Sky leaned up and kissed him, halting his flow of words. “Please. I don’t want to think about it right now.”
“I know.” His fingers trailed under her jaw and he tilted her face up so he could kiss the tears that spilled down her cheeks. He chased a few with his tongue. “That’s why I did the thinking, but as for the rest—where we live, how we manage the time and distance—that’s for both of us to decide. I just needed to make it legal and to provide for you and Montana.”
“We’re married,” she said. “Like a business deal. Because it was practical.”
His gray eyes searched hers. Regret lingered, but determination shone through. “We’ll make it work. We had to make it right, Sky.”
She rolled her eyes at the R word.
“But, Sky, baby, you took all my options by not telling me you were pregnant. You took away our choices together. Newton’s Law.”
He held out the strawberry again, and this time she took a bite of the huge berry swirled with dark and white chocolate. Flavor burst in her mouth. Delicious. And there was a gorgeous liquor in the berry. She was for the first time in her life heading toward tipsy and she so didn’t care. She held out the strawberry for him to share, careful to keep the liquor from spilling out. His mouth brushed her fingers as he finished all but the stem. He chewed and swallowed while holding her eyes.
“Which one?” she whispered. She’d always found his quirky math and science references endearing. Her husband was a hot bull rider and a nerd.
“The third one.”
“And which one is that?” She was pulling his chain, but Kane was way too earnest to ever get that, and Sky found she got a little of her equilibrium back.
“For every action in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction.”
He leaned forward and tried to kiss her.
She didn’t feel quite ready for that, and he could tell.
“What’s wrong? Are you mad that I was gone most of the day?”
“No,” she sighed. “I know you have many demands on your time.”
“You and Montana are my first priority,” he said quickly.
And he probably believed that. But… “I just don’t feel married,” she finally said, not wanting to hurt him, but also wanting to strive for honesty and openness between them.
“It will take time.”
She pressed her lips together and looked down at her bare finger.
“Is it a secret?” she finally asked.
“No, of course not.”
“But you didn’t tell your family.”
“No.”
She waited. And waited. So much for honesty and openness.
“So it is a secret.”
“I want to get married for real,” he said. “In a church or on the property my brothers have. We’re trying to get together enough land so that we can each work it how we want—bull breeding, horse breeding and training—hell, Laird even wants to grow hops and brew beer and distill organic whiskey or something like that, but I want to marry in front of my family so that they can be your family and Montana’s family.”
Tears filled her eyes.
“So I didn’t want to tell them until I proposed, but I didn’t want to wait to legally marry you.”
Sky looked at him. Sincerity shone through.
“We really got it backward,” she said softly, leaning in toward him so that her mouth was so closer to his, and her fingers held on to his shoulders. “Baby, marriage, proposal, family wedding.”
She stared down at his chest, the honed muscles, the half-moon scar on his left side that was new and wasn’t, she hoped, part of a bull hoof.
“My head is still spinning,” she told him.
“Mine too.”
“Really?” Kane had seemed in total control since he’d entered the gallery except for his aberrant stalking off into the desert.
“I just now feel I can breathe again,” he said. “When I saw you at the gallery my brain just…” He made an exploding sound and flexed his fingers like a starburst. “Gone. I was gone. I kissed you again because I couldn’t really help myself. It was like four years hadn’t happened, and then I turned around, saw our little girl, I just…I just…”
For the first time he broke eye contact. “My world just collapsed. I…” he spread out his fingers again “…I was not functioning. All I had was instinct. And this anger. I’d always sworn I wouldn’t be that man who walked away from a kid, and suddenly there I was. A stranger. A man you couldn’t trust. A man who didn’t know his kid.”
“Kane, we’ve gone over this, and I’m so, so sorry,” Sky breathed. “But it’s my first wedding night.”
“Your only wedding night,” he growled and pulled her more firmly onto his lap.
She lifted herself up and teased his erection by rubbing up and down it. Shock waves danced along her clit and through her bloodstream.
“You said I’d have two wedding nights. The legal one and the family one, and I intend to take full advantage.”
“You can have a hundred wedding nights as long as they are all with me.”
And then he kissed her. And she kissed him back, losing herself to his heat.
“I missed kissing you,” Sky said when she could finally talk again. The water rippled around them, and Kane’s erection was like a flaming sword between them, one that she intended to sheath in herself for hours tonight. “You always make me feel like I can fly. I want to fly with you.”
“Let’s get out of here. I have to have you and we’ll make the floor too wet,” he whispered harshly in her ear, already standing and lifting her with him.
“I know it’s very cavewoman of me, but I absolutely love how strong you are.”
Kane barely bothered with a towel. He carried her to the bed, even managing to grab his glass of champagne. Sky managed to snag the bowl of strawberries as they left the bath. Kane laid her carefully down on the silky sheets, which she could feel grow damp behind her back.
“Don’t worry, baby, all your heat’s going to dry everything off.” He spread her out, and then sat back on his heels to look at her.
“Trying to decide where to start.”
Sky dipped her finger in the champagne and then traced her lips.
“Here?” she whispered. She did it again, only this time she dripped the champagne on her nipples. “Maybe here?” she asked. Then she dipped again and spread her legs. “Or here?”
Kane’s eyes glittered. “All of it. I want it all.”
Sky picked up the glass and deliberately spilled some down her body. “It’s yours. Everything is yours.” She reached for a strawberry from the bowl and tucked it slightly in her slick, heated entrance.
“Jesus, Sky,” Kane breathed. “You kill me—you really do.”
“I hope not. I want you to feel, very, very alive when I make you cum.” She lay flat on the bed, only elevating her head with her elbows behind her.
“I hope you are very, very hungry, Kane.”
*
Sky should be sleepy. She’d been so keyed up for the hospital’s art auction and dinner last week that she hadn’t been able to sleep and since Kane had come striding back into her life, sleep had been even more scarce, and yet tonight they’d made love three times almost without a break. They’d been so hungry for each other, as if they’d been starved and were now gorging. Kane had been so tender and then assertive, almost rough, and she’d loved every minute of it.
Now she lay tucked into his body, his arms wrapped tightly around her. One hand was splayed against her stomach, and one finger traced her small scar over and over so she knew he wasn’t asleep.
“I want to have a baby with you,” Kane said into the dark of the room. “I want to feel it grow and kick. I want to run out to the store at midnight and get you crazy foods if you have a craving.”
She laughed even though she knew she shouldn’t encourage him.
“Kane, you are crazy,” she said. “We just got back together two days ago, and n
ow you have us married and are talking about another baby.”
“I know what I want and I move fast.”
“More like you strike,” she said, and she should be way more disturbed than she was by this conversation. “Cobras are slower. And I didn’t crave weird food. I hardly had an appetite, and had to force myself to eat. Brown rice noodles in vegetable broth was the only thing that stayed down until the third trimester.”
He rolled so that they were facing. His hands were gentle on her face.
“I want to cut the cord.”
“And bury the placenta facing north.”
He started. “Did you do that?”
She laughed. “No. I barely acknowledged I was having a baby so I was no earth mom. I nursed because it was free and easy.”
“I want to taste your milk.”
“I love your kinky ideas,” Sky said. “But can we learn to manage our first child together before we embark on another?”
“So you’d consider another baby?” Kane asked, triumph in his voice.
Somehow Sky felt conned. She wanted to make a joke about diapers, but then she thought that wouldn’t be kind. For all she knew Kane was jonesing to change a diaper or hopefully a hundred. She leaned forward and kissed him, putting a promise into her kiss.
“Kane, I love you. I do. I never stopped loving you, but we don’t even know where we are going to live or what our life will look like in another month or two. You’re packing all of our things except for what fits in a couple of suitcases, off to Montana. I don’t know where we’ll live in Montana. I don’t know where we’ll live if we go on the road with you. I don’t know how I’ll do my art. Colt said he could convert one of the barns to a studio for me, but…” She trailed off. “All of that is logistics. I’m still figuring out how we are as a family.”
“You love me?” he whispered. “Even after all I put you through?”
Her whole practical speech and that was what he got out of it? Her unconscious revelation that had come out as a declaration, but it was true. Loving Kane was what she’d always done best. Even when he hadn’t loved her. And he still didn’t love her. It hurt. Her heart felt like someone had stomped on it, but she had to get up and keep going. Open and honest. She’d survived without love before, her whole life, and she knew Kane cared for her. He did.
“Always,” she said simply. “Forever.”
Chapter Fourteen
Three days later, Sky was sitting in the makeshift AEBR managerial office in the Phoenix arena on a Skype call with the headquarters, pinching herself. Rather than being upset with her sculpture The Ride, corporate wanted to commission something similar only much larger for the corporate offices. No tattoo. Shirt and vest. Sky had nearly laughed, but now it was all she could do to not jump out of her seat.
She promised to get back to them with some preliminary design sketches soon. She also had an all-access badge to photograph a variety of riders as well as backstage scenes. She couldn’t publish anything without AEBR permission, and they had the right of…blah…blah…blah. They’d send her a contract. Sky would have Kane’s attorney look at it, but she had a commission. And a purpose. She wasn’t just Kane’s wife masquerading as his hanger-on baby mama, girlfriend.
She ended the call and spun around in the chair.
“Yes.” She jumped up and fist pumped the air, but before she could get too fired up, her phone rang. She crossed her fingers hoping it was Kane and that he was done with the autograph signing at a massive western wear and sporting goods store chain so that and she could tell him her great news.
“Hey! Are you done? Guess what?”
“Sky.”
Oops, Jonas.
“How are you? So good to hear from you, Jonas.” She infused her voice with more warmth. “You must be so busy with the auction Saturday night.”
“Tell me you are going to attend. I have a ticket for you.”
“Ahhh.” Sky paused at the door of the office, intending to leave so that she could head back to the hotel. She had planned to attend before Kane had burst back into her life with the subtlety of a bucking bull.
“The answer I’m looking for, Sky, is yes. Bring your cowboy if you must, but he can buy his own ticket.”
“Kane’s riding Saturday night.”
But only if he makes it to the finals.
It was disloyal to even think like that, and if he didn’t make the finals it was because his ass or some other part of him kissed the dirt, and the thought of that really made her ill, although she had seen him tossed off more than she cared to remember. But he always thought he could make it to the bell. Definitely a life lesson there.
“Riding what?”
“A bull.”
“You’re serious.”
“Very. That sculpture really was of him Jonas. He really does that.” Ugh she was practically gushing. “I took a bunch of pictures of him and of other riders the summer I…” she didn’t want to say followed him “…did my research.”
“You did a hell of a lot more than research,” Jonas said drily, and Sky could practically hear him rolling his eyes. “Bring him after. The live auction won’t even start until nine or so. Maybe he can get there early and do a little publicity to gin up the bidding.”
“I’ll talk to him.”
“What, he has you on a leash? You can’t go to promote your own art without him?”
“Jonas,” Sky said, pressing her lips together tightly because she should be able to promote her art, but this thing with Kane was so new she could hardly not watch him ride in his hometown. “I’m watching him ride on Saturday night. I promised, and it’s his hometown. I said I’d talk to him about the auction to see if we can make it, and I will. No promises.”
Long, tense silence. “You still delivering the sculpture series to the gallery tomorrow?”
“Yes,” she said. “Of course.”
“Good. I have a collector in town. He’s very interested and very loaded.”
Sky squeezed the phone, nearly hanging up in the process. “That’s good news, Jonas,” she said aiming for caution but her voice squeaked a little.
“See you tomorrow, and I want to hear a yes about Saturday.” He disconnected before Sky could mutter what had become the theme of her life—does anyone ever ask?
*
Kane headed to the dressing room area where he’d stashed his equipment bag and usual changes of clothes. He’d hated leaving Sky and Montana alone most of the day. The day had seemed flat and dull without them. Hopefully tonight, Sky would agree to attend the sponsor event at Cactus Whiskey Distillery, one of the larger sponsors for the Phoenix AEBR show.
Part of him didn’t want her to come because he knew a lot of the bull riders would be there and some would hit on her reflexively just to fuck with him. And a lot of the sponsors and the employees wouldn’t hesitate to hit on her either. She’d been so shy when they’d first hooked up four years ago that he had kept her apart from most of his world to protect her, but also, he grimaced wryly, he’d discovered he was a possessive and jealous jerk, and he’d wanted to squash that part of his personality. Hard to be jealous when you kept your girl to yourself. But now she was his wife. And he trusted her.
No more keeping his personal life totally separate. He was all in with Sky and he wanted her to be all in with him and his world. And that meant more public events. Together. He had a plan for tonight that she might not love, but it would solve one looming problem that she would hate a lot more.
“Gage.” Kane stopped in surprise. Gage was in the dressing room, straddling a bench and checking his bull rope for any fraying parts, trimming it, and he had some rosin ready. Usually riders worked their ropes Friday and Saturday late afternoon to settle themselves into their routine. Get their head in the game.
Gage bent over his rope, his expression shuttered, obviously deep in thought, and those thoughts were clearly not good. Kane had been there himself more often than not.
“You tight?” he sho
cked himself by asking.
He wasn’t the last bull rider on the tour who would open up or inspire a confidence, but he definitely wasn’t in the top ten. Or twenty. Gage noticed.
He straightened and looked up, his features smoothed—polite but distant.
“Kane.” He went back to his rope, pocketknife steady as he cut off the stray frayed threads. “Heard you got some changes in your life.”
“That’s a fucking understatement.” Kane laughed, nearly jumping out of his skin to hear it. What the hell? He was happy. Happy. Downright giddy like his first season on the tour when he was learning so much—how to ride, how to focus, how to manage his higher center of gravity and keep his body on the right plane, how to read the bulls and counter each move, how to be tough, pace himself and to take care of himself. Before all the marketing and money bullshit that tried to interfere with the raw exhilaration of the rides.
Weird.
Obviously because Gage stared at him, his hands still on his rope.
“Changes are good, right?” Gage asked cautiously as if he were worried that by asking a follow-up question he would be breaking some kind of personal bull rider code.
“Yeah,” Kane said, feeling like something that had been locked up tight inside him cut loose a little, making it easier to breathe. He never shared his shit with anyone on the tour. He’d been closest to Gramps—Rory Douglas—but Rory seemed to be getting injured more, emotionally pulling away. Kane liked other riders, respected even more, but he’d been so used to keeping his distance in an effort to keep his focus, he’d forgotten the concept of camaraderie, like he’d had when he’d first joined the tour before he’d rocketed up the ranks and the sponsors and money had come pouring in and the target on his back got bigger than a billboard.
“I got a daughter.”
“I heard.” Gage went back to his rope.
Kane pulled on his work gloves and pulled his pocketknife out of its holder hooked to his belt.
Kane (American Extreme Bull Riders Tour Book 6) Page 20