“Emily, you have to get some rest. You won’t do Steven any good if you collapse,” Alice stated when she brought Emily a glass of lemonade. “It’s almost lunchtime, and I’ll bet you haven’t had any sleep since before Steven got hurt.”
“Oh, I nap here in the chair when he sleeps,” Emily said.
“Why don’t you go lay down. I’ll keep an eye on him,” Alice offered.
“Thanks. But I can’t leave him right now. I have to be here when he wakes up.”
After lunch Brother Tom and Rosemary stopped by. They both tried without any success to get Emily to rest; she still insisted she had to be by Steven’s side.
Emily stayed at Steven’s bedside that night, and finally she fell asleep with her head lying on the edge of the bed beside him. The clock on the mantel had just chimed 3:00 a.m. when Emily felt Steven’s hand caressing her hair. She lifted her head, and for the first time in almost two days, she looked into his blue eyes.
“You look very tired,” he whispered.
“Well, you look wonderful.” She took his hand in hers and gently kissed his fingers.
“How long have I been out?”
“Almost two days. You gave me quite a scare.”
Steven gently stroked her cheek. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Have you been here the whole time?”
Smiling, she looked into his eyes and whispered, “Where else would I be? I had to make sure you were okay.”
“I love you, Emily Barnes.”
“And I love you, Steven Barnes. Don’t you ever scare me like that again.”
“I’ll do my best not to. Come here.” Steven motioned for her to sit on the bed beside him. She carefully sat down on the edge of the bed and Steven pulled her into his arms. She gently put her head on his chest.
“You have to get some rest,” Steven instructed Emily. “Who’ll take care of me if you collapse?” He smiled.
“I’ll get some rest. Don’t you worry. Now that I know you’ll be all right, I can rest.”
“Good. I have to be all right. I have too much to live for now.”
Emily slid back into the rocking chair. Seeing a grimace flood Steven’s face, Emily asked, “Did I hurt you?”
“Just the jiggling of the bed. I’ll be okay,” Steven assured her as he took her hand.
For the most part he held her hand gently but rather frequently would give it a firm squeeze. Emily could tell by the expression on his face and the glassy look in his eyes that he was in pain. She picked up the powder the doctor had given her and mixed it with water, then spooned a dose into Steven’s mouth.
Steven insisted that she go lie down, and she assured him that she would just as soon as he fell asleep. She sat by his side and held his hand until the medicine lulled him into a restful slumber. Finally assured that Steven was doing okay for the moment, Emily went out into the hallway and stretched out on the bed. She left the bedroom door open so she would be sure to hear Steven if he called out or became restless. Before she drifted off to sleep, she thanked God that Steven was better and prayed for his speedy recovery.
The next morning Emily was awakened when she heard Steven moving around in his bed. His soft moans continued to make her heart ache. She wished desperately that she could take his pain away.
As she entered the bedroom, Steven opened his eyes. “Good morning,” she whispered as she leaned down and kissed him gently on the cheek.
“Good morning. You look a little more rested. You did lie down like I asked, didn’t you?”
“Yes. I stretched out on your bed. I feel just fine. Now, would you like a little something for breakfast?”
“I am a little hungry,” Steven acknowledged.
“That’s a good sign. I’ll go see what I can find for you to eat.”
“Oh, would you tell the kids that I’d like to see them? Especially Matt.”
“Sure.” Emily started into the kitchen.
“How’s Daddy?” The question came from all five children seated at the kitchen table.
“Well, why don’t you go ask him yourself. He wants to see you.”
Everyone but Matt jumped to their feet as Emily cautioned, “Now keep the excitement down. Your daddy still doesn’t feel very good, so be quiet and don’t bounce on the bed.”
Matt sat in silence and continued to pick at his breakfast.
“Matt, aren’t you going in? You father especially asked to see you,” Emily stated.
“He probably wants to yell at me.”
“Matt, I don’t know what the problem is, but he kept calling to you in his sleep the other night. He kept repeating over and over that it wasn’t your fault. He wants to see you. I think you should go in and talk to him. Whatever it is you think you’ve done might not be so bad if you talk to him.”
Matt leaned his elbows on the table and buried his face in his hands. “I caused his accident. I’m the reason he almost died.”
Matt’s shoulders began to tremble. Emily didn’t know what to do. This young man had always shown such contempt for her, she didn’t know if he would accept her consolation.
Emily finally walked over to Matt and placed her arm around his shoulder. “I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think. I know your father doesn’t blame you. Even if you were responsible in some way, your dad would forgive you. Matt, he loves you.”
Surprisingly, Matt didn’t pull away from Emily’s touch or her comforting words.
“I am to blame. The tree fell the wrong way and pinned him under it. I must not have made the cut right or it wouldn’t have fallen like that.”
By now his whole body shook with sobs. Emily drew him into her arms. “Matt, it’s okay. Your daddy’s going to be fine. You can’t keep blaming yourself. You have to go talk to him. You can’t avoid him forever, you know. I know you’ll feel better if you just talk to your father.”
Emily wasn’t sure Matt was aware of what he was doing, because he turned, wrapped his arms around her, and laid his head on her shoulder while the last of his tears spilled down his face. When the other children entered the kitchen, Matt quickly came to his senses and pulled away from Emily.
“Matt, Daddy wants to talk to you,” Mark informed him.
Matt drew in a deep breath and walked toward the bedroom door.
“Matt. Son, come over here and sit down.” Steven indicated the chair next to his bed.
Reluctantly, Matt took the chair his father offered.
“Matt, you’re probably feeling pretty bad, but I just want you to know this isn’t your fault.”
“How can you say that? I must have made my first cut wrong, so the tree fell on you.”
“Matt, sometimes those pine trees have a mind of their own and fall where they want to. You didn’t do anything wrong. You couldn’t help what happened. Now quit blaming yourself. Once again I won’t be able to live up to my responsibilities, so I need you to take over for me.”
“It’s not your fault this time that you can’t do your job. Just tell me what you want me to do.”
“Well, harvest starts next week. It’ll be up to you to handle it. I know you can do it, because you’ve done it before. I really wanted to help this year, but that’s out of the question now.”
Matt lifted his head and met his father’s eyes. “It’s okay, Daddy. You worked hard in the fields. Whether or not you help harvest doesn’t matter. The crops are still yours.”
“Thank you, son. That means a lot coming from you. I’ll be counting on you to see that everything gets done.”
Steven extended his hand to his son and this time Matt grasped it firmly. They had come a long way since that first day on the front porch.
CHAPTER 14
Matt and Mark worked from sunup to sundown in the cornfields. The corn had dried and was ready to be pulled. Some of it they would store in the corncrib to use to feed the livestock through the winter; the rest they would shell so it could be milled into cornmeal. Clyde and his sons helped out, splitting their time between their own
crops and the Barneses’ fields.
Emily and the twins shelled corn until their hands were bleeding. Emily didn’t realize how many ears a person had to shell to fill a five-pound bag with kernels. She was very grateful when Clyde brought his corn sheller over for them to use. Luke and John took turns placing the ears of corn into the contraption and pulling the handle down to remove the kernels from the cob. Sometimes it took both of them to pull the handle, and Emily relieved them from time to time.
Doc Emerson dropped by at least once a week to check on Steven. After two weeks of bed rest, Steven was getting restless, and he was grateful when Doc Emerson brought him a pair of crutches. He then could go out onto the porch and do more than his fair share of corn shelling.
As the weeks passed, Steven’s leg improved, but the doctor still insisted that he keep his weight off it and use the crutches. The cotton was ready to pick, and Matt and Mark went at it with a vengeance. On the second day of picking, Emily stated that she would be joining the boys in the fields. After listening to the many protests from the Barnes men, she put her foot down and went to the field just as she planned. Emily had picked a little cotton in her youth, but very little. She had forgotten what a difficult and backbreaking job it was. Matt and Mark were each finished with a row before she got halfway down hers. But nothing discouraged her; she refused to give up. She would not let these little cotton balls get the best of her.
She felt Matt and Mark watching her. “Even Luke and John pick faster than she does,” she heard Matt mutter.
“Yeah,” Mark answered. “But I never saw Momma out in the fields, no matter how little help we had. She never pitched in the way Emily does.”
Steven accompanied his family to church on Sunday. He couldn’t manage getting up onto the seat, so he rode with the younger children in the back of the wagon.
Just as they started to drive off, Matt and Mark came out the front door and Matt called, “Wait up. Mark and I want to ride with you.”
Steven was so overcome that he couldn’t speak.
As the boys got to the wagon, Emily looked at Matt. “Matt, would you drive?”
“Yes ma’am, I’d be glad to,” Matt answered. Then he climbed up into the seat next to Emily.
Steven was bursting with joy. It seemed at last they would be a family. When they arrived at church, Steven noticed the tears on Emily’s face.
Steven offered thanks to the Lord for the blessings of the day. He prayed that they would become a close family, that his children would love and accept him as their father, and that they would love and accept Emily as their friend, if not their mother. He also prayed for God’s guidance in the final step of making Emily his wife.
The next morning as the family finished breakfast, they heard a loud commotion out front. When they went to investigate, they found most of their neighbors standing in the front yard.
“Steven, Emily, we’re here to get the rest of your cotton picked. You’re our friends and our neighbors, and we’re here to help,” Brother Tom said as he walked up on the porch.
“That’s very kind of you,” Stephen said to the crowd, “but I know most of you have harvests of your own. You don’t have time to do mine, too.”
“We discussed it after church yesterday. We decided that if we all pitch in, we can get everyone’s done and no one will lose anything. We’ll start with yours, then move on to the next field. We’re a community, and for this harvest at least, we’re going to work as one. After everyone’s cotton is picked, then we’ll pitch in and get it to the gin,” Clyde explained.
Alice stepped forward. “Don’t think you’re getting off for free. You have to feed this bunch. But we ladies are here to help cook. Can you handle that, Emily?”
“With pleasure we can handle that,” Emily answered.
The men headed to the fields and the ladies went into the kitchen. The old adage that too many cooks spoil the stew certainly failed to be true that day. The ladies talked and laughed as they worked to prepare a meal that would feed the field hands. Preparations were well under control when Emily decided to slip away for a few minutes and see if she could find Steven. He had disappeared right after the men left for the fields.
She found him in the barn sitting on a bale of hay. “What are you doing out here all alone?”
“Actually, I started out to feel sorry for myself but instead wound up counting my blessings. When we first arrived here, would you have ever believed that something like this could have happened?”
“Things were different then. It did appear hopeless and dark. Thank God, He is still able to change lives and mend broken hearts. He’s also able to change folks’ opinion about other people and circumstances.”
Steven was silent for a moment. “You know, the day we arrived here, I sat in this very spot and had a long talk with the good Lord. That was the first time I had talked to Him in years. I asked Him to help me be a father to my children. At the time I was just praying that I would be able to keep food on the table, clothes on their backs, and a roof over their heads. I didn’t think I could ever be a real father to them. I didn’t think I deserved to be a real father to them. But look how He answered that prayer.”
He paused, then said, “Emily, it’s amazing. First He saved my soul and forgave me of my sins. Then one by one, He gave me back my children. Isn’t God good?”
“Yes, Steven. God is very good. He has given me the family I didn’t think I’d ever have.”
He turned to face her. “There’s one other thing. That first day, I talked to God about you. I couldn’t figure out why on earth I asked you to marry me and come back here with me. I was certain that day that I could never be a husband to you, not when I had felt like such a failure as a husband. I didn’t believe any woman could ever love me or want me as her husband. But look how God answered that prayer. He gave me back my confidence and He gave me you. He knew before either one of us that we were meant to be together.”
“God does work in mysterious ways.”
The dinner bell rang, and Steven sighed. “Emily, I have some things I want to say to you, but right now is not the time or the place.” He stood with the aid of his crutches and offered her his hand, then pulled her to him and kissed her. “I love you, Emily.”
“And I love you, Steven.”
The weeks passed. Harvest was just about over and everyone would have a good year. Doc Emerson had been out and told Steven he could start bearing weight on his leg. Slowly, he graduated from crutches to a cane.
Since he was no longer confined, Steven insisted on helping get the cotton to the gin. Everything was getting back to normal in the Barnes household. Actually it was better than what had been normal.
Matt and Mark had become a part of the family since the Sunday they had ridden in the wagon with the rest of the group. There was still some tension between the boys and Emily; the boys had been so angry at her for so long, they had never gotten to know her. They couldn’t help but act as though she were still a stranger among them. But at least now they were willing to give her a chance.
Steven had begun calling the family together each evening after supper to have a short family devotional. God was bringing them together at long last.
By late November, the weather was cool but not freezing, since east Texas didn’t have a lot of miserably cold weather. Emily remembered the day in the barn when Steven had told her he had some things to say to her but it wasn’t the right time. That had been almost two months ago, and she was beginning to wonder if he had changed his mind. They hadn’t spent much time alone since then. Sometimes she wondered if he was avoiding her.
The devotion time was over and the kids were all tucked into their beds, or at least safely in their rooms. Emily was making sure the firebox in the kitchen was sufficiently stocked for the morning when she turned and saw Steven standing in the doorway staring at her.
“Do you need something?” she asked.
“No. I was just watching you.” He hesitated, then
added, “That’s not the truth. I do need something.”
“What?”
“You. I need you, Emily Barnes. Would you be willing to put on a sweater and join me on the front porch for a little while?”
Emily gave him a big smile. “Sure.”
Once seated in the swing, Emily noticed that Steven appeared nervous. He fidgeted in the swing, seemingly unable to get comfortable.
Finally, Emily asked, “Steven, is something wrong?”
Steven didn’t answer right away. He fidgeted in the swing and shuffled his feet on the floor some more. Emily was beginning to worry, when he finally spoke.
“I’ve been wanting to talk to you, but I haven’t been able to get my courage up until now.”
“What’s so important that you have to rake courage up before talking to me? You should know by now you can talk to me about anything.”
“I know that. But this is different. It’s about us.”
Emily’s heart began to pound. She didn’t know if she was excited or nervous or a mixture of both. Not wanting to interrupt his train of thought, she sat silently and waited for him to continue.
“Emily, I’m very much in love with you and I want you to be my wife.” Steven paused again, picked up Emily’s left hand, gazed into her eyes, and asked, “Emily, will you marry me?”
“Steven, I’d be happy to marry you, but have you forgotten? We’re already married.”
“I know we stood before a judge and that legally we are man and wife. But I don’t want that cold, heartless ceremony to be the start of our marriage.”
Steven began to run his thumb over the gold band on her hand. “And I want my ring on your finger. It hurts me to think that I was so unfeeling that day that I would take another man’s ring and place it on your finger. I want a new start. I want to forget that time ever happened. We met, and now we have fallen in love. I want you to be my wife in every sense of the word, but I can’t take you as mine until we’ve been married in a church by a minister of God. I want to proclaim my love and devotion for you before God and everybody. Emily, will you marry me?”
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