by Paul Sharp
The bearing of teeth can indicate comfort if it is in the form of a smile, or a desire to attack if it is in a grimace
This is a body language cue that is very typical of primates. Most people tend to notice teeth bared in a dramatic way, although this clue can sometimes be subtle. The baring of teeth in primates generally indicates extreme dislike or a desire to challenge the other person. Although the interpretation of teeth-baring may seem obvious, someone may want to give you the impression of being challenging because they are scared, frightened, or feeling particularly vulnerable.
Movement of the hands around the hair and ears can be indicative of romantic interest
Movement of the hands is very telling. Someone may frequently touch their face because they are lying or something else is making them anxious or edgy, but simply this is nothing more than an indication of interest. Think the action of repetitively tucking hair behind the ears. This sort of action can be an unconscious one in a person who is interested in another, or it can be a tool that a narcissist or manipulator is using to give you the impression that they are interested.
Rapid, repetitive movements can indicate angst, discomfort, or dishonesty
Paying attention to repeated, rapid movements are a tip that can be put to good use in identifying a liar. Some argue that, in particular, movements of the left hand in touching the face or other things is a telltale sign of the liar. In reality, these sorts of movement can be regarded as indicative of discomfort. This discomfort can come from dishonesty, or it can stem from somewhere else, such as anxiety, agitation, or restrained emotion.
An open body posture can indicate confidence or comfort with the other person. On the other hand, a hunched or closed posture can indicate a lack of confidence, discomfort, or exhaustion
Body position, especially when sitting, can be very indicative of the mood or demeanor of the other person. Someone who is sitting with an open body posture, like with their hands on the chair, their legs wide apart (for a male) or in a posture that simply looks open, can give an impression of confidence, ease, or comfortability with the other person. On the other hand, a closed or hunched body position can indicate an overall lack of confidence or exhaustion. Someone looking to manipulate may regard the person with an open body position as ready to be influenced, but they might also see someone with a closed body position as being vulnerable. They would likely utilize a different strategy for the attack in these individuals.
Chapter 8: 10 Tips to Defend Yourself from Manipulation
Understanding how manipulators operate is the first step in defending yourself from manipulation. As you have seen, the manipulator has many tools in their arsenal, from punishment and group, think to positive reinforcement. The manipulator may begin with simple persuasion, a style of acting that most of us are exposed to every day. Although learning about manipulation is the beginning of defense from it, there are some tips that can help you to synthesize an understanding of manipulation strategies and how to guard against them.
Tip 1. Do not reveal more to other people than absolutely necessary
Manipulators rely on the information that they have on you to attack you. Some of this is information they obtain from other people while other information you may give them, albeit inadvertently. Revealing things to someone who may be a manipulator is tantamount to inviting a vampire into the house. You have just given them an open door to walk right into your brain. Approach interactions with others like a witness on the stand or like the US military in the 1990s. Don’t ask, don’t tell.
Tip 2. Spend time getting to know others before you let them in
It is natural for us to seek close relationships with others, and this includes acceptance of our thoughts and beliefs (and just who we are) by others. But the manipulator uses the normal aspects of human behavior as a tool to undermine their victims. Although you cannot go through life perceiving everyone as a dangerous monster out to get you (who wants to go through life like that?) you can learn to take time in getting to know people before you tell them the names and ages of all your children.
Tip 3. Recognize when someone new seems overly friendly or sends off signs of closeness
A manipulator wants to be your friend. They are not stupid. They know that you are not to give your bank account number and routing number to someone you do not like. That means they will do everything they can to get you to like them and to trust them. It may be wise to be on guard for people who seem to be going out of their way to be your friend, especially if you are the type who is more reserved. A manipulator can also display other signs of closeness like showing up unexpectedly that is designed to encourage you to let your guard down.
Tip 4. Be self-aware enough to know when your feelings or actions seem to originate outside of yourself
Self-awareness involves recognizing your own emotions. What self-aware people often fail to do however is to recognize where their emotions are coming from. If your emotions originate with your own internal state, fine. But if your emotions seem to be unrelated to what is going on in your life or how you were feeling previously, and there is someone knew who seems to be related to all this, then it is possible that you are being mind controlled. Self-awareness also means knowing when your emotions stem from someone else.
Tip 5. Learn the tools that manipulators use in their arsenal of attack
Education is crucial to guarding against manipulation (and narcissistic behavior in general). Once you learn the sorts of things that manipulators tend to do, like establish an emotional connection with you very quickly or to behave in a false way, then you can be better prepared to protect yourself. As skilled as they may believe themselves to be, manipulators can behave in a pattern so once you learn their patterns you are well on your way to keeping manipulators at bay.
Tip 6. If someone wants you to do something wonder what their motives are
You should always wonder what the motives of others are. As humans, we tend to project our own beliefs our motivations onto other people. This means that if you are a good person then you may assume that others are motivated by the same desires for good that you are. A person who wants to influence you for their benefit isn’t going to shout, “Hey, I am trying to manipulate you here!” They will instead plant an idea in your head and lead you to believe that it originated with you. Be on the lookout.
Tip 7. Be on the lookout for your own subjective experience of an “emotional whirlwind” or feeling opposite emotions in close proximity
If you are experiencing a lot of emotional ups and downs and this is not like you then chances are that someone in your life is causing this. This kind of emotional turbulence can be due to a relationship that is otherwise healthy, or it might be that a manipulator or narcissist is trying to weaken you by turning you into a basket case. This is the perfect trick to send you flying into their arms, unaware of course that they created this wreck just for that purpose. Be conscious of when you are not feeling right emotionally and who might be the cause.
Tip 8. Be perceptive of when your actions seem not to benefit yourself
One of the sure-fire ways of spotting manipulation is when you notice that you are behaving in a way that benefits someone else to the detriment of yourself. There is nothing wrong with helping out a family member or a friend. Indeed, charity is perhaps the most beautiful quality of human beings, but a manipulator is not someone who wants your charity. They want to use you and potentially destroy you.
Tip 9. Be suspicious when someone seems to be behaving strangely, including when their emotions seem incongruent to what you know about them
A manipulator will appear to be someone that they are not. The façade that they present to the world is designed to aid them in accomplishing their goals as seamlessly as possible. When you notice that someone appears to be someone else than who they are presenting themselves to be then you might just want to be on your guard with them. Distancing yourself from manipulative people is always a good idea.
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bsp; Tip 10. Wear a mask
If a manipulator causes you to change who you are then they have one. Narcissistic people and others operative with dark psychology want to create a world of paranoia and anger around you. Sometimes they do this simply because they want to harm you (and for no other reason). Although you should not fundamentally change who you are because of bad experiences with others, it may be a good idea to start holding your emotional cards close to your chest from now on.
Chapter 9: 10 Tips to Guard Yourself from Mind Control
There are tips that you can use to guard yourself against mind control (and break free). There are different strategies of mind control, but neuro-linguistic programming or NLP, mind control is a popular version that has been used by everyone from self-help gurus and coaches to politicians and other prominent people in the public eye. These types of mind control have been described previously, but it involves using language to induce a trance-like state, even vague language. You can break free from NLP mind control and you can protect yourself. Here are some tips.
Tip 1. Avert your eyes and move them about unpredictably
Eye contact is a very powerful way to make an emotional connection with someone. Even animals engage in this to some degree. A great way to confuse some controlling you is to move your eyes around in a way that it is unpredictable. This prevents them from using eye contact as a means of inducing control and it also will trip them up and make them uncomfortable.
Tip 2. Be suspicious of the use of nonspecific language
It is fascinating to learn the techniques of mind control as some of them are so simple. Vague language has been shown to be effective at controlling the thoughts and motivations of others. In particular, public speeches that use vague language can induce a sort of group trance. Any sort of language that is nonspecific that you hear from a potential manipulator or narcissist should be a red flag.
Tip 3. Pay attention
Someone using mind control techniques will be closely attuned to any lack of attention on your part and that may be a cue for them to try some mind control. Be aware of the sorts of things that are said to you when you appear not to be paying attention, or just pay closer attention in the future.
Tip 4. Stop letting other people touch you
We talked about touching in terms of manipulation, but it applies here as well. In this case, the touching is not actually to influence you but maybe to put you into a trance. Another touch later can be enough to bring you out of a trance or to put you back in if you are already out. Breaking free from mind control can be as simple as not allowing others to touch you.
Tip 5. Be cautious of someone speaking without really saying anything
Part of what makes hypnosis so alarming as that there are tricks that hypnotists use to induce a trance in the listener. There are certain words or types of words that can induce this state so it is important to be suspicious of people who are speaking in ways that sound like gibberish to you. The idea here is not that the words have no meaning at all, but that they seem to be saying something but that the words have little meaning when taken together. Think typical political speech.
Tip 6. Be suspicious of what others are really saying
Speech is the tool that hypnotists use to control you so you must pay attention to what they are saying and what the words indicate to break free. Someone trained in NLP may make a statement but thrown in there may be words that can be taken differently. Those may be suggestions that have been hidden amongst another language. Be aware of the ways that NLP practitioners suggest things to you.
Tip 7. Leave situations where you feel that you are being guided into a decision
Sometimes the best step to breaking free from mind control is getting away from the situation. NLP practitioners are skilled enough that they can control you through suggestion and other tactics while you are entirely clueless of the situation. If you find that you are being guided into action or decision it may be a good idea to simply leave. This is sort of like closing the door on the Jehovah’s Witness, but sometimes that is what you have to do.
Tip 8. Let your intuition about people guide you
Sometimes your intuition about people is right, especially when it comes to behaviors that you observe that appear strange. This is sort of like the scene in The Matrix where Neo sees the same cat twice and his crew tells him that this is a sign that the agents changed something. If you see something or hear something that seems or looks strange to you, it probably is.
Tip 9. Be suspicious of language that allows you to engage in a behavior
You may think that a narcissist or manipulator will engage in language that orders you to do this or that, but this is not how neuro-language programming works. They use calming, permissive language to induce you to go into a trance. Commands are not effective in the manner that permissive language is so on the lookout for this.
Tip 10. Do not permit others to copy your body language
Part of what alarms about mind control is that it works because human beings are susceptible to mind control. Indeed, you cannot even call it being clueless because most people simply do not know what is going on. Someone copying your body language can be a sign that they are engaged in mind control so one step towards breaking this pattern is immediately being aware of this and sensing danger.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is dark psychology?
Dark psychology refers to the arts of manipulation, persuasion, hypnosis, and mind control that are practiced and studied by manipulators and others. The term is of recent origin, reflecting an interest in a spectrum of practices that have been at work for hundreds of years but which had not been grouped together and studied as a specific field before. Although dark psychology lies outside the realm of academic psychological study, it is related to the field of abnormal psychology and is based on aspects of individual psychology theory as promoted by Alfred Adler in the early 20th century.
Dark psychology is studied both by those who have an interest in practicing it for their benefit and by men and women interested in teaching others how to defend themselves from the acts of narcissists, manipulators, and others using these tactics. Dark psychology encompasses a wide range of behaviors that may be done intentionally to cause harm or which may indicate a deep motivation to behave in a darkly destructive way. This aspect of dark psychology is difficult for some men and women to understand or to relate to, but it represents an important aspect of the field that explains the behavior of some people.
Is dark psychology a practice that only narcissists engage in?
An important concept within dark psychology theory is that all human beings are capable of engaging in acts of evil. Many men and women believe perhaps that they are good and that they are incapable of behaving in a manner that would be described as evil, but studies of human behavior by researchers in dark psychology and others have revealed the capacity for human beings to behave in a wantonly cruel or destructive way. The observation that human beings are capable of behaving in this fashion is not something that psychologists and psychiatrists have discovered, but it is an observation that has been made for hundreds of years (if not longer than that).
Indeed, much of the writing of the French philosophers of the 18th century focused on the question of the inherent goodness or badness of mankind because of a humanistic desire to better educate young people for the world. These philosophers reached the conclusion that Man was capable of behaving with great cruelty frequently in a willful manner. It is important to observe that many of these people would not be described as narcissists today, requiring that the reality of human cruelty be approached from a different standpoint. Although specialists in animal behavior can (and have) argued that animals naturally behave in a selfish or cruel way (what we might describe as narcissistic behavior today) the range of behaviors displayed in dark psychology transcend what is seen in other animals, leading to a phenomenon that some refer to as dark singularity.
Wh
at is a dark singularity?
It has been observed that human beings are capable of accessing a deep well of malign or malevolent behaviors and some describe these as representing what is known as a dark singularity. This is different from the dark triad that some have proposed as the traits in the dark triad represent behaviors that are conscious and can be explained by traditional psychological concepts. What dark singularity represents is a deep well of “evil” that human beings can access on an individual or a group basis. An important aspect of dark singularity is that it may not be entirely conscious, unlike narcissistic behavior, for example, that is typically intentional.
It can be challenging for some to recognize what this dark singularity really refers to because it is not a concept that is typically encountered in academic studies or in conversation. It can be argued that religion has approached this concept in its construction of acts evil being the result of possession or temptation by a demon, an evil spirit, or by Satan. Dark singularity, therefore, represents this type of evil, purposeless motivation but without an external actor like Satan to blame for the action. The cause would instead be a deep characteristic of human beings that can be accessed by a manipulator as part of dark psychological practice.