After a few teenage years sleeping with all the eligible young boys in Point Loma, and after numerous fights with my parents about my promiscuous activity, I left for Santa Fe. There, I threw myself into my art and collected a pretty impressive supply of sex toys to keep me entertained between occasional boyfriends.
I needed to calm myself after what had happened with Jax. Meditation wasn’t working, and bong hits were barely making a dent in my shame.
I trudged to my dresser and reached into the bottom drawer where my stash of sex toys waited, always eager to please—the pink Wild G-Spot Vibrator, the purple Adam & Eve Butterfly Kiss, and the pink Rotating Rabbit Vibrator. They never let me down. I selected one of my favorites, pulled my panties down, lay on my bed, spread my legs, and flicked the switch on. Surrendering to the exquisite, torturous enjoyment as the vibrator worked its magic, I temporarily forgot about everything wrong in my life.
When I’d had my fill, I lay on my bed, spent, and made a vow.
I would not touch Jax sexually again.
I couldn’t. It was so wrong.
Jax
“Jax, be a sweetheart and help your brother set the table,” my mom said.
A few days after what happened between Rosalyn and me, we were all having dinner before heading out to watch Tyler’s band play at a local dive in downtown San Diego.
“Sure thing, mother dearest, light of my life,” I told her, bouncing into the kitchen to grab plates out of the cabinet.
“And what are you so happy about, young man?” my mom said, hands on hips.
“We got some killer waves today, mom,” Tyler said from where he sat on the sofa tuning up his guitar.
My mom smiled at me. “Surfing always makes you happy, doesn’t it baby?”
“Stop calling me baby names, Mom.”
“You’ll always be my baby.”
My dad snuck up behind my mom and put his arms around her. “Leave the kid alone.” His hands almost made contact with her breasts, and I quickly looked away. That was totally gross.
“Tyler! Get in here and help your brother,” my dad yelled.
“Coming,” he said, setting his guitar aside.
I was super excited because Rosalyn was coming for dinner then going to the concert with us.
I’d barely slept the night before thinking about what had happened between us. I still couldn’t believe it, couldn’t stop thinking about the touch of her warm, soft hand on my cock.
What happened after Rosalyn left was super embarrassing. I lay in bed and jerked off twice. Then, I did it again in the shower before I went to bed. And when I got into bed and could tell Tyler was asleep, I’d gone at it again. When I woke up in the middle of the night, fresh from a sex dream about Rosalyn, my hard-on throbbing, I did it again. I’d quickly whacked off before school that morning as Tyler banged on the bathroom door. If I kept that up, I was seriously going to end up with blisters. I couldn’t stop thinking about Rosalyn.
I heard a knock at the front door, and I almost lost consciousness from the anticipation of seeing her again.
“Hey guys.” Rosalyn sauntered into the kitchen with some kind of vegetarian casserole in her hands. When she floated past me, I could feel the heat of her skin.
“Jax, help Rosalyn with the food,” my mom said.
I could barely look Rosalyn in the eye without thinking that the whole family would read the look on my face.
“Hey baby,” Rosalyn said to me, “Be a sweetie and turn the oven on to three-fifty, will you?”
I quickly scampered to the oven, eager to please.
“Well, I see you let Rosalyn call you baby names,” my mom said. My face heated up.
We all sat around the dinner table, with Rosalyn right across from me. My heart hammered in my chest. I could barely eat. At one point, her foot touched my leg. Even when she was no longer touching me, it felt like she was, like I’d been branded. I caught my breath and felt Mr. Out-Of-Control come to life. Whoa, Nelly.
“You nervous?” my mom asked.
I snapped my head up, thinking she was talking to me, but then Tyler answered.
“I’m always nervous before a gig, yeah. But we got some new songs we’re working on. Can’t wait to try ‘em out.”
The conversation meandered for a while. I perked up every time I heard Rosalyn’s sultry voice.
“So Troy,” Rosalyn said, “Tell me what’s going on at the research center.”
My dad was assistant professor at Scripps teaching oceanography.
“Same old stuff, Roz. Just another day at the beach,” he said. “And how are you settling in at your new place?”
“Pretty good. Jax’s been helping. Pretty handy boy you got here.”
“Good,” my dad said. “Jax, you make sure Rosalyn has everything she needs.”
Oh yes, dad. I would love to make sure Rosalyn has everything she needs.
Tyler’s eyes strayed from me, to Rosalyn, then back to me again. “I heard you’re a pretty good surfer,” he said to Rosalyn. My smile was immediate, and Tyler seemed to catch the way I looked at Rosalyn. His eyes were laser beams, penetrating me. My chin dipped, and I noticed I had shredded my paper napkin. “In fact, Jax told me you’re pretty good at a lot of things.”
Rosalyn took a sip of her water. “What do you mean?”
“Like painting and … dancing, and … so, Rosalyn, do you have a boyfriend?”
Mom saved me by saying, “Tyler! Leave Rosalyn alone. Can’t you see she’s trying to enjoy her dinner? Stop asking personal questions that are none of your business.”
All the blood drained out of my body. I hadn’t told Tyler anything about what happened, but that’s the way it was between us. Tyler was almost like my twin brother. He picked up on the things that were going on with me, sometimes before I even knew myself. My brother was creepily psychic.
Rosalyn beamed a broad smile. “It’s okay. Tyler, honey, why don’t you tell me about your band? How long have you guys been together?”
He shrugged. “Couple years.”
“Have you always wanted to play guitar?”
“Guess so. Could never understand people who didn’t like music.”
“Well, sweetie, I can’t wait to see you play.”
I didn’t like it that Rosalyn kept using words like sweetie and honey when she spoke to Tyler, but I suppose it took some of the attention away from me. My feelings for Rosalyn were hard to hide.
I exhaled a breath that I didn’t know I was holding when my dad said, “Okay gang, we better get going.”
“Shotgun!” I yelled as my brother gathered up his guitar, heading for the door.
Rosalyn
When Lydia invited me to the concert that night, I couldn’t say no. I wanted to watch Tyler perform, but I was not eager to spend time with Lydia and Troy. I felt like I’d betrayed them. Could they read the guilt all over my face? Also, I was not looking forward to enduring an evening with Jax. What exactly was I supposed to say? “Hey, about that hand job I gave you … please just forget about it.”
After dinner, we went to The Bottom Line, a dive bar known for its cheap beer, pool tables, and loud rock music. I guess the owner of the bar didn’t really care if Tyler, his bass player, and the drummer were only teenagers, because their band, Love Bone, was packing in the crowds.
On the way over, Jax didn’t ride shotgun because we decided to cram into Troy’s Volvo. I sat in the backseat squished between Tyler and Jax. It was impossible to ignore Jax’s warm body, which was solid as a marble sculpture of Michelangelo’s David. I looked out the window and took deep breaths. I told myself I was breathing in calm, breathing out shame mixed with desire.
We arrived, and while Troy and Lydia found us a table in the dark bar, Tyler invited Jax and me backstage before the show. We followed Tyler down the narrow hallway, Jax behind me. I was hyperaware of him, only inches away.
The backstage area was a small room with harsh fluorescent lighting. An old bedspread covered a r
atty sofa, and open bags of cheesy puffs and potato chips along with a few cans of soda littered a scratched coffee table.
“Thanks for coming, guys,” Tyler said. He paced back and forth, his guitar strapped to his chest, looking at his hands. “What if I forget where my fingers are supposed to go on the fret board? Last gig was a fuckin’ train wreck.”
Jax smiled at his brother. “If you’re gonna fuck it up, fuck it up with confidence. Besides, all the chicks love your hair.”
Tyler’s bottom lip quivered, and he smiled, pushing his hair out of his face. “You try getting up here some night.”
“Thanks for the offer, bro, but I’ll stick to the waves. Now, break a leg.”
“Good luck, honey. You’ll do great.” I touched Tyler’s arm, and he seemed to sag in one big exhale.
Jax and I made our way to the pub table where Troy and Lydia sat as the house lights went down and the room grew quiet. Someone let out a “Woohoo!” and suddenly the stage lights came on, spotlight on Tyler. He adjusted the mic stand and looked back at the drummer, a tall and lanky redhead who winked and saluted him with a drumstick. Then Tyler turned to his bass player who smiled and nodded, his long brown locks hiding his face. Addressing his equipment, Tyler stomped on each of his pedals, double, then triple checking. I saw him glance at the set list in front of him.
Tyler smiled at the crowd. His voice faltered a bit. “Hi everybody. I’m Tyler Priest, and this is Love Bone. Enjoy the show, and let’s try not to wake the neighbors. One, two, three…”
The band rocked!
For someone who’d been so nervous to get on stage, once Tyler performed, he was completely at ease. His speaking voice was deep and gravelly, and his singing voice was the same with a haunting, masculine, raw sound that made me feel warm. His vibrant green eyes connected with the audience and he toyed with the microphone in a sensuous manner that was almost pornographic. His body jerked and swayed with the deep bass of the music.
In between songs, he’d banter with the audience about surfing and told witty jokes. Sometimes he’d get on one knee and sing directly to a table of girls in the audience. They went wild, reaching out to touch his hair. He even leaned forward and kissed one of them on the cheek.
My smile of pride was deep.
The club had a small dance floor, and the eager crowd was up and on their feet, some of them singing along with the lyrics, everybody swaying and gyrating to the music. Troy and Lydia danced in a way that would’ve put some of those dirty dancers to shame. Those two were one of those couples that most people love to hate. They displayed a sickeningly-sweet love that made it seem like they’d just met.
We sat at the table, and Jax stared at me, those blue eyes making me squirm. I tapped my foot. I knew I had to say something. Above the din of the music, I whispered in his ear. “Jax? You didn’t say anything to Tyler, did you?”
“Think I’m nuts? Of course not.”
“Why was he so nosy at dinner?”
“Heck if I know. That’s Tyler.”
I knew I’d ventured into dangerous territory by what I had done to Jax. But the thing of it was, I knew I couldn’t take it back. I looked at Jax, this young man who was so eager to please everyone around him. He had a sincere face, not to mention a pair of faded jeans that hung low around his hips and a surf T-shirt that fit snugly over his chest.
I took a long sip of my beer, and inspected my manicure while leaning back in my chair. I looked around the bar and said, “Well, what the hell are we doing sitting here like a couple of stiffs? Let’s dance.”
“Me? Dance? I don’t know how.”
“There’s nothing to it. You just follow my lead.”
He stared at me.
“You in?” I said.
“So long as I don’t step on your feet.”
“You won’t.” I stood up. “Let’s go.”
He smiled, stood up, and secured my arm through his. He was warm and strong. I was hyperaware of every touch.
The band played a slow ballad, Tyler’s deep, sexy voice causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand up. Once we were on the dance floor, Jax slipped his arms around me.
“Is this okay?” he whispered.
His powerful chest pressed up against my breasts, and his heart felt like a bird trying to escape its cage.
“Yes, fine.”
I didn’t know if this was such a good idea because I could feel myself getting aroused. Jesus! I buried my head into the crook of his neck and inhaled deeply of his masculine scent, which reminded me of the ocean.
“You feel good,” he said.
The music swelled, and the room spun. Jax slowly trailed his hands down my back, and next thing I knew, his hands were just above my butt. I slid his hands up. “Slow down there buddy.”
“Hey,” he whispered into my ear. “About what happened—”
No!
I quickly pulled away and put one finger to his lips. “Nothing happened.”
I had to get away from Jax. Adrenaline surged through my system, and I whirled around and pushed through the crowd. I took a few steps, making my way back toward our table. But before I reached the table, I tripped over someone’s leg and went flying. My arms stretched out in front of me as I fell to the sawdust-covered floor. And then there was Jax. He caught me around the waist. I turned and stared into those mesmerizing eyes.
“Rosalyn! Are you okay? You gotta watch yourself.”
Jax helped me back to our table, his arm around me. “Lean into me.” I’d hurt my ankle, and I could feel it swelling.
“Jesus, Rosalyn, you’re limping. Put your foot up on this chair.” I sat down, and he examined my ankle with alarm. “Are you okay? Does it hurt? It looks like it’s bruised.” He touched my ankle.
“Ouch!”
Troy and Lydia appeared at the table, hand in hand. “What happened here?” Lydia said.
“Just tripped. I’m okay. Jax here caught me.” I took a sip of beer and told Jax, “Be a sweetheart and get me some ice, will you honey?”
He sprang into action and ran to the bar.
Lydia inspected my ankle. “It looks pretty swollen.”
I winced when I pressed my ankle. “Jax is getting me ice. He’s a good person, Lyds. You raised him right.”
She smiled in a way that lit her whole body. “He’ll take care of you. Will you be okay if we go back out on the floor or do you want us here with you?”
“I’m fine. Please, go back out there and enjoy the music.”
She touched my ankle gently. “I don’t know about this.”
I waved her away. “Please! Tyler’s expecting you to have a good time tonight. I’ll be fine.”
“You’re sure?” Lydia shrugged, then she turned to Troy. “Let’s dance.” And they were off.
Jax returned with the ice wrapped in a bar towel, which he gently applied to my ankle.
“Can I get you anything else?”
“How about another beer?”
He sat up straight. “Lucky for you, the owner of the club knows me. But if they ask, the beer’s for you.”
“Who else would it be for?”
“Back in a flash.” Jax made his way through the throng, returning with a frosted mug of deliciously cold beer.
I drank beer after beer as Troy and Lydia danced the night away and Jax and I watched Tyler’s band perform.
“Slow down, Rosalyn,” Jax said, moving the glass away from my hand.
I shot him a look. “Helps with the pain.”
Jax wouldn’t leave my side, even helping me to the ladies room a few times, his arm around me, patiently waiting until I was done and ushering me back to the table where he set my leg up on a chair and made sure I had a fresh ice pack.
We listened to the music. The band reminded me of a cross between Pearl Jam and Nirvana. The deep bass and Tyler’s sensuous voice filled my body with heat and passion. I took another sip of beer.
After awhile, Jax leaned into me and whispered, “About what
happened the other day—”
“I told you, Jax, nothing happened! Now, let’s just sit back and enjoy the music.”
“But I need to know that we’re … that you’re okay.”
“Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
“Because … well, because what happened—”
“Will you listen to me? Nothing happened. And you’d better stop thinking that way. Get me another beer. Please?”
“I think you’ve had enough.” Jax leaned back and folded his arms.
“Baby, I haven’t had nearly enough. I wish I had my bong.” I took another sip of beer.
He jerked forward, looking at me with alarm. “Why do you have to smoke so much? It’s not good for you.”
I leaned forward and made eye contact with Jax, trying to avoid the hypnosis of those eyes. “Sweetie, I know what I’m doing. Now, let’s not talk about this anymore.”
He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, and in the name of everything holy, I tried not to stare at those sculpted arms. I touched his leg. “Just get me another beer, okay?”
He stood up and walked to the bar.
When he returned, he set a glass of ice water in front of me and touched my ankle. No beer? Okay fine, Mr. Adult.
“You better get this checked out.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“You’re not fine! You need somebody to watch over you.”
“And who exactly is that someone supposed to be?” I slurred.
He nudged the glass of ice water toward me. “I, I don’t know. Just someone.”
After the show, Troy drove while Tyler stayed behind to help the band. Jax and I sat silently in the backseat.
Troy and Jax helped me to the front door of my apartment. I let the weight of my body be supported by father and son.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Jax said, concern wrinkling his brow.
“Yes, sweetie.”
When I laid in bed that night, I thought of Jax. Helpful, loving, protective. And that body. Damn. As the ceiling swirled, I saw a vision of his smiling face. Jax was so trusting and lovable. I had to be careful not to hurt him.
I rolled over and petted Leo, who was curled up and purring next to me. A hot tear rolled down my cheek. I whispered a small prayer to the Universe.
Peaks of Passion: Pleasure Point Series Book One Page 5