.”
She studied his handsome features. “I make you feel better?”
“You do. I told you before, you make me feel like a man again.”
“Because we have mad, wild sex. We can’t keep our hands off each other,” she said sulkily.
He tucked her hair behind her ears. “It’s more than that. At least it is for me.”
It was a lot more than that for her, too, but she didn’t care to acknowledge the fact.
“I like that I’m needed, wanted and able to help,” he added.
Her heart was beating hard, knocking against her ribs. “That scares me to death.”
He smiled. “What does?”
“What if I fall in love with you? I can’t do that. I can’t trust my own heart. Not after what I’ve been through.”
“Don’t worry about ‘what ifs’. We’re just going to take things one day at a time.”
“But I doubt the investigator will come up with anything. I mean, look at this mess.” She gestured around her. “What can he or anyone else tell from this?” She kicked a burned shoe to one side. “It seems as if Sly always gets away with whatever he does. There’s no justice in the world, Dawson. What happened to you is a perfect example.”
He wiped her tears with his thumbs. “It’s not over yet. For either one of us. But maybe I’m feeling optimistic because I heard from Oscar today.”
She sniffed to stop her nose from running. “You did? What did he say? Does he remember the drifter?”
“He does. He could also tell me why that drifter was in town. He’s the brother of one of the boys who went to New Horizons last year.”
This was encouraging. “Which boy? And is he still at the school?”
“That’s what I need to find out.”
“Aiyana will jump all over that.”
“I’ve already called her. She’s working on it. Could take a couple of days. Shouldn’t be much longer.”
Sadie drew a deep breath. Hearing this news made a difference. So did having Dawson’s support. As much as she didn’t want to lean on him, didn’t want to admit that having him come, even though she told him he didn’t need to, made her feel capable of going on in spite of the despair. “That’s wonderful,” she said.
He frowned as he gazed around at the burned bedroom. “Are you sure your pictures are gone?”
“I’ve looked everywhere. They’re not here. No plastic container. No pictures.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I guess we just have to take the blows life deals us and, when we get knocked down, get back up again, right?” What other choice did she have? She couldn’t give up.
“That’s right. And you can do it. Getting up is hard, but it’s all that counts in the end.”
With a nod, she slipped her hand in his. “Okay. Let’s go. I don’t want to be here anymore.”
“Why don’t you ride with me? We’ll pick up Jayden and take him out for ice cream before coming back to get your car. Ice cream won’t fix everything, but—”
She wiped the last of the wetness from her face. “It’s better than sobbing on the floor,” she finished with a broken laugh. “Thank you. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you the past couple of weeks.”
He squeezed her hand. “Don’t even mention it. You’ve saved me, too.”
That made her smile. She’d grieve over her pictures later, she
told herself. When she had the fortitude. Right now she had to soldier on—for Dawson, who could have a chance at proving that the transient he encountered at the gas station was not only real but possibly culpable of his parents’ murder, and Jayden, who was depending on her to be strong.
26
There was no one at the ice cream parlor. That came as a relief to Sadie. She didn’t want to encounter anyone with her red, swollen eyes. Having to face the girl behind the counter was bad enough.
They each picked their favorite flavor. Dawson got a double scoop of mocha almond fudge; she and Jayden each got a single cone of chocolate.
Assuring her they’d come back to town to recover her car later, Dawson drove them home so they could prolong the peace they’d found together. That simple gesture, keeping her with him even though it wasn’t the most practical thing to do, made her appreciate him even more. She was falling in love again, all right. She didn’t want to be—especially with her future in Silver Springs being so uncertain—but she couldn’t deny what she was feeling, couldn’t pretend otherwise. That fact became all too clear when Jayden fell asleep on the way and, once Dawson carried him into the house for a nap, she caught hold of his hand before he could go out to work.
“What is it?” he murmured, sounding surprised.
She didn’t explain. She simply led him to his bedroom, where she closed and locked the door before peeling off his clothes. Because she didn’t know how long she’d get to be with him, she felt a certain urgency to make the most of every minute.
Fortunately, he didn’t seem to mind another delay. “I’m glad that you’re getting comfortable with me,” he said.
“I’ve never been like this,” she admitted. “I can’t get enough of you. I want to make love all the time.”
“That makes two of us,” he said before his mouth came down on hers.
The taste and feel of him ignited the same raw hunger she’d experienced when he made love to her before. From that moment on, Sadie was lost—sailing away on a rapid current of desire. After he took off her clothes, he picked her up and tossed her onto the bed, making her laugh. But once he climbed into bed with her, all levity disappeared. She closed her eyes, savoring the rush of eagerness and expectation that charged through her as his hands moved over her body. This was what desire felt like, she told herself.
He seemed to be in no hurry, but when he eventually rolled her beneath him, the pressure of him pushing inside her, filling her, made her feel complete. She clung to him as he began to thrust, enjoying the slightly salty taste of his skin, the solidness of his chest as it slid against her bare breasts and the ropey muscles of his back she could feel bulging beneath her fingertips.
“You’re so talented at this,” she gasped as the pleasure began to build.
His laugh sounded ragged, proof that he was experiencing the same escalation of breathing and heart rate. “I don’t think this requires any talent.”
“It requires a little intuition, at least. I’ve never felt anything like being with you.”
He paused, resting part of his weight on his elbows as he stared down at her.
“What?” she said, taken aback by the intensity of his gaze.
“You’re not going to leave me, are you?” he asked softly.
She didn’t know what to say. If they couldn’t tie Sly to that fire, couldn’t get him out of their lives, she’d be doing Dawson a favor by leaving. “I hope I won’t have to.”
He frowned at her words, obviously not satisfied by her answer. But before he could press the issue, she dragged his mouth to hers, compelling him to move again. He did, and he spent the rest of Jayden’s nap convincing her with every kiss, every touch, that she’d be sorry if she didn’t stay.
* * *
They could hear Jayden playing with what few toys he had left in the next room. He was awake, but he seemed perfectly happy, so Sadie didn’t jump up to dress. She seemed reluctant to get out of bed, and Dawson felt the same way. Languid and satisfied, he closed his eyes as he rested his head on her shoulder and she raked her fingernails gently over his back. “It’s hard to make myself work when you’re around,” he teased.
She smoothed his hair back. “Sorry I kept you from the fields. I know you’re feeling pressure to get things done.”
His hand covered her breast. “Don’t be sorry. I wouldn’t have traded this for anything.”
“It could’ve waited until later, I suppose.”
“I don’t think it would’ve been the same.” He lifted his head to give her a lazy grin. “Sometimes you have to seize the moment, you know?” He put his head back down so she wouldn’t stop scratching. “Tonight wouldn’t have been a good option, anyway. We have a date with the chief of police.”
She’d been so caught up in the fact that she’d lost her pictures, he could tell she hadn’t been thinking about what he’d discovered out by the canal. “You got a hold of him?”
“Just before I saw you at the rental earlier. He’s coming tonight.”
“You told him about the tire tracks?”
“Yeah.”
“And he believed you?”
“I think so. He sat on the other end of the line in silence for a few seconds. Then he said Sly ‘better not’ be trespassing when he’d been told to stay away.”
“Did you email him the pictures?”
“I did, but I haven’t heard from him since then.”
“So what’s the plan?”
“He said he’d call a meeting to bring Sly to the station at the end of Sly’s shift. But instead of being there to conduct the meeting, Thomas is going to have someone else stand in for him while his wife drops him off out here. That way, we’ll know Sly is occupied while Thomas gets into position, and no one else on the force will know what’s going on.”
“So they can’t alert him.”
“Exactly.”
“Then what?”
He slid his hand down the curve of her waist. She’d been eating better lately. He could tell because she’d put on a few pounds, didn’t seem so anxious all the time. She deserved to have more peace of mind than Sly had given her. “Then we just wait and see what happens.”
“What if Sly doesn’t come?”
“We’ll have to try again tomorrow.”
“How many times do you think Thomas will be willing to come out here?”
“Not more than two or three. So...we have to hope, if Sly is stalking us, that he proves it soon.”
Her phone started vibrating on the nightstand. She was getting a call. With a sigh that showed her reluctance to move, she leaned over to get it. “Speak of the devil,” she grumbled.
“Seriously?” Dawson sat up. “He’s calling you right now?”
“Should I answer?”
“Might as well. See if you can get some idea what’s going through his mind.”
“I can guess that.”
“What would you guess?”
The phone transferred to voice mail, but she didn’t put her phone down. “He has visitation rights this weekend, remember?”
“You think he’s calling about that?”
“What else? It’s the only thing that gives him a legitimate reason to get in touch in spite of what Chief Thomas said—to stay away.”
“He can’t expect to take Jayden after setting that fire.”
“He’s claiming he didn’t set the fire, remember?”
“We know he did.” But how to handle this? “What happens if you refuse?”
“The law would be on his side—unless I go through with the restraining order. That would probably stop him.”
“You told him you wouldn’t do that.”
“If he leaves us alone. You and I both know he won’t. Those tracks out back sort of prove it, right?�
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Her phone started to ring again. This time she answered it. “Hello?”
Dawson felt the peace and tranquility they’d been enjoying disappear from the room, watched the old haunted look come over Sadie again.
“But he doesn’t like baseball,” he heard her say. “I’m not trying to start a fight... I know it’s your weekend. It’s just... Never mind. Of course you can take him. That’ll be perfect. Dawson and I were thinking of going away for a couple of days, anyway.”
This was news to Dawson, but he waited until she’d hung up to ask for the details. “What’s going on?”
“He wants to take Jayden for the weekend. I knew he would. He’s looking for any way to get the best of me, and he knows he can always do that through my son.”
“What was that bit about us going away for the weekend?”
She shoved a hand through her hair. “My way of trying to fight back. If he thinks I want him to take Jayden, he’ll back out.”
“Did he?”
“Sadly, he didn’t fall for it.”
“Damn. So now what? We can’t let Jayden go to his place. We can’t trust him.”
The way she nibbled on her bottom lip suggested she was contemplating something.
“Sadie?” Dawson prompted.
“We need to rile him up, provoke him. If we make him mad enough, he’ll show up here tonight for sure.”
“Where he’ll be caught by Chief Thomas.”
“Yes. Then I’ll be able to go through with getting the restraining order, after all—with Chief Thomas’s blessing.”
Dawson punched his pillow and propped it behind his head. “That wouldn’t take much. Just seeing us together would be enough to make him apoplectic.”
She pecked his lips. “So how can we bump into him? We can’t exactly show up at his house.”
“No, but he’s working this evening, right? Chief Thomas indicated as much. So let’s take Jayden to Petra’s—if anything happens, we won’t want him involved in it. Then we’ll drive around town, make sure we’re seen at the gas station, eating at the drive-in, shopping at the grocery store, having a drink at The Blue Suede Shoe. Who knows? Maybe we’ll get lucky and run across him. He’ll be patrolling, so he should be keeping watch on what’s happening in town.”