He released his hold. She hesitated, then stepped back. For a change, her eyes weren’t filled with fear, only uncertainty. She studied him, then her lips lifted a bit, as if she were trying to smile at him but didn’t know how. After picking up the cloth bundle, Eduardo held out his hand and waited. Chiquita stared at his outstretched hand. She glanced up at him. He thought she would reject his offer, but very slowly she lifted her hand and let him wrap it in his own. Together they set off down the hill to the house.
By the time Eduardo finished the evening chores, Chiquita had supper ready. She’d used dried chilies and some early squash Pilar gave her to make a stew. The smell of green chili filled the house, and Chiquita found she was looking forward to spending time with her husband tonight. Always before, she anticipated learning more of her letters and hearing the Bible read aloud. Tonight, she wanted to be with Eduardo.
When he pulled her up off the ground today, she thought for sure he would hit her for disobeying, and she knew she deserved the beating. Instead, he simply held her like a child who needed comforting after a terrifying ordeal. All her life, she’d longed for someone to do that, but Mama had never shown the least bit of affection for her. Papa only showed the opposite. Not once had they touched her without that contact hurting. She’d seen the way they treated the other girls, though. Teresa, Pabla, Sancia, and Zita all were treated as special. Only Chiquita was different. She had no idea why.
Watching out the window, she could see Eduardo stopping to talk to Rico before coming to the house. What had happened to him today? She thought for sure he was angry with her, but then he showed such kindness. After yesterday, she hadn’t believed it possible. Puzzled, she tilted her head to one side, studying him. She couldn’t define what, but something about him had changed. He stood, talked, and walked a little different, but she couldn’t figure exactly how.
He waved at Rico and turned toward the house. Ambling along, he paused to look at the pasture, then up at the sky as if he had all the time in the world. Peace. That was it. He appeared to have a peace within that he hadn’t had yesterday. Usually, he strode everywhere he went like he couldn’t take the time to be distracted from the work at hand. Tonight, he seemed to not care about distractions. He was taking the time to see the beauty of life around him.
Dishing up the bowls of stew, Chiquita finished the preparations for the meal. The door opened, and Eduardo clomped into the room. He took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh.
“I could smell those chilies all the way across the yard. My stomach almost beat me to the house.” He smiled at her, and she felt her face warm. She ducked her head, not sure what to make of the change in him or of the new feelings swirling through her.
During the meal, Eduardo chattered more than her sister, Teresa. He told of the hunt, his dreams for the ranch, and Lucio’s amazing recovery. He spoke about his meeting last week with Antonio Soza and their talk of improving the cattle herds. She could barely keep up with the changes in conversation. She longed to be able to join in.
That evening, Eduardo sat closer to her than usual as they worked on learning a few new words. She tried to concentrate, but for some reason, his presence distracted her. Fear wasn’t the problem. She found herself wanting to lean closer to him. When his hand touched her shoulder, she jumped as a shock raced through her. She met his gaze, and he smiled. Chiquita couldn’t look away. Those dusky brown eyes were filled with emotion. This time, she knew he wasn’t angry.
Chiquita stood. Her chair tipped over and clattered to the floor. She held her breath. Eduardo set the chair back in place. He didn’t seem at all upset with her. Warmth flooded her. She had the sudden desire to run outside to cool off in the night air. What was happening to her? Was she getting sick?
“I think we’ve worked on this long enough.” Eduardo rose and began to put away the slate and books. “Do you feel up to listening to some more Bible reading?”
She nodded and moved to the safety of the chair where her mending waited. As Eduardo read in his rich, deep voice, she tried to understand this Jesus. At first she’d been awed and afraid when she heard that Jesus was a man. She’d always been so frightened of her father. She didn’t know how she could trust a God who became a man. Hearing the stories about Jesus, she came to realize He was different in many ways from Papa. Even when confronted by an adulterous woman, who probably deserved the severe punishment the men wanted to mete out, Jesus had forgiven her. He asked her to sin no more. That had been bothering Chiquita. She wanted to ask someone to explain to her what sin was. She had an idea, but didn’t fully understand. Did everyone sin, or only certain people? For some reason, she felt an urgency to find out.
“I believe I’ll turn in early tonight.” Eduardo put away the Bible. “Today was a long one, and I want to take you riding tomorrow, if you’d like to go.”
Chiquita’s heart leapt. Her hands trembled with excitement as she folded the shirt she’d almost finished mending. Tomorrow she would find out what it felt like to sit on a horse. She used to dream about the wind in her face as she raced away on a horse. Sleep was a long time coming as her whole body tingled with excitement. Her mind kept replaying scenes from the afternoon and evening. She drifted off, thinking about what tomorrow would bring.
Before Eduardo returned with the milk the next morning, Chiquita had breakfast ready to put on the table. The coffee, perked before he left the house to see to the chores, had been kept warm. She couldn’t stand still but continued to pick things up, putting them in different places, then moving them back just for the sake of something to do.
The door creaked open. Eduardo clomped inside. “Mornin’.” He lifted the pail of milk onto the counter by the sink. “I have a couple of chores to see to before we can go for a ride.”
Chiquita turned away to fuss with the forks and plates on the table. She didn’t want him to see the disappointment in her eyes. From experience, she knew he had only promised her this treat as another way to hurt her. Her father used to do this all of the time. He would promise something, only to back out later. He always grinned as he watched her misery. She’d learned never to believe him, but after yesterday, she’d thought Eduardo would be different. Now she knew better. She couldn’t bear to see his triumph when he knew how much he’d wounded her.
“Hey, wait a minute.” Eduardo caught her by her shoulders and turned her around. “I didn’t say we wouldn’t ride. Rico needs to show me something.” He ran his thumb under her eye, catching the tear that trickled out. “Besides, you’ve got some work to do before you can get on a horse.” He grinned at her puzzled look. “It’s a surprise. I’ll tell you about it after breakfast. I’m starving.”
She didn’t know whether to trust him or not. This could be another trick. Papa would have done something like this if he’d thought of it. Even though her mind said she couldn’t trust Eduardo any more than she could trust Papa, Chiquita’s heart told her different. Eduardo seemed to genuinely care about her and about others.
After taking care of the milk, Chiquita dished up the eggs and fresh tortillas, adding extra chilies to Eduardo’s breakfast, as he liked. He smiled as she set the steaming plate in front of him. When she sat down, he reached for her hand. This time, when he prayed, he kept a secure hold on her. She could barely concentrate on his words as the shock of his touch ran up her arm. At the end of the prayer, he let go. Although her hand still remembered the feel of his, she felt bereft and alone.
They ate in silence, Eduardo eating like a man who’d done a full day’s work, while she picked at her food. She couldn’t get her mind off what he planned to do next. “While you clean up, I have to get something.” Eduardo scooted his chair back from the table. “I’ll be right back.”
Chiquita couldn’t finish her breakfast. What would he do now? Was this surprise something nasty, or would it be a wonderful one as she used to dream about? Before she had the dishes washed, Eduardo returned. His contagious grin made him look so young and handsome, her breath caught in her thr
oat. She couldn’t look away from his gaze. This was the way the man of her dreams used to look at her. Her heart thudded, feeling like it might beat out of her chest.
“Here you go.” Eduardo thrust a bundle of cloth at her. “Why don’t you see if you can get this ready by the time I return?”
Tearing her gaze from his, Chiquita saw, for the first time, what he carried. The amber skirt and blouse glowed in the sunlight that streamed through the window. Threads interwoven in a pattern throughout gave the outfit a shiny appearance. She’d never seen anything so rich and beautiful. Her eyes widened as Eduardo held the clothes out for her to take.
“My mother only got to wear this a few times when she went riding. I thought the color would match your eyes.” He hesitated and glanced away. “You could get the alterations made while I see what Rico needs. I’ll be back in about an hour. Will that be enough time for you to get ready?”
The full skirt dragged at her arms as she let Eduardo drape the material over them. She couldn’t possibly wear something so rich. What if she fell and it tore? Would that trigger Eduardo’s wrath? Her eyes were drawn to his warm gaze. As she clutched the incredibly beautiful outfit to her, she could see something in his eyes. Was it admiration? For her? He smiled, and she forgot her reservations. She would do anything he asked.
He stepped close. She couldn’t breathe. Eduardo brushed a hand over her hair, making her scalp tingle. “I can’t wait to see you when you have this on. I’ll hurry back, Chiquita.”
CHAPTER 9
Clinging to the saddle with both hands, Chiquita looked like a wooden statue. Eduardo quickly found out that teaching a woman to ride would be a challenge. After he’d lifted Chiquita into the saddle, Pilar came and talked to her about how to keep her feet in the stirrups and how to shift her weight. He could tell Chiquita hadn’t realized how far off the ground she would be. Her face had paled at first, even though the gelding she rode was small and stood still. Chiquita couldn’t seem to get the hang of going with the gait either. She needed to learn to relax and move with the horse.
“You’re doing fine.” Eduardo smiled down at her. He rode his stallion, El Rey, knowing the horse needed some exercise. El Rey pranced sideways.
Chiquita’s gelding snorted and nodded his head. Chiquita tensed. She gave Eduardo a wide-eyed glance.
“He’s just feeling El Rey’s excitement.” Eduardo patted the big stallion’s neck. “They’ll calm down soon.” He reined El Rey closer to her.
“Here, straighten your back. Let go of the saddle. Hold the reins like this.” Eduardo took her hands and turned them, showing her the way to have the most control. “You won’t fall. Pilar gave you good advice about how to shift your weight with the movement.”
Slowly, Chiquita eased back in the saddle. Her face began to lose the look of uncertainty. She even managed to take her gaze off her mount for a minute and look at him.
“That’s the way.” He smiled. “See? As you loosen up a little, you begin to feel the movement. Now go with him, not against him.” He pointed at the gelding, indicating they should become a team. “You have good balance already.”
Chiquita sat even straighter. Eduardo ached for her. The slightest compliment meant so much to her. He could see the same thing when he touched her. Her reaction, although fearful at first, now seemed to be amazement. She couldn’t seem to understand that someone could touch her in kindness or love.
Love? Eduardo frowned. Where had that thought come from? He couldn’t possibly love Chiquita. He hadn’t known her long enough. Yes, he felt protective of her. He could still recall the stab of fear when he saw her lying on the ground yesterday. He thought she’d been hurt. He’d never felt such intense relief before as he did when he found out she was all right. Despite those feelings, he couldn’t possibly love her.
El Rey pranced ahead, and the gelding quickened his pace. Chiquita smiled. She looked more relaxed already.
“I think you’re going to be a natural rider.” Eduardo couldn’t quit watching her. Since he’d walked into the house and seen her wearing that riding outfit, he’d been entranced. Even her hair had some of the same color threads woven throughout, and they gleamed in the sunlight. Like a princess in the stories his mother used to tell him, Chiquita now rode proud and erect.
“Would you like to try going a little faster?”
She smiled and nodded. He eased them into a slow canter, not wanting to try the rougher trot. Her mouth rounded in an O of surprise. Within moments, she relaxed once more and gave him a tremulous smile. This was the happiest he’d seen her. Even her eyes glowed. He hadn’t had this much fun in years.
For the next hour, Eduardo alternated between walking and cantering the horses. He took them in a roundabout circuit, not wanting to stray too far and tire Chiquita on her first ride. She would be sore enough tomorrow without riding too long. As they walked the horses back toward the ranch house, Eduardo veered off the path, motioning to a stand of trees near the bank of the San Pedro River.
Under the shade of the cottonwood trees, he dismounted. Lifting Chiquita down, he held her for a moment to steady her. She started to move her legs, then gave him a surprised look. He chuckled.
“Walking feels funny after you’ve been on a horse for a while.”
She nodded and took a couple of hesitant steps. Eduardo secured the horses, then took Chiquita’s hand. Her troubled gaze told him she didn’t understand what they were doing.
“I want to show you something.”
She seemed to understand the solemnity of the occasion. Eduardo could feel her hesitancy as she followed him down an overgrown path through the grove of trees. Thick grass, drying now because of the lack of recent rains, tugged at their legs as they passed by. Ahead, a short fence outlined the family burial ground. Chiquita stiffened. She slowed, and when Eduardo glanced back, he could see her reluctance to go in with him.
Pulling her close, Eduardo stood by the fence. He wouldn’t push her to go where she didn’t feel comfortable.
“I don’t know why I brought you here. I haven’t come to visit in a long time.” Regret filled Eduardo as he recalled how his mother used to come every week to clean the weeds and keep the gravesites nice. She wouldn’t like the way things looked now.
Chiquita tugged on his hand. Her forehead wrinkled in a puzzled frown. She gestured at all the small markers and the two bigger ones.
“These are all my family.” Pointing to the long row of tiny crosses, Eduardo could feel the old sadness creep over him. “My parents had ten children. I’m the youngest. The first nine didn’t live past infancy.”
Chiquita’s quick intake of breath startled him. She stared up at him, her eyes wide and tear-filled.
“I remember Mama saying that when she found out she was expecting me, she didn’t even want another baby. She thought if she lost another one, the pain would kill her right then and there.” He paused, trying to swallow around the lump in his throat. “She used to come down here once a week. She’d plant flowers in the spring, then tend them all summer long. I think she liked to talk to her children.” He could feel her questioning gaze. “Oh yes, she loved me. In fact, she probably loved me too much. She and my dad were almost too careful with me. They were so afraid they would lose me.” He gave a sad smile. “I’m probably spoiled by all their attention. I sure do miss them.”
Chiquita tugged on his hand. Leading him to the gate, she motioned for him to open it. He followed her inside. She went from one small cross to the next, touching each one, as if in greeting. When she came to the two larger markers, she stopped and turned to look at him.
“Those are my parents.” He reluctantly followed her to the graves. “They died four years ago. I was off with Rico and the vaqueros, getting some cattle rounded up for sale. Only my parents and Pilar were at the ranch.” He turned away, blinking his eyes to clear the moisture.
“When we came back, we found a renegade band of Apaches had attacked. My parents were dead. Pilar had been outsi
de. She heard the commotion and managed to hide. We were all devastated.”
He couldn’t say more. The silence stretched taut. Even the birds grew quiet. Chiquita’s touch was so light that, at first, he thought he’d imagined something. Then he realized she was offering him comfort. Her small hand began to rub light circles on his back. Warmth enveloped him. Eduardo turned.
She stared up at him. Tears pooled in her eyes. She pointed at the largest cross, then at herself.
“Did you know my father?” Eduardo recalled several times when his father had to have dealings with Diego. Perhaps that was what Chiquita was trying to say. She nodded, confirming his thoughts.
Taking his hand, Chiquita brought it to her cheek. Her eyes begged him to understand. Eduardo frowned. He nodded.
“My father was kind to you, wasn’t he?” Her eager nod confirmed what he’d said. “That’s why you remember him. There weren’t many people who were nice. Am I right?”
She nodded again. Turning away from him, she touched the cross at his father’s grave. Tears trickled down her cheeks. Eduardo could only imagine the pain she must be feeling, if a stranger was the only one she could recall ever treating her with kindness. Anguish, not only for her but also for himself and his lost family, nearly made him groan with pain. He must have made a sound. Chiquita turned. He wasn’t sure how it happened, but she was pressed tight against him. Her arms wrapped around his waist in a fierce hug, like she wanted to give him all the comfort and strength she could.
He held her, relishing the peace that flowed over him. “I was so angry when my parents died. Over the years since then, I’ve grown angrier and harder to be around. I didn’t even realize what I was doing.” Eduardo’s voice rasped in the quiet. “Only when I saw what my rage did to you, did I understand that I had to change. I’m not perfect, Chiquita. I may still get upset sometimes, but I will never hurt you. I want to learn to be happy.” He held her away. Her tawny eyes gazed at him full of wonder. “Will you help me? Will you give me time to change?” Her nod of agreement made him want to shout with joy.
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